Hey.
I don't tend to do author's notes at the start of a chapter, and I don't plan on making this a trend, but I wanted to apologize cuz this chapter is really late. It was supposed to be out last month, but for some reason the chapter kept kicking my ass.
Also, I guess I wanted to just leave a sort of warning, cuz the middle section of this one is a bit weird, and writing it was so hard for some reason.
Uh, that's all I needed to say at the start. Enjoy.
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"Are you okay...?" Yukari asked, unsure of what to do, as she stared at Kotone Shiomi lying on the floor, groaning and acting like she had just been run over.
"I might be dying," was the redhead's response. After somehow managing to not crash the monorail the previous night, and barely making it to her bed before her body gave up on her, she had woken up to a new flood of memories which left her feeling like someone had tried to rip the insides of her brain apart. Thankfully Yukari had noticed she hadn't left her room and came looking for her; otherwise Kotone might have just surrendered and gone back to sleep in that same position she was found in.
"Do you want help...?"
"That would be... nice..." Kotone groaned, stretching her hand to take Yukari's. The auburn haired girl groaned, pulling her to her feet and almost falling back in the process.
Yukari took a moment to breathe — Kotone was surprisingly heavy — before voicing her question, "What happened?"
"...massive headache," the redhead mumbled.
"Did you use too much power yesterday?"
"Nah, I don't think so..." Kotone leaned back, scratching the back of her neck in annoyance and falling down onto her bed, "I think my head just hates me."
Yukari could not keep herself from staring at the redhead with concern, something that Kotone was far from being fond of, as was apparent by her unwillingness to tell anyone about these sorts of things. "Is this like the other day with Hasegawa-san...?" she dared ask. She wasn't expecting an honest answer, after all her classmate had proven to be quite stubborn, and was surprised when she actually received an explanation of sorts.
"Sorta. I've been having these for a while now. They seem to intensify after the full moon," Kotone voiced her thoughts, carefully choosing her words; she couldn't give away the fact that her headaches came from her memories coming back to her. That would mean opening a can of worms she was sure Yukari and the other members of S.E.E.S wouldn't take very well to. "It's fine, though, don't worry. Really, it's probably just stress." That wasn't a lie in its entirety; Kotone had been feeling stressed, truly, though that was because of the headaches and not the other way around.
Yukari parted her lips, wanting to say something, but all she could muster was sigh. "Are you sure?" she asked, hoping a confirmation would ease her mind — part of her wondered why Kotone's well-being mattered so much to her. They hadn't known each other for that long, yet she couldn't bear to see Kotone hurting like this; and it was obvious she wasn't feeling well. Even if her mask was hard to see through most of the time, it would be obvious to anyone who saw her lying on the floor the way she had when Yukari entered the room. That look on her face...
Once Kotone had, against all odds, managed to convince Yukari that she was okay and that she only needed to rest for a bit, she headed down to the bathroom to fulfill the one mission Minako had entrusted to her before they went to sleep the previous night.
"I'll make sure to stay in the Velvet Room until you're done, so you better take a proper shower this time around," she had said, after convincing Kotone she needed a real shower, and true to her word, Minako was nowhere to be found once Kotone woke up that morning — though there was really only one place she could have been found in, anyway. — Kotone couldn't bring herself to deny her this request, because, first, she had been too tired to start a discussion, and second, because she knew Minako was right; Kotone had done the bare minimum the previous times, partly because Minako's presence in the back of her mind made her too self-conscious when actually touching anything in order to clean herself, partly due to feeling far too uncomfortable doing anything to her current body.
"You're free to do whatever you feel like, while you're at it—"
Kotone shook her head, trying not to think about what Minako meant when she said that, as her face grew warm. "...I'm not gonna do anything like that..." she muttered to herself, partially in an attempt to reassure herself she wouldn't be doing anything... indecent.
The lack of Minako's voice in her head, made even more noticeable once she took out her headphones in order to undress without them getting in the way, was both strangely relieving and also a tad terrifying in Kotone's eyes. While that meant Kotone could just stay silent and relax without worrying her, that also meant that, for the first time since she first spoke to her 'mind roommate', Kotone was alone with thoughts.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she allowed the water to start falling down on her, jumping back in response to how cold it was; if she hadn't been fully awake before, she definitely was now. She made sure to change the temperature before stepping back under the shower. As the hot water began to overpower the cold, she couldn't help but allow a moan of sorts to escape from her lips. The warmth on her skin let her relax her muscles, her shoulders falling as she felt the tension being washed away. "This is really nice..." she muttered, feeling slightly flustered. She brought her hands to the back of her head and began washing her hair. If her memory didn't fail her, though it might very well do that, she used to have long hair before her... his death. — she shook her head, not wanting to dwell on that memory — His hair wasn't quite as long as it was now, but it was long enough that knowing how to best deal with hers as it was now came as second nature to Kotone.
As she took care of her hair, she thought back to the memories that flooded her mind earlier in the morning and caused her to fall to the floor. One of them stood out from the rest, a strange, warm feeling spreading from her chest when she focused on it; the memory of a blonde girl with striking blue eyes. She was... in a beach, Kotone closed her eyes shut, forcing herself to make out the details, though she couldn't remember much more than that, no matter how much she tried. She sighed, annoyed but not surprised. Those memories will come back eventually, she told herself.
Kotone took a moment to recompose herself, fight back the feeling of dread scratching her brain, and moved her hands to other areas of her body, once she believed her hair was fully taken care of. As she washed her legs and arms, she went through some of the other memories that had been returned to her, like she was going through an old diary or picture book. She didn't have much context for most of them, so it was more like catching bits and pieces of a movie or show on television—only that those bits and pieces were of her life. Some were things she expected to see, memories of Inaba, of her sister—Maya, and such, while others took her by surprise. They were memories of Iwatodai, Gekkoukan, Port Island, and... memories of the people she had met in the past few months, of doing things she hadn't done; — not yet, not in this life, at least — practicing kendo with Makoto, hanging out in Paulownia mall with Yuko, a girl Kotone had met after volleyball practice, eating takoyaki at the strip mall with... Mitsuru? "Now that's unexpected," Kotone chuckled at the memory.
Kotone's spirits were slowly lifted by the pleasant memories she recovered, and the discomfort she had felt at the start of her shower was mostly gone. The red never truly left Kotone's cheeks as she moved to clean areas that required more care, but she no longer felt like she was doing something wrong; Minako said it was fine. I just gotta be careful... As her hands made contact with her chest, an "Oh" left Kotone's lips. It wasn't exactly what she expected, but it wasn't unpleasant at all — in fact, though, Kotone would never admit it, she enjoyed the feeling a little too much. She wasn't sure how long she spent just... washing herself—yes, that's what she was doing, not something indecent like Minako implied she would, definitely not — but it was probably way more than was actually needed.
"Now all that's left is..." Kotone let out a sound that seemed like a strange mix of a sigh and a groan, a sound she didn't even know a human could make, as she looked down. In that moment, she vowed to make sure Minako would never hear about what happened in that bathroom.
"Honey, I'm home!" Kotone's voice echoed in the Velvet Room as she entered it from reality.
"Welcome back," Elizabeth smiled, taking her eyes off of her brother and Minako, who were playing some card game on the floor, to greet the redhead.
"Did Minako give you too much of a headache while I wasn't here?" Kotone giggled, getting a reaction from her mind companion.
"Hey! I'm right here, you know?"
"Yup," Kotone sat down by Minako, watching with mild interest as she just barely beat Theodore and being subsequently taken off guard and startled as her fellow redhead shouted Uno with all her might.
"I told you I'd beat you this time!" Minako gloated, dramatically pointing at him.
"It seems your previous victory was just beginner's luck, after all, Theo." Elizabeth shook her head, a hint of smugness in her voice. "I suppose I'll just have to step up my game, as they say, next time so that you don't bring shame to our master."
"Oh yeah, Elizabeth," Kotone turned to the attendant, with slight curiosity, and asked the question that was on her mind, "Why weren't you playing? This seems like the kind of thing you'd enjoy."
"Well, she played the first round with us, but—"
"But nothing, Theo," she interrupted her brother, crossing her arms, "I simply went back to my post in case Makoto, or Kotone here, came by and needed my services."
"Oh, I see." Theodore seemed to be genuinely in awe of his sister, seemingly not seeing through her very obvious excuse. Kotone couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
"How dare you imply that I would stop playing just because I lost," she huffed, turning away from her brother.
As Theo began apologizing profusely to his sister, Kotone lightly tapped Minako's shoulder. "I think these two are gonna be at it for a while," she said, standing up and offering her hand to help her do the same, "Wanna head back?" Minako nodded in response, and the two left the siblings to their antics.
"Say, are all siblings like that?" Minako asked, once she got herself settled back into the back of Kotone's mind — though she had no other physical body, and she certainly wasn't a ghost, Kotone could swear she could almost see the girl floating next to her as she posed her question.
"Hm? Not all, why?"
"Oh, well, I'm an only child so I wouldn't know, but I did always want to have a brother. You mentioned a big sis before, so I was wondering..." there was a hint of caution in her voice as she mused if she actually should proceed with the topic, "Were you and your sister like Theo and Liz?"
"Sometimes, I guess, but not at their level, no. Maya-nee was way older than me, and... she was the one taking care of me, so I guess we couldn't just goof off all the time."
"Oh, I'm sorry..."
"Why? It's not a touchy subject, don't worry. Even if a lot of my memories of my time with her are messed up or just missing," Kotone reassured her, a smile forming on her face.
"You think if I—"
"Makoto?" Minako's question was interrupted as Kotone noticed her blue-haired teammate sitting by the station alongside a teal haired girl she hadn't seen before; the girl seemed to be about their age, but was significantly shorter than Makoto. What are they talking about...? she wondered, slowly approaching the two, who had yet to notice her.
"You didn't have to do that..." the girl said, her voice barely louder than a whisper.
"Maybe," Makoto mused, taking a bite out of his takoyaki, "But I wanted to..." he paused for a moment, wondering if he should just leave it at that and mind his own business, but some part of him, the one that believed it was worth it, that he should care, — a part that had been growing stronger since he arrived in Iwatodai, a part he wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to embrace — ushered him to do something. "Hey..."
"Yes?" The girl looked up at him, her gray eyes reflecting the red late afternoon light.
"You shouldn't let those girls treat you like that."
Both the girl and Kotone — who had yet to actually speak up and made herself known — flinched at that. That phrase resonated with Kotone. It reminded her of... "Ah..." a noise escaped her lips, just barely loud enough for Makoto and the girl to hear. The two turned to face her.
"Kotone?"
Kotone forced herself to give them an awkward smile, a strange nervousness creeping up her spine, "H-Hey," she stuttered, struggling with her words, "I didn't mean to eavesdrop—"
"It's fine," Makoto interrupted the redhead, "Are you okay?
"Huh? Me...? I'm fine," Kotone managed to say, shaking off the discomfort that overcame her.
"You look a little shaken..." the teal haired girl spoke up, her voice still just barely louder than a whisper but full of care.
"It's just..." Kotone took a deep breath, scratching the back of her head and looking away, "What you just said to, uh..."
"My name's Fuuka—"
"̵̨͉̥̘̹̝̞͈͈͎͈͋̐̏̀ ̸̢̢̤͎̗̥̬̯̘̺̜̫̦̭̐͊͊͛͊̃̿͗̓̓̚∀̶̢̢͓͖̺͚͈̪͆̀͋̆͐͑̿̀̍͘̕͜ͅɯ̴̢̦̲̣̮̇̓̅̂̐̾̑̽̅̒͗̈͊͐͘ɐ̶̡͖̠̑̅̊̀ų̶̣̤͇̦̩͔̙͈̙̺̳̑̿̈͒̎̏͋̈́̀o̶͚̫͙̻̫̘̩͕͂̈́̈́͑̒͆̐̐͊̚̕-̸̛̖͍̝̙̲͓͍̹̈́̓͋͑͆̅͑͊̆͛̅̐̾͐k̵̪͖̣͇̅͆́̅̈́͝ǔ̵̙̩̲͙̩͓̳͎̝̭̳͉̫̤͂́͒́̀̀͊ͅņ̵̫͍͈̼̜̖̖̻̜͚͉̥̋͗̽̐̔̽̌!̴̨̭̟̝̥̰̏́͊̌͌̏͌͝͠"̵̰͇̑ ̶̢̥̯̜̜̭̹̳͔̠̙͔͎̗̿̌̔̀̎̋́̃͛̃̽̆͠͝͝ͅThe redhead felt something pounding inside her head, accompanied by loud noise, though it lasted for no longer than an instant.
"...Yamagishi Fuuka," the girl stood up to properly introduce herself, looking up at her, "And you're Shiomi Kotone, right? I've heard about you and seen you around school..."
Kotone nodded, "What you said to Fuuka... It's just..." she sighed, memories from her previous life flashing through her head, "My sister said something similar to me once..." she turned to face the girl, "Fuuka... it might not be my place to ask but... are you being bullied?"
"What?" Fuuka stepped back defensively, "I— Natsuki-chan and the others make fun of me sometimes, but I wouldn't call it bullying..."
"Of course you wouldn't..." Kotone didn't mean for that to sound like it did, but...
"No one's bullying me, sis..." the boy had said once. Back then, in her previous life, he couldn't accept it, he didn't want to believe it. Friends were just that way, right? It wasn't weird, they weren't doing it to be mean... right? If that's not how friends treated each other... Then did he even have any friends at school?
"Fuuka, I..." Kotone shook her head, trying to find the right words.
"Take your time," Makoto said, noticing the girl's turmoil. Fuuka nodded weakly.
"Sorry..." Kotone chuckled dryly, "I guess it's still a tough topic for me to talk about even now..."
"Kotone, you..."
"...Back when I was little, back home in Inaba, there was a group of kids who used to pick on me... it took me a while to even realize I was being bullied... and even longer to reach out for help," she stumbled with her words, the memories weighing on her chest, "I guess what I'm trying to say is—I'm not even sure that it is something you want to hear from a stranger like me but... you shouldn't let people just walk over you."
There was a moment of silence as the others absorbed Kotone's words, and the longer it went, the redder Kotone's face got. Maybe I shouldn't have just dumped all that on her... Kotone felt like running away — the little confidence she still had left rapidly vanishing — and she would have certainly done so if not for Fuuka suddenly pulling her into a hug.
"Thanks..." Fuuka muttered, taking Kotone off guard, "...for telling me all this."
Kotone awkwardly returned the hug, the red still on her face, "I just... I just don't want anyone to go through that kind of stuff..." After a couple of seconds, the two broke it off, both feeling flustered.
An awkward silence threatened to permeate the area, but was driven off by Makoto. The blue haired boy chuckled, receiving confused and surprised looks from both girls, "Damn, Kotone, another one?"
"A—What?!" Kotone stammered, Minako laughing inside her head.
"There was Kirijo-senpai in the very first week, and Hasegawa-san the other day—"
"Ah, shut up!" Kotone shouted, getting a couple of confused stares from the people passing by and only making Minako's laughter louder. "It's not like that. And there's nothing going on between me and Kirijo."
"Right... but you don't deny Hasegawa-san..."
"I only met Saori the other day, there's nothing between us."
"Yet."
"Shut up, Minako!"
"Alright, alright," Makoto laughed, "I'll lay off you."
Fuuka couldn't help but giggle, "You guys are really good friends, aren't you?" I'm jealous, was left unsaid, but understood by all present.
"I don't know about that..." Kotone crossed her arms, pouting.
Their laughter died down as the monorail arrived at the station, its doors opening loudly. "So, hey, uh..." Fuuka spoke up, "I need to head home now. Thank you, the two of you, for spending time and talking with me, as short as that might've been..."
"Don't worry about it," Makoto smiled — he'd been doing that way more the last few weeks than he was used to in his whole life.
Fuuka moved to enter the train, but stopped herself, turning back to look at Kotone, "Uh, Shiomi-chan..."
"Kotone," the redhead corrected.
"Kotone-chan, right, um... I know you said we're strangers, but I've had this feeling since we started talking... are you sure we haven't met before? I-I..." she stuttered, looking back and forth between them and the monorail, which was about to leave, "I get this weird feeling that I've known you for a while."
"Ah, ŵ̸̢̘͎̹̻͍͇ͅh̵̩̜̣͒͋a̶̢̛̩̦̖̫͕̹͈̒̄́̅̓͊͒͐̏ͅ-̶̻̗͖͚͉̣̤͈͎͍̟̊̎͒̉͘" noise blasted inside Kotone's brain once more, and she almost fell to the floor. Once again, it didn't last for longer than a second, and she was fine in an instant, "Uh, I have it, too..."
"Huh, that's—" The monorail's doors began to close, "Oh, sorry, let's talk more at school tomorrow, or something! I gotta go!" Fuuka barely managed to squeeze in, as the door closed shut behind her, and the train began moving, leaving Makoto and Kotone back in the station.
"Wait..." Minako spoke up after a moment of silence, "Wasn't that our train, too?"
Kotone sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, "...Minako."
"Yeah?"
"Not now, alright?"
"Right, sorry." Minako lowered her voice, and once again Kotone could swear she was able to see Minako shifting uncomfortably. Kotone shook her head, sitting down next to Makoto to wait for the next train.
"...no. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that. It's just..."
"Fuuka, right?" Kotone nodded slightly, looking down at her feet. "You guys met before?"
"I think so, yeah..."
"But you can't really remember, eh?"
"Of course. Just par for the course at this point."
"Right," Minako gave a weak chuckle, and the two remained in silence for the rest of the journey to the dorm.
Kotone couldn't help but feel a bit guilty for souring the mood, though Makoto and Minako would be quick to tell her she did no such thing if she spoke up about it. She fiddled with her mp3 player, and pressed play, allowing one of the new songs she had added to her playlist. The melody soothed her soul and the rocking of the wagon lulled her, and at some point Kotone's shoulders slumped and she fell asleep, her head resting on Makoto's shoulder.
•••••••••••••••••••••
Author's notes:
Hey. This late, I'm sorry. My goal is always to have at least one chapter released every month, but this one beat my ass. The shower scene was so hard to write without it feeling like a downer or a whole 'nother type of fic, but something in my head told me it was a necessary scene and I couldn't just scrap it. I hope it didn't make any of you uncomfortable. But, hey, looking at the bright side, Kotone probably smells a lot nicer now.
Anyways, Fuuka's here, yay! This messes a bit with the timeline of events as it happens in the game, but Kotone's existence's kind of already a big middle finger to the time and space, so what's a tiny change compared to that? Also, damn you Makoto Yuki for seemingly having a will of your own and leading interactions to places I didn't expect! I thought the scene of him teasing Kotone to break the tension was cute so I kept it, but I swear Kotone's not getting a harem if any of y'all thought that's what I was implying.
Another, other thing; if any of you aren't sure what exactly to picture when Kotone gets her sudden headaches, it's supposed to look like Cloud's from FF7 and FF7 Remake (go play them, if you haven't).
And lastly; the chapter's named after the song Kotone was listening at the end in the train. The was originally going to be "Pressure" by Billy Joel, since that's the song I was listening to while writing, but I desperately needed a chapter title and I like "Distant Dreamer" (and the most recent batch of Stone Ocean episodes dropped and they use that as the ending song), so that's that.
I'm sorry about how late this chapter is, and I'm hoping the next one doesn't take that long.