A Major Change: New Surgeon at the 4077 Chapter 91: Plans Arranged for Home, a m*a*s*h fanfic

Okay, readers! Here is the 91st chapter of this story!

Yeah, this is the part of the story where things start to wrap up for everyone at the 4077th. Of course, this chapter is going to be a bit longer than the previous two chapters. But that's because this chapter will feature proper descriptive insights of all of the main characters here as they're packing things up and getting ready to go home. This includes Klinger and Father Mulcahy.

Also, expect a lot of callbacks in this story to previous chapters, especially with a specific character having an event from a previous chapter that involved that particular character being mentioned. Since this story is coming to a close, I'm gonna include all of the callbacks from the previous chapters of this story.

Lastly, I already got the order in which the characters should be shown taken care of. I also got how most scenes should go and in what order each character will be focused. Just wanted to let you all know right now.

Well, I've said everything I needed to for this author's note, so I'm gonna start the chapter. How is everyone doing with packing their stuff? What will they be feeling when they think about finally being back at home? And are there any other surprises that might occur for the M*A*S*H 4077? Read and find out right now!

IN COLONEL BLAKE'S OFFICE - 8:28

The day had gone by at the M*A*S*H 4077 like it was nothing. And most of the people stationed there had been in their respective tents, getting their belongings and stuff all packed up into their footlockers and duffle bags so they can bring them along for when they all head for home.

Many of the other stuff that they've collected in Korea, not to mention the gifts they got while stationed there, ended up getting packed up in boxes and shipped back to their respective homes back in the states. Still, they had some more stuff that had to be taken care of at the M*A*S*H 4077 before they were officially ready to ship things out and get ready to head home.

In Henry's office, in particular, we see Henry having taken things out of the drawers to his desk as he had already gotten through with putting the stuff in his office that was all his into several separate boxes.

This included his high school diploma, the dartboard, the skeleton anatomical model, several plaques that were hanging up below the window, and the childish-looking drawings that his kids made and sent for him to keep in his office.

He had also gone through and emptied 'out' his liquor cabinet, and made sure all the drinks that were in there were either consumed by tonight since it'll be their final night at the 4077th, or they would get dumped out. Henry made sure that they were brought to the Officer's Club for later since tonight was going to be one heck of a blowout for everyone here.

And as for everything that was on top of his desk, all of that stuff was taken off and packed up into a box as well. This included his coffee mug, his cigars, and of course, that doll that he always keeps on the edge of his desk. He made sure that was packed up neatly and carefully so it wouldn't get broken by the time it got back to Bloomington.

Because of that, the only things that were on his desk were the telephone and a couple of boxes that he was packing up his stuff in that he kept in his office. Most of the stuff he took out of the drawers wasn't exactly noteworthy, which were put into the trash can. However, one thing that did catch his attention was something that he just took out.

It was a jar. Specifically, it was a jar of mayonnaise. Henry had to wonder why that's been in there, and how come he had forgotten about it until now. He did know what the mayonnaise jar was from however since judging by the expression on his face, it looked like he's been looking everywhere for it.

Hey. Well, what do you know? This is the mayonnaise jar I've been looking for that we lost that one 'Fourth of July' we had here. Henry thought in amusement as he looked closely at it for a minute. Hmmm...this might've been from either 1951 or '52. I might have to check up with Radar on that. And I should also get him to write that letter of apology to that navy chaplain. Yes, sir, this one was a greeny.

Feeling that the jar of mayonnaise was no longer any good for anyone to consume in the camp, along with most of the dreck that is served in the mess tent, Henry decided to just throw it into the trash can as he continued looking through one of the drawers in his desk.

It was then something else caught his attention, as he touched something that felt like paper. He took it out of the desk and took a close look at what it was. He was surprised to see that it was a photo, and what it was a photo of exactly.

It was a photo of himself and Radar. Specifically, it was taken sometime after Radar's appendix was taken out a while back. Henry remembered the time he had to get his 'own' appendix removed when it was causing him pain.

It was during the time that Hawkeye's longjohns were being traded from person to person. Still, having remembered how Radar got his appendix removed was something different for him.

Wow. I can't believe this picture of us was taken after I took out Radar's appendix. Mmm, he was one sick kid. And to think that I looked for that thing till 4 in the morning. Henry thought. And it was behind his secum too...which wasn't put there on purpose. And Radar claimed that I saved his life. Welp, I'm a doctor. It's in my profession since I've been working in a hospital since before I was drafted out here. I'd do that for anybody.

Upon looking at the picture again, he sighed about how that brings back such a touching moment. Henry then put the picture to the side of his desk as he finished emptying the desk drawers.

After seeing there was nothing left in them that had anything else, he then closed the drawers. Walking away from behind the desk, Henry was now standing in front of it, as he was doing some thinking about what's been going on lately.

All this time that he has been in Korea, he never thought that he'd be there long enough to see the Korean War finally come to an end. In 'fact', he thought that he would've earned his rotation points and that he should've been discharged by now.

He would've left the 4077 in that double-breasted suit, and taken a ride on a chopper heading for Seoul, where he'd then board a plane heading to Tokyo. Then again, it was also possible that if that had happened, the plane he'd be riding in would've been shot down over the sea of Japan, and he would've died as a result.

But because he wasn't discharged, he has seen alot of things happen in Korea for the past three years that he's been drafted into the country to run a field hospital. One of which was the time that a patient wanted him dead unless he was sent home early.

Other instances included him nearly getting court-martialed thanks to two of his Majors finking on him for aiding the enemy, falling in love while in Tokyo which turned out to be a phase, and fearing that his wife was cheating on him behind his back, even though he had done the same to her, for a while that is.

Additionally, Henry had to remember that the 4077th had been the target of several mishaps that had taken place. One of these included that propaganda bomb that had landed in the middle of their compound while they were looking forward to the Army-Navy football game.

There was also the sniper that had everyone pinned down at the 4077, who had targeted the camp out of fear, thinking that it was MacArthur's headquarters.

And then there was the time where the 4077 was the centering of shellfire strikes and bombing around the place; one of which struck the latrine that Henry was using, along with Father Mulcahy, who was injured because of the impact. Not to mention all of the unexpected visits Colonel Flagg made at the 4077.

And of course, the 4077 had gotten some rather unusual stuff delivered to them, much to Henry's disbelief. Whether it was an M4A2 Sherman tank, a P-51 Mustang plane, a motorcycle, and other stuff.

Yes, sirree, our unit has had many things happen to it for the past 3 years, aside from the action that the war was causing. Boy, I just can't wait to see my wife and children again. And the dog, of course. Henry thought. Knowing Lorraine, she's been getting together every Wednesday with Ella, Bea, Marie, and Olive as they go out to this ol' club we know; the Old Red Barn on Route 26 for lunch while Olives tells them about hysterectomy.

Henry sighed before he continued to think about how things were going for his family in Bloomington. The girls; Jane and Molly are quite a handful, but they seem to be making the most of it until their daddy gets home. And of course, my son Andrew has had his trombone lessons, where he's learning to play Ravel's Bolero. Boy, wouldn't it be great for Lorraine and me to head to our bedroom, and see what she did to the bed?

Henry had an amused look on his face as he stood in a proud position. The phone started ringing, but as it turns out, Radar answered it, leaving Henry to continue thinking to himself. Several other things have happened to him since he's been in Korea too. One of these was the wedding anniversary presents that his senior medical staff and Radar got him for his wedding anniversary with Lorraine.

There was the time when he had gone completely blind due to an explosion that happened in the furnace, all the bad reports he had gotten about how he runs the outfit from General Harrelson, thanks to Corporal Marcus Smithson, and the time they watched Anne of Green Gables in the mess tent over some drinks.

He can still remember the announcement that was made at exactly 2200 hours last night about the war finally ending. It was still fresh on his mind.

"This is Robert Pierpoint speaking to you from Panmunjom," he had announced. "It's one minute before 10 p.m. We can still hear the sound of nearby artillery. At some point during the next few seconds, the guns should go silent as the cease‐fire officially goes into effect."

Soon enough, the gunfire that was heard outside had come to a sudden halt, as it had become silent.

"There it is. That's the sound of peace."

Henry had to smile at it as he shook his head. They did bring the war to an end, and this ceasefire was the real thing this time. This was a wonderful moment for everyone.

Suddenly, the door to his office opened up, and entering was Radar. He had that urgent look on his face as if he had some important news to tell him.

"Sir? Colonel Blake, sir?" Radar told him.

"Radar, what is it," Henry gave him a look of confusion. "I thought you'd be in your office, getting all of your stuff packed up."

"Oh, uh, well sir. It's already packed up. Taken care of it already," Radar said sheepishly before getting straight to the point. "Listen, there's an important phone call for you."

"Phone call for me?" Henry was surprised to hear this. "What kind of dodo would be calling me when the war is over?"

"Uhhh...sir," Radar then revealed. "The dodo happens to be General Clayton."

"General Clayton? Holy cow," Henry gasped. "Why didn't you say so?"

"Well, ya could say I tried sir," Radar remarked.

"Okay. What does the General want with me?" Henry asked curiously, as he walked behind his desk and grabbed the phone speaker.

"Dunno sir," Radar shrugged. "All I know is that he wants to talk with ya. Says it's important."

"Welp, it must be important if the General's calling me when the war's over," Henry sat down in the chair and then want to tell Radar something else that was urgent. "Oh, and Radar?"

"Write out a letter of apology for the navy chaplain. Regardin' lost jar o' mayonnaise," Radar said in unison as he approached the door. "Yes sir."

Henry nodded as Radar walked out of his office. He then took the call that General Clayton made to him, as he spoke into the speaker. "Hello?"

IN RADAR'S OFFICE:

While Henry was talking with General Clayton on the phone, Radar was back in his office, sitting at his desk. He was able to listen in on parts of the conversation on the phone, where he heard the general making mention of a 'documentary'.

Radar felt like he knew what this was about, so he stopped listening in on the call and went straight to writing that apology letter to the navy chaplain, in regards to that missing mayonnaise jar that Henry found in his office.

As he was doing that, he couldn't help but think about how everything has been going down in Korea. The war was officially over, peace has been declared, and they can all head home. Radar was still trying to understand everything about it.

Truth be told, Radar was the only one in Korea who never gave much thought as to if the war will ever end, or if both sides of Korea would declare peace. He did feel bad for the locales who lived in Korea however, as he had tried everything he can to help out and give them support, which includes giving away most of his earthworms to the Korean farmers who needed them since they need all the help they can get for their crops.

He also remembered a lot of the things that he had gone through since he's been in Korea for three years. One of which included the time when he had been bitten by a dog that came by the 4077, and Henry had this assumption that he had rabies, so he was being given rabies shots as a result. Thankfully, the dog turned out to have tested negative for rabies, so Radar was safe.

Then there was the time that he needed to have his tonsils removed in the compound, in which the tonsillectomy was made possible thanks to Hawkeye and Trapper. He ended up getting some strawberry ice cream afterwards, at least 10 gallons full; which was shared with the rest of the compound.

On that note, Radar also remembered Henry having to take out his appendix, which if he could recall, was "hiding behind his secum". Radar was grateful for that. He could never forget how Henry did that for him.

Then there was the time where Radar found an abandoned pig in one of the abandoned Korean homes just outside of the 4077th, who he named Arnold, and had him sent back to his home in the states as Corporal Arnold Pig, who ended up joining the lamb he saved from that Easter Greek Feast known as Private Charles Lamb. He was glad that they were back in Ottumwa and not in camp where they could've been eaten.

Gee whiz. Never thought so much would've happened in Korea. Since I've been drafted here. Radar thought. So much has happened since then. From report to Commandin' General on March 6. '53. To gettin' promoted to Sergeant by promotion board. Collectin' clams, crabs, and sea animals on Wangsan Beach. Then there's the time when Lt. Aubert...err, Annebelle, of French Battalion, came to inspect our camp. Gosh, things have been rough, yet also swell. On some parts.

He couldn't stop thinking of Annebelle Aubert now, as well as remembering what Andrew told him about his left hand. Taking a close look at it, he then recalled what it was that Andrew said to him; Brachydactyly.

"Well Radar, it's a medical term for short finger. It's a Greek word that means 'short finger'," Andrew had explained to him. "And it seems that you have three of them."

Gee. Andrew sure has some way with words. And lettin' me know that I shouldn't let 'em and the size keep me from doin' what I do usually. Radar thought. Boy, Andrew sure is a great pal. Think I'll miss him when we go on home.

With that thought fresh on his mind, he finished writing the letter as he folded it up, put it into an envelope, put the required information on the front, used a stamp, and sealed the flap up. As soon as he put it onto his desk, he turned around to face his bed. Several boxes of his stuff were in front of the bed, while his footlocker and dufflebag were resting on top of it. And right in front was his teddy bear; the comfort object that he brought with him from home, and had kept with him since he was drafted into Korea.

Aside from that, he already had a plan for his animal friends. He was either gonna release them into the wild since the war was over, or have some of them be brought back to the states like he did Charles and Arnold; his lamb and pig respectively. Some of them would be happier being back in the states with him, at his home.

With that having crossed his mind. Radar couldn't help but think of his home, and his folks, and how everyone would feel when they finally see Radar returning to Ottumwa, Iowa.

Aside from his Ma and his Uncle Ed, several other people were waiting for him to come back home. This includes his Uncle David, his cousin Millie, his Uncle Bill, his Aunt Emily, his cousin Jimmy, and his dog Ranger. Based on the photo book that he got from his folks quite a while back, it was clear that they miss him, and they hoped that he'd return home soon, and safely.

Then he came up with an idea. The war was over, and he'd be going home shortly, so he figured that he could call up his folks back in Ottumwa, and let them know that he'll be coming home soon. It would be nice to hear from them after so much time in Korea had gone by, and they would be relieved to know that he'll be back with them, where he belongs.

As soon as Henry was all done with the phone, Radar decided to get a hold of Sparky so he can connect him straight to Ottumwa Iowa. After turning the lever a few times, Radar put on the speaker headset and then spoke into it.

"Hello, Sparky? Sparky, you there? It's Radar," Radar said. "How's that? Yes, Sparky. I know. The war ended, and everyone was excited. Yeah. That's right. About goin' home. Yes. I know."

It was then Radar got straight to the purpose of the phone call. "Hey listen Sparky. I uh, I was wonderin' if ya could do me a favor. No, it ain't about gettin' anything requisitioned. No. I was hoping that you'd transfer an important phone call. To the states. Yeah. Where? Ottumwa Iowa. It's where I came from. Yes. I want to get a hold of my folks at home. Tell 'em that this war's ended, peace has been made, and I'll be home shortly. Got it. That's right. Roger Sparky. I can wait."

And so Radar decided to wait patiently for Sparky to get him through several phone wires to get straight to the United States, and then to his hometown of Ottumwa, Iowa. Judging by the look on Radar's face, this was going to take a while, especially since it was 16 hours earlier there. All he could do was be patient and wait to get through to Ottumwa...

IN THE SWAMP:

Meanwhile, in the Swamp, Hawkeye and Trapper were in there, wearing their usual bathrobes, lounging around, which wasn't unusual. But what was unusual was the fact that a good amount of the stuff was already packed up. Hawkeye and Trapper had already taken down their stuff from their respective shelves, and put them into boxes, along with whatever else they could find that was theirs.

Additionally, their clothes were already put into their footlockers, along with their 'personal' essentials, while their duffle bags were stuffed with other stuff that they needed to bring back with them to the states.

The only thing of theirs that wasn't packed up or put away was the gin still and the glasses that go with it. They had wanted to have a few more drinks before they could call it quits in Korea, and then they could head home.

As far as Frank's side of the Swamp is concerned, everything of his was packed up as well. All of his personal belongings on the shelf were put into his footlocker, and so were all of the clothes that he wore at the M*A*S*H 4077.

He made sure that there weren't any holes in them since he knew that if Hawkeye and Trapper packed his clothes into his footlocker, they'd leave him with all of the worn-out stuff that was missing buttons and had holes in them.

He had left the Swamp for a bit to go see Margaret since there were two things that he found in his footlocker that he completely forgot about; her alarm clock, and a picture of her wearing a bikini.

He just hoped that she wouldn't get too angry at him for stopping by. Not to mention he felt that Andrew could use that picture of Margaret in a bikini more since he was her fiance if Margaret was willing to do that.

Currently, Hawkeye and Trapper were helping themselves to some drinks fresh from the gin still. Of which Hawkeye had added all of the fixings and had allowed it to do what it would always do for them whenever they wanted drinks. Hawkeye had filled two glasses; one for himself and one for Trapper, as he took both glasses and walked away from the still.

"Well Trap, it looks like the cards were played out right in Panmunjom," Hawkeye stated, handing Trapper his glass. "They ended the war, Korea has declared peace and ceased the fighting, and now, we're all looking forward to going home."

"Yeah Hawk," Trapper said indifferently, sitting on the chair as he took the glass. "I still can't buy how they declared peace in Korea that easily, especially with all the homes destroyed, and children that have been orphaned."

"All thanks to the war," Hawkeye said dryly, standing in front of him. "Well how about this Trapper; let's make a toast."

"That I'll buy," Trapper declared as he stood up and got in front of Hawkeye before he held his glass out. "What do you suppose we should propose a toast to?"

"To a lot of things, actually," Hawkeye had to do some thinking for a moment before coming up with a proper toast. "Okay. I'd like to propose a toast. To the Korean War finally ending. To the many lives of those many Korean civilians who should have hope in starting over without losing their homes or loved ones. To the fact that we'll be leaving this sewage pit behind us permanently. To have this ridiculous police action finally ceasing and that no more innocent lives and bystanders can be taken away from us. And to get to live a much more quiet and enjoyable life back at home, in the United States of America."

"Not bad. Couldn't have come up with anything more beautiful," Trapper said dryly. "Well, I guess I can drink to that. Cheers?"

"Cheers," Hawkeye remarked with a smirk.

They then clinked their glasses together and drank down the gin in unison. Needless to say, they looked satisfied by it.

"Mmm...Ahmmm," Trapper cleared his throat upon having finished his drink before he spoke again. "I'll tell you what though, Hawk. There are a lot of things in this snake pit that I won't miss when I'm back home with my daughters."

"There are a lot of things we won't miss about this place," Hawkeye said before listing them all out. "Let's see, there's Frank Burns. All of the dreck that the mess tent serves up for our stomachs. Having to eat nothing but powdered eggs and other powdered food made of nothing but powder, and is as white as the snow that sticks to the ground on a cold snowy winter day. Being forced to wear clothes made out of rags. Sleeping on a dirty sheet that has never been cleaned before is covered in deep-pile germs and bacteria. The lousy rotten smell of the garbage resting outside the Swamp. The smell of dirty underwear and socks gets cleaned with a scalpel. Frank Burns. Doing calisthenics at 6 a.m. Having to perform countless hours of meatball surgery on those who shouldn't have been drafted here, and seeing these civilians die because of a war. The primitive equipment that we use in the O.R. Having to wait in line just to take a cold shower. Seeing rats, mice and cockroaches dig through our trash cans. Hearing all of the action and explosions going on near the front at night; all of which is loud enough to keep you from getting any sleep. Did I already mention Frank Burns?"

"I believe you did," Trapper deadpanned. "Three times if I recall."

"Right," Hawkeye snapped his fingers. "The point is, there isn't a single thing here that people will end up missing about being here."

"You aren't joking," Trapper said dryly before letting out a slight chuckle, getting Hawkeye a little confused by this. "Heh heh, you know something Hawk? We've been through alot of crazy stuff together since we got drafted into this pig pen."

"Well, it's like I say; why should we spend the duration of a war without the presence of someone who brings you good company," Hawkeye remarked casually. "We ended up in the Swamp together, and poof. We give each other good company."

"I'll say," Trapper rolled his eyes before bringing something up with him. "I still remember the time when you worked in OR nonstop for 20 straight days and nights. And you refused to sleep."

"Yeah, bring that up why don't you," Hawkeye retorted sarcastically. "I still can't believe that I sent that telegram to the president."

"Trust me, Hawk. It's as believable as seeing you try to deliver our latrines to North Korean in exchange for the war ending," Trapper said with a smirk. "And to think that General Clayton was trapped in the latrine while you were making the delivery before clocking out on the way over there."

"So that's why I realized I was about 500 yards away from the compound while I was behind the wheel," Hawkeye rubbed his eyes. "Now I know how that MP felt when he fell asleep by that drink that he had that was drugged."

"Yeah, and to think that you swallowed a whole drugstore with what I put in your martini," Trapper said before bringing up something else. "Aside from that, there was the time you went crazy from the mess tent serving the same stuff, and that you placed that order from Adam's Ribs."

"Yeah. Adam's Ribs," Hawkeye felt his lips smacking for a moment or so. "And to think all that juicy delicious barbequed spare ribs that were cooked and prepped up was all for nothing."

"Hey, that's the war for you," Trapper shrugged. "While you placed an order of BBQ ribs from Adam's Ribs, the war placed an order of casualties for us to patch up."

"Don't remind me," Hawkeye murmured. "I had ordered something else from another restaurant in Maine. Right near Crabapple Cove too."

"You mean Beal's Lobster Pier," Trapper snorted a chuckle. "Yeah. I gotta tell you Hawk, that was probably the best decision you came up with for this lousy war. And it's something, seeing that we needed a break from the dreck that we eat normally around here."

"You know it," Hawkeye recalled. "All that food we had. The 24 lbs of fresh lobsters, mussels, local Maine oysters, shrimps, haddocks, scallops, and crabs. And the 12 dozen boxes of large fries, corn on a cob, slabs of cornbread, and several bottles of their best cocktail to go with it."

"Please don't start already Hawk," Trapper suggested. "I don't need you drooling before we have to head home from this place."

"Right," Hawkeye sighed. "Got anything else Trap?"

"Yes, 'actually'. There was the time that we caught you sleepwalking, and you were having nightmares about Crabapple Cove."

"Terrific. And to think that you guys had to get Sidney; the mobile army head-shrink to examine me about those nightmares and my sleepwalking."

"There was the time that the army made the mistake of declaring you dead when the death certificate was meant for someone else."

"It took at least 12 weeks to get that cleared up by the army. And to think that I almost stowed away on a bus full of bodies, planning to go AWOL."

"But Andrew and I stopped you before that could happen," Trapper chuckled wryly before continuing. "And of course, there was the time that you acted like you caught polio upon treating a patient who contracted it. I have never seen you act all psychosomatic like that."

"I know," Hawkeye sighed. "And to think that Sidney came back and got the memory to resurface that I've been repressing all this time. Guess that cat got out of the bag."

"No kidding there," Trapper shook his head with that smirk. "And should I remind you about how you accidentally shot that North Korean in the foot?"

"You know, I thought that I already got over that one. I don't need any reminders, Trap," Hawkeye groaned. "That memory was as fresh as the time I went with Margaret, Andrew, and Klinger to the I-Company Battalion Aid Station."

"And most of us were wondering if you guys would make it back alive," Trapper sighed. "But yeah. You've been the craziest doctor to have shared the craziest quarters with me."

"Well let's talk about you, Trapper. It's not like things have been normal with you either," Hawkeye decided to bring up. "Remember how you wanted to adopt that Korean boy and send him home to Boston?"

"Don't remind me. I was hoping that I could make us a little less miserable in this hell hole," Trapper retorted. "I'm just lucky that the kid's mother was still alive."

"You also had that duodenal ulcer."

"Like I need to be reminded of that with all the dreck I have to eat here already. But what 'really' stinks about that was the fact the army changed their rules on us and now they don't send doctors home with ulcers. Sure did like the party you threw in the Officer's Club though. I appreciate it, even though it was all for nothing."

"Well it's like I say, I tried my best," Hawkeye said with a teasing smirk. "You had tried going AWOL on us a second time after the first time wasn't good enough. You were feeling homesick, and you wanted to be home to help your wife settle her mortgage since she was working two jobs."

"At both Fenway Park and Caffé Vittoria. And it was to make sure my daughters didn't have to go to daycare," Trapper said. "Sure glad you and the rest of the fellas here pitched in and donated money, sent a letter to my wife with the money, and she sent me a home film of how she and the girls are doing back at home."

"And that funny footage shown afterwards," Hawkeye laughed. "And to think this whole time, all I had to do was watch a film of your life in Boston to see you play football in just your swim trunks while looking built like a gun."

"If you're expecting a kiss from me, Hawk, forget it," Trapper deadpanned. "I'm already reserved."

"I know that," Hawkeye said slyly. "And then there was the gift that your wife sent you, which was all those Boston Globe newspapers that she sent from you. And they were from June too."

"Yeah. That reminds me, you still have one of them that you have to give back to me," Trapper exclaimed.

"I will Trapper. I will," Hawkeye promised. "I'm just making sure it stays in good condition."

"Nice to see that you're willing to take extra care of my belongings," Trapper said with a slightly sarcastic tone. "Wish I could say the same about that payroll, which a goat ended up eating."

"Okay. First of all Trap, the goat was not mine. It was Radar's." Hawkeye had his hands up defensively. "And second, I already made that whitewashing deal with Major Van Zandt. You were right there with me when it happened."

"Was I? Oh, I must've had amnesia when it happened," Trapper said in a sardonic tone. "I still remember the time that we got that pool after having won that contest together when it was too hot to even take a shower."

"Yeah, that was nice. And it's as if the fishing boat Henry got from that contest wasn't enough."

"Don't forget that we had to give up the swimming pool. Not that it matters, since Klinger pretty much destroyed the pool anyway."

"The MP wasn't happy about it. And Klinger still didn't get the Section 8 that he wanted."

"With how the war has ended, do you think it's important anymore."

"Not necessarily. Then again, I never wore a dress, bloomers, or nylons like the ones Klinger wears," Hawkeye proclaimed. "Just glad we'll be going home soon. And if there's something about this place that I will miss, it's that I got the pleasure of spending the war with someone who hates the war as much as I do."

"Not to mention all the nurses we slept with," Trapper brought up rather teasingly.

"Yeah. All those nurses were fresh for the picking in Korea," Hawkeye sighed. "I'll admit, those were crazy times that we've had here."

"Especially since we shared our quarters with Frank Burns," Trapper stated. "Who we know around here as Ferret Face, and wears the khakis and boots that give him athlete's foot and performs malpractice and cleans his socks with a scalpel."

Hawkeye looked like he was about ready to give a retort of his own.

But before he could, the door to the Swamp opened up. And entering the Swamp was Frank Burns, who went over to his side of the Swamp.

"Oh, lookie here, Trap. Speak of the devil himself," Hawkeye said snidely. "Hi, Frank."

"Hello Frank," Trapper said.

Frank huffed before looking in their direction. "I've heard that one before."

"Where did you head off to Frank?" Hawkeye asked as he and Trapper walked over to him.

"None of your beeswax," Frank answered sharply.

"Oh come on Frank. Ease up will you," Hawkeye told him. "We'll be going home soon."

Frank sighed before turning around to face them. "You know, it brings me great pleasure to know that I'll never have to see you two rats again after this. Just wait. I'll be back at my home in Fort Wayne, Indiana. And you two will probably be ship's doctors on a garbage scow somewhere."

"Just as long as they use one of those boats from Crabapple Cove that are used for fishing lobsters," Hawkeye proclaimed. "Like the one that Lyle Brown used before suffering from double hernia."

"Or if it happens to be one from Boston," Trapper added. "One that fishes up clams used for New England clam chowder. With baked beans to go with them."

"It makes me no never mind," Frank scoffed. "Just as long as you two are out of my hair forever."

"Lay off of us will ya Frank," Trapper suggested dryly. "Surely there's something about this war that you'll miss aside from calisthenics."

"Like all those times you took over as commander when Henry was away from the 4077," Hawkeye brought up. "Not to mention all the times you have impounded the still from us. I still remember how you acted as acting commander when Andrew first got here. And you made him dig 12 ditches for questioning the way you did things as punishment."

"That has to be the worst kind of punishment aside from a lynching," Trapper had a dry joking tone as he said that.

"Now look fellas, how I feel about how I treated Major Peterson that day and if I regret it is my business only. And I'd appreciate it if you keep those dirty noses to yourself," Frank defended. "Along with those pervertic thoughts of yours."

"Yeah. I still remember how Andrew yelled at you in the mess tent Frank," Hawkeye remarked. "While I'm thinking about it, let's bring up the time you had requisitioned some guns for us to use so this place could become more like the military and less like a hospital."

"Now those guns were for your 'own' good. There was no telling if those commies could ambush us with a surprise attack," Frank frowned. "You've seen what this war has brought us!"

"Kinda hard not to notice that Frank," Trapper retorted sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. "It was also hard not to notice the time when we thought you had hepatitis. Along with the second time you came down with anemia."

"And Andrew ended up taking care of you when you caught it for the second time this war," Hawkeye added.

"Well someone had to do it," Frank yelled. "You two bozos already took care of my hernia. So I figured it would've been nice to have someone like Peterson take over."

"As well as hearing about your sob story about your early life," Hawkeye retorted. "You should be lucky that Andrew is easy-going and reasonable with handling situations."

"Like getting shower curtains for the nurse's shower tent," Frank snorted. "Which didn't help since you two peeping Toms still peek through the tent to see those nurses with your obscene minds."

"Oh right, Frank. Thanks for reporting to us on that," Hawkeye then continued. "Let's not forget how you and Andrew went for a ride in that P-51 Mustang plane and got lost along the way, leaving us with a furious Margaret yearning for her fiance to return."

"And how about the time that you were moping around like a sad sack because no one remembered your birthday," Trapper brought up. "Hawkeye and I did a great setup of arguing to put you in a better mood."

"Which got ruined anyway," Frank scowled. "It was a good birthday gift for what?! Nothing!"

"I wouldn't say that Frank. You had that party in the mess tent afterwards," Hawkeye exclaimed. "Come on, admit it. You enjoyed that party as much as the rest of us did."

"Well..." Frank trailed off, unsure about what to say of that.

"That's good," Hawkeye said teasingly. "Because there's nothing like a war to bring the whole gang together."

"Oh, knock it off," Frank huffed.

"Relax Frank. We're only showing you our support," Trapper said dryly. "After all, it isn't our fault that your wife ended up with leukemia. And passed away from it."

"I'd prefer it if you didn't mention that to me again McIntyre," Frank sneered, feeling a bit touchy about that. "The same goes for you, Pierce."

"Okay. No need to get down our throats over it," Hawkeye defended. "Especially when you went AWOL shortly afterwards."

"And besides, you found another woman to occupy that loneliness," Trapper stated. "I'm still surprised that you managed to hit it off with Clarissa Roosevelt since you two met at Wangsan Beach."

"Not to mention the letters you two have been writing to each other," Hawkeye reminded him. "And how she visited the 4077th twice in one war."

"Right," Frank said. "Look, don't you two have something else to do?"

"We'd love to have something else to do, but the war is over," Hawkeye remarked. "No more casualties. No more sessions in O.R. And that means we don't have to go to work in this sewage pit."

"I think we should be asking you, Frank," Trapper wondered. "Shouldn't you have something to do?"

"Well, I don't know about you two creeps," Frank got up from his cot and walked away from the two Captains. "But I know exactly what I should be doing."

"And what would that be?" Hawkeye raised an eyebrow along with Trapper.

"Calling home to Fort Wayne. That's what, smart-alec," Frank declared. "I need to inform my mother that the war has ended and that I'm finally coming home."

"Great idea Frank," Hawkeye encouraged. "Be sure to tell her that you've experienced more shell shock from this war."

"Kind of like Corporal Richard Travis," Trapper added dryly.

"Oh, go soak your heads," Frank scoffed before heading for the door.

From there, he opened it up and stormed out of the Swamp as he headed straight for Radar's office. After he was gone, Hawkeye and Trapper exchanged looks before figuring out what they could do now.

"Why don't we see if we can contact our homes too, Trap?" Hawkeye suggested.

"I'm in if you are," Trapper shrugged casually.

"Might as well," Hawkeye sighed, standing up with Trapper. "I think my father should at least know from me that the war is over and not find out from the local newspaper in Crabapple Cove. Besides, it would be good for him to hear my voice again after I've been stuck in this sewage pit for so long."

"I hear you. I could listen to the voice of my wife Louise right now," Trapper moaned. "It's been so long since I've heard from here. And I'd like to tell our girls, Kathy and Becky that their daddy is coming home to Boston. They'll be excited when they see me walk through that door."

"Kind of like how my dad will react when I walk through that door when I get back to Crabapple Cove," Hawkeye stretched his arms. "Well, let's not keep the line waiting."

"The waiting line, or the phone line?" Trapper queried.

"Both," Hawkeye answered. "Now let's go. The sooner we make those calls, the better."

"You said it, I didn't," Trapper yawned.

Not saying anything else, the two captains left the Swamp and headed straight for Radar's office so they could use the phone. Of course, they'll have to wait since Radar is already using the phone, and Frank will probably use it afterwards. And what they didn't realize was that they wouldn't be the only ones who'd need to use the phone. They would find out about that soon enough...

IN ANDREW'S TENT:

While that was going on, we see Andrew in his tent, as the vast majority of his stuff was already packed up in boxes. With some of his more essential stuff put into either his footlocker or in his dufflebag. Still, he decided to go through a few things that he had put into his dufflebag since there were a few things of interest that he had in his possession.

As he was doing that, he couldn't help but think about how he had grown up and become a man up to this point, starting from the moment where he set foot in Korea. He was just one of the many people who got drafted to Korea to take part in the war, or rather, be stationed at a medical field hospital near the village of Uijeongbu.

He remembered stepping out of Gimpo, which was located in Seoul, with his Class A uniform on and his baggage of stuff that he brought with him. He had taken in his surroundings until Radar arrived to pick him up and escort him to the M*A*S*H 4077.

His first few days in Korea and at the 4077 were a little rough, considering that he had to adjust to the tent that was set up for him. He had been through it all since he had been there, from being Officer of the Day to going on that trip to pick up some hydrocortisone.

And of course, he ended up getting himself a girl, who he eventually got engaged to after returning from Tokyo with her. Even after they started dating, Andrew recalled a lot of things that he had been put through in Korea, not letting anything get to him, no matter how stressful or tragic it was.

He had continued looking through his stuff in the dufflebag until he came across a small case. Taking it out of the bag, Andrew opened it to see what was in there.

It was the Korean Surgical Achievement Award, proudly given to him by General Mitchell, upon saving his son twice, in addition to having achieved 14 other successful operations prior. Andrew couldn't help but smile modestly as he shook his head.

And to think that I was the only one in this camp who was given this award. Even though it was nothing, I am grateful for having earned this medal. Andrew thought as he put it to the side and continued looking through the dufflebag.

He found two more things that he took out. One of them was the shrapnel fragments in a plastic baggy that was from the shellfire that struck his thigh. Andrew still shivered upon remembering that, as he was lucky to have been saved by the medical crew.

And the other thing was a small box that he opened up. It happened to be the purple heart that he was given from being injured from that shellfire in the line of duty. He couldn't have gotten this gift if it wasn't for Margaret, who made sure that he applied for one since she felt like he earned it.

I guess I did deserve to earn this purple heart that day. Andrew thought. I 'really' deserve to have Margaret in my life. I look forward to us getting married.

Andrew smiled at that as he put both of the stuff to the side and looked through his duffle bag some more. He even remembered the time that he had his wisdom tooth removed. Even though he never did get the wisdom tooth that was removed from his mouth, the memory was still fresh on his mind.

Because he no longer had that painful feeling in his jaw, he was able to eat normally again, and he didn't have to keep drinking bottles of aperitif at night to ease the pain when no one was around. That came as a relief to him.

After seeing that there was nothing else in there that caught his attention, Andrew put the case with the Korean Surgical Achievement Award, the plastic baggy with the shrapnel from the shellfire in it, and the box with his Purple Heart back into the duffle bag. Afterwards, he zipped it up, took it off of his desk, and placed it right on top of his footlocker.

He then turned around to look towards his cot, which had all of his boxes and his suitcases on top of it. He never thought that the Korean War would end, but it did. And he was going to get married to an attractive blonde woman, so it was worth it.

He was taken out of his thoughts when he heard a knock at his door. Andrew cleared his throat and hollered. "Who is it?"

"It's just me Andrew," that voice belonged to Margaret, and she sounded like she wanted to see him.

"Come in Margaret," Andrew said happily.

With that, the door opened and Margaret set foot into his tent. She had closed the door behind her, and from the smile on her face, she seemed to be in a really good mood. Andrew caught on to this and smiled in return.

"Well Margaret, did you get all of your stuff packed up in boxes," Andrew asked. "And you got your duffle bag and footlocker stuffed up with your personal belongings?"

"You bet I did," Margaret confirmed. "Everything in my tent that belongs to me has been packed up, and there's nothing of mine lying around in there, aside from some boxes, my footlocker, and my duffle bag."

"That's good," Andrew smiled. "All of my stuff has been packed up too."

"I've noticed," Margaret said slyly before giving him another smirk. "Oh uh, Andrew? There's something else that I want to give to you since we'll be married soon."

"Sure," Andrew gave her a curious look. "What is it?"

Margaret didn't say anything. Instead, she took out a small photo that she stuff in her shirt, right in front of her breasts, as she handed it over to him.

Looking interested in this, Andrew turned the photo around to see what it was. As soon as he got one look at it, he felt a blush form on his cheeks, and he felt something stir inside of his pants.

"That was a photo of me that I gave to Frank a while back, before I met you," Margaret explained calmly. "He had just found it in his footlocker and returned it to me. Seeing that we're gonna be married soon, I think it would be best if you keep it darling."

"W-Wow...dear..." Andrew stuttered. "This is you wearing a bikini..."

"That's right," she nodded.

"You know," Andrew complimented her as he put it in his pocket. "You look really beautiful in it. I find you to be very attractive in a bikini."

"I know," Margaret smirked. "And coming from you honey, that's sweet."

"Yeah," Andrew chuckled a little as he stared at her eyes, with her doing the same to him.

She couldn't help but admire his emerald green eyes. She also couldn't help but think of all the things that they'd done in Korea since they started dating. To think that this handsome man that she was going to marry has done so much for her, and has helped her out several times.

For starters, she remembered the time she got that letter from Trisha Spalding that she was in training with, and how it upset her and that she wanted to be transferred from the 4077. Even though she was drunk from all the rye, gin, and vodka that she had drank that night, Andrew was the only one who gave her any support in her decision.

She winded up staying in the end, and it might've had to do with how Andrew helped her through it all. Not to mention the first time they 'actually' kissed mouth-to-mouth, even if she didn't mean to do it because she was drunk.

She also remembered the time that Andrew gave her $240 for her sister's wedding when Frank refused to do so. She couldn't have been anymore happier, and she was willing to take part in the games being held at the Polly Alder cookout with him after things had been cleared up. Needless to say, she had a lot of fun with him that day.

Aside from that, there was the time that she had athlete's foot and Andrew helped her with that. The time that Hawkeye and Trapper pulled those heinous pranks on her and Andrew aided her with getting back at them for it, twice.

There was also her sister's unexpected visit to the 4077, the time she got laryngitis and all of the times Andrew defended her from shellfire and other heavy artillery, including that one time that they were stranded together in the middle of the Korean woods.

And of course, there was the time Andrew saved her life when she was drowning in the creek that they were fishing in on that boat Henry won in that contest. He had gone to the point where he performed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on her to save her.

She was 'absolutely' grateful for his heroic and manly rescue, which she found to be daring. She was surprised and impressed when he revealed that he had a crush on her, and she remembers how the both of them got drunk when they were making plans for a future together. But one thing in that scenario stood out for her.

I still remember that rose with the paper I attached to it and sprayed it with the perfume that I left for him as a gift in his tent. And I recall what it was that I wrote on the paper too. Margaret thought, a seductive grin forming on her face.

To,

Major Andrew Peterson,

I'm leaving this gift just for you. I hope you love the rose and the perfume that I spray onto this note. I did it all for you, Andrew. I hope you enjoy it.

Love,

Major Margaret Houlihan

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Just thinking about it made her smile proudly at how she won this wonderful man's attention. And then later, they were engaged when they were in Tokyo when Andrew proposed to her when he gave her that ruby engagement ring that he bought just for her.

And she got Andrew a similar ring that had a sapphire instead sometime later, which he appreciated. And now that the war was over, they could begin the wedding plans, effective immediately.

Andrew took notice of Margaret's smirk and smiled back in return. It was clear that she had something on her mind, and he had a feeling that he knew what it was about too.

"Judging by the look on your face, you seem to have something on your mind," Andrew commented teasingly. "It's obvious that your in a good mood about something."

"Oh Andrew," Margaret sighed dreamily. "I'm just thinking back to everything that we've been through in this war, and that we have been together."

"I know what you mean Margaret," Andrew admitted. "We have been through a lot, and it has helped us with getting closer since we started dating. I even have that tattoo on the side of my right shoulder to prove."

"You know it," Margaret laughed. "That one time that we went to Wangsan Beach, I had you take your shirt off, and took photos with my Polaroid camera of you doing poses by showing off your muscles with your shirt off, I did enjoy that."

"I bet," Andrew let out a hearty laugh. "With how you were drooling at my chest and the six-pack abs on my stomach, it seemed as if you were going crazy for me."

"No kidding there," Margaret said calmly. "I also enjoyed the R&R we took in Tokyo when we got the wrong dog tags and duffle bags."

"Even though we had amnesia and we thought we were Michael Brownson and Jessica Belle," Andrew smirked. "Yeah, that was a lot of fun."

"I was embarrassed when we got our memories back," Margaret walked over and leaned her face to his. "But I enjoy the thought of you being a professional football player since you are strong enough to be one, Mr. Big Strong Man."

"Yeah. And the thought of you being a professional cheerleader was something I enjoyed too, seeing that your so attractive, doll-face," Andrew proclaimed. "It reminds me of the time we had those M*A*S*H Olympic Games at the 4077th while the 1952 Olympic Games were going on in Helsinki."

"Oh yes. And it was great for us to have some extra time off from this place where we had a lot of fun together," Margaret admitted before asking. "Remember when Colonel Flagg came to the 4077 and mistaken you for a communist?"

"Oh yes. And it turned out to be Corporal Murdock, who had made that day rough for me five times," Andrew recalled. "I found out my pants were washed with starch, I got soap in my eyes when the pump to the soap dispenser popped up, I nearly got shot at by a rifle, a jeep crashed into my tent, nearly killing me, and worst of all, the latrine I was using blew up with me in it, even though I survived."

"Oh yes. I haven't forgotten about what happened to you that day, darling," Margaret remarked calmly. "But it's a good thing that he was caught, and the MPs took him away."

"Kinda like how the MPs took away Corporal Hitalski when he threatened to beat up Frank for not giving him that promotion," Andrew stated before saying in a dark and bitter tone. "And let's not forget how the MPs took away Sgt Larry Clarkson and his two comrades; Corporal Smith and Corporal Murphy, after Larry tried to, well...have his way with you in your tent."

"Yeah. I don't think I'll forget that creep, who I think should be hung by a rope," Margaret said with an uncomfortable frown at that memory before smirking at another one that came up. "But it was still very manly of you to barge in, pull him off and punch him in the left eye and nose. And how you bellowed at him as a real man should."

"Well, what was I to do," Andrew queried in that low-tone manly voice. "I wasn't gonna let anyone do anything horrible to my beautiful fiancee."

"Oh, I knew you'd say that darling," Margaret beamed. "It's as manly as the time that you fired that machine gun of yours at those dirty North Koreans who kept firing away at us and took out their tank, howitzers, and two of their jeeps. That was 'really' brave of you, and it's something a real man would've done."

"Hey. Anything to keep my beautiful girl safe," Andrew remarked confidentially. "I've done a good job with that throughout the war."

"You sure have," Margaret grinned. "Remember during that one winter night when it was cold outside, and we slept together in your tent?"

"Of course," Andrew laughed heartily. "We've slept together in my tent and your tent several times through this war. And now we're gonna be sleeping together more often when we get back to our new home, my dear."

"You said it, darling," Margaret teased while smiling before embracing him. "And we're gonna do that when we're done with our honeymoon."

"That's right," Andrew gave her a coy smirk. "And we'll be using that million-dollar check that my mom gave me too once I cash it."

"And we'll also have enough to get that swimming pool and two-car garage too, along with all the furniture and decorations we'll be getting," Margaret cooed, giving him that sly smile. "And you can use what's left over to spoil me with everything a girl dreams of having."

"You read me loud and clear like a book toots," Andrew said seductively. "Do you want to kiss me as we say million together?"

"Please do handsome," Margaret begged as they went ahead and did so.

"A million!" They beamed in unison as they kissed mouth to mouth for a few seconds.

Their lips separated as they laughed and looked at each other, remaining in an embrace.

"Please say that again with me Andrew and kiss me on the mouth!" Margaret yelped in pleasure.

"A million!" They chimed together again right as they shared another kiss on the mouth.

Once they did that, they laughed some more before sighing dreamily, and then they smiled. Both of them showed the other their pretty white teeth, which were compared to rays of sunlight.

"Margaret? I don't think I'll ever get sick of that," Andrew admitted.

"Me neither," she agreed. "We'll be Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Peterson when we get to our new home."

"Yeah," he sighed. "That reminds me, I 'really' need to call my mom, like I promised when the war ended. I had read in a recent letter that she got a new cat living with her and Socks; who is my other cat."

"I have to get a hold of my sister," Margaret admitted. "She'll be eager to meet up with us in the states when we're done with our honeymoon. She'll be helping us with the house."

"That's great," Andrew smiled. "Let's not keep them waiting. Let's head to Radar's office, my dear."

"You said it, darling," Margaret gleamed in excitement.

At that moment, the two of them left Andrew's tent as they were planning on calling Andrew's mom and Margaret's sister in Radar's office. But they'll have to wait to use it since four other people got to the office first. And there was no telling how long Radar's call to his folks was going to take. They'll just have to be patient to use the phone...

IN KLINGER'S TENT:

Meanwhile, Klinger was in his tent, going through his entire dress collection and looking to see which ones he no longer needed, and which dress he was going to go home in. Throughout the whole war, he had collected all of these dresses in an attempt to get out of the army.

He still couldn't believe what he heard last night from Panmunjom about how the war ended. All this time, he was trying to get out of the army by Section 8, only for each attempt to either fail or backfire on him. Some of them worked better than others, but none of them helped get him where he wanted to be; on a plane heading straight for Toledo.

And now that the war was officially over, everyone was going home. Which meant Klinger's Section 8 schemes were no longer necessary for this war. Nonetheless, he was still going to leave Korea in the same manner that he planned on doing it all along; in a dress, to make him look like a psycho.

He recalled trying to convince General Barker when he pointed a rifle at him in the compound while wearing that WAC uniform in the middle of the night. And then later that night, he tried it again, with no clothes on. Klinger could only shake his head as he remembered that one.

There were many times he tried to convince higher ranked office that he deserved a Section 8, like the time he acted like a cheerleader in front of General Mitchell when Andrew earned that medal for the Korean Surgical Achievement Award. All he got out of it was being dragged off the stage by a couple of MPs.

Then there was the time when General Steele stopped by the 4077th, and he wanted him to see how unfit he was to be in the army. But Klinger didn't count on General Steele being crazier than he is and mistook him for Marjorie, who happened to be his wife.

He recalls trying to act like a psycho in front of General MacArthur when the general was stopping by the 4077, only to be dragged off by the MPs...again. He did see MacArthur driving by in a jeep while he was dressed as the Statue of Liberty. The general gave him a casual salute, but not a Section 8 discharge.

There were many times when he tried getting out of the army, such as the time he pretended it was summer when it was winter. The time where he pretended it was winter when it was summer, which was the same time Hawkeye and Trapper got that swimming pool. The time he tried convincing Sherman Potter that he deserves a Section 8, only for him to dismiss it as horse hockey.

The time when he tried eating himself to a discharge, only to get a bad stomachache. He even recalled trying to fly out of Korea with a hang glider, and he tried it a second time when Andrew was the Officer of the Day; both ended with him crashing nearby. And of course, there was the time when he tried to eat a jeep just to get home, which also gave him an upset stomach.

There were a couple of occasions that seemed to be Section 8 attempts, even though Klinger didn't initially intend them to be seen as such. For instance, he recalled the time when he lost his hearing thanks to a shell firing that took place in the compound. He didn't know if he had an inner ear concussion, or had suffered from tinnitus at the time, but Klinger was truly upset about it, He had wanted to start hearing again.

Thankfully, he was able to hear again, all thanks to the care that the doctors had put into helping him rest and heal on his own. Even though he was upset that he wouldn't go home from deafness and pretending to lose his hearing a second time wouldn't work, Klinger was glad that he was able to hear again.

And of course, there was the time when he got a letter from, Laverne, saying she wants to marry him. He had wanted to go back home to Toledo to get married to her, but Henry refused to dismiss him from the 4077th, feeling that it was another Section 8 attempt.

However, he did decide to hold the wedding of Klinger and Laverne in his office, thanks to the use of that ham radio, with the ham operator BS2 located in Des Moines, Iowa.

Thanks to wiring Laverne at the chapel in Toledo, getting her through the ham radio, and getting Father Mulcahy to give the wedding in Henry's office, the wedding was a success, and Klinger was officially married to Laverne.

Now that he was going home, he looked forward to seeing his wife in person for the first time since before they were married. It would be nice to spend his life with her in Toledo, where he felt he belongs.

And to think all this time, I could've just waited for the war to end, instead of pulling these Section 8 attempts for nothing. Klinger thought. I still have to wonder which dresses I should bring with me, which ones I should get rid of, and which dress I should wear while heading home to Toledo.

Klinger kept looking through his dresses. He didn't have to worry about packing everything else, since that's already been taken care of. Several boxes of his belongings from Toledo were filled, his footlocker was stuffed with his personal belongings, including letters he got from Laverne, and his duffle bag had everything else that's his packed into it.

Hmmm, now what should I wear? Klinger did some thinking as he looked through the Klinger Collection. My best Shirley Temple? No. That one stands out amongst the rest of my dresses. My Polly Alder? I only wore that one a couple of times, but I dunno if it'll fit. I could go with Scarlett O'Hara, my best Vivien Leigh. But then the Colonel will think I'm getting married again. There's my Ingrid Bergman from the time we were supposed to watch Casablanca in the mess tent. My best Anne Shirley dress from when we watched Anne of Green Gables. Rita Hayworth. Myrna Loy. Carole Lombard. Marilyn Monroe. Too many to choose from...

Klinger did some more thinking before another thought crossed his mind. Of course, I could always go with something basic. After all, I'll just be going back to Toledo to see Laverne and the rest of the Klinger Clan. My parents. My brothers Hakeem and Maurice. My sister Yvonne. My female cousin who we call Num-Num. My Aunt Fatima. And there are my 13 uncles, including Hasan, Zak, Jake, Gus, Bob, Achmed, Abdul, Habib, Amo, Harry, Eustis, and Shlemiel.

I still remember the time that my folks sent me that film to the 4077 to commemorate Lebanese Independence Day and to celebrate our heritage. Klinger sighed at that thought. It'll be great to see all of them again.

With that, Klinger decided to go with a simple dress that he kept in the Klinger Collection, a teal-colored spaghetti strapped dress with teal nylons, white gloves, teal high heels, and a teal-colored purse. He smiled at this, feeling that this was the perfect choice to wear while heading home.

"Perfect," Klinger admired it. "Nothing says Section 8 better than wearing a simple dress such as this one. I'll be able to head home in this for sure. Even though the war is officially over."

He then did some more thinking. He wasn't sure what to do with the rest of the Klinger Collection. But he supposes that it can wait for a bit. He had to phone Laverne back in Toledo that he was heading home. Surely, there wasn't a better time to do that since all of his other stuff has been packed up, right?

Yeah. I can phone my Laverne and let her know that her Maxwell is heading home at last, since the war is over. She'll be happy to hear my voice again. Klinger mused in his thoughts with a smirk. I just hope that I don't have to wait too long to use the phone.

Of course, Klinger had no idea that others were waiting to use the phone too, as he left his tent and went for Radar's office. It would be a long wait for him to use the phone, but despite that, it would be worth speaking to Laverne again...

IN FATHER MULCAHY'S TENT:

It turns out that Father Mulcahy was in his tent, as he got all of his belongings packed up in boxes, and his footlocker and duffle bag was stuffed up too. This includes his bibles, his punching bag, and boxing gloves, the robes that usually wears during the religious services held on Sunday, the crucifix that was placed outside of his tent which was a decoration, and his other personal belongings.

The Chaplain of the 4077th was truly blessed and grateful for peace being declared in Korea, and that these poor souls that live in this country could be given new beginnings in their lives. This includes the 100,000 orphans that lost their homes and families during this war.

But most importantly, the people who have been drafted to Korea will be able to get back home and be with their loved ones. Father Mulcahy was looking forward to settling down in Philadelphia as a simple priest. He had recalled a lot of the mishaps that happened here, and the times he helped out around the M*A*S*H 4077. But a couple of instances stood out for him.

First of all, there was the time he went to a Battalion Aid Station with Radar to pick up a man with a serious chest wound, who needed professional surgery performed on him at the M*A*S*H 4077. He might've done it behind the Colonel's back, but he wanted to make himself useful to the camp, and prove that he can be far more than just a simple priest.

When heading back to the 4077, Father Mulcahy and Radar had to stop in the middle of the road when they heard something wrong with the wounded soldier; where his tongue was swollen and he wasn't breathing, so they phoned the 4077 for some help.

With Hawkeye giving the Father the step-by-step procedure over the phone, and with Radar handing him the right tools for the job, Father Mulcahy was able to perform a tracheotomy on the soldier, as a way to tie him over until the surgeon operated on him.

Father Mulcahy was grateful that he brought that Tom Mix pocketknife with him when he decided to go pick the soldier up with Radar. Otherwise, there was no telling if the man could've been saved at all.

Then there was the time when Private Joseph Brownson had his left leg completely amputated due to having developed gas gangrene in the left leg. Brownson had then confided to Father Mulcahy that he had lost his faith in God, and at the time he was told, the Father didn't know exactly how to handle that problem.

After talking with some of the people stationed there, and having been advised by Andrew, Father Mulcahy was able to sit down with Private Brownson and had a nice personal talk with him about his loss of faith. He had recited some pages from the bible to him about now losing his faith in the Lord, and that he should have trust in Him that His plan is good.

Fortunately, the Father got through to Private Brownson by the following day, when he was being shipped out of the 4077th and was going to be heading straight for Seoul. What Joseph told him that day sounded like a blessing to Father Mulcahy. He was glad that Joseph made that decision himself.

But what stood out for him was the time when he talked to one of the wounded Greek patients about his interest in Greek literature. He had recalled talking to Lt. 'Odysseus' Stavros, and they had talked about The Odyssey, and how Odysseus got his nickname based on the hero in The Odyssey. The Father was flattered that he confided in him about that and that he felt it was a splendid talk he had with the Lieutenant.

Good heavens. And to think that I can cherish all of the lives and souls that were saved, and all the prayers are given out to those soldiers wounded in combat that require medical attention and have families back home. Father Mulcahy thought. It is a blessing that they officially declared peace and we can all head back to the states, where we belong, in person and spirit.

It was then another thought crossed the Father's mind. It involved his sister Katherine. When he got that letter from his sister that one time, he was unsure about what to think about how she wanted to leave the order to start a family.

She was such a fantastic nun, and she took the name, Maria Angelica. God had smiled at her from the start. After having been teaching for quite some time, and taking a fond interest in children, she had felt that she could 'possibly' like one of her own.

Father Mulcahy was unsure if he should bless her decision when she wanted his approval. However, after witnessing how much Chim Sa adores her son, Father Mulcahy felt that it was the best idea to bless her decision by giving his approval.

This came as a result of the Father presiding over a Jewish circumcision ceremony for the Korean-boy son, with Radar communicating ala morse code with the rabbi of the U.S.S Essex, which he relayed to Father Mulcahy in the OR by radio.

Just thinking of his sister made him wonder how she was doing back in the states now that she wasn't in the order as a nun. Since the war was over, it would be nice to be able to talk with his sister about how he was coming home and to speak to her over the telephone again for the first time in months.

You know, I think I should give my sister a call. It would be truly a blessing for her to hear from me again. Father Mulcahy thought. I can only imagine her spirit being lifted when she finds out that I'm coming home now that the war has ended. This has been truly a gift bestowed upon us by thy Lord himself. And I had held faith in Him this whole time, even with all the spirits who departed in this war. All the prayers that we could give to Him have been answered.

Without another thought, Father Mulcahy sighed as he walked over to the door, and stepped out of his tent. He decided to head to Radar's office to see if he can get through to his sister. Even if he'll have to wait a while before he could use the phone next, the Father wouldn't complain about it. For as the good Lord had once told him; patience is a virtue...

IN RADAR'S OFFICE:

It was at this point, that Radar's office was now crowded with several people. These people consisted of Frank, Hawkeye, Trapper, Andrew, Margaret, and Klinger. Radar had just got done talking with his folks back at home, and was now working on getting a line channeled over to Fort Wayne.

While he waited for Sparky to get him through, everyone else was heard talking in unison. It was then Father Mulcahy stepped into the office, seeing how there were already people in there. The Father felt that he might've missed out on something if the senior medical crew (bar Henry), and Klinger, were gathering in Radar's office like this.

"Why folks, hello there," Father Mulcahy greeted before asking. "What seems to be all the commotion?"

"Oh hello there Father," Hawkeye greeted him. "Did you get an invitation to come to Radar's office?"

"No. I don't suppose I got one," Father Mulcahy looked a little confused by this. "Was I supposed to get one?"

"Relax Father. We didn't get any invitations either," Trapper said sardonically. "We're just as surprised as you are."

"We're all waiting to use the phone Father," Andrew explained. "Each of us has folks back at home that we'd like to call since the war is over."

"Oh. I see. Well, isn't that a coincidence?" Father Mulcahy exclaimed. "I happen to have wanted to get a hold of my sister by the phone. But it seems to me that you guys have been bestowed with the same idea."

"Well stand in line Father. You'll get your turn once the person in charge of this phone delicatessen gets to you after the rest of us," Hawkeye encouraged. "Better yet, take a seat in the waiting room and read one of our magazines while the fine doctors take your order."

"Be sure the magazine isn't a loaded hand pistol," Trapper deadpanned.

"I think you can count on that not happening anytime soon, Trapper," Father Mulcahy said sheepishly before standing to the side.

"I just can't wait to get through to Toledo, and to Laverne," Klinger remarked eagerly. "We haven't spoken through the phone since we got married."

"Well you'll just have to wait your turn Corporal," Margaret said sharply. "I'm going to be married to Andrew Peterson over here, and I'd like to get a hold of my sister once Andrew talks to his mother about the million-dollar check she gave him."

"Don't worry Klinger," Andrew said. "You'll get your turn once Margaret and I are done with our calls."

"And your calls will be done after my call and the call of my comrade over here, Mr. and Mrs. Sweetheart," Hawkeye said rather teasingly.

"At this rate, none of us will be able to get through to any of our folks," Trapper grumbled before turning his attention to Frank. "Hey Frank, lay off the phone and hurry it up will ya? My kids aren't getting younger!"

"Neither is my father," Hawkeye deadpanned.

"Don't rush me, McIntyre! We're going as fast as we can with this!" Frank yelled in defense. "It's not my fault that the phone is taking this long to get through to the states!"

"Maybe it's because many others out there are wanting to speak to our families back at home," Hawkeye suggested dryly.

"Hmph," Frank huffed before turning towards Radar. "Sergeant, have they gotten through to Fort Wayne yet!? What's taking them so long to forward a simple call to my home!?"

"Quiet Major Burns!" Radar hissed. "Sparky's doin' the best he can! Ya can't go an' rush on with these kinds of things!"

"Well hurry it up," Frank sneered. "I'd like to use the phone buster."

"Because if the line doesn't move any faster, we'll all likely die from boredom while still in Korea, waiting to talk to our folks," Hawkeye said wryly with a yawn.

"And most of us happen to be doctors around here," Trapper added.

It was at this moment that Henry stepped out of his office, having heard the commotion in the office next door. He had been thinking about what General Clayton said to him, regarding that documentary they talked about during the Annual Korean Footrace that was held not too long ago.

He had dealt with a lot of things at the 4077th, like the time that Frank declared a Prohibition at the camp, banning all alcohol from being consumed. There were several other instances, such as preparing for General MacArthur's visit, having to bug out of their sector, the problems that came up from playing poker 18 nights in a row, and Hawkeye and Trapper needing elevators to perform 'aural' surgery on a patient who had tinnitus.

He also recalled how they ran low on blood supply, needing to deliver the baby of a Korean woman, the interview held there by Clete Roberts, being stuck with a motorcycle before Andrew and Margaret took it off of his hands, and many other instances that he lost track of.

But what General Clayton suggested to him about the documentary 'really' takes the cake.

And I thought having Private Daniel Baker being given a nose job by Pierce's friend; Major Stanley Robbins was crazy. Henry thought before shaking his head and then asking them a question.

"Hey, what's going on in here," Henry wondered. "I can hear all the commotion from my office next door."

"Just a simple gathering in Radar's office is all Henry," Hawkeye said snidely. "Just without the drinks."

"Take a seat and join the club if you like Henry," Trapper encouraged. "Just don't expect any bourbon right now."

"I already know that. I specifically made sure the bourbon was served tonight," Henry groaned before he turned to Radar. "Radar!?"

"Later sir," Radar responded, putting his index finger up towards him to show that he was busy.

"Alrighty. Welp, if the rest of you yahoos aren't busy right now, I've got some important news to share with you," Henry remarked, turning his attention to everyone else.

"What important news? The war is over, and we can all head home," Hawkeye snorted.

"Well Pierce, it just so happens that I had gotten off the phone with General Clayton quite some time ago," Henry proclaimed. "What he told me was something of the utmost importance."

"Well, don't leave us guessing Colonel," Andrew was curious by this, as was Margaret. "What did the General have to tell you?"

"Surely you must tell us if it's important," Margaret said calmly.

"It is important Major, and this is what it is," Henry pulled up his pants and got straight to the point. "The General will be coming down to our compound today since he has this idea that we should make another documentary in this camp; the ol' four-oh-double-seven, before we head home. Oh, and filming for it will begin later this afternoon."

"Oh, really Henry? We're going to film the Yankee Doodle Doctor again," Hawkeye looked in amusement. "Don't worry, Trapper and I will play Harpo and Groucho Marx again."

"Now hold on a second. There will be no clowning around with filming the documentary, like what happened last time," Henry declared. "The General wants the documentary to be about how this war has impacted us as doctors, surgeons, nurses, corpsmen, and as enlisted men."

"I'll say. I think the film needs to be done over myself," Frank griped. "The last one was an embarrassment to the General. And the narration that I made for the film was all for nothing."

"I wouldn't say that Frank," Hawkeye smirked. "We did include your narration into the film."

"Yes. But it was done while you guys went about with your usual antics and obscene schemes for the documentary," Frank sneered. "It was an outrage. A disaster even!"

"Some gratitude Hawk," Trapper gave him a look. "We used the narration that he pulled teeth and bones to rehearse in the previous film, and this is the thanks we get."

"Simmer down people. No need to get excited," Henry got their attention again. "After all, the General wants it to not be a war propaganda and promoting the enjoyments of war."

"Probably because there is no war left in Korea," Hawkeye retorted.

"And he also would like for Major Peterson here to be a part of the documentary, along with the rest of you yahoos," Henry continued, ignoring Hawkeye entirely. "This includes Major Houlihan, Major Burns, Corporal Klinger, and Father Mulcahy."

"Well glorioski Colonel. That would be a wonderful idea," Father Mulcahy expressed gratitude for this idea. "Perhaps some copies will be sent to each of us in the states by the time it's been completed."

"Well Father, now that you mention it, the General and I have agreed to that," Henry said sheepishly. "Each of you will get a copy of the documentary shipped to the states, so you can show your families and loved ones how the Korean War affected everyone involved."

"Including the generals, colonels, and dictators who started these wars in the first place," Hawkeye deadpanned.

"That is a terrific idea, sir," Klinger beamed. "Do you think I can wear my best Vivien Leigh for the documentary? Just to show that I am unfitted to be in any other war?"

"That'll be fine Klinger. Just don't expect any Section 8 discharges from this," Henry sighed. "Not that it matters, since the war's over."

"I'm aware of that sir. I've heard the announcement last night," Klinger said. "Not to mention it'll be in all the papers soon."

"Including those that haven't been read yet," Hawkeye said dryly.

"I'll be sure to get a copy of the paper when it hits the shelf," Trapper remarked.

"Alrighty then, since that's been taken care of," Henry decided to move on. "What are you folks doing in Radar's office anyway?"

"We're waiting to use the phone Colonel," Andrew answered. "All of us are waiting to get a hold of our folks and loved ones back home in the states."

"The Major's right Colonel," Frank admitted. "I, for one, am waiting for the Sergeant here to get me through to Fort Wayne. I'm getting a hold of my mother."

"Just don't tell her we sent for you or that we pulled all those pranks on you throughout the war," Hawkeye teased him for a second. "Anyway Henry, I'm waiting to get a hold of my dad in Crabapple Cove. Probably wondering how I've been all this time during this war."

"I want to speak to my wife and our girls, who are waiting for me back in Boston," Trapper said afterwards. "I want Kathy and Becky to know that their daddy is coming home."

"I am waiting to call my mother, who lives in South Carolina," Andrew stated. "Gonna tell her the war is over and we're all heading home. And I'm gonna tell her about the million-dollar check and that I'm getting married to Margaret."

"And just like my darling Andrew, I have to use the phone too," Margaret answered, keeping that straight look on her face. "I'm gonna get a hold of my sister. She'll be helping us settle into the new house once Andrew and I are done with our honeymoon."

"Speaking of honeymoons that I should've been given, I'm looking forward to calling Laverne," Klinger declared. "Once I'm back in Toledo, Laverne and I can have an official honeymoon of our own."

"Yes. And as for me Colonel, I'm waiting to get a hold of my sister Kathy," Father Mulcahy confessed sheepishly. "I know we've written letters to each other on occasions, but we haven't talked over the phone since I've been in Korea. God bless her for praying that I'll make it back to the states alive, in person, and spirit. Peace being declared in Korea has been a blessing to us all, and I'd like her to know about it."

"Well, how about that? That's a pretty swell idea," Henry admitted. "Our loved ones are probably wondering what's been going on with us all this time, and even though the war being over will be all over the papers, we should tell our folks about it by telephone."

"You got it, Henry," Hawkeye remarked. "And it didn't take having you look through the encyclopedia to figure that one out."

"Now lay off Pierce. I happen to have loved ones too that are waiting for me back at home," Henry informed him. "Don't you think that I miss them as much as the rest of you miss your folks at home?"

"I think some of us got the notice when we looked at the bulletin board this morning," Trapper said sarcastically.

Henry could only shake his head and roll his eyes at that. Before he could say something else, Radar had heard a voice from the other line, which got him to react accordingly.

"Huh? What's that Sparky? Yeah? Yeah? You do? Got through?!" Radar yelped through the headset before taking them off and facing Frank. "Major Burns? Sparky got through to Fort Wayne Indiana. Can forward the line over to there right now."

"Yes, Sgt. O'Reilly! Forward the line over to Fort Wayne!" Frank yelled.

"Roger," Radar obliged as he spoke to Sparky through the headset again. "Yes, Sparky. Forward this line over to Fort Wayne. Yes. I'll hold. They'll reach Fort Wayne in no time, uh, Major Burns."

"Well, at least someone is making progress," Hawkeye remarked in a rather snide tone.

"Be a bit longer," Radar declared as he waited with everyone else.

At that moment, Henry had gotten an idea. Since these people were working on calling their folks back in the states, what's stopping him from calling Lorraine back in Bloomington Illinois? They were going home soon, and he wanted his wife to know that he was coming home from him, rather than finding out for herself from The Daily Bloomington Pantagraph.

With that in mind, Henry went over to Radar and then said. "Hey Radar?"

"Call your wife in Bloomington. Get the call transferred over there. Once everyone else's had their turns with callin'," Radar finished for him. "Yes, sir."

"Righty-o," Henry was about to walk back into his office before he turned around to get Radar's attention again. "Oh, and Radar?"

"Sir?" Radar looked curiously at him.

"Good work handling your company clerk duties like you usually do," Henry complimented him.

"I sure would think so too sir," Radar admitted sheepishly.

Henry said nothing else as he turned around and went right back into his office. He was going to wait in there patiently for the phone to be free so he could get a hold of his wife back in Bloomington.

And then there was the documentary that was to be filmed at the 4077 today, thanks to General Clayton. This was probably going to be the last major event to take place in Korea, courtesy of the U.S Army, and the M*A*S*H 4077. So he hopes that his crew could make the best of it, and see through it that the documentary is a success for everyone.

But he decided to put that to the side for now, as well as calling Lorraine about how he's coming home. He'll handle both of that stuff when the time came for it. For now, he sat behind his desk and waited patiently. The Korean War was finally over, so it was going to be worth the wait for him. That was a guarantee...

END OF CHAPTER 91...

Alright. That's the end of this chapter. I told you this chapter would have several references to the previous chapters in this story. We're approaching the end of this story anyway, so it seemed only fitting. I hope you all understand this, and I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter.

Well, I don't have anything to say for this author's note. This has been quite an experience for me, writing this story chapter by chapter since the very beginning, so it'll be sad to see this story finally come to an end. But it was going to happen eventually.

I also decided the next chapter will include parts of the documentary that should be filmed at the 4077 before the day is over. More references to previous chapters will be made in the following chapter, as well as having everyone spend their final night at the 4077 over some drinks and everyone will discuss what they plan to do when they get back to the states, along with a few other things. If you're wondering how this'll all turn out, you'll have to wait until next time, readers!

For now, only if you like, you can leave a review and let me know what you thought of the chapter. It isn't necessary to say anything else, since there are only three more chapters left.

Aside from that, there's nothing else for me to say. So until next time, I hope you all take care of yourselves. And with everything said and done, thanks again for reading folks!