Chapter Nineteen
I'm back in LA. Back to the grind. Back to my normal life.
I don't know why, but recently, my ordinary life has become less and less appealing. It's like I can't see the sparkle I used to see.
I saw Edward once more before I left. We had coffee at his place before he kissed me softly and told me to text when I landed. Told me he'd miss me. Told me he'd be counting the days until I was back. When I drove away I had to swallow down tears. It was getting harder to leave him and by the time I got to Seattle airport, I desperately missed him.
"You okay?" Jake asks quietly as I walk from my trailer through the sea of tents and trailers to set.
"Yeah I'm fine" I reply.
"Trouble at work?" He asks.
Jake might work for me but he's also one of my oldest friends.
"I'm just a bit homesick" I mumble.
"You are home" He points out, his eyes flashing to mine.
It's true. I am at home. The problem is, it doesn't feel like it anymore. It's not just Edward I miss either, I miss the guys, I miss Angela, I miss my parents, I even miss Finn.
"I'll be fine" I reassure him, fixing a smile on my face.
He nods before we reach set and I see Demitri and James in deep conversation. It doesn't look good either. They notice me approaching and break up whatever conversation they're having.
"Bella" Demitri smiles.
"Hi" I smile back. "Ready for the day?" I ask.
"Yes, we're all ready to go" He nods and I notice James has a slightly sour look on his face.
For the next couple of hours, I work diligently on the scene. When we finally break I roll my shoulder, feeling the tension there. I can feel the onset of a headache as well from the hairpins currently digging into my scalp.
"Bella" I hear James say behind me.
"Yes?" I reply, turning to face him.
"Are you going to the meeting with Laurent and Marcus on Wednesday?" He asks.
"Yes" I nod.
"Great, I wondered if I could pick you up?" He asks.
"Oh that's really not necessary" I smile.
"It's not a problem. Say three?" He continues.
Before I can answer, he's disappearing into the sea of crew members and extras. I stare after him before sighing and rubbing my temples.
Great.
Bella's back in LA and my life is back to the way it's always been. Except it's not the way it's always been because I'm missing her tremendously. I try to keep myself busy with work, Finn, my parents and the guys but I still feel this ache in my chest that seems to grow bigger by the day.
When Bella came to say goodbye before she went to the airport, I had to physically force myself to let her go. I watched her car drive away, watched it until I couldn't see it anymore and despite the fact that I knew she would be back in October, I felt like a piece of me left with her.
"Edward, you want one?" I hear Emmett ask me.
I look up and see him staring at me.
"Want what?" I reply.
"A coffee" He says, like it's fucking obvious.
"Oh er...yeah," I nod.
He goes to walk away but stops, turning back to face me as I work on the upper cabinets in the kitchen.
"You okay man?" He asks quietly.
"Yeah I'm fine" I mumble.
"Is it Bella?" He asks.
Of course, it's Bella.
I shrug in response.
"Missing her?" He questions.
I look at him like he should know the answer to that.
"Sorry, stupid question" He mumbles. "Have you spoken since she went back?" He asks.
"Not on the phone. We've texted but she's been busy" I tell him.
He nods a little.
"Wanna come out for a beer tonight?" He asks.
I sigh a little, scrubbing a hand over my face.
"Honestly, I think I'm just gonna go home and get an early night. I've not been sleeping too well" I tell him.
I leave out that my lack of sleep is due to Bella not being next to me.
"Okay man, well you know where we are if you want to do anything," Emmett says.
I nod, giving him a small smile. He squeezes my shoulder comfortingly before walking off.
Later that night, I'm at home, eating leftover pizza and drinking beer with Finn. I feel kind of pathetic, not to mention lonely. I watch shitty evening TV for a while before huffing a little and opening Netflix, scrolling through some of the options available.
I'm just about to give up when I see the poster for a movie I've avoided watching for years. It's the first movie Bella really starred in, Beneath The Stones. The movie description says that the story follows a young woman who falls in love with her dream man only to find out he has a dark past. I swallow thickly, taking a long drag of my beer before shrugging and pressing to play the movie.
As soon as the opening music starts I feel a tingle of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. The first scene starts and it's a close-up of Bella's sleeping face. I feel all the air get sucked out of my lungs as I look at her. Her eyes flutter open and I quickly pause the movie, staring at the screen.
She looks different.
She's younger obviously. By the year the movie came out she must have been about twenty-two. Her hair is long like it was when we were teenagers. Her face is slightly rounder and her figure is less developed.
I swallow thickly before pressing play again. I settle back against the couch, watching the movie unfold before me. After a while, I realise I'm completely hooked, completely captivated by Bella. I can see why the movie won so many awards and her so much praise for her performance.
I'm about halfway through when my phone suddenly buzzes. I grab it, opening the message.
Hey, sorry I wasn't able to talk again tonight - B
Hey, it's okay. How are things? - E
Exhausting. I'm around tomorrow. Would you be up for a video call? - B
I grin, already feeling excitement pool in my belly at the prospect of seeing her.
Sure. Can't wait - E
It's Wednesday and I'm due to be picked up by James to go to my meeting with Marcus and Laurent. I've been dreading this since it was forced upon me earlier this week. I really don't want to go anywhere with James but at least Jake will be coming with me as security.
I hear the gate buzzer sound and press to open it, seeing a blacked-out car pull in on the camera by the front door.
"You ready for this?" Jake asks.
"Yeah" I mumble.
I grab my purse, throw open the door and decide to get it over with.
"Bella!" James cries when he sees me.
"James" I smile pleasantly.
"Ready for lunch?" He asks.
"Yes," I nod.
His driver opens the back door for me and I slide into the back seat, followed by James. Jake climbs in after him, sitting on the seat opposite us. James doesn't look pleased with his presence but Jake seems completely unaffected.
"So lunch is at The Moonlight Gallery" James grins.
"I know. I've never been. Have you?" I ask, trying to make small talk.
"Yes, it's divine" He grins, flashing his perfect teeth at me. "You'll enjoy it."
Something about the way he says that makes my skin crawl.
Thankfully, the drive passes fairly uneventfully and before too long we're pulling up outside a beautiful Art Deco building. James's driver steps out and opens our door before Jake climbs out first. I step out behind him, followed by James before we make our way inside.
We're shown to a table at the back of the restaurant. It's beautiful, designed to look like an enormous glasshouse with a domed glass ceiling painted with golden stars.
"I'm going to sit at the bar" Jake whispers to me.
I nod in understanding before I take my seat at the table, James sitting next to me.
"Marcus and Laurent should be here soon," He tells me.
I nod, grateful for some extra company. I glance around the restaurant and see a few eyes on us, most likely recognising James rather than me.
"So, what would you recommend?" I ask, picking up my menu and reading the options.
"The lamb is exceptional," He says.
I nod before reading the other options and deciding that the lamb does sound particularly nice. I'm pulled out of my thoughts by Laurent and Marcus arriving at the table.
"James, Bella" Marcus smiles, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
"Bella, lovely to see you again" Laurent grins, giving me two kisses and patting my hand. I've always liked him.
They both take a seat before asking how we both are and telling us how pleased they are with the progress of the movie. After a couple of minutes, a waiter appears and we place our orders, James ordering a couple of bottles of wine for the table as well.
"So, you've met Elizabeth Masen I hear," Laurent says quietly.
"I did" I smile. "She's lovely."
Elizabeth and I have become fairly close over the last few weeks. It's most likely from working closely together on set, but I'd like to think she genuinely enjoys my company as well.
"Yes, she's quite the starlet. Still glamourous after all these years" He smiles. "And tell me, how do you feel filming is progressing?"
We talk for a while about the movie and my thoughts on certain scenes before our wine is brought, each of us receiving a generous glass. I try to settle back into my chair, sipping the amber liquid and feeling it relax my slightly anxious stomach.
As I sit there, I feel James's knee knock against mine and I cross my legs, moving it out of his way. Then, he presses harder and I realise it was intentional. I glance at him but he's talking to Marcus about something. As I feel his knee press against mine I realise how it feels nothing like when Edward did it. There's no buzz, no excitement, no tingling of the skin.
I shift in my seat a little, moving further out of his reach.
"Would you excuse me for a moment?" I say quietly before grabbing my purse and making my way to the bathroom, needing a moment.
I enter the heavily scented room and walk into one of the stalls, locking the door behind me and pulling out my phone. I sit on the closed toilet seat and open a new message.
I miss you - B
It's pathetic and needy, but I really wish he was here for some reason. I don't want to sit in this pretentious restaurant with James pressing his knee against mine. I don't want to make small talk about the movie and have to gush about all the things I think they're doing wrong. I just want Edward and his easy humour and flirty eyes and strong arms and warm smell.
I miss you too - E
I smile as the message comes in.
Can't wait for tonight - E
I smile wider, sending him a heart emoji.
I decide I've been in here long enough so I make my way out of the stall, checking my make-up in the mirror before heading back into the restaurant. As I arrive back at the table, our meals are being served.
"Sorry" I whisper.
Laurent and Marcus give me a warm smile as I sit back down.
I try to focus on eating my meal, which is indeed delicious, answering their questions about the movie and the publicity afterwards and trying to comfort myself with how I'll speak to Edward later.
"So providing the movie closes when it should, we thought the premiere would be around Christmas," Laurent says. "A good opportunity to encourage viewings."
I nod in understanding.
"I'll have to brush off my party dress" I tease.
We're just finishing our food when James excuses himself to the bathroom.
"So Bella," Laurent says as soon as we're alone, "What's it like working with James?"
I look at him for a long minute. I have to be careful how I answer this.
"He's a phenomenal actor" I smile.
It's true, he is talented and I can see why he's got to where he is.
"And?" Laurent continues, his eyes boring into mine.
"And he's very knowledgable of his craft" I nod.
"But?" Marcus asks.
"But he's a bit...flirty" I shrug.
They both exchange a look.
"It's nothing to worry about" I assure them, "He just likes women" I laugh.
They both nod a little.
"Is it affecting production?" Laurent asks.
Is it? Probably not. Is it affecting me? Definitely.
"No, the movie isn't being affected," I answer honestly.
They both nod.
"And are you okay with him?" Marcus asks.
It's sweet and I'm flattered he cares about my well-being.
"Yeah. I'm fine" I smile.
A few moments later, James returns, smiling at everyone.
"So dessert?" He asks.
"I couldn't" I reply, placing a hand on my stomach.
"Sweet enough eh?" He winks.
I force a laugh before my eyes flash to Marcus and I see a look of understanding. When everyone refuses dessert, Laurent picks up the cheque and I thank him for the lovely meal.
As we stand to go, I see Jake's eyes move to me and he stands from the bar, finishing his tonic water. We make our way towards the exit but just before we reach the door I realise there are suddenly five to ten paps waiting outside.
How'd they even know we were here?!
I sigh a little before Jake appears by my side.
"Ready?" He asks.
I nod before James appears next to me.
"Smile and wave boys" He teases and I can't help but laugh slightly at the terrible impression as we exit the building.
I feel Jake's hand on the small of my back as I keep my eyes down, ignoring the flashes and calls of my name. I see the blacked-out car waiting by the sidewalk and push forward toward it.
"Fucking paps" James mumbles in my ear and I give him a small smile.
We dive into the car, Jake clambering in behind us before the door is slammed and we drive away, flying through the city.
It's late and I'm still waiting for Bella to call, swigging my third beer, watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine for the fifth time tonight.
She texted me this afternoon saying that she missed me and it made the hole in my chest ache a little less. I missed her terribly, more than I expected. I missed her so much I'd smelled the shampoo she'd left in my shower, trying to let the scent of strawberries ease the ache she'd left behind.
My phone suddenly starts ringing and I grab it, answering it in seconds. I see Bella's face appear on my screen and feel myself grin, the alcohol I've consumed making it goofier than normal.
"Hey" She breathes, a smile lighting up her face.
I can see she's in her bedroom, sitting on her bed, her face illuminated by the bedside lamp.
"Hey" I smile. "How are you?"
"I'm okay. Busy" She nods. "Missing you" She adds.
"I miss you too" I tell her. "How was your day?"
"It was okay. I had a meeting with the two producers of the movie, Marcus and Laurent, and James" She says.
"How'd that go?" I ask, sipping my beer.
"It was fine. We had a nice lunch" She shrugs. "There were loads of paps when we left though".
"Really?" I reply, frowning a little.
"Yeah, someone at the restaurant must have tipped them off. Fuckers" She says and I can't help but chuckle.
She gives me a small smile before rolling her eyes.
"Anyway, tell me about what you've been doing." She says.
"Not much. Working, walking Finn, watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine" I chuckle. "Missing you mostly" I admit.
She gives me a sad smile before she sips her wine. As I watch her, my eyes take her in. Her long hair cascades over her shoulders, and she's wearing tight jeans and a red blouse.
"You look pretty" I tell her.
"Thanks" She smiles.
"Like...really pretty" I continue, the alcohol making my tongue loose.
"You been drinking?" She giggles.
"Maybe" I chuckle.
"How far in are you?" She asks.
"Three beers" I reply.
"You'll have to let me catch up" She teases.
"I can do that" I grin.
We continue to talk for a little bit about our day, Bella asking about the guys and Angela. She even asks about Finn. I notice she starts to roll her shoulders, trying to ease the tension in them.
"You okay?" I ask.
"Yeah, my shoulders ache" She says.
"You need a massage," I tell her.
"Yeah" She laughs.
"Shame you're so far away. I'm pretty good at rub-downs" I tease.
Our eyes lock and I feel the atmosphere between us change.
"Yeah" She murmurs.
There's a beat of silence before she clears her throat and places her empty wine glass down on the side.
"I'm just going to refill my drink and change," She says.
"Okay" I nod.
I watch as she moves from the bed, disappearing for a minute. A couple of minutes later I hear her come back in and can see her reflection in the floor-length mirror next to her bed. I watch as she sips her wine before placing it on the dresser. She digs through it finding a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.
She turns around and looks directly at the mirror and therefore at me. I know I should look away, avert my gaze and give her some privacy but I can't. It's like my eyes are glued to her.
I expect her to move out of frame when she realises I can see her but she doesn't. Instead, I watch a blush coat her cheeks and then she crosses her arms over her body, removing her shirt.
My breath catches in my throat as I see the dark lace covering her breasts and I feel myself harden in my pants when she pops the button on her jeans, dragging the zipper down. I watch as she pushes her jeans over her ass and down her creamy legs, kicking them off and leaving her in just her underwear.
I swallow thickly and reach down to adjust myself in my sweats, expecting her to get dressed but instead, she turns her back to me, letting me watch as she unclasps her bra. I hear a small groan leave the back of my throat as her bare back is revealed to me and then my eyes drop lower to her ass.
She glances over her shoulder at me and I squeeze my cock through my sweats, trying to relieve some of the ache in my groin. She gives me a little grin before she grabs the shirts and shorts throwing them on.
A moment later she appears in front of the camera again, a grin on her face.
"Fucking minx," I tell her, my voice deeper than before.
She laughs and I see her blush deepen before I grunt, trying to adjust myself in my pants.
"You got a little problem there?" She teases.
I look at her through the lens.
"Now you and I both know it's not little" I reply.
Her eyes darken and I notice her squeeze her legs together.
"No. It's not" She replies.
I feel a pulse pass between us and I desperately wish she was here, wish I could kiss her, touch her, fuck her, so I tell her.
"I wish you were here" I whisper.
"Oh yeah?" She smiles, taking a long sip of her wine.
I nod.
"Why's that then?" She asks.
I look at her for a long minute. I wonder if she'd let me start something sexy with her? She said once before she wanted to see me touch myself and I know I really want to see her do that too. I just don't know if her inhibitions would get in the way.
"I want to touch you," I tell her honestly.
Her eyes bore into mine and I notice her breathing becomes a little elevated, a blush creeping up her cheeks.
"Oh yeah?" She whispers.
"Mmhmm" I nod, placing my empty bottle down on my nightstand and getting comfortable, leaning back against my pillows. "I really want to touch you" I reply, my voice deeper than before.
I see her eyes darken and her legs squeeze together again. Her eyes appear torn, her inhibitions getting the better of her, but her body definitely wants to know more. There's a beat of silence before she speaks.
"How?" She whispers.
"You want me to tell you what I'd do to you, baby?" I ask her.
She nods, her bottom lip going between her teeth. A deep rumble leaves my chest at the realisation that she wants to do this. I'll admit, there's a little anxiety in my stomach. I have no experience with this kind of thing but I've consumed enough alcohol and I've had blue balls for enough time to not care about my technique right now. I decide to just be honest with her, telling her all the dirty thoughts floating through my head.
"I want to feel how wet you are," I tell her.
Bella moans quietly and squeezes her legs together again.
"I want to feel you on my fingers" I continue, my free hand cupping myself through my pants and trying to relieve the ache in my groin.
Her eyes move to my hand that's out of shot and I see her eyes darken even more.
"Are you..." She trails off, her question unfinished but I know what she's asking.
"Do you want me to?" I murmur.
I know she mentioned it before but in reality, she might feel differently. I watch as she swallows hard before she nods.
"You wanna watch me touch myself, baby?" I breathe, my head swimming at the thought.
"Yes" She breathes and I can't help but groan.
"I want to watch you too," I tell her.
Her blush deepens and she suddenly looks a bit worried.
"Please baby" I whisper. "You don't have to show me...that...if you don't want to but at least let me watch your face."
I know I sound pathetic but right now I'd settle for just listening to her if nothing else.
"Okay," She breathes after a beat.
I let out a breath of relief before I watch her lie back on her pillows, the camera framing her face.
"Urgh...you're so beautiful," I tell her honestly and she giggles, her cheeks flushing.
"You're pretty hot yourself" She teases.
"Oh yeah?" I smirk.
I know she thinks I'm hot but it's still nice to hear.
"Mmm," She nods.
"Wanna see the abs?" I tease her.
She laughs loudly and the sound makes me chuckle before she nods, her eyes dancing.
I place my phone next to me and yank my t-shirt over my head, grabbing the phone and lying back against the pillows. Bella's eyes immediately fall to my abs and I see her bite her bottom lip, her eyes darkening.
The lower half of my body is out of view so I reach down, shoving my sweats to mid-thigh so I can wrap my hand around myself. I let out a shuddering breath as I feel a little relief before my eyes fix on Bella's face again.
"Are you...doing it?" She whispers, her voice breathier than before.
I nod and she moans quietly, her face looking a little pained.
"Talk to me" She breathes.
I focus on her face, continuing from where I left off.
"I want to touch you, want to feel you warm on my fingers," I tell her.
"Mm," Bella moans, her eyes burning into mine.
"I want to feel how wet you are too" I breathe, moving my hand over myself and letting out a small grunt.
I keep my rhythm steady, not wanting to cum too soon, wanting to enjoy whatever I can have with her.
"Are you touching yourself?" I whisper.
I see the blush burn on her cheeks before she gives me a small nod and I groan low at the thought.
"Are you wet?" I ask.
She moans quietly before giving me another nod. I feel my head swim at the thought.
"Tell me more" She moans, her breathing turning heavy. "What else do you want?"
"I want to taste you on my tongue" I continue.
"Mmm," Bella moans, her eyes closing for a moment.
"I want to hear you make those fucking noises that you make when I flick it against your clit" I tell her, my eyes fluttering slightly.
"Urgh, Edward" She moans, her breathing becoming harsh.
"Tell me what you want," I say to her.
"I..." She opens her eyes, her cheeks flaming.
I know she's embarrassed but I want to hear her.
"Please baby" I moan, my fist twisting a little as I reach the tip of my cock.
"I want to suck you" She whispers.
I groan low, my eyes closing as I listen to her talk to me.
"Fuck, I really want that," I tell her, "You were so fucking good at it".
She lets out a breathy laugh and I feel the corner of my mouth turn up at the sound.
"I doubt that" She whispers, breathlessly.
"You were. So fucking warm and wet" I say, closing my eyes and remembering the feel of her mouth on me, "And when you fucking swallowed...urgh," I grunt.
Bella moans and I hear her breathing become even more laboured.
"I want to be inside you too," I tell her, my eyes opening and finding hers.
"Please" She moans and the sound goes straight to my dick, making me fist it harder.
"How would you want me? Soft...or hard" I pant, my mouth dropping open as I try to breathe.
"Hard" She replies, any embarrassment and inhibitions gone and replaced with pleasure.
I groan.
"Fuck I want that too." I moan. "I wanna feel you wrapped around me. Never done that with anyone before. You're so fucking tight too..."
I pump my cock harder, the sound of skin on skin reaching my ears and I briefly wonder if Bella can hear it through the phone.
"Tell me what you like" Bella moans, her blush reaching her neck and the top of her breasts, disappearing beneath her t-shirt. I can tell she's getting close.
"I like everything" I admit. "I like when you're underneath me. You feel small and when you wrap your legs around me...fuck...that's so fucking good" I breathe. "And I like when you're on top too. I can see myself moving in and out of you, your tits bouncing...fuck..." I groan, my hand moving faster. "Tell me what you like".
"I like it when you...put my leg...over your arm" Bella pants. "And I like when you're...above me...so fucking hot" She whimpers, her eyes closing tightly.
I groan.
"You felt so good from behind...so fucking tight...and you're ass...urgh," I groan, my abs beginning to tighten with my impending orgasm that's currently licking its way up my spine.
"I want to see you" Bella suddenly moans and my eyes meet hers.
"You wanna see?" I pant.
She nods and the look of desire on her face makes any residual embarrassment non-existent. I let out a shuddering breath, slowing my pace and turning my phone so that I can prop it up next to me. At this angle, she can see my face but also down to the tops of my thighs, my dick very clearly in the frame.
"Urgh" Bella moans loudly and I groan, fisting my cock once more.
Bella's eyes stay trained on my cock and I feel my orgasm approaching once more, licking against my spine.
"I'm close," I tell her.
"Me too" She moans, her mouth hanging open, her eyes closing tightly.
We lie there, watching each other, our panting breaths coming through the phone. Suddenly, I realise I can hear a slight sound in the background and realise it's the sound of Bella touching herself.
"Oh fuck...I can hear you" I grunt.
Bella moans, her cheeks turning red.
"I want to see you too" I breathe, her eyes meeting mine.
She looks unsure but I persevere, needing to see her before I fall off the edge.
"Please...please baby...I need to see you" I beg.
I'm sure I sound pathetic but I'm so fucking close and I miss her so fucking much.
Bella bites her bottom lip before she nods, tilting the phone so that I can see.
"Urgh...fuck me" I groan.
I can see her legs are slightly spread, her finger rubbing quick circles over her clit, the wetness between her thighs. Bella moves the camera back to her face and the look in her eyes is enough to throw me over the edge.
"Fuck...cumming" I grunt before my back arches and my eyes slam closed as I cum hard all over my stomach.
I groan loudly, my head tilting back and my mouth dropping open as I fist myself furiously, feeling my entire body shudder with pleasure. I hear Bella moan loudly and force my eyes open to see her body snap forward, her orgasm hitting her hard. She bites her bottom lip as a high-pitched noise leaves her mouth, her body shaking and twitching with the force of her orgasm.
It's hands down the hottest thing I've ever seen.
I lie there, coming down from my high, watching Bella panting hard on her bed before her eyes flutter open.
"Holy shit" She giggles.
I chuckle before I look down at myself and survey the mess I've made.
"I er...just need to go clean up" I tell her.
"Okay" She giggles.
I awkwardly stand from the bed before waddling into the bathroom. I clean myself up before pulling my pants back up and tucking everything away. When I come back into the bedroom I lie back on the bed, not bothering to put my shirt back on.
"Are you okay?" I ask Bella.
"Yeah," She says quietly, giving me a little smile.
"Was er...was that okay?" I ask awkwardly.
She giggles and rolls her eyes.
"Yes Edward," She says.
"What?" I chuckle. "I just...wanted to know it was good for you".
"It was very good for me" She whispers, giving me a little grin.
"Yeah?" I smirk.
"Yeah" She nods.
We grin at each other and I feel completely relaxed. A few moments of silence pass before I speak again.
"I watched Beneath the Stones the other night," I tell her.
She looks at me surprised.
"Really?" She asks.
"Yeah. It was good" I smile.
"You don't have to say that," She says quietly.
"It's true. You really are talented" I tell her.
She gives me a small smile and a blush coats her cheeks.
"I'm sorry I didn't see the movie until now" I whisper.
Her eyes flash to mine and an emotion crosses her face but it's gone before I can place it.
"Why didn't you?" She asks.
It's a loaded question and one I'm not sure how to answer.
"I couldn't," I tell her honestly.
"You couldn't?" She frowns. "Angie said there was a group trip to go see it at the movie theatre."
"Yeah" I chuckle, "Yeah there was. I don't mean I couldn't see it physically, I mean...I couldn't stomach seeing you" I admit.
I glance up at her and see slight sadness in her eyes.
"I was scared it would hurt too much" I clarify. "I was scared that...all the feelings I felt for you would come back out and I'd have to bury them all again".
"And did you?" She asks, "Now that you've seen it?"
"I think those kinds of feelings resurfaced a while ago" I chuckle "But it was weird" I admit. "It was weird seeing you at that age but, it was nice to know that you achieved everything you wanted. That you became that star," I tell her.
She gives me a small smile before her eyes turn sad and she looks away.
"Do you still want it?" I ask. "To do what you do?"
She's quiet for a moment before she shrugs.
"I enjoy being a character, but I don't know if I'll act forever. I have other things I'm interested in too" She says.
"Like what?" I ask, genuinely interested.
She gives me a little smile before sighing.
"Maybe script writing?" She says.
"I can see that" I nod. "I think you'd be good at it."
"You've never read anything I've written" She points out with a laugh.
"So? I have an intuition for these things. Didn't I always say you would be a good actress?" I tease.
"Actor" She corrects, "But yeah...you did" She smiles.
I smile back at her.
"I booked a flight," She says.
"Oh yeah?" I ask, feeling excitement stab my stomach.
"End of October," She tells me.
"I'm counting the days" I whisper.