Chapter 6: Sadness/Depression

TW: SU#CID#

"Rei, can you hear me?" Ritsuko asked while Rei was inside of the Evangelion Unit-00 Entry Plug.

"Yes." Rei was always emotionless, no grin nor frown.

Maya began her usual test procedure, "Flooding LCL."

Rei always was uncomfortable in the LCL. Her skin was itchy, her senses were on fire. She winced a bit due to the pain, but she never complained. The blue and white evangelion was in its restraints, just fixed from the last time it had gone berserk. Rei leaned back in her seat, LCL bubbles floating to the top of the entry plug.

"A10 Connections Beginning, 1-750 checklist." In the command room, green lights began to flash, showing the evangelion being hooked up to Rei's senses. Ritsuko began to watch the threshold line get closer towards the green line. RItsuko began to grit her teeth. The last two times, the Evangelion had lost control and they had to wait for the power to run out.

"0.1, 0.05, 0.25" Maya announced, sweating underneath her NERV jacket. Rei's eyes began to bloodshot. She began to convulse, clenching her teeth. She couldn't open her eyes, she was stuck with her eyes closed. The only image she could make out were the other two eva pilots.

"Help." Rei whispered, passing out.

"All neural links are reversing! We are losing control of Eva-00!" Maya screamed, trying to shut down the Unit.

"We are shut out of the EVA! No commands are shutting it down!" Maya screamed, having deja vu of the last time this had happened.

Unit-00 had let out a bloodcurdling scream, slamming in a fit all around it. The restraint broke, letting the giant robot free and the evangelion had fallen to the floor. It jumped up, ramming into the wall. Glass started to fly across the command room. Maya was the closest, bracing with her arms, feeling a warm feeling on her torso.

"SHIT!" Maya screamed, looking at the reinforced glass shard in her abdomen. Ritsuko began to yell out, "Wait until the EVA is out of power!", "Release the Bakelite!" Maya complied, wincing as she typed on the keyboard for the MAGI to release the red liquid. The EVA has 5 seconds of power left, holding its left arm out.

"It's self-destructing!" Maya screamed, holding her stomach.

Ritsuko began to shout orders, "Evac! Now, everybody behind the blast shield doors!" Everybody began to comply, running out of the room, jerking to avoid the military-grade glass panels installed which were on the floor in large shards.

"Maya!" Ritsuko screamed, looking at the Lieutenant, sitting on the floor. She was spitting up blood, the glass pane hindering her ability to run.

"Forgive me. Senpai." Maya muttered, lying on the floor. To the horror of Ritsuko, the blast doors began to close, she couldn't save her.

"Brace!" She screamed, Maya hearing it muffled due to the blast shield doors. The evangelion exploded, with Rei inside of it, much to the dismay of all the scientists. Maya was the first to go, vaporized at the heat and blast radius of Unit-00. Rei was next, the entry plug giving way as she exploded, still unconscious and ignorant at the emergency. The room was engulfed in a field of light, all flammable objects setting on fire. Ritsuko slammed the glass box surrounding a bright-red button, her hand bleeding from the glass shards. She pushed the button, walking the blast doors slowly whirring as the 120 pounds were moved. Her eyes widened and bile began to build up. The evangelion was in rubble, a pile of ash, melted blue metal all around the room. All of the fabric on the chairs was in a flame.

Maya was there, in the middle of the floor. She had ash on her face, her eyes closed. Her clothes were burning, it was a bloody mess. Ritsuko ran up to her, patting out the fire. She stared at the other technicians, barking at them with tears in her eyes.

"Deal with that evangelion, I'll deal with her!" Ritsuko pushed past everybody. She ran towards the medical ward, trying to save her co-worker, and student. She dropped halfway through, crying. It was too late for Maya, she had no pulse. She kneeled over, Maya in her hands. The first time she had cried in years, she had tried to protect Maya, she had failed. All she could do was sit in the middle of the geo-front labyrinth, and bawl her eyes out.

Hyuga was at the front of the movements, looking at the rubble that was Unit-00. Rei was gone, the entry in a mess of melted metal and boiling LCL steam. He ordered a search and rescue team as well as all hands on deck. "Inform Major Katsuragi!" Hyuga screamed, beginning to try to salvage any computers from the destroyed experiment room.

—-

Misato Katsuragi was drunk, lying at the table where Asuka had found her. Her phone began to blare, Misato opening her eyes. It was an emergency, the Major drunkenly answering her phone.

"H-Hello?" Misato slurred, trying to stay awake. The news hit her hard, she stood up, the alcohol immediately not having an effect on her body. She ran over to Asuka's room, to wake her up. To find both pilots asleep.

"Wake up! The two of you!" Misato screamed, much to the dismay of the pilots.

"Misato! I just started to fall asleep." Asuka argued, trying to fall back asleep, Shinji was rubbing his face, trying to get a hold of the situation.

"We need you to pilot the Evas, there has been an accident at NERV." Misato yelled, Asuka trying her best to ignore her. Shinji moved up, listening to the Major, grabbing his lover, holding her on his back.

"Let go of me Shinji." She muttered, trying to fall asleep. Shinji grabbed his important items, running out the door with the Misato, nightfall had long set. It was still early in the morning. Misato practically threw Shinji in the car, they sped through the open highways of Tokyo-3. Shinji let Asuka off him, buckling her in, while the car was going 50+ mph. She slammed through the Geo-Front entrance, ignoring the security guard. She shook Asuka, waking her completely, getting both pilots out of the car. She threw them into the locker rooms, throwing spare plugsuits she had from the car.

"A good commander is always prepared." Misato muttered, running towards the entry to the entry plug.

With the evangelion units launched, they began going through the underground system big enough for the evas to fit in. It was designed and built by Ritsuko, giving the evas a good route in case of an angel that went underground. Misato moved to the room, stopping at a doctor's feet. She looked down, looking at the bawling doctor, holding Maya.

"I-, I couldn't save her." Ritsuko mumblled, hugging Maya. Misato kneeled over, hugging Ritsuko.

"It's going to be okay, deal with Maya." Misato whispered in the doctor's ear, walking off to the experiment site. Misato ran into the site of Hyuga, surprised. He turned around, signaling a type of tag-team, and running off to find more took over, looking down at the mess, two evangelions peeked through a latch on the floor.

"What happened!?" Shinji screamed, looking at a pile of scrap metal.

"Rei's Eva self-destructed after going berserk, she's… probably not alive." Misato said, tugging on her collar, knowing what Shinji knew. "Shinji, there's something I didn't tell you." Misato began to choke on her words. "Rei... she was your sister." It was only a couple weeks ago when Ritsuko destroyed the dummy plug system, with all the bodies of Rei. Shinji slammed his center console, grabbing the melted entry plug, placing it on the floor. Rei was gone, there was no part of her left. She broke down, Asuka peering into his entry plug from her Eva. The camera showed him bawling.

"Suits Wondergirl right." Asuka laughed, much to the dismay of the other workers. Shinji began to scream.

"You have to be kidding me! A human life was just lost and all you can say is, SUITS HER RIGHT? ASUKA, YOU GOTTA WORK WITH ME HERE!" Shinji screamed, a fit of tears. Asuka wasn't feeling emotion towards Rei, she hated her.

"You don't have any emotion for this? She just fucking died!" Shinji screamed, looking at the annoyed redhead through the camera.

"Shut up!" Asuka screamed, 'I'm fucking tired, tempered! We can talk in the morning. I couldn't even sleep because you kept moving around!" Shinji was too stunned to speak, everybody in NERV heard that. That they were together. But, even worse, she didn't care about Rei at all, in the slightest. He ignored her, doing the simple tasks that they wanted. They were only there to hold a couple of pieces of metal, the technicians did everything else. The whirring of drills and yelling workers made Shinji want to go home. He was already tired, he had the same nightmare twice. It was unbearable, his sleep was disrupted, over and over. He had somebody who he cared for, spit in his face. Somebody that meant something to him just died, and Misato was never home. He was lonely, once again.

Work was done, he moved out of the Eva, letting the teams deal with bringing them back. They had yellow caution tape around the entry plug, a worker opening it. There was a pile of puke next to the entry plug from the same worker. He waved his hand around his neck a couple of times before resuming his work. Asuka had gotten out of the plug, moving with Shinji to the changing rooms. Shinji was weeping, Asuka looked over to him, scoffed and moved away from him.

"Do you care about my feelings, Asuka?" Shinji asked, looking at his feet.

Asuka didn't reply, she was red. She looked at him for a second, glazing over his tears. She walked over to him, hugged him. She walked back to the other side, locked the door and changed out of her plug suit. Shinji did the same, wondering if Unit-00 can be repaired. It was uneventful after that. Misato had to stay, so both teens were escorted by Section-2. Section-2 waved them away, leaving the teens alone another night. Shinji went to his room, leaving Asuka alone.

"You don't want to sleep with me?" Asuka asked, Shinji ignored her, throwing himself on his bed with his SDAT. She shrugged it, a little hurt, knocking on his door.

"Shinji?" she asked, hearing a muttered and covered yell by Shinji. "GO AWAY!"

Asuka jolted away from Shinji's door, confused at the fact. She began to trudge to her room, sitting on her bed, and lying down. She tossed and turned, unable to sleep. She moved one more time, unable to find something comfortable. She moved over to Shinji's room, slowly tiptoeing towards the bed, moving under the covers next to Shinji. His eyes opened, and he jumped up.

"Asuka, what the hell!" Shinji screamed, looking at Asuka.

"Shinji, I can't sleep-" Asuka argued, looking at Shinji.

"Does it look like I care? You didn't care what I thought, why should I care about you! My fucking sister just died! All you can say is, that suits her right? " Shinji stomped out of his room. "Take my goddamn bed, you stole my sanity anyway.". He plopped on the couch, cold. Asuka looked out at him, her temper got the best of her.

"Fuck you! I don't need you, you're fucking useless. When have you done anything for me?!" Asuka screamed, Shinji ignoring her. Then she screamed again, "Go die!" Asuka in a fit of rage, slamming her door shut. Those words hit the boy. He began to cry, realizing that he just might have lost the person who meant the most to him. Both teens couldn't sleep. Both hurt each other, both didn't want to admit their mistakes. Shinji felt the same feeling of loneliness when his mother passed. When his father got rid of him. His efforts to save her, he just hurt her. Nobody wanted him anymore, he was alone. He began to cry harder, everything flashing in front of him. He ran over to the balcony, ignoring the freezing temperatures. It had begun to snow, landing on his head, turning his hair a deep white. He looked out from the 9th floor, it was a beautiful view. The lights of Tokyo-3, the capital of Japan. It felt unfamiliar to Shinji, despite living here for almost a year.

—-

Misato had sat down next to Ritsuko, looking at the blonde scientist, her leg was shaking. Misato had never seen Ritsuko nervous, crying. She was always so confident, this situation had broken her.

"Hey, let's get a drink." Misato offered, pulling a wad of cash from her wallet. Ritsuko looked at her, grabbing her arm.

"Hey, it's ok." Misato said, feeling a pain on her face. Ritsuko had slapped her, "It's not okay." Misato stood up, bringing Ritsuko up. They walked over towards the bar of the Geo-Front. Ritsuko couldn't speak, she had her head in her arms. She was tired of this, being the punching bag of Gendo. He didn't even say sorry for losing a friend. He ignored it, they were pawns. Pawns for a game. He disgusted her, the doctor wanted to quit, but she couldn't. That was asking to die.

—-

Asuka was in her room, stomach in pain. She didn't have an SDAT player, she grabbed her phone. She messaged Misato, asking her what was happening at work. Misato wasn't able to look at the message, she was dealing with more important matters. She walked out to use the bathroom, turning left to the bathroom. She opened the bathroom door, using it. She sat there, frozen in disgust at herself. It was her fault, she was sorry. 'No, I'm not.' She thought, getting up and washing her hands. He turned right. Her eyes widened, the balcony door was open. She stared at the couch, Shinji wasn't there. She ran towards Shinji's room, staring at a plain piece of paper. Next to the ruffled sheets they were under just 15 minutes before.

"I'm sorry, Asuka. Forgive me." The paper was marked by a pen. She ran to the balcony. Her teeth began to shiver, she looked up, ignoring the snow in front of her. Shinji was sitting on top of the balcony railing. Looking down, the boy began to stand past the railing on the inch of concrete. Asuka ran up to him, Shinji turned around, he shed a single tear. He jumped off the railing, the 9 stories below him began to get lower.

"No!" Asuka cried, grabbing his wrist, reaching over the railing. She put her leg on the railing. Shinji turned up to her, looking at Asuka's hair, it blew so peacefully in the wind.

"Why? Let me go." Shinji asked, emotionless. Asuka's tears melted snow in the air, turning it into more water. "I hurt you." He used his other free hand to pry off Asuka. She began to pull him up.

"Please." Shinji asked, trying to fall. Asuka pulled him up fully, overpowering him and throwing him over the railing. She was panting heavily, holding Shinji. He looked at her, confused.

"Why?" Shinji yelled, trying to pry Asuka off of him. "You hate me." Asuka grabbed him, "No." Asuka whispered in his ear, bringing her to his room. She sat him down, grabbing his head, looking at him.

"Talk to me." Asuka told him. She tried to paint a fake smile on her face, still terrified from the events that had taken place. Shinji broke down, still repeating the word why. He started,

"I just, I hurt you. I caused your injury. My SDAT player caused you to go to the emergency room. My family member just died. My past, the future. Everything." Shinji cried, looking away from Asuka.

"How'd I get to the hospital?" Asuka asked, trying to get some good out of him.

"I carried you over there. May-." He stopped, remembering the kind scientist. He wanted to go back to running away, shutting people out. Asuka put him down on the bed gently, covering him up. She had put a strong grip on him, sleeping next to him. Shinji blubbered more, trying to explain why he should have jumped. Asuka kissed him, keeping him quiet. Asuka was still quite annoyed, but she tried to keep her calm.

"Sleep well, idiot." Asuka told him, drifting to rest.

TO BE CONTINUED…