Here is the new chapter. First I would like to say thank you to all who read the last chapter and who have been reading this story. Also to those who review. Now I also want to respond to the review, you were not mean at all. As for her talking to JARVIS, I did it on purpose to just show that while she knew what she had to do she is still having a hard time with it and finding the right way to say things because at the moment all of her thoughts and feelings are just kind of a mess. So I hope that helps you understand better. Once again thank you for the review and feedback it really does mean a lot. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think.
For the next few days, I spent time trying to find a new calm and peace in my life. I spent time walking around and enjoying the beautiful place I was in and spent time with everyone.
I had just left from talking to Shuri when I saw T'challa walking toward me.
"So are you ready to talk?" He asks once he gets to me.
"I think I am." Walking with him we head to a beautiful lake and sit down.
I then tell him everything, all of the things that have happened, all I am worried about, and just lay it all out there.
Once I had, I started to feel much lighter.
"I know I need to stop living in the past but I guess it is harder than it looks and sounds."
"That it is. Why have you not told the others the things you are keeping from them?"
"I don't want to hurt them, I know the truth will hurt but I also know that it will hurt them if I don't tell them and they find out I didn't say anything to them."
"You know you can't protect everyone all of the time from getting hurt."
"I know that but I still want to try. I know I need to talk to all of them but I don't know what to say or how to say it to them. How do you tell the people you love things that you have kept from them? Things you know will destroy them. When I told dad about the baby he looked so broken and I hate that I could not fix it."
"You can't fix everything, you need to trust that people can look out for themselves now and then. I know it is hard for you because you do care about people so much but I also know that you need to put yourself first at times too and holding it all in will not help you."
"That is what I need to work on letting people in."
"Then let's get to work."
SR
The rest of the week after that I spent with one of T'challa's friends that helped people with finding themselves and healing past trauma.
If I have learned anything this last week I had trauma and I need to do something about it so It would not take over my life.
I was sitting on the balcony in my room when I heard a knock. Getting up I went to see who it was.
Opening the door I saw Ramonda standing there.
"Do you think I can come in?"
"Of course" I step aside and let her in.
"I see you were enjoying the outside, would you like to go back out?"
"Yes," we both walked out and took our seats.
"I wanted to see how you were doing."
"Honestly a lot better than when I first got here. I feel like the pressure has been lifted off of me and I'm not carrying so much anymore."
"I'm glad I was hoping you would be able to get the help you needed."
"I have, thank you for letting me be here."
"As I told you before, We are always here for you all you need is to ask."
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Ask me anything."
"How did you meet my mother?"
"I had an adventurous son, he loved to go out and explore. One day he went too far and got lost. Lilly found him and brought him home to me. We became friends. Then later you were born and we bonded over being mothers. She was always so worried that she would do or was doing something wrong. She wanted to make sure you had everything because she didn't have much growing up. She brought you when you were a baby and you were so sweet. You were such a calm baby and you loved people. Everyone loved having you around. Over the years she kept bringing you and that is what you should remember. You formed a bond with people here, my children included. I remember one time when you were about five and you came to visit. You would run around as fast as you could hair in pigtails and a huge smile on your face as you tried to keep up with the bigger kids because you were not going to let anything stop you. You were a tenacious little girl and I am seeing her come out more the longer you are here. Don't be what others see you as, but be true to who you are."
"I don't even know what to say, I do know I always loved coming here and I always felt safe here. I remember when kids at home were mean and I would think if only they knew the people I knew they would be so much nicer to me. Do you think it is a good thing that I'm tenacious?"
"Well, it has taken you far and showed you so much because you don't back down to everyone. Well, you used to stand up to others."
"I know I have not been doing too well of a job lately, but I think I am getting back there."
"That you are my dear and I wish you only the very best. I know you have a lot of amazing and wonderful things in your life and you are going to live a very beautiful one."
"That would be nice."
"There is someone back home you are in love with."
"There is but a huge part of me feels bad about it."
"Why?"
"It's Steve, Steve Rogers, Captain America. The guy that Peggy was in love with and I feel like I'm betraying her by being with him."
"Have you talked to her about it?"
"Not yet."
"Well when you go back home, talk to her, I'm sure at this point she will be happy that both of you have found some happiness and found each other. She loves you and will only want you to be happy."
"Do you think that is the truth?"
"I do, you should trust people with your feelings they might surprise you."
"Thank you for everything you have done for me, It means the world. Thank you for being someone my mom could come to."
"That was easy, Lilly was a very special person, that is why I think you are so remarkable, you hold all of the good and beauty from your parents in you. You truly are a joy and your mother's greatest love and her whole world."
"You really think so."
"I know so my dear." Then we watched the sunset before going to eat with the others.
RS
For the next few days, I started to work with a new lady that was helping me to take things slow and to slow down and breathe more. It felt good that I was taking time for myself and putting everything else on hold. I knew that I would need to handle things when I got home but I also was hopeful that they would understand why I had done this and that none of them were to blame. I had sent dad a message letting him know I was safe and fine, that I just needed time to work through everything and I would be home soon.
It had already been two weeks since I had got here and I knew that at some point I would need to go home and talk to all of the people I love.
"So what is something you can do when you feel overwhelmed?"
"Talk to someone I trust about why I feel that way, walk away, and take a breath so I can come back to it with a clear head. Remember I can't fix and do everything by myself. It's ok to ask for help when I feel overwhelmed."
"That's good. Why is it important to ask for help?"
"No one can do everything by themselves. I can't fix it all. I need to trust that other people can do things as well."
"You know you are picking up on this part but you really need to remember it when you are in the situation of something you can't fix or can't do yourself."
"That will be the hard part. Letting others help and accepting that I can't do it all alone."
"I believe that you can do it. I heard you plan to go home in a few days."
"I plan on staying the rest of the week and then heading home. I miss my family and I'm ready to see them again."
"Well, when you get home I want you to remember all we have worked on and make sure you use it."
"I will, thank you for helping me with this."
"It has been my pleasure."
We continue to review different things and then she takes me to physically relax with a massage and all. This was helping a lot.
The rest of the week was spent much the same in working on things to help me better and working through all of the things I had been holding onto. After spending time crying through it and all of the physical and especially the emotional I was exhausted and headed to bed early knowing the following day was my last one here.
RS
The next morning I got up and got ready for the day. I was feeling extremely refreshed and so much lighter from everything that had happened and I was grateful for taking this time to work on it.
After getting my things ready I made my way out of the room and looked for the others.
"Good morning, how are you feeling?"
"I can't remember the last time I felt this free, it's like I'm a whole new me."
"I'm glad, you look a lot more relaxed than when I first came to get you."
"I am and I'm very grateful to you, I don't know what I would have done had you all not helped me. So thank you from the bottom of my heart."
"I told you already I would always help you, but I have enjoyed you being here. It reminds me of when you would come with your mother."
"When I tried to keep up with all of you."
"We all had a lot of fun. Never once was it boring."
"That is for sure."
"I do seem to remember that you were able to keep up with not many problems."
"Even as a child, you were not going to let anyone in your way other than you."
T'challa and I looked over to his mother as she spoke.
"Well, I guess I was a pretty determined child."
"That you were. I am glad you came to us for help. Now, remember we are always here for anything you need. We want to help you."
"I know and will do better remembering people who want to help me. I do have to thank you for all of the help though. I don't know if I could have done it without all of you so truly both of you, Thank you so much."
"I always said I would keep an eye on you and I always will. Anytime you need I am here for you, we all are."
"After all you are a friend and friends help each other right?"
"That they do, So now that you won't be fixing me what will you be up to?"
"Helping to run the kingdom."
"That is very noble of you. What about a certain girl?"
"I will leave you to talk," his mom said before walking away with a smile.
"We are not together."
"Why not, it's obvious to everyone how you feel about each other."
"She wants to be out there helping people and I don't want to hold her back."
"You do know you can be together and she can still be helping people right?"
"I don't think it is that easy."
"If I have learned anything in my time here it is that you need to go for what you want even if and when you are scared. Plus the only one who really gets in our way is us. Don't let something amazing get away from you because you are unsure of how to go about it."
"Look now you are giving me advice."
"It's what friends do."
"I truly am glad you came here."
"I am as well, thank you for helping me unwind and figure things out."
"Anytime"
RS
After our conversation, we went looking for the others so I could say goodbye before he took me home.
We were standing by the plane and I was talking with the others.
"Do come back soon, you are always welcome here."
"Thank you for everything, I am grateful for your help and for listening to me."
"I know Lilly would have done the same so of course, I would be here for you when she can't."
"I am grateful you are in my life."
"As am I" She pulled me into a hug and I smiled, hugging her back. We pull apart and look at the others.
"Don't be a stranger, I need someone to help me give my brother a hard time."
"I will do my best, I can't wait to see what you do next though. I'm sure it will be amazing."
"If you need anything cool let me know and I will hook you up."
"Will do '' I tell her with a small laugh and we hug goodbye.
As we pull back I look around and smile.
"Thank you all for everything you have done for me the last few weeks. I will forever be grateful. I will try to see you soon."
They say their goodbye as well and I get on the plane with a wave to the others and then we are off.
"Are you ready to go back?"
"I am, I miss everyone but I think I will talk to Peggy first, then I will talk to the others."
"If you need anything don't hesitate to reach out for whatever it might be."
"I will, thank you so much for all you have done for me."
"You are welcome, I'm glad I was able to help."
"I am as well."
The rest of the flight was not too bad at all and I enjoyed watching the beauty around me as we flew closer to home.
I knew I had a lot of conversions to have and I knew it would be hard. Though for the first time in a really long time I felt good about it. I knew that some conversations had to happen first but I also knew that the people I loved also loved me as well and would be there. That was one thing that I knew I would always have. Their love.
So there you have it. I didn't want to drag this part out too long. Originally as I started to write this story the last several chapters and the next few didn't exist. It went from the New Orleans Girls trip to Winter Solder. So I put a lot into that year's time frame. I also wanted to add more to Rebekah and who she is and why she is the way she is for future chapters. I do hope you enjoy this and let me know what you think. Next chapter she will be home. So please review and let me know what you think will happen. Thank you Wonderwomanbatmanfan and Guest for your reviews. Always feel free to give feedback. Until the next chapter.