36. CONDITIONAL
Salty wind in hair. The scent of the sea. Cold fingers and toes. The remnants of sand in the grass of the back garden. Beyond it, nothing.
She likes to stare at this view. Much like how she used to watch from the windows of her Rochdale office. Funny how then she really was surveyor of a kingdom, yet she had never felt like more of a wallflower.
Here, she could be atop a mountain. She could be on top of the whole world.
The world, it feels different here. Quiet. Peaceful. Safe. Not void of responsibility and duty, but perhaps of the heaviness that once came with it. She had never been here before he brought her. Before he bought her this house. It felt like home from the very first breath of sea air.
Now, arms are around her, weighty and warm behind her, fingers twisting into hers.
He often joins her, at their view, with warmer hands covering hers and a kiss to her shoulder. She would relax into him and lean her head back against his shoulder. When it is colder, or wetter, he would wrap the lapels of his waxy jacket around her, as if he were trying to stop her from being absorbed back into the elements. Perhaps there had been a time when she would have wished to run into the unruly sea in front of her. Not anymore. Not with him at her back and his arms around her. They would stand here for hours, sometimes, just staring. Then he would say something lovely, maybe, or outlandish and ridiculous, probably.
She just knows him far too well. She is smiling before he says it. He doesn't ask, as such. She has said no now too many times. It's more of a joke now, or an absent-minded musing, into her ear while she is cooking or while the waves hush in the other. Never very serious.
"Let's get married."
Something today feels different. A soft smile. She feels still. Everything feels still.
"Yeah, okay."
"What? Really?"
"On one condition…"
"Anything."
He turns her around in his arms and smooths the wisps of windswept hair from her face. He has always held her like this, as if she were precious. She holds him, in response, as if her life depends on it. It doesn't. She is not a hopeless romantic. She knows it doesn't. But somehow, things are so much better, now that they are back together.
"Anything you want."
"Never leave me again."