The Time I Got Down On One Knee
I'm panicking.
The worst thing is that the panic is completely self-inflicted and brought on by choice alone. I could not do it, could ignore it, could leave things as they are but instead, I'm putting myself in a position I never thought I'd be in.
I'm standing in a jewellers in one of the back streets of Seattle, staring at engagement rings. I swallow thickly, taking in all the sparkling diamonds and gems in front of me.
"What kind of thing was Sir looking for?" The elderly gentleman in front of me asks quietly.
"Sir doesn't know" I reply honestly.
He chuckles and I can't decide if it's a good thing or not to be laughed at by this wizened old man.
"You're not alone, Sir. Perhaps we could start with other jewellery she already owns?" He asks. "Is there a particular style that she likes?"
"Um..." I close my eyes, trying to think of the other jewellery Bella has but for the life of me, I draw a blank. Finally, I think about the ring I bought her before. "She has another ring. The band looks like leaves and there's a diamond in the centre." I tell him.
"Something quite feminine then?" He suggests.
"Maybe?" I reply, feeling myself start to sweat despite the cool temperature.
Uncharacteristically, snow is falling outside the small store window and it looks like we're going to be in for a white Christmas for the first time in years. The Christmas lights shine outside and I can hear seasonal music playing from somewhere but despite the festive atmosphere, all I can think about is all these fucking rings.
"One moment," The man says before disappearing into the back of the store.
I take a deep breath and run a hand through my hair, trying to get my heart under control. It's not like my being here is a surprise. I've been thinking about it for fucking months!
"Perhaps these?" He asks, returning with a velvet tray and a selection of rings.
I look at the rings in front of me. They're all beautiful but for some reason, they're not quite right.
"I don't know" I sigh, feeling ridiculous.
I glance around the store before my eyes land on one ring in the cabinet to the left.
"Can I see that one?" I ask.
"Certainly" The man nods before unlocking the cabinet and lifting the ring onto the tray in front of me.
It's beautiful with a large diamond in the centre, surrounded by a halo of smaller ones that cascade down the sides of the band. It shimmers under the store lights and I immediately know it's the right one.
"That one" I nod.
"Yes?" The elderly man smiles.
"Yes," I breathe.
"Excellent." He grins.
We discuss sizes and any engraving options I might want before I pay what I'm sure Bella would consider an excessive amount for the ring and arrange to collect it the following week.
As I leave the store I breathe in deep lungfuls of air, pulling my collar up higher around my neck to block out the cold, flurry of snow. As I make my way down the street to the cafe I arranged to meet Bella in, I can't help but smile a little.
I just bought a fucking engagement ring!
I feel my heart pound and my stomach flip-flop before I start to wonder how I'm going to keep this a secret for the next week. I'm just pondering how to ask her when I push the cafe door open and see Bella sitting at a table in the corner, her eyes on her phone.
I make my way towards her before sliding into the chair opposite.
"Hey" I smile.
"Hey" She grins. "How'd you get on?" She asks.
"Not too bad." I nod.
She knows I was shopping for her but obviously doesn't know what I've just ordered. I almost feel giddy. She gives me a little grin before raising one eyebrow at me.
"You gonna give me a clue?" She teases.
"No, I'm not" I laugh, feeling almost high from the revelation that I just bought an engagement ring!
"Well you look very pleased with yourself" She laughs.
"I am" I admit.
We both order coffee and cake and I try to focus on Bella talking about our plans for Christmas with my parents and her dad but I can't. I'm too swept up in the fact that I just bought an engagement ring. I'm a mixture of total excitement and complete terror.
"Are you listening to me?" Bella's voice breaks through the fog.
"Er..." I can't even lie. It's obvious I wasn't. "Sorry" I mumble sheepishly.
"What are you thinking about?" She asks, a gleam in her eye.
"Just about your gift. I'm pleased with it" I shrug. "I hope you are too".
I feel a twist of nerves in my gut but then she grins.
"I'm sure I'll love it." She whispers.
I hope so...
The next week passes painfully slowly but finally, on Friday night, I get a call from the jeweller saying that the ring is ready. When I get off work, I text Bella telling a little white lie that I have to see a few extra patients before heading home. Then, I catch a cab into town and head to the store to collect the ring.
"Ah, Sir, a pleasure to see you again," The elderly gentleman says when he sees me.
"You too" I smile.
"Would you like to see it?" He asks.
I nod, feeling my heart begin to beat faster. He carefully collects a velvet box from the back room before opening it to reveal the ring I chose. It's still as beautiful as I remember. He takes it out of the box and hands it to me to examine. It's perfect and the engraving I selected is just visible on the band at the back.
"It's perfect" I smile.
"Good" He nods.
I wait while he packages it up for me before I thank him and head back out of the store. I hail a taxi and slide into the backseat before I fly through the city, looking at the twinkling Christmas lights and shop windows.
When we arrive at my building, I climb out, hiding the bag in the pocket of my jacket before heading inside. When I unlock the front door I can hear Bella humming in the kitchen, soft music playing through the speakers.
"Hi!" I call out.
"Hey baby!" She calls back.
I head into the kitchen and see her standing by the stove, stirring a pot.
"How was your day?" She asks, giving me a smile.
Amazing.
"It was good" I nod.
"Did you get your patients done?" She asks.
"Yeah, just a few stragglers" I smile.
She grins before turning back to the stove.
"What you making?" I ask.
"Sweet potato and beef stew" She says.
"Mmm sounds good" I smile. "I'm just going to change."
She nods before I disappear into the bedroom. I push the door half-closed before shrugging out of my coat. I quietly remove the bag from the pocket before opening the closet and stuffing it right at the back of the top shelf behind our out-of-season clothes, deciding there's no reason Bella would go up there.
I quickly change out of my clothes, tugging on some sweats and a hoodie before heading back into the kitchen. Bella is just dishing up.
"This smells amazing" I smile.
"Thanks. It's that recipe I found online" She tells me as I take a seat opposite her.
As she potters around the kitchen I watch her for a minute. I really do fucking love her. I can't believe I'm going to ask her to marry me.
"You okay?" She asks, her eyes meeting mine.
"Yeah, just waiting for you" I nod, swallowing the nerves down.
She smiles before sitting opposite me and tucking into her food. We eat in comfortable silence for a minute before I look up at her.
"I wondered if you wanted to go out for dinner over the weekend" I suggest.
"Yeah," She says, looking surprised. "That would be nice. What's the occasion?" She asks.
"Nothing. I just thought it would be nice to spend the evening together. I've been working late and then in a couple of days we'll be with our families, it would be nice to just be with you" I shrug, trying to act casual.
"Yeah, that would be nice" She grins. "Where were you thinking?"
"I may have already booked somewhere" I chuckle.
"Oh, you just assumed I would say yes?" She laughs.
"I never assume" I wink.
She rolls her eyes at me and laughs.
"Sounds like a date" She grins.
The next day my plan springs into action. I manage to convince Bella that we ran out of milk and eggs, sending her to the store while I receive a rather enormous florist delivery, hiding my purchases in the guest bedroom.
I try to keep myself and Bella busy for the day, going for a walk around the city, looking at the Christmas displays before we return home to get ready for our date. The entire time I'm showering, shaving and getting changed, I can feel my heart pounding, my head swimming and my palms sweating. I try to ignore it and act casual but I can see Bella glancing at me every now and again.
While Bella uses the bathroom, I check that the ring is still where I left it before I head into the living room to wait. While I wait for Bella I stare at my reflection in the window. I'm wearing tailored slacks, a white button-down shirt and a blazer, having tried to make a bit of an effort this evening.
I turn when I hear heels on the hardwood floor and see Bella walk into the room. She looks beautiful, dressed in a deep red dress, her long hair curled down her back.
"Wow" I smile.
"You like?" She grins, turning in front of me.
"I love" I nod.
She giggles before walking over to me.
"You scrub up pretty good yourself" She teases, giving me a soft kiss.
"You ready to go?" I ask.
She nods before I help her into her coat and grab my own. We head out of the apartment, locking up behind us before making our way down to the lobby. I hail a cab before opening the door for Bella and waiting for her to slide in. I climb in behind her before giving the driver the address.
"Nuova Luna?" She smiles.
"I thought we should go back. We haven't been there since our first date" I grin.
We head through the city before pulling up outside the restaurant. I climb out, taking Bella's hand in mine before we head inside.
"Good evening, do you have a reservation?" The hostess asks.
"Yes, table for two in the name of Cullen" I reply.
She nods before showing us to a table by the window. I take Bella's coat before pulling her chair out and helping her in. I take the seat opposite her, giving her a warm smile.
"It's funny being back here" She laughs. "It seems like yesterday and at the same time a lifetime ago".
"I know." I chuckle.
"Do you know what you're having?" She asks, reading the menu.
"The mushroom ravioli I think. You?" I ask.
"I think I'll have the crab linguine" She smiles.
When the waitress arrives we order our food and a bottle of wine before I take Bella's hand in mine. I rub my thumb along the back of her knuckle, trying to imagine a ring sitting there in the very near future..
"So, are you excited for Christmas?" She asks me and the question makes me smile.
"Yeah I am" I admit. "Are you?"
"Yeah. I'm excited for you to have your present" She giggles.
I chuckle with her and feel my stomach flip flop at the thought of hers. A few moments later the waitress returns with our bottle of wine and pours two glasses before disappearing again.
"Cheers," I whisper.
Bella smiles before clinking her glass with mine and taking a sip of the amber liquid. We talk for a while about everything and nothing and I desperately try to remain calm but I can't help fiddling with the stem of my glass and then my silverware.
Eventually, our food arrives and thankfully my hands and mouth are fully occupied.
"Are you okay baby?" Bella asks quietly.
"Yeah I'm good" I smile.
"You seem a little antsy" She whispers.
"No I'm fine" I lie. "I just...I kinda want to get you home" I tease.
It's not a lie, I do want to get her home but not for the reason she thinks.
"Already?" She laughs.
"You shouldn't have worn that dress" I wink.
This seems to placate her and she smiles turning back to her meal. We eat our food, talking about our friends and plans for Christmas before we split a brownie dessert, just like the first time.
Once we've finished our meals and bottle of wine, I pay the bill and take Bella's hand leading her back out onto the street. I hail a cab before giving the driver our address and settle back in my seat.
"That was a lovely dinner. Thank you" Bella whispers.
"It was my pleasure" I grin, giving her a soft kiss.
As we get closer to home, I feel my heart begin to pound and my palms begin to sweat. I try to ignore it and focus on my breathing, not wanting Bella to notice. Thankfully, before too long we're pulling up outside our building and climbing out of the cab.
The journey up to the apartment is the most agonizing of my life and it feels like I'm walking through treacle. My hands shake a little as I slip the key into the lock before pushing open the door.
"Want a coffee?" I ask as we walk into the kitchen.
"Love one but I've got to go to the bathroom" Bella laughs before running through the apartment, her heels clicking on the floor.
I chuckle a little, waiting to hear the bathroom door close before darting into the bedroom. I quickly grab the bag I hid on the top shelf of the closet before grabbing the box and sticking it into my pocket. I then make my way into the guest room, grabbing the bouquets I ordered and placing them in the living room, lighting a couple of candles before I hear Bella open the bathroom door.
Holy fuck. This is it.
"Thank god for that!" She laughs, walking into the kitchen.
Suddenly, it's like time slows. I see her round the corner into the living room before she comes to a halt, staring at the scene with wide eyes. The room is bathed in warm light from the candles I lit. There are bouquets of roses on every surface and I'm stood in the centre, my hand firmly in my pocket.
"What's all this?" She breathes, her eyes meeting mine.
She knows. She must do.
"This is all for you" I reply, my voice shaking slightly.
"Why?" She whispers, her eyes shining into mine.
"I want to tell you..." I swallow, trying to get some moisture into my mouth.
"Tell me what?" She asks, her breathing becoming elevated.
"I love you" I breathe. "I've always loved you, in some way or other, it just took me a while to realise how much. I...I love living with you, love coming home to you and waking up with you and I want to do that...always" I ramble.
My eyes flash to hers and they stare back, wide-eyed.
"What I mean is..." I swallow again before taking a few steps toward her and slowly dropping to one knee. "What I mean is I want to be with you forever," I whisper.
I pull my hand out of my pocket, the small velvet box branding my palm as I hold it with shaky hands. I watch Bella's eyes drop to the box before they widen slightly and she sucks in a shuddering breath.
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to tell you I love you every day and...and I want to build a life with you, a family with you" I continue, feeling like I might be sick at any minute.
Bella's eyes flash back up to mine and they're filled with unshed tears.
"Bella Swan...will you marry me?" I ask.
There's a beat of silence but the sound of my heart is so loud I'm sure the entire city must be able to hear it.
"Yes" She whispers.
It's so quiet I'm not sure I heard her right.
"What?" I whisper.
"Yes." She repeats. "Yes, I'll marry you".
I stare at her, unable to take in that she's just said yes, that I just asked her and she said yes.
"Really?" I laugh.
"Yes" She giggles, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Yes, yes, yes, yes!".
I laugh loudly before standing and slamming my mouth to hers, feeling her tears wet my cheeks. We kiss awkwardly, unable to stop our smiles and laughter before I pull back and open the box with shaky fingers.
"Oh my god," She squeaks.
"Do you like it?" I ask.
"It's beautiful" She grins, wiping her fingers under her eyes.
"Do you want to do it or me?" I ask.
"You do it" She smiles.
I carefully take the ring from the box before slipping it onto her finger. It fits perfectly. Our eyes meet and then she's laughing, really laughing.
"Oh my god! We're engaged!" She squeals and for the first time she sounds like Alice.
"I know!" I laugh with her.
"We're gonna get married!" She cries, jumping up and down.
"I know!" I repeat.
"We need to tell everyone!" She suddenly gasps.
"I know!" I chuckle.
"Can...can we keep it a secret? Just for the next couple of days? I want to tell everyone in person and I kinda want to just celebrate with you for now" She whispers. "Maybe we could throw a dinner for everyone. Invite your parents and my Dad and the guys..." She rambles.
"That sounds perfect" I grin.
She smiles back at me before looking down at the ring on her finger, watching it sparkle in the dark.
"I love you" She giggles.
"I love you too" I grin.
Suddenly her mouth slams into mine and her hands are in my hair and she's everywhere.
"Make love to me" She whispers, giggling into my mouth.
I nod, chuckling a little, before sliding my hands under her ass and lifting her into the air. She wraps her legs around my hips before I stride into the bedroom, our mouths never parting and drop her gently to the mattress.
I break the kiss, my hands shoving my jacket from my shoulders and pulling it off my arms. I drop it to the floor before moving on top of Bella, my mouth going to her neck. She moans as I suck the sensitive skin behind her ear and kiss my way to her collarbone.
"Zip?" I mumble against her skin.
"Side" She breathes, her head tilting to give me more room.
I slide my hands up her sides until I feel the small metal clasp beneath my fingers. I drag it down before pulling the fabric from her shoulders until it bunches around her waist.
I kiss my way further down her body until I reach her tits, kissing across the swell of each breast. Bella moans before I slide my hands under her back and pop the clasp of her bra with a twist of my wrist.
I yank the fabric away from her chest, fusing my mouth to her nipple and making her moan in pleasure. I feel her hands go to the buttons of my shirt, popping each through the hole before I move away from her, pushing it from my shoulders.
My breathing becomes laboured as I shuffle down the bed, dragging her dress over her ass and off her legs, leaving her in just her panties. We grin at each other before Bella suddenly sits up, her hands flying the button of my pants and popping it open, dragging the zipper down and pushing them off as far as she can reach. I lift my legs, kicking my pants off before falling back on top of her.
My mouth meets hers and it's like we can't get close enough. I kiss her for all I'm worth, still reeling off the fact that she said yes and trying desperately to pour all the emotions into the kiss. Bella's hands are everywhere, moving from my back to my shoulders and down my chest to rest on the top of my boxers. I groan when she begins to palm me through the fabric.
"Lift up" I breathe, pulling her panties over her ass and down her legs before throwing them behind me.
She starts to pull me back on top of her. Bella gives me a little smile as I line myself up with her entrance. I grin back at her before slowly pushing into her, both of her moaning at the feeling.
"Fuck...you feel so good" I whisper, staying completely still and kissing her softly.
"I love you" She whimpers.
"I love you too" I reply before starting a slow rhythm.
I take my time, keeping my pace steady and watching as Bella's face contorts with pleasure.
"Fuck...faster...please" She begs, her legs coming to wrap around my hips, pulling me closer.
"No...I want to make love to my fiancee" I pant.
Bella moans but I see a small smile on her face as I take her hands in mine, pinning them on either side of her head. Her back arches as I continue to move over her at a steady pace.
After a while, we're both sweating and panting and moaning and groaning.
"Fuck...I need...I need" Bella whimpers, her fingers squeezing mine.
I can feel the band of the engagement ring dig into my finger and the thought makes the tingle of my orgasm creep up the base of my spine.
"I know baby...I know..." I grunt.
I pick up the pace a little and hear Bella moan loudly, her eyes fluttering closed and her back arching as I find that magic spot inside of her.
"Unwrap your legs" I pant.
Her eyes open but she does as I ask, giving me a soft kiss in the process.
"Now spread them...a little wider" I grunt.
I feel her legs spread, letting me sink a little deeper than before. I watch as her eyes go wide and then her mouth drops open in a silent groan.
"Oh my god" She gasps, her eyes fluttering.
"That's it" I groan, feeling her begin to flutter around my cock.
I thrust a little harder, a little faster until Bella's moans have become unchecked and loud. I look down at her face, her eyes squeezed closed, her mouth open in a silent scream, her neck extended. She's never looked so beautiful.
"Fuck...I love you...more than fucking anything" I groan, my head dropping to her shoulder.
Bella moans in reply before I reach down with one hand and rub quick circles over her clit.
"Fuck!" She squeals out before her body spasms beneath mine as she cums hard.
The feeling drags me over the edge and I groan loudly, cumming hard and shuddering above her. My vision goes black and my hearing goes muffled before I finally come down from my high.
I pant heavily into the crook of her neck before I eventually manage to lift up onto my forearms. I look down at Bella and her eyes flutter open before she gives me a small smile.
"Holy shit fiance" She giggles, "What was the spread leg move?"
"Just something I'd heard about" I shrug, giving her a grin.
"You'd heard about it?" She laughs.
"I may have read it," I mumble.
"Where?" She laughs.
"Remember when I went to the dentist?" I mutter, kissing along her neck and trying to distract her.
"Yes..." She says.
"There was a magazine there" I shrug.
"You been reading sex tips, Mr Cullen?" She laughs at me.
"Are you complaining, future Mrs Cullen?" I ask, my eyes meeting hers.
A look crosses her eyes before she giggles again.
"I can't believe you're going to be my husband" She whispers.
"I can't believe you're going to be my wife" I grin.
"I love the sound of that," She says.
"Me too" I grin.
"I love you" She whispers.
"I love you more" I reply.
The next couple of days pass in a haze of excitement and disbelief. I still can't get my head around the fact that I proposed and that Bella said yes.
We decide to organise a dinner with our friends and family before we head to my parent's house for Christmas. I'm excited to tell everyone, especially my parents. I'm bracing myself for my mother to cry with euphoria.
"Did you put the champagne in the fridge?" Bella asks as she walks out of the bedroom, putting her earrings in.
"Yep and the lasagna is in the oven, but it's turned off," I tell her.
"Perfect" She grins. "Thank you, future husband".
I chuckle, feeling my heart soar at those words.
"You're welcome, future wife" I reply and she beams at me.
"Right, how are we going to tell them?" She asks.
"I thought we'd just wait till everyone was here and then make a toast or something" I shrug.
"Shall I take the ring off until everyone is here?" She asks.
"Sure" I smile.
She grins before running back into the bedroom to hide the ring. I chuckle at her excitement before I hear a knock on the front door.
"Oh my god!" She squeaks and I laugh again.
"I'll get it!" I tell her.
I walk over to the door and open it revealing Rose and Emmett.
"Hey" I smile.
"Hey" Rose smiles, giving me a hug. "Merry almost Christmas!".
"Merry almost Christmas" I chuckle.
I give Emmett a slap on the back before following them into the kitchen where Bella stands, smiling at them both.
"Wow, nice dress" Rose smiles when she sees her.
Bella does look beautiful in a midnight blue, sleeveless dress. But then, I think she always looks beautiful. I can't believe she's going to be my wife!
"Thanks" She grins. "You don't look too bad yourself".
While they're greeting each other, another knock sounds and I run to answer it. In the hallway stand my parents and Bella's dad.
"Evening son" Dad smiles.
"Hi Dad" I chuckle, giving him a tight hug.
"Merry Christmas honey" Mom smiles, giving me a squeeze.
"Edward" The Chief nods, shaking my hand firmly.
"Come in, come in" I smile.
They all make their way into the kitchen, saying hello to Bella, Rose and Emmett. I'm just about to close the door when I hear the lift sound and stick my head into the hallway seeing Jasper and Alice appear. They give me a big smile.
"What's up, Cullen?" Alice teases.
"Not much, Brandon" I reply making her laugh.
"Come in" I tilt my head, following them into the kitchen.
I grin at Bella when my eyes find hers. The room is filled with chatter and laughter before I start asking what everyone would like to drink. A chorus of wine and beer floats around the room and I busy myself getting glasses and bottles out.
Finally, when everyone has a drink I pull Bella to my side and kiss the top of her head.
"When do you want to do it?" I whisper in her ear.
"I think we'll know when the moment is right" She smiles.
We all talk for a while, discussing Christmas plans and New Year celebrations before Dad's voice rings out.
"So as lovely as this is, why the dinner plans?" He asks.
The room quietens down a bit and Bella glances at me.
"Be right back" She whispers.
I chuckle before she disappears into our room to grab the ring.
"Can't we just want to see all our favourite people?" I ask, buying us a little bit of time.
Bella comes back into the room, her hands behind her back and gives me a little grin.
This is it!
"Actually, there is a reason we asked you all to come over" I reply seriously and see a couple of glances go around the room, a few looking concerned.
"Bella and I..." I trail off, feeling my heart pound and my hands shake a little. I feel her slide her hand into mine, giving it a squeeze. "We're engaged!" I beam.
There's a beat of silence before all the girls scream and the guys cheer.
"OH MY GOD!" Alice squeals before throwing herself at Bella.
Bella laughs loudly, jumping up and down as Rose and my mom join them. I'm suddenly surrounded by my Dad, Charlie, Emmett and Jasper all slapping me on the back and congratulating me.
"I'm so happy for you" Mom sobs, wrapping her arms around me and making me laugh.
"Come on Mom, it's supposed to be a good thing" I tease.
"It's such a good thing" She cries.
"Let me see the ring!" Rose cries, grabbing Bella's hand.
"Oh my god, it's beautiful" Mom cries again and I can't help but laugh.
"The boy did good" Alice smiles before giving me a tight hug.
"Come on, there's champagne in the fridge," I tell them all.
Cheers ring out around the room again as I grab the couple of bottles we hid and pull the cork with a satisfying pop. I pour our glasses before handing them out, taking mine and Bella's.
"How did he propose?" Mom asks Bella.
"It was perfect. We went to dinner and then he asked me in the living room" She laughs.
"Did you expect it?" Alice asks.
"Not at all. I had no idea" Bella insists.
"So Edward, what does it feel like to be engaged?" Dad chuckles.
"Weird" I admit. "But I'm very happy" I beam at Bella.
She laughs before the room fills with chatter, wedding questions, laughter and more tears. I look around at all the ones I love the most before my eyes fall on Bella. She looks up at me and smiles.
"I love you" I whisper.
"I love you more" She grins.
Not likely.