"Hands upon your head
No sleep until we're dead"
"Ate the Sun" from Madness in Miniature by Mr. Gnome.
Without hesitation, Max threw his paws in the air and stepped away from Dorian. "N-no!" Dorian screamed, jumping the new distance between them to wrap around Max.
"N-no!" Max begged. "It's okay, it's okay." His words meant nothing to the kid or Jake, but he tried to exaggerate his tone to compensate. He looked up at Jake with pleading eyes, begging him to understand.
Jake's perpetually wide smile twisted down in surprised confusion. He didn't stand down immediately, but the swirling shadows in his hands sped up and grew smaller until they dissipated completely. "Max?" he asked, finally relaxing his stance a bit.
"Pi?" Max squeaked between coos. The little kid made it nigh impossible for him to yield completely to Jake. Max did his best to comfort Dorian with a paw on his head and meaningless (to the other two), soft-spoken babble.
For once in his life, his broiling anxiety did him a favor; no rampaging feral had as much conflict going on in their eyes as he did. Jake cackled out a giggle and said, "You're really in there." Max hurried to nod; his abject fear spread Jake's smile back to full strength.
Suddenly, Max felt the paw petting Dorian touch air instead of skin. The nidoran had leapt to Max's defense and shouted, "Get away from him, meany!" Max started to try and yank him back, but Jake halted him with a raised hand. "Just because he sounds stupid doesn't mean he's evil!" Now, Max wanted to yank the kid back for a completely different reason. Even when they were kind, kids could be so cruel.
"Meany?" Jake laughed. "Haven't heard that in a while." Jake's cackle boiled his bones, but the pikachu still managed to keep up his restraint. "Don't worry," Jake said. He threw both hands up in theatric surrender. "Just wanted to return something he dropped." Max tilted his head in a silent question, and a purple portal apparated in front of him to answer.
His ears stood on end when his badge fell into his paws. Max felt his control slip as a haze of suspicion and rage clouded his vision. "Where did you get this?" he barked. While really just as far away as before, Jake suddenly looked miles more distant. Did his smile falter, or had it faded from the distance?
"Max?" Jake's voice rang in his head. Max had barely heard it—had he heard it?—but it rattled in his mind louder than any legendary's scream. A stream of pink waves swirled the distance away, and Max felt a serene calm return control to him. Yet, even as he felt it return to his paws, he felt more and more like it'd be best to give it up. The peace brought a dumb smile as well, though he found it hard to notice. Those pink swirls sure looked nice.
Max!
They stopped looking so nice. Max shook his head and took real control back. "What was that?" he asked. His eyes met Jake's a second later, and the sight brought him back to the present moment.
Jake was hypnotizing you.
"Oh," he said. Just to be safe, he looked away from Jake's eyes.
"Wow, you've got quite the resistance," Jake giggled. "Back, then?"
Right, it all came back to Max just slow enough that he could handle it without losing himself. His instincts flared up. "Back?" he guessed. He looked up to ask, "Was that why you did that?" but caught himself and looked away.
"Yep," Jake said. "You're back in there." It felt like he'd answered his question, but Max reconnected the dots with the rest of what he said. A little puff of purple tickled the edge of Max's vision, and he felt a hand yank him back by the tail. Right into Jake. "Not sure how you're still hanging in there, but we've gotta hurry." The gengar held up his dim badge, and Max yanked his tail out of his grasp. "I already used this earlier. We've gotta get out the old fashioned way."
"There isn't a way out!" Dorian whined. "I've been looking for a really really really really long time!"
Jake looked down with a smirk and said, "Trust me."
Dorian paused for a bit, thinking it over in his head, then looking to Max. Max gave him a warm smile and nodded. "O-okay," Dorian mumbled.
"Chaaaa!" Max cheered. He leaned down to pet the kid's nervous head, and then Jake's cackles reminded him to feel self-conscious. "L-let's go." He pushed himself back up and fiddled with the strap on his bag.
"Don't know what you said," Jake started, "But we've gotta go." He went to grab Max's tail again, but Max dodged. This asshole couldn't just be helpful, no. He just had to be annoying, too. Jake watched Max for a moment, noticing the building rage, but Max still had himself under control. "Impressive."
Max spat out a sarcastic, "Pi," in thanks and walked around him. Dorian was following when he looked back, but Jake was suddenly nowhere to be seen. Max heard him walking in the same direction, though. With the dungeon already shifting all the laws of physics around for its perverse chaos, Jake's teleportation and inconsistent existence was making things worse.
Well, it didn't actually have any worsening effect on dungeon sickness. The unstable reality wasn't the cause of the symptoms, but in fact a symptom itself. However, it was really pissing Max off, so he decided that, yes, Jake's teleporting was detrimental to his health.
"So," Jake sighed. He drifted down to wrap an arm over Max's shoulder (and Max shot him a glare that could kill). "You come here often?" Max jerked away, shook the arm off, and brushed off the fur it touched. "C'moooon," Jake whined. "Is that any way to treat your savior?"
Max kept walking. He made a concerted effort not to give the slightest reaction to the ghost. Even if Jake had intended to help, Max had it under control, so the ghost only served to scare the hell out of the already terrified kid and pester Max.
At least Jake got the hint and stopped trying to start up small talk, instead (covertly) turning his attention to Dorian. The poor little pup flinched at every branch that snapped, even (and especially) when he snapped them himself. Then, a jaunty, little, purple flame bounced in front of him. Dorian eyed it suspiciously at first, and Max sent a death glare at Jake the second he saw it, but they kept walking, and it kept dancing.
Dorian's suspicious eyes grew more intrigued at its steady, rhythmic movements until he started bobbing his head along to the same silent tune as the flame. Despite his frustrations, Max had to give it to Jake: this worked very well. Dorian watching the flame was so cute, Max didn't even notice they were about to cross a floor deeper until the pit in his stomach burst into a crater.
He groaned out a cry he couldn't hear and fell to his knees. His paws went to secure what remained of his stomach, but he barely felt them. The need to run, escape the other two by any means necessary shattered his cognizance with a constant barrage. His frustration with Jake erupted into mortal terror—if he could teleport, use portals, disappear, he could be anywhere! Attack from anywhere!
Max slipped further into a pit of fear as his paws walked backwards. A whimper squeaked out of his throat when he caught sight of the massive red eyes and even bigger mouth right in front of him. Dorian said something, and Jake quieted him by blocking him off from Max.
Dorian. Max blinked. He came here to save Dorian. Jake came here to save them both. Try as he might, he couldn't use that knowledge to take back control, but he managed to stop backing away. They looked miles away. Even his own breath felt like the solar winds of a foreign star. Buried in a pit of instinct, every attempt to fight back brushed uselessly into his prison, yet exhausted him completely. He couldn't bring himself to struggle anymore.
But he wasn't gone. A storm of terror came at the sight of Jake. Max couldn't fight, but he could redirect. Strong. Jake was strong. He could protect. If he was hostile, he would have attacked by now. Max felt a meek whimper squeak out as he lowered his head.
Safe. The gengar could keep him safe. Dungeons were huge, too big to stay safe in alone. No amount of strength he could offer on his own could keep him forever. So tired, he needed some rest. Fear spiked as he brushed up against the gengar and fell sharply as Jake touched him back. A light, comforting pet. Some deep, quiet rumbles. The words dissolved in the air, but the pikachu felt the tone sooth him.
Max felt his awareness waning. Their movements and his own grew too distant to see, to feel. He felt himself fall away into sleep. For the first time since Neb saved him, he lost his mind to instinct.
"Let's explode for fun
We rode along and
Ate the sun…"
Max couldn't feel, smell, taste, or see anything. Only a light crackling accompanied him in an empty void. An orchestra of absence burned a faint purple into his sight as lights began to dance through his vision. A cold flame danced away from his paws as he leapt to grab it, and he felt his chest slide along the ground as the flame veered out of his reach.
Hitting the dirt provided just enough of a shock to wake him up enough to process what he saw. He brought his paws to his head and tried to shake sense back into himself. Where was he? A familiar bed of hay sat beside him. Dirt instead of grass, and walls. Notes lined the walls, four marking the cardinal directions, and numerous others beneath them wrapping them like a belt numbered from one to seventy-three starting and ending at North.
Home. At least, the place he'd slept in for the past week. The haze in his mind made it difficult to remember how he got there, but he was there. He raised his tail to find North and, yep, the paper that said 'North' still was. Better, one sat right below it, too, and two sat next to one, leading to three, four, five…
Max ran his paw along the wall as he paced around. No anomalies or shifts. Just as he left it. The more he confirmed it, the more the haze left his mind. He passed the paper noting the West side of the room (with a twenty right under it), and then a familiar purple flame creeped into his peripheral vision.
Right when he spun to face it, three knocks smacked against his door. He jumped out from between them and held his tail up while he looked over to Jake standing at the door. Frustration ground his teeth together. "What are you doing here?" he growled.
Jake threw his hands in the air. "I come in peace," he giggled, though he didn't seem to have his usual malicious grin. "I just want to talk." He always at least kinda smiled with a mouth that wide, but his eyes held a bright glint of concern. "Can you?"
It took Max a moment to realize what he meant. "I… ah, kaa, pii, aaa, pii, api, ah, ii. I. I ka-n, yes," he stuttered out, a blush spreading the red patches on his cheeks. Of all the people to struggle talking properly in front of, he hated that Jake was one of them. Besides him and Cori, he didn't really let himself slip around anyone else.
"Nice to have you back," Jake said. Max raised a brow waiting for a punchline that never came. "I take it you don't remember all of what happened."
"No," Max hesitantly answered. He glanced down at the ground in thought and asked himself, "Where was I?" It didn't take much thinking before his heart dropped into his stomach like lead. "The dungeon," he whispered, eyes suddenly vacant. What little breath he managed to force into his lungs felt too thick, more like water than air.
"Hey," Jake interrupted his panic. His hand grabbed Max's shoulder. "It wasn't by choice. Don't worry." Max looked up at the usually infuriating smile and saw compassion instead of malice. "And we got out of there pretty quick." The reassurances stemmed the worst tides of his panic, but he could still hear his heartbeat. "You've certainly made yourself at home," Jake said with a glance to the notes along the walls.
Max shrunk away a bit. "It helps," he mumbled.
"Makes sense," Jake said, one hand rubbing his 'chin'. "Must be terrifying waking up and thinking you're in a dungeon again, right?"
Was this the same Jake? He was a lot softer around the edges. "S-sort of," Max said. "It's more making sure stuff didn't move while I wasn't looking." Opening up about this with Jake of all people definitely felt like a terrible decision, but Max was a 'mon of second chances (he'd used up plenty himself, after all).
"Object permanence?" Jake asked. Max raised a brow and nodded, making Jake giggle. "I've been around." The giggles didn't infuriate Max as much. For now. "Been to Pittsburgh, Parkersburg, Gravelburg, Colorado, I've been everywhere, 'mon."
Max's jaw went slack. The gengar's laugh didn't register through the shock. "Y-you know-how do you know that stuff?" he balked.
His first answer came in the form of even more severe laughter. "I thought I was being blatant," Jake cackled. "I'll take the pokétalk as surprise, though." Jake leaned against a wall and sat back while Max tried to reboot his thoughts. "Ah, meeting the other humans is always a treat."
Half the shock Max had worked past returned. "H-human?" he forced. "M-me? Why makes you think—"
"C'mon," Jake interrupted. "You get a feel for it after a few hundred years." At least that reveal made enough sense—how's a ghost supposed to die? "I had my suspicions after our meeting in the store," Jake pulled out a lunch bag while he explained, "and if I wasn't sure then, your dreams made sure I was."
Max slapped a paw to his face. Of course, dream eater. That move was gen one.
"Huh," Jake puffed. "Usually they're more upset about invading their dreams."
It was Max's turn to chuckle. "I'm kinda used to someone listening in on my head," he said. The warmth on his neck let out a self-conscious, silent squelch.
Jake nodded his head up in respect and bit into his sandwich. "Did you take it all in stride, or did that come with time?" he asked.
"Both," Max said with a shrug. It felt nice to talk so casually about this secret he'd kept from everyone but…. He shook his head, but it was too late. His relaxed mood went up in flames as the events of the dungeon crashed back into his memory. The vague gestures of friends he met once showing up felt like a dream, yet they came with such minutia that he knew it really happened.
"Yo, what's up?" Jake asked.
Max tried to shake his head back to its senses, but all the memories flooded back at once. He let out a groan to say, "Gimme a minute," and hoped Jake got the memo. A sting of betrayal bit his tongue as the onslaught slowed, and for just a moment, he wished he'd stayed in the dungeon longer.
When he finally looked back up, he saw Jake watching him carefully. "I'm fine," Max grumbled. "Just remembering."
"Ah," Jake said (with his mouth full). Despite claiming to have been human, he showed no regard for etiquette and continued to talk with half-chewed sandwich bouncing around his too big mouth. "Good, because I wanted to ask you about the assholes who had your badge." He paused for a moment, then corrected himself, "Well, two assholes and a kid."
Maybe the gengar wasn't the best measure for who was or wasn't an asshole, but it still comforted Max to hear someone else say it. "I thought they sent you," Max said. "I mean, I guess they did," he glanced at the badge pinned to his bag, "but thanks for not taking me back to them."
"No problem," Jake cackled. "What was their deal?"
Max groaned and rolled his eyes. "Well, I thought they were my friends," he mumbled. "They said they wanted to help." The memories strung together in reluctant order while he went over to sit against the wall. "But they wouldn't listen." A paw went to the spot on his neck where Sam's bone had been as his quiet rage smoldered into a crackling inferno.
"I—," Max struggled to talk, but his voice cracked from the sorrow in his throat. He tried to save face by hiding it, but then he felt the warm tears trickling down his eyes.
"Let's table that, then," Jake whispered. This had to be a completely different person. Where was all that empathy when he dragged Max out of the store by the tail?! "How much do you remember from your human life?"
"What?" Max balked. Odd change in topic, especially since he didn't think about it much.
"Not much?" Jake guessed.
"Well," Max mumbled, tilting his gaze up as he scratched the back of his head. "Mostly the music, I guess?" Impressions and reliefs of family and friends bulged in and out the motionless stone of inactive memories. "I know it's still in there." One face in particular caught his eye for a moment, but it faded before he could focus.
"Have you tried to remember?" Jake asked.
"No?" Max snorted. "Why would I?"
Jake looked down at Max with his wide smile twisting down. "You had people you loved, right? Who loved you?" he asked.
Max flinched and rushed to argue, "W-well, yeah. Probably." The floor he sat on suddenly felt a lot less comfortable, and he started shifting in his seat to find the comfort that had fled. "But they're gone. Or, I guess I am." He shook his head free of semantics while his paws ran over each other. "It's not like I can go back, so why bother worrying about it?"
The room grew red hot; he realized he'd struck a nerve when he felt Jake's anger smash a headache through his skull. A paw went unconsciously to his temple as he glanced up to see Jake's eyes frozen in forced calm. "What? If you can't talk to someone anymore, they don't have any worth left?" he spat.
The rage pulled a headache much more intense than usual over Max's skull. Dark Matter must be having a feast. "I thought we were talking about me, not you," Max shot back, and he regretted saying it the moment it was too late to stop. "Er, look. I'm sorry." Emotions didn't usually spread to him like this. "I'm not trying to discount anyone important to you."
Jake's expression softened a bit, and Max's headache faded a touch as well, but the ghost remained silent. Max took a moment to feel the relief from pain and let the silence clear the room. A wet ache of Jake's sorrow caked Max's throat.
"Who did you lose?" Max asked. "If you don't mind me asking."
All the snark had left Jake at once. He looked off at and past the wall opposite him. As he gazed into oblivion, he slowly brought up the nerve to say, "The love of my life."
Jesus, Max thought to himself. That was a lot. Sudden. With no idea what to say, he opted to stay quiet instead.
"Old as I am, it happens," Jake said. As he forced himself to shrug, shake himself out of his stupor, Max felt all the same sorrow leeching out of him.
"Did they go peacefully?" Max asked.
"Didn't die," Jake answered, and Max hid a sigh of relief. Break ups sucked, but at least he didn't have to talk Jake through grief. "We were supposed to go home. She did, I didn't."
"Oh," Max mumbled. Not a death, not a break up, this had to be the worst of all worlds.
Misery loves company.
Max shot a side eye to Dark Matter, but it clicked after a moment. Open up. It wanted him to open up. "I-I," he stammered. "There's someone, well." Orange scales, blue eyes, and a bright smile flashed from his memory. "I guess I know how it feels to not be able to talk to someone you used to love." He looked up to see Jake waiting patiently for more.
"I-I, it," he mumbled. Did he really have to go through with this?
Yes.
Okay. Max took a deep breath. "I pushed him away," he whimpered. Regrets rang in his ears and shook shivers down his spine. "When I first went feral, when I—," a sob almost broke through his speech, "I went into the Dungeons." He looked up in the hopes Jake knew, put the pieces together so he didn't have to say it, but Jake just sat there listening. Waiting. Max couldn't bring himself to say it. "I can't even remember his name."
A few tears trickled down his muzzle. What was he doing? Admitting he gave up on people Jake would kill to reconnect with? Was he just sabotaging a friendship on instinct, now?
"You do care about the people you left behind, then," Jake said. Max couldn't manage a reaction through his tears. "Did he never want to see you again?" Max shrank further. "Or were you just hoping he didn't?"
Enough surprise hit him that he managed to look up at Jake. Max tried to start a few times, but couldn't find the words. As much as Max wanted him to, Jake didn't go on for him. He had to figure out the words himself. Part of him was surprised he'd come to the same conclusion as Dark Matter so quickly.
"He always stood up for me," Max finally managed. "As much as he could, at least." He pulled his badge off his bag and ran his claws over it. "He was the leader, so he had to do what he could to set me straight." Their last argument blared in his ears. "I always thought he was being too harsh, but…." The details remained too fuzzy for any specifics. "As best as I can remember, I think he was kind." He chuckled despite himself. "Probably too nice for his own good."
Through the tears, from the sobs, Max felt a warm smile reminiscing on what little he could remember of their time together for the first time in ages. The pain of loss stabbed him through the heart like always, yet it didn't diminish his joy.
"You should try talking to him again," Jake said. Max recoiled so hard he nearly gave himself whiplash.
"Were you listening?" Max shouted. "I'm way past the point of second chances."
Jake's infuriating smirk returned as he shrugged. "Y'never know," he sang.
"Yes I do," Max growled.
An icy stare froze Max in his tracks. "It's worth a shot," Jake said. "You haven't lost him. Not really."
"I-"
"I don't talk to other humans for fun," Jake continued, steamrolling Max's attempt at interruption. "I'm hoping, some day, one of them can help me again. If they can't?" The sun blazed in Jake's eyes. "I'll do it myself." Jake's form disappeared and apparated right in front of Max, towering over him. "You love someone, you don't let them go."
"I don't need you to tell me about love," Max spat. "I know where it goes!" Cori flashed in his mind. "I know what it does!" His voice broke as tears started to blur his vision. "Give it a chance, let it close, and they burn you!"
Jake's rage softened, and he held out a hand and said, "Max—,"
But Max slapped it away. "What?!" he shouted. "Why even talk to me? Why not just hypnotize me until I think right!"
The ghost snarled for a moment, but bit his tongue. "You were going feral," Jake grumbled.
"So what?!" Max shot back. "Does that give you the ri—"
"No!" Jake shouted. "It doesn't! It doesn't give me any right, okay?" Before Max could take control back, Jake shot a glare strong enough to silence him. "I fucked up. Fine. But I was trying to help."
"Piiii," Max growled. The stress overwhelmed him far beyond his capacity for speech, and just as well. He didn't have anything else to say.
"They care, too," Jake said. "They're assholes, but they didn't want to hurt you." Max growled louder. "Hate them—hate me!—for fucking this up, I don't care." Jake took one step closer; Max raised his tail. "But don't trick yourself into thinking no one cared." Max pulled electricity into his cheeks until sparks shot off them.
"Go ahead," Jake said. Max's eyes shot wide open as a memory shoved its way into the forefront of his mind. For just a moment, he saw Neb standing over him. "Do what you want. I probably deserve it." The memory pried into his conscious no matter how hard he tried to shove it out. His concentration sputtered away, and the charge in his cheeks followed.
Rage had burned so bright that it flashed its fuel to nothing in scarce few moments, and the ashes scattered into a sorrowful shadow. While anger remained in his expression, the pain and sadness leaked through in tears.
"Get," Max forced with more concentration than he had left. "Out."
Jake met his gaze for a moment, not as a challenge, but confirmation, and nodded. He turned around and walked to the door without a word. When he reached for the door, he looked back at Max to say, "People care about you, kid."
Max threw a bolt of electricity at him, but it only charred the door. Every bit of muscle, nerves and sinew wanted to crumple against the wall behind him, but he couldn't let himself. He strained his paws into fists until his claws jabbed into his pawpads, tossed his bag over his shoulder and started for the door.
Cori was going to pay.
"Leave my shadow on
Hope that we could fly
Disappear for fun
We carried on and
Ate the sun..."
(A/N: Hey! Back. I got moved, got a job, and I'm doing all right enough. Definitely gonna finish this story soon, but I'm not sure when. I have to get used to finding time to write after I clock out, if I even can. I know I said before that it was looking pretty bleak, and it was, so I felt like I had to at least mention that things are going better now. Sorry for the delay, heh. I'd appreciate to know what you think before the end, here. I doubt you can get this far into something without any sort of thoughts, and I'd really appreciate sharing them if you can, criticism or otherwise. Regardless, I'll see you soon.)