The day that Severus's world would come crashing down upon him started innocently enough with a letter landing on his place at breakfast. Busy as he was revising for his Defence Against The Dark Arts OWL he paid it little attention, slipping it into his book bag with barely a glance to read later.
Several hours later he left the hall feeling elated and satisfied that he had scored a good mark on his exam. He found a secluded spot to sit under one of the old Oak trees by the lake and look over the paper which had interested him greatly when he suddenly remembered the letter he'd received that morning. Scrabbling inside his bag he soon found it and examined it intrigued by the fine quality of the parchment, he examined the extravagant seal frowning as he realised it was a seal that he did not recognise with some curious mark involving a snake. Well and truly intrigued, he opened the letter curious to see what it contained.
His face paled as he read the contents of the letter, struggling to take in the contents. His hands shook and he felt himself go lightheaded and break out in a cold sweat as his whole world and all his dreams collapsed into pieces.
The letter claimed to be from someone called Voldemort, the same man who had great plans to reform the wizarding world, who promised a better future, the man who he had planned to pledge allegiance to was now claiming to be his true birth father. He had marked him as his son and heir and laid out in no uncertain terms his plans for him. He intended for him to enter his service as a Death Eater (what the heck even was a Death Eater?) and take the dark mark when he came of age the following year.
He almost thought that all his dreams had come true at once, he had always dreamed of being powerful and important, instead of a nobody, all of that was suddenly within his grasp, almost. Unfortunately, nothing in life was so simple and the cost of his dreams was giving up the one thing his heart truly desired Lily.
This mysterious man made it clear that he must sever any relationships he had with any muggles or muggleborns without exception, well there was one exception he supposed but he did not even want to think about that possibility, it made him feel sick, he would not, could not ever do that to anyone least of all to Lily he'd rather die before hurting her.
He'd have to end his friendship with Lily, as he was under no illusion that he would be able to continue his friendship with Lily it had been hard enough to keep it secret from their disapproving housemates before but to do so now would not only be incredibly foolish but would place both their lives in jeopardy. If this man ever found out that, he had befriended a muggleborn witch, he had no doubt that he would kill not only Lily but also most likely her whole family, that was not something he could allow. It would break her heart but he would have to find some way to end their friendship for her own safety even if she believed the worst of him.
He felt broken inside, his whole life had been a lie, as realisation sunk in that everything he had been told and had dreamed was false. He was beginning to realise the group he had planned to join wasn't all he had been led to believe. He had heard wonderful things about how this Lord Voldemort was working to create a better world for all wizardkind and not just for the elite and muggleborns but all wizards even protecting abused half-bloods and muggle-borns like him. He had dreamed of entering this man's service, building a better, fairer world and being rewarded with everything he could dream of, but how could he do that now when the man's very actions contradicted this if he didn't even care enough to protect his own son how could he trust him to protect anyone else from abusive muggles.
He had not been totally blind to the group's purpose and his friend's increasing hatred of muggles but they'd always been careful about what they'd told him about the group's aims, it was clear now that the group's true purpose was far more sinister than he had ever comprehended, the name of his followers which he had not heard before except in hushed fearful whispers and the way he talked about muggles indicated that the rumours were true. Lily had warned him about his friends and the dark truth of the group and like a fool he'd ignored her warnings, now it appeared that she was right about them, and if she was right about this then he suspected that she was probably right about all the other rumours she'd heard.
And all of this was the fault of the one man who claimed to be his father, the one man who he hated more than any other.
The letter was well crafted by someone who knew how to charm and fool others with honey-coated truths and a few well-chosen words, how to draw you in with false promises and there was something very persuasive about the way they wrote. But he had learned the hard way to be suspicious and mistrustful, and reading between the lines the story did not add up.
This was Voldemort's second mistake. He had gambled on the fact that he would be totally immersed in the Death eater culture and would be pleased and awed to learn that his father was the powerful leader of the group. He assumed that he would consider taking the mark and accepting his destiny as his heir to be an honour and would be eager to please him the man who had revealed himself to be his father. He did not count on Severus's Slytherin instincts and keen mind kicking in. He was intelligent enough to start connecting the dots and see through his carefully worded web of deception and he wasn't buying the fact that this man had only recently that he was his son.
It was far too much of a coincidence that this man had only discovered he had a son now and yet had made all these plans for him to be marked as his heir. He'd had the choice to take him and perhaps his mother out of that environment and had chosen to abandon him to his fate. As if to add insult to injury, he had made the calculated decision to contact him 16 years later not to welcome him with open arms but to dictate to him what was expected of him as his son and heir as if he were some kind of puppet. It was clear he did not care about him beyond the fact that he was expected to continue his bloodline.
There was too much to absorb and get his head round, it made him feel sick to the pit of his stomach wondering how much of his life had been a lie, manipulated or controlled by this man who claimed to be his father. He stumbled to his feet not taking in his surroundings his thoughts only on needing to get away from the lake, which was suddenly swarming with people.
So caught up was he in his own swirling and churning thoughts and emotions that he failed to notice the person watching him with concern before turning away with a thoughtful expression on his face and he failed to notice his arch enemies the self-proclaimed Marauders led by James Potter and Sirius Black ambush and hex him before it was too late and they had already cast several humiliating hexes at him before he'd even had the chance to reach for his wand.
He attempted to fight back but it was half-hearted at best and only resulted in a slashing cut across Potter's perfect face, which spurted blood. Nonetheless, this was enough to anger the boy and cause him to cast Levicorpus, one of his own spells no less on him, which left him, suspended upside down with his greying pants on show in front of half the school.
As if this was not humiliating enough, his best and truthfully only true friend, Lily Evans was witness to the whole thing and tried to wade in to put a stop to the boy's pranks. He groaned internally and wondered foolishly if this day could get any worse than being rescued by the girl he fancied, the girl who he had to somehow find a way to gently break the news that he could no longer be friends with her.
Unfortunately, Potter had other ideas and decided to goad him, bringing his anger to the surface "you're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus."
"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" he lashed out as he staggered to his feet, his voice filled with all the pent-up anger and humiliation of the past few hours.
There was stunned silence as he and the assembled audience took in his words, he saw Lilly blink in shock and then horror before finally settling on anger as the words sunk in before she turned coldly to him "fine, I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you Snivellus" she said delivering the final blow before turning away.
The words had escaped before he even had time to think about what he was saying in that instant that he saw Lily's shock turn to hurt. He instantly regretted those words and wished he could take them back, this wasn't how it was meant to be, he had meant to tell her in private to explain how he still cared for her but that it was best for them to break off their friendship, to console her and tell her that he still cared and everything would work out for the best, he'd really made a mess of that putting his foot in it and acting with his mouth instead of his brain.
She was angry he could tell underneath the collected front she put on but he could see how much she was hurting behind those cool words and longed to go and comfort her and tell her that he didn't mean what he'd said but he couldn't, it hurt so much, he had never loathed himself more than he had in that instant.
He tuned out the rest of the argument, he had eyes only for Lily as she walked away and possibly out of his life, the only good thing that came out of it was that she surely wouldn't want to be his friend and if she didn't want to be his friend there was at least a better chance that she'd be safe. He did not even notice as Potter and Black resumed cursing him as silent, almost invisible tears left tracks down his cheek.
Eventually, when their curses failed to provoke a response and the rest of their audience had grown bored and dispersed, the remaining Marauders decided that there must be better forms of entertainment abound. Seeing him still lying motionless on the ground, they gave a final kick to his chest causing him to curl up into a tighter ball before departing.
Author's Notes:
I hope you all like that and it makes some sort of sense as I've tried to explain how Severus is feeling upon receiving the letter, his first contact from Voldemort and why he doesn't just automatically believe him and want to be a Death Eater.
I know there are varying accounts of how much Severus knows about the Death Eaters and truly ascribes to their ideas from the people who write himas being very much a cold-blooded Death Eater who enjoys the torture to the other extreme where he's totally naive believing Voldemort is trying to make a better world for wizards like him and doesn't realise what he's signed up for until it's to late.
I think in spite or perhaps as a result of the last chapter, Severus is somewhat naive about the true nature and name of the group he's so eager to join and that he believes more in Voldemort's vision to help people like him which is why he overlooks his housemate's actions and is somewhat dismissive of Lily's concerns and that is part of the reason why the truth is such a shock to him when he realises the group's true purpose particularly as he cares deeply for Lily.
So yeah, we're starting to get into the real action of the plot now and by unfortunate coincidence I'm going to have to leave you hanging a bit longer as I'm going camping for a week from tomorrow so the next update will be at some point after I get back, it's pretty much ready to go barring some last minute edits.