XXXXVI.
Cora taps her fingertips lightly against the table in front of her, knowing it isn't loud enough for anyone else to hear, but also knowing if she doesn't find something to keep her hands busy she is going to go crazy. She lifts her arm so she can check the time again, sure it must have progressed by more than a few minutes since she last checked. Cora lets out a quiet huff when she realises only two minutes have passed and the agonising wait is just getting too much to bear. It was like the countdown to launch day all over again and this meeting was dragging on as it always did.
She glances at the leaders that are sitting around the table, Tann talking about resources and the lead that they have on the Asari Ark that he wants them to chase up. Addison discusses the next outpost and section of those in stasis she is wanting to bring out. Cora hears Kesh arguing with them both, but right at the moment, she wasn't taking in their words at all. All she could concentrate on was the summersaults her stomach was currently doing that she was only a few minutes away from touching their Pathfinder, her Scott. She'd spent almost two weeks without him, and every minute had been worse than the previous.
"We need Scott and his team to find the Ark. That has to be our priority." Tann says and she notices he is raising his voice over the others. "Another Ark is another win for the Initiative. We gain resources and credibility with members." He nods confidently at them all.
"Scott has been following all the leads that we've had. We don't even know that there are survivors.." Kesh huffs quietly and Cora's attention is drawn to her. "Is it worth sending them out again before we are certain of the location?" Kesh adds; there had been a few survivors in the pods they'd recovered, so there was nothing to say that there weren't others on the Ark.
"Will Scott be well enough to even find out?" Foster Addison asks and Cora realises that all eyes are suddenly on her and they are waiting for her to respond to their question.
Cora clears her throat quietly to give herself a moment to respond, noticing that they are quiet and expecting her to speak in Scott's place, as his second, while he is still in the hospital. She glances at Liam at her side and then back to the leaders. Was he going to be well enough? Scott certainly believed he was ready to be discharged, but he'd come close to dying from the Ezo exposure that she'd subjected him to. What if he wasn't ready? Would they find someone else? He'd been struggling so much recently, would he even be able to get back to normal? She looks at Kesh, and then back to Addison and Tann that wait for her and knows she is already in their bad books for her breaking regulations to help Scott and that they won't give her any further grace. She was on her last warning and knew they were probably close to replacing her too. Although with the way she was currently feeling; would that be so bad?
"He will be well enough." Cora nods and notices they all seem to breathe a sigh of relief at her words. "He has been getting stronger every day.." She adds to try and give them some more reassurance.
"That's great news." Kesh replies and glances at the others.
Cora notices that they all now seem satisfied with her answer. But, she'd seen him suffer and it had been her fault. Was she failing him as his second? Cora knew that she was going to have to make a decision soon about her future with the Initiative and this was only making her feel like she couldn't carry on in this role. Giving up Scott wasn't an option, so maybe her stepping back would be good for them both. He needed a second that wasn't so attached to him.
"Tann, can we speak about my role.." Cora begins, trying to build up the courage to voice her concerns but then hears him interrupt her and that he is more focused on the issue of the Ark and Scott's discharge back to work.
"Are you certain he's good to go?" Tann asks so she fixes her eyes on him.
"Yes, he's being discharged right now." She says which seems to convince Tann who nods lightly and then turns to the others, continuing to have their argument about what they should do next.
Cora so wanted to find the Ark, wishing and hoping that their next move would finally send them to the Asari Ark and try and find Sarissa. They still didn't have the exact location, even after their information finding trips to EOS and then Veold. After following many dead ends and disappointments, she couldn't help but feel that they were on the cusp of finding them. Sarissa was one of the greatest Asari to ever live, and she knew that she would be able to help them and know what to do next. She couldn't help but feel if Scott hadn't been so unwell they would have been there and getting her aid by now. Cora believed they had everything they needed, but she could understand the leaders, and Scott's, frustration at all the dead ends. But, is Scott ready? The question keeps going through her mind. Is she putting her wonderful Scott at risk for her own wants to get to the Ark? Is he really ready to be out there? He'd come close to death and had he had enough time to recover?
"Would you mind if I was excused?" Cora asks and feels all eyes on her again. "I need to ensure all the correct documentation is completed for Pathfinder Ryder's discharge." She continues noticing that Addison nods lightly. She just wanted to see him, touch him, and kiss him as soon as she could, but they didn't need to know that.
"Of course.." Tann finally nods making her nod her thanks to the leaders and climb out of her chair. She gives Liam a small apologetic smile, knowing she is leaving him with the leaders. "Bring him to us once he's been discharged. We have a lot to discuss and prepare.." He adds making her glance at him.
"Surely he won't be ready to see us yet." Kesh laughs quietly and shakes her head, making Tann and Addison's attention turn to her. "Let him rest for a few days." She adds but Tann snorts lightly at this.
"He's had rest. We're running out of time. If he's well enough to be discharged.." Tann huffs and Addison can only nod in agreement, so Cora does too but is not convinced at all so she lowers her eyes to her hands on the table. "We've already wasted too much time." He continues making her sigh to herself. "If Scott isn't back where we need him.." Tann adds and Cora knows she doesn't want to hear his next words and they might include replacing him.
"I'll bring him here," Cora says as all eyes return to her and she nods again, she really didn't want Scott to be stuck in the hospital any longer and maybe this was a small price to pay for him to be with her. She could look out for him until he was fully well, couldn't she?
"Perfect." Tann nods.
"You owe me," Liam whispers as she pats him lightly on the shoulder.
Cora pushes her chair beneath the table and moves quickly towards the ramp that leads to the door of the Pathfinder HQ, lifting her arm to activate it and allowing her access to the rest of the station. She hears it close behind her as she begins briskly walking towards the Medical Centre where Scott has spent the majority of the last two weeks. The first few days were in complete isolation and then as a standard patient as he recovered. She'd not been allowed to visit him and they'd both been counting down the days until they could see each other, and today was the day.
"Good afternoon, Cora." Doctor Carlyle smiles lightly at her as she reaches the doors to the medical wing and notices that he is leaving. He gives her a small nod as he does.
"Harry," Cora replies with her own polite as she can nod, hoping that his pausing doesn't mean he is about to speak to her.
"Are you here for Scott?" Harry asks making her sigh lightly when she realises she isn't so lucky and that he is now looking at her as if he wants them to actually make conversation. "I assume Tann wants to see him." He says.
"I am, and he does." Cora nods trying to keep her voice even and her replies brief.
She hadn't had much dealing with Dr Carlyle since Alec's death, but part of her would never forgive him for the part he had to play at the end of her relationship with their former pathfinder. Now every time she saw Harry it reminded her of Alec and the hurt was still too fresh to want to bump into him too often.
"You're lucky he.." Harry begins but she can tell by his face where this is going and that she is sure he is about to comment on how Scott's illness had been her fault just like it was her fault for Alec. She didn't need him to tell her this, she already felt it in her heart and churning inside her.
"Harry, I don't have time for this." Cora sighs cutting him off and shaking her head lightly as she steps through the doors. She didn't need anyone else's opinions about what she'd done to Scott and how close she'd been to losing him.
"Cora." Lexi smiles at her and she looks up from her Omni as she hears her footsteps.
"Hi, Lexi," Cora replies returning her smile. "I've come to collect something that's mine.." She adds and notices Lexi laughs at her words and smiles again. "I hope he hasn't been too much trouble." Cora continues but her eyes leave the Asari when she starts looking around and wondering where Scott is.
"No more than usual," Lexi replies with a smile as she notices Cora looking for Scott. "He won't be long, they are just doing some last-minute discharge checks" She adds making Cora nod lightly. "You just missed Sara and Louisa, too." She continues.
"Oh really?" She asks feeling glad that his sister had come by to see him and that they were talking again, but not so glad that Louisa was still hanging around. She also knew that she wanted to keep him all to herself for a few hours this afternoon and evening.
"Cora.." She hears his voice and turns in the direction she's heard it.
"Scott.." Cora replies, feeling the smile stretching onto her face when she sees him and noticing he is the same. That smile that she'd fallen in love with the night they'd first met.
Cora wonders how long she has been staring at him when she realises that neither of them has immediately moved and that the gentle flutter in her chest has now turned into a strong thump of excitement when their eyes meet for the first time in what feels like forever. Without a screen between them, anyway. She moves towards him and notices he does too, the whole of the medical centre suddenly disappearing as she lets out a sob that she is more a cry of joy when he quickly closes the gap between them and they collide in the middle and she is finally back in his arms. Cora jumps into his arms just like she'd done on Habitat 7, wrapping her arms and legs around him tightly. She feels him spin them on the spot and that he holds her just as tightly.
She knew they'd reunited when they'd woken up in Andromeda, and that had felt exciting that they were back together. They'd also reunited on Habitat 7 when she'd seen his ship get destroyed, and that had felt wonderful. But, this felt different somehow and as if this time they weren't going to be separated again. He was alive and as much as her biotics had hurt him, they were together and nothing was going to change that.
"I'm so glad your here." Scott laughs as she feels him wrapping his arms around her so he can hold her up against him. "I missed you." He whispers as she feels him stroking her face and her hair before carefully lowering her to her feet. "Come here.." Scott grins and doesn't waste any time in pressing his lips against hers and drawing her against his body, feeling how desperate they both are to be touching every part they can
"I missed you and that.." She sighs against his mouth, knowing they are being watched by the medical staff and shouldn't really be kissing each other.
Cora forgets them and takes hold of his face too, running her fingers through his hair and returning his kiss. She feels him sliding his arms around her body so she can't move away, even if she wanted to, which she really, really didn't. Cora places her hands on his neck as they break their kiss and he rests his forehead against hers.
"It doesn't burn?" Cora asks as strokes his skin beneath her palms and feels his eyes on her. Every part of her hoped that the treatment that he had worked. "Not even when I touch you?" She adds smiling when he shakes his head.
"No, it feels amazing." Scott smiles and lifts his hand to her cheek. "So you can keep touching me.." He adds making her sigh and rest against him when he gathers her in his arms again. "Please touch me." Scott sighs happily as she strokes any bit of his skin that she can reach and finally onto the back of his head.
"I thought I was going to lose you for good this time, Ryder," Cora whispers as he nods, knowing that he'd thought the same when he'd been so sick. "I genuinely had to consider life without you." She shakes her head lightly and sees his small smile at her words. "I can't be without you, Scott. Please don't let me go through that again." Cora sighs and lowers her eyes from him.
"I can't be without you," Scott whispers and she feels him place his finger under her chin and divert her gaze back to his. "Never again, okay?" He adds so she nods and places her hands on his cheeks again to draw him into another kiss.
"Never again," Cora whispers between soft kisses, stroking her fingertips against his cheeks when she feels him wrapping his arms tightly around her again. "I wish we weren't surrounded by people." She sighs quietly when they break their kiss and relaxes in his hold.
"It's probably for the best." Scott smiles and she spots the flirtatious look in his eyes when he looks around them and then back at her. "So how about we get out of here?" He nods as she strokes her palms onto his biceps. "Take me home, please?" Scott whispers which makes her smile.
"Are you sure you're ready?' Cora replies with a slight smile which makes him laugh. She watches as he lifts his hand to stroke the front of her hair again, his gaze never leaving her as his smile widens.
"I am so so ready. I can't wait to sleep in our bed, eat loads of ice cream, and spend a few days alone with you." Scott replies with a large grin and she isn't sure she's ever seen him look so excited.
"The leaders want to see you." She sighs lightly and hears Scott falter at her words and notices that the smile very quickly fades from his face. "I know, I'm sorry.." Cora adds and can see a flicker of doubt in his eyes when she looks at him.
"I'm not ready for that" Scott whispers and Cora feels her stomach knot when she hears what he has said, maybe she had rushed him for her benefit and they shouldn't be discharging him yet. "Can't we see them later?" He adds as she tries to hide the disappointment from her face but doesn't manage it.
"They want you to find the Ark." Cora begins trying to keep the positivity in her voice but feels him unwrap his arms from around her and step away. "They have another lead.." She continues and hears Scott sigh and watches him shake his head lightly.
"Another dead end you mean?" He replies and fixes his eyes on her before lowering them to his feet, making her realise how upset he is at the mention of them being sent out again. "They just send us off after false leads, chasing ghosts. It gets your hopes up, and then it's all for nothing." Scott sighs so Cora looks around them hoping they aren't being overheard when he's being so vocal and negative about the leaders and the Initiative.
"Scott.." Cora whispers which draws his eyes back to her. "Don't say those things so loud. You were so keen to find them before?" She adds and sees him sigh and shakes his head. "We have to try, yes it will probably lead to nothing. But, we have to try and find them." She adds but notices he shakes his head again and doesn't look convinced.
"Why do you care so much?" Scott asks her.
"Why don't you?" She huffs, her voice louder than she intended and immediately regrets her words when she sees that he looks hurt, she knew he cared more than he should about everyone. But if it was her choice to go after any lead they had, she couldn't understand why he wasn't supporting her anymore.
"I do care." Scott huffs quietly. "But, I care about you more, which is why I don't want to disappoint you over and over again when we find out we are following a broken satellite." He continues his eyes meeting hers. "Or we could find the Ark with no one left alive." Scott sighs in frustration, making Cora glance at the staff that are watching them as they'd started to raise their voices. "Please, can we just forget it and go home?" He whispers and she can tell he's trying not to argue with her.
"No, we need to see Tann," Cora replies. "They are waiting for us." She adds when she feels him move away from her and notices he steps around her. "Don't walk away from me." Cora huffs with annoyance as she quickly grabs hold of his hand to try and stop him from getting further away.
"I can't deal with this right now, Cora." Scott replies but her actions keep him from leaving the Medbay and she feels his eyes settle on her face. "I'm sick, and I'm tired, and I just want to get out of here." He sighs and lowers his eyes when she grips his hand tightly. "I'm not ready." Scott gives her a weak smile but he looks guilty for his words.
"Scott, look.." Cora sighs and sees his eyes searching hers. " I didn't mean to upset you." She adds lowering her voice. "Please, just come with me." She whispers and sees that he shakes his head at her words and that he looks hurt.
"I'm sorry, but no." He whispers as she feels him pull his hand away from hers. "We don't have to fall out over this." Scott continues and lets his eyes meet hers. "I can't do this right now. Please, I'm asking as your boyfriend to just give me some time to get over this." Scott says which makes her shake her head and fold her arms over her chest.
"You can't ask me that and you know I can't wait." Cora huffs and notices he just sighs and lowers his eyes. "I thought you wanted to help people." She snaps at him, no longer caring that the staff in the medical wing are all watching and whispering about them.
"I do, but not at our expense. How much more disappointment can we take? How long until enough is enough?" Scott asks and she feels him gently take hold of her arms and unfold them, knowing he is trying to stop it from escalating. "I don't want to disappoint you, Cora." He sighs quietly. "Not when you see how weak I am right now." Scott huffs lightly and lowers his eyes.
"I'll help you. We said we'd do this together." She continues trying to convince him. "Just do it for me, please?" Cora adds and then falters when she sees his eyes and realises what she is asking of him.
She can see that he is considering just agreeing with her, knowing how much he hates confrontation and how much he would do anything to make her happy. Cora realises she is asking him to go into the unknown, knowing he's not well enough yet to do that. Knowing he would do that, risk himself for her. Cora feels the guilt gnawing at her, Scott was more important to her than how she was treating him and he deserved better.
"Okay." He sighs quietly and his eyes lower again.
"No, it's not okay. None of this is okay. I'm sorry, Scott." She whispers and reaches for him again so she can place her hand on his chest. "I've been so selfish." Cora continues as he places his hand over hers. "I shouldn't be asking this of you." She sighs.
"I know you want to find them," Scott replies and fixes his eyes on hers. "I know I'm letting you down.." He sighs as she feels him lift her hand to kiss the back of it softly, making her wonder how she could ever have considered putting Scott at risk like that.
"You've never disappointed me," Cora whispers. "You've never let me down." She sighs and lowers her eyes until she feels Scott's hand on her cheek. "You've never hurt me, Scott." The Lieutenant sighs and leans into his touch.
"Then let me keep it that way," Scott whispers and wraps his arms around her so she slides hers around his middle. "You don't need these constant disappointments. Maybe we've done enough and we need to move on." He adds but she shakes her head.
"I need to find that out for myself." She replies and notices he sighs lightly but then just nods. "But, only when you are feeling better," Cora adds as she squeezes him tighter and rests her head against his. "I'm sorry for what I said," Cora whispers and feels him cuddle her closer.
"I'm sorry, too." Scott sighs and lifts his hand to stroke her hair. "I'll come with you to see Tann." He says making Cora lift her head to look at him. "But we're telling him we need to know exactly where they are, okay?" Scott smiles lightly at her making her nod.
"Okay." Cora returns his smile and strokes her hands against his back. "Did you want me to give you some space?" She asks. "Just to, you know.." Cora smiles at him when she feels him cup her cheek and lean closer to kiss her gently.
"Space away from you?" He whispers as his eyes fix on hers. "That is the complete opposite of what I need right now." Scott smiles making her nod and holds him tighter in case she has to ever let go of him again.
—/—
"We probably have ten minutes.." Cora giggles as she holds his hand tighter and drags Scott through the door of the unoccupied office that she's managed to find on their way back to the meeting with the leaders. "Then they'll send someone looking for us." She adds as they stumble into the room together.
"I can work with that." Scott chuckles as she feels him start backing her against the door and covering her body with his, so she quickly presses her hand against the control to close it. "Just be gentle with me." She hears him laugh when she grabs his white hospital t-shirt and pulls him tight against her.
"We don't have time for gentle." Cora giggles before he quickly captures her mouth with his, kissing her hard and trapping her body with his against the door. She wraps her arms around his neck, dragging her fingers through his hair.
Cora feels his hands trailing down her body, his palms moving over the top of her clothes to her hips. She hears him groan when she moves her body against his and notices that he lowers his hands to the backs of her thighs, squeezing her when she opens her mouth and her tongue finds his. Cora lets him lift her from the ground so she wraps her legs around his hips, feeling him breaking their kiss long enough for him to step away from the door and carry her to the meeting table in the middle of the room.
"Fuck, you are so hot.." Scott pants as she feels him carefully lower her to the edge of the desk. Cora quickly slides her arms around him again and drags him on top of her as she leans back, taking him with her.
"As hot as you remembered?" She giggles before his mouth is on hers again and she hears him place his hands flat on the surface. Cora grips his waist to pull him closer, using the heels of her feet to draw him between her legs and sliding her hands up his back beneath his t-shirt. She feels his body tense when she digs her fingers into his skin.
"This is even better than I remembered," Scott mumbles when she feels him placing kisses against her jaw as his hand slides between them and then begins working on the opening on her jeans. "You taste even better than I remembered." He whispers as he nips at her earlobe making her whimper and her body arch towards when he finally slips his hand into her underwear and his fingers find her.
"God.. Scott.." Cora hisses and lets her fingers tangle in his hair again so she can drag him back into another kiss, his mouth muffling her moans when he circles his thumb slowly until she pants. "I need.." She whimpers wanting him desperately to keep doing that but also knowing they have to be quick.
Cora can't help but moan quietly when she feels him tug at her bottom lip until she opens her mouth and his tongue can move with hers. Cora slides her hands down his back and into his waistband, beginning to pull them down until she can grip his bare skin and rock his body against hers. She notices that her actions make him groan as their bodies grind together so she wraps her legs tighter around him and matches his movements. Cora feels him remove his hand from between her legs and that his attention has returned to pulling her jeans down her hips so he can get her out of them. She grips his trousers in her fists again and pushes them down to his hips.
"Baby, what's wrong?" She pants when she feels Scott suddenly break their kiss and that he looks like he is trying to take a deep breath. Scott shakes his head lightly as if he's feeling dizzy.
"It's nothing, I'm fine." Scott smiles at her and lowers his head to kiss her again but she places her fingers over his mouth and then lifts her hands to his face so she can look at him. Even in this light, she could see how pale he was suddenly looking right now.
"You don't look fine." Cora whispers and notices that he is still panting and then watches as he leans back until he can climb off of the desk. "Are you sure your okay?" She asks as she watches him take an unsteady step towards her and lower his hands to her.
"Cora, I'm fine." He repeats but she watches him suddenly take another uneasy step backwards and that he's suddenly collapsing to the floor and it looks like his legs have given way beneath him.
"Scott!" Cora shouts as she quickly scrambles off of the table and to her knees beside him on the floor. "Oh my god.." She adds feeling the panic inside her when she looks into his face and can see he's conscious but not moving. "Scott, can you hear me?" Cora mumbles placing her hands on his face as she leans over him and tries to look into his eyes. "I'm going to get help." She adds quickly bringing her Omni up and sending out an SOS message to the medical team and their location.
Cora leans over him again, placing her hands on his cheeks and then stroking his hair. Doing anything she can to comfort him but feels scared that she's done this to him. She hears her device ping and that someone has heard her message and that they are on their way.
"They're coming.." Cora mumbles and fixes her eyes on his face and noticing that his eyes lids flutter. "Please be okay." She whispers and strokes her hands on his arms not knowing what to do when the panic hits her.
"Why am I down here?" Scott groans quietly as she feels his eyes finally reach hers and he tries to sit up. "I thought I was getting lucky." He adds making her sigh with relief when she hears his voice but she places her hands on his chest to keep him still.
"You were," Cora whispers and notices he lifts his hand to rub his head and that his eyes meet hers again. "Then you just.." She continues and places her hand on his face again and strokes his skin. "Did I do this to you?" Cora sighs and feels him cover her hand with his and can see he doesn't know how to answer that.
"What happened?" She hears Lexi's voice at the door so glances up and sees that she, Doctor Carlyle and another of the medical staff have arrived. "Why are you on the ground, Scott?" Lexi adds as they reach them.
"He just collapsed." Cora sighs as she lets them crowd around Scott, noticing that Lexi kneels so that she can get closer to him and that her Omni is very quickly running scans on him. "It's my fault.." She whispers and notices that her words make Harry look at her as she stands. "I should have taken him straight to Tann." Cora huffs.
"I just tripped over my feet," Scott replies as Cora watches Lexi begin shining a light into his eyes and scanning his head.
"You are the worst liar I've ever met," Lexi says with a small smile as she glances at the results on her screen. "It doesn't look like you've done any damage. Do you think we can get you up?" She asks and Cora sees that Scott nods lightly.
"Honestly, I'm fine." Scott sighs.
"Scott, your not fine." Cora huffs quietly as she watches the two of them carefully get Scott into a seated position and then help him off of the floor and to his feet. She notices that he sways slightly so he lowers himself to the edge of the desk.
"I'm not going back to the hospital," Scott replies and she feels his eyes on her and that there is a flash of worry behind them, she could see he was genuinely concerned about that. "I've already lost two weeks." He laughs dryly and shakes his head as he lowers his eyes to his feet. "I need to get back to work."
"Your stats appear normal," Lexi says which draws Scott's attention to her and Cora looks at her too. "All levels are fine considering, and the treatment and medication are working." She continues and Cora notices that her words make Scott look a little more relieved. "I think this is exhaustion." Lexi nods.
"I could have told you I'm tired." Scott sighs quietly so she moves closer to him and wraps her arm around his shoulders, drawing him to her until she can press a kiss against the top of his head. She feels him relax against her as she strokes his hair.
"Not tired, exhausted." His Doctor smiles lightly at him. "You don't need the hospital, you just need to rest." Lexi continues and brings up her Omni to show Scott and herself that his levels are in range. "The poisoning was a lot for your body to overcome.." She nods and then begins tapping on her screen. "Real rest, for a couple of days and no arguments. I've informed the leaders." Lexi says and Cora can tell she's ready to fight him on it if he doesn't.
"So he'll be okay?" Cora asks and notices that Lexi nods her head lightly and when she looks down at Scott he's looking up at her. "Please don't scare me like that again." She whispers and tightens her hold on Scott and starts pressing kisses against his forehead.
"I told you to be gentle with me." Scott smiles at her making her sigh.