27 | VOW TO THE NEXT GENERATION
»»— ༓ —-««
- JULY 31, 1980
"Oh, he is just precious!" Carina cooed at the tiny bundle in her arms.
The exhausted mother smiled wearily from her bed, hair still matted to her head from the hours of labor.
"He's perfect, darling." Frank leaned over, brushing a kiss over Alice's temple.
"How is Lily?"
"She and Harry are just behind you." Carina laughed. "They're a few rooms down. You can visit them once you get some rest."
"I need to check in with Fabian," Frank groaned.
"The only place daddy needs to be is right here," Carina interrupted pointedly as she handed Neville off to his father. "I will check in with Fabian on security. And if we need additional eyes, I'll get Sirius. You three rest. I mean it!"
Carina closed the door behind her quietly, off in search of the deputy head auror. When Alice and Lily had gone into labor within hours of each other, Carina all but panicked. When she couldn't get a hold of Gideon, she dragged Fabian out of bed at an ungodly hour of the morning instead. Since Lily had an earlier due date, they originally planned to take her to a muggle clinic. But when Alice went into labor first with Lily following less than an hour after, they had to improvise. Fabian disappeared in a rush, leaving Carina to stew in confusion, before returning and hastily shuffling them all through a private floo to St. Mungo's.
"What if news leaks about their babies?" Carina had asked Fabian urgently as the healers whisked away the expecting mothers.
"We're technically in an old wing of the hospital. The attending healers have agreed to a wand oath of secrecy. I'll be here to make sure the wing stays secure until we can safely take Alice and Lily back to their homes."
Sirius joined them not long after, helping Fabian add to the wards on the abandoned wing. She and Sirius flitted between the two mothers' rooms throughout the day and well into the night. In the end, Neville finally came into the world just before midnight. He was such a quiet baby, he gave them all a fright. But when he opened his big brown eyes and sighed softly into his mother's arms, they all took a breath of relief.
Carina only had to wander as far as the wing's old waiting room to find Fabian. He stared unseeingly out the window, lines of tension carved into his spine and the weight of the last day heavy on the neck that tilted down.
"There you are."
Fabian's head jerked upwards.
"Neville is settled with his parents. I told Frank I would check in with you about the wards."
With a beat of silence that prickled at the edge of Carina's mind, Fabian finally turned with a tired smile. "Neville? That's a nice name. And the wards are fine, I re-checked them not long ago."
"Thank you," Carina exhaled with a sigh of relief.
"Of course." He walked to the nearest couch, long limbs folding under him as he finally took a seat. "I'm sorry Gideon couldn't be here. Moody called us late the night before, and Gid insisted on taking the assignment."
Carina gently perched on the other end of the couch. "I'm not surprised. He mentioned you've been taking all of Moody's solo assignments recently. I barely see you these days."
A ghost of a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth before he shrugged. "Well, I can't exactly expect another promotion if I don't step up to the role."
"What about the Order?" Carina inquired softly.
A small part of her felt saddened that she'd seen less and less of him over the past weeks. They'd grown so close over her first year working with the Order that the absence of him hit harder than she'd anticipated. It was jarring to shift from working with him nearly all the time to the twins splitting up their responsibilities between them. On the bright side, she saw more of Gideon than ever, which was a blessing for their blossoming relationship. But there was something off about seeing the twins separated.
"I still do a lot with them. Mainly I liaison with Regulus, which has been getting more involved now that he's out of Hogwarts. But luckily they don't question him much about his whereabouts, especially now he'd begun his curse-breaking apprenticeship."
"I'd heard about that," she replied. "He's at Gringotts, right? How is he? I haven't seen him since the day at the caves."
Fabian hesitated. "Lonely... I think. The kid keeps a strong face, and he's doing better now that he has this apprenticeship. He doesn't spend as much time at his family home anymore, and I think that's helped."
"And you?" Carina turned to him, studying his profile.
He glanced over, meeting her eyes. There was something about him that felt slightly off. Perhaps it was the stress of the war that stretched on with no end in sight. Perhaps it was his growing responsibilities. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something was off.
"I'm alright, little angel." His lips quirked every so slightly in bemusement. "And you? Excited to be a godmother?"
"I am," Carina said, a genuine smile overpowering her concern. "It's a heady feeling knowing there's a whole little person depending on you. I can only imagine how the Longbottoms and Potters are feeling."
"Do you want a family one day?"
"I'm already building one," Carina said strongly. "My friends, my godson- they're as close to family as I have. But yes, one day, I'd like kids of my own. I'm not in a rush, though."
"Probably smart," he sighed. "This war is not doing anyone any favors. Who knows what tomorrow will bring."
"Do you want a family? Someday..."
He paused a moment, hesitating with his answer. "Perhaps," he finally admitted. "If I find the right person."
"I think most people wish for that," Carina smiled. "To find the right person."
Fabian turned to her suddenly. "Have you?"
Carina's mouth went dry. Was this the interrogation where Fabian finally warned her not to break his brother's heart?
"Perhaps," Carina parroted. "It's still new, but I think I might have."
He stared without speaking for a moment, probing her eyes for answers she wasn't sure of.
"Good. You both deserve happiness, and Merlin knows how hard it is to find something worth holding on to during this bloody war."
Carina couldn't help but find the slightest undercurrent of something hard in his tone. Perhaps Regulus wasn't the only one feeling lonely and isolated? She reached out, squeezing his hand comfortingly.
"We all deserve happiness, Fabian. And finding something worth holding on to is as easy as deciding to hold on. I was too scared to do that at first, but all it takes is one person willing to take that first step. I was lucky Gideon was too stubborn to let me write him off."
"Hmm..." Fabian stared at her hand, a pensive expression clouding his features.
She waited patiently to give him the space to speak if he wanted. But before he could even gather his thoughts, Sirius came bursting into the room to tug Carina off.
Harry had arrived.
»»— ༓ —-««
- SEPTEMBER 1980
When Dumbledore asked her back to Hogwarts in the midst of the beginning of the term, Carina grew worried. After all, they had a headquarters for the Order for a reason. It was even stranger when he asked her to come at an ungodly hour of the morning. She wandered through the old stone corridors, the sun barely high enough over the horizon to light her path. But she'd know these paths with her eyes closed. Hogwarts had once been her home.
Carina followed the gargoyle up the staircase, wondering why Dumbledore could possibly need to meet with her. The door to his office was already ajar when she arrived.
"This is ridiculous," a voice hissed. "It's an unnecessary risk!"
"You agreed to my terms when you came to me for help." Dumbledore's calm voice was a sharp contrast to his guest's.
"You agreed no one would know!"
"Come in, Miss Lennox." Dumbledore's voice rang through the door.
Carina jumped slightly, shaking off a sense of sheepishness. She had barely just arrived, and it was hardly her fault what she overheard. She strode into the room with her head held high, only to stop abruptly halfway to the headmaster's desk.
A familiar obsidian gaze bore into hers with an air of annoyance and reluctance.
"Severus," was all Carina could say.
"Yes, I believe you two know each other from your time at Hogwarts. Please, Carina, have a seat."
Carina finally rounded the desk, standing beside Severus Snape as she stared at Dumbledore incredulously. Last she was aware, Severus had joined the Death Eaters. He was not quite as notorious as some of the others who gave the Order the most trouble, but there was no innocent Death Eater as far as she was concerned.
"Why?"
Dumbledore sighed, looking between the two old classmates. "Severus was the one who notified me of Voldemort's awareness of the prophecy. He's asked me to-"
"Lily," Carina whispered, her gaze snapping to the brooding wizard beside her.
He obstinately refused to meet her eyes, standing as still as a statue.
For all his faults, especially in their later Hogwarts years, Carina never once doubted that Lily Evans was the single most important person in Severus Snape's life. She couldn't quite understand Lily's decision to abandon a friendship of so long after he'd called her that wretched name. Certainly, he deserved to be punished for such a heinous slip of the tongue. But even Carina recognized Severus was lashing out of embarrassment and anger like a cornered snake. But she never pushed Lily on the matter with how distraught she already was over the matter.
And suddenly, his presence made perfect sense.
As surly and antisocial as Severus Snape always was, Lily was the only one for whom he would break the mold. With her life directly in danger, she wasn't surprised Severus could no longer stomach the side he'd chosen.
"But why?" Severus gritted out, glaring at Dumbledore. "We agreed, no one would know!"
"Circumstances have changed," Dumbledore said decisively. "We may need your help with more than just this prophecy."
"Like what?" Snape said harshly. "I can assure you the Dark Lord has been single-mindedly obsessed with that prophecy."
Dumbledore glanced at Carina, and she exhaled as she finally understood.
"What?" Snape demanded. "What else is there?"
"That is not for you to know yet. I just wanted you two to meet in case a time comes when we need further assistance."
Carina stood numbly, wondering why Dumbledore would reveal Snape's involvement now, and why to her. When Snape finally took his leave, she only had one question for Dumbledore.
"Why?"
"Why what, Carina?"
"Why tell me? Why now?"
Dumbledore watched her critically. "Severus is in a unique position to spy for us."
"Regulus is already spying for us."
"Young Mr. Black is still a privileged pureblood with a father and overeager cousin to fulfill the family's obligations to Voldemort. He has successfully managed to keep himself out of most Death Eater operations from that privilege alone. Severus is much more involved in the inner workings of the group."
"But-"
"I am not saying he is not valuable, just that we need them both for the different advantages they have."
"That still doesn't answer my questions! Why tell me? Why now?"
"Carina, you know as well as I that destroying Voldemort's horcrux has changed everything. He's a lot more paranoid about death and defeat than we originally expected. There may very well be a day when we need to rely on Severus' insight to plan successfully."
"But why me? Why not Moody?"
"Severus will have very few allies on our side, and you know this. He might be willing to risk everything for Miss Evans, but if we're going to rely on him, he'll need allies. The others don't know him well, and what little they know would make them distrust him."
"Am I supposed to do something, then?"
"Not at all. As I said, for now, the prophecy is our main concern."
"Then why-"
"Sometimes, Carina, it is enough to simply know you are not alone... You called him Severus, you know. When you walked in and saw him first, you called him Severus. You're probably one of the few in our ranks who wouldn't look down on him and would trust his reasons for turning to us. And for now, that is all he needs to know."
— ༓ —
Carina left Hogwarts with her mind buzzing. Instead of returning home, she went straight to headquarters and stood on the porch to watch the sunrise. While part of her was enthused that another one of her childhood friends had found the right path, a greater, more selfish part of her was weary about keeping another secret. First, she had to keep Regulus from his own brother. Now she had to keep Severus a secret not just from Lily but from all her confidantes.
"Alright, Carina?"
"Fabian!" She jumped nearly a foot in the air. "You startled me!"
"Sorry," he apologized with amusement.
"What are you doing here this early? Where's Gideon?"
"He's coming back from his assignment in Ireland today. I'm supposed to debrief him on his week and help write up the report immediately."
"He's finally coming back?"
Carina perked up at the welcome news. While it was not uncommon for Gideon to have long assignments out of town, he'd never been gone for an entire week while they'd been together. Fabian chuckled at her enthusiasm.
"Why are you here this early? I wasn't aware you could wake up this early," he teased.
Carina froze for a fraction of a second, mind reeling with the developments of the last hour. "Couldn't sleep, and my flat felt suffocating. Besides, sunrise is so much prettier out here."
"I won't argue with that. Ah, shoot! I should get him a change of clothes and some pepper-up. He usually likes to decompress away from home after a mission."
"I can go," Carina offered. "You're supposed to debrief him."
"It's alright. He's not meant to arrive for another hour. I couldn't sleep either, so I figured I'd set get here early to get started on the paperwork."
Carina decided to nap on the couch while she waited for Fabian to return. Her eyes were fluttering, staying closed longer than she could keep them open with every blink. She was nearly asleep when a sharp crack of apparition jolted her awake.
"Fabian?" She called out, moving through the house and towards the porch.
She opened the door, eyes falling upon the twin outside. Looking rather haggard, he was certainly not the one she was expecting.
"Gideon!" Carina exclaimed, running towards him.
"Carina!" His surprise was knocked away as she collided with him, arms roping around him securely.
"Are you okay? Look at you!" She fussed. "Let's get you inside."
He let her shepherd him inside, his heart quickly warming from her concern. He felt his exhaustion and wariness melt away as she pushed him onto the sofa and began chanting out small healing spells under her breath.
"You're supposed to take care of yourself!" She muttered, slightly distraught.
"I'm alright, I promise. Just a few scrapes."
"I don't understand why you and Fabian have started taking missions separately," she grumbled. "You two are supposed to be watching out for each other."
"I am okay, believe me," he chuckled. "Mostly tired, if anything."
"Like hell, Gideon Prewett! You could be an inch away from passing out, and you'd happily claim you're absolutely fine!"
He interrupted her adorably indignant tirade, snagging her around the waist and pulling her onto his lap. He promptly buried his head in the crook of her neck.
"Merlin, I missed you."
Carina exhaled slowly as she sunk into his embrace. She looped her hands around his neck, fingers gently carding through his mahogany locks.
"I missed you too."
He pulled back, a smile growing on his lips. "Yeah?"
"More than I expected," she huffed as though it were an inconvenience.
"Good." He tightened his embrace until she was all but plastered to him. "It's all part of my plan to make myself indispensable to you."
"Gideon, you already are," she whispered softly, resting her forehead on his.
His eyes fluttered closed, dark lashes framing his high cheekbones.
"I'm glad you're back safe," she continued, her thumb gently brushing his cheek.
"I'm glad you're here with me."
He held perfectly still, their lips nearly brushing against each other, as he waited for her to move. The past months with her had been blissful, and Gideon had been all too happy to let her guide the pace. Though she never discouraged his spontaneous heated snogs, his favorite moments were the ones she initiated.
When Carina finally closed the distance between them with an impatient pounce, Gideon groaned as their lips collided desperately and immediately sprung into action. His hand twisted into her hair, anchoring her to him. She gasped when his nails raked through her hair and tugged sharply on the long locks. Pressing his advantage as she tilted her head to alleviate the pressure, his lips followed the line of her jaw and peppered suckling little bites down her neck. Carina sighed with pleasure, melting into his hold.
He eased her back onto the couch, lithely moving over her like a panther. Continuing to explore around the collar of her shirt with his lips, his hands drifted under the hem. Carina trembled as his large hand confidently stroked up her stomach, his skin cool against her heat.
"You're so beautiful," he murmured against her neck.
Carina pulled his head back up impatiently. "I missed you." She kissed him urgently, pouring all the things she felt but couldn't yet bring herself to say into it. "So much."
Gideon hissed when Carina nipped his lower lip, pressing her firmly into the couch in retaliation. He made quick work of her shirt, nimbly undoing the buttons as his lips trailed open-mouthed kisses down the line of revealed skin. They were so lost in each other that they barely heard the sharp crack of someone apparating into the room. When Carina glimpsed a stunned Fabian over Gideon's shoulder, she jerked away.
How could she have forgotten?
"Fabian!" she gasped, pulling the ends of her shirt closed.
Gideon froze above her. Carina was surprised to see something akin to regret flit across his features, which was an unusual sight on him to begin with. Beyond him, Fabian stood frozen and speechless, clutching a pile of clothes and a vial of potion in a tense hold. The more seconds that passed in growing awkwardness, the more Carina had a sinking feeling something was wrong. Her first clue was when Gideon drew away stiffly, quickly helping her straighten out her shirt. Gideon had never been anything but smug and proud when people so much as commented on their relationship. Her second clue was his somber tone when he finally faced his twin.
"I'm sorry," Gideon finally said, his voice gruff. "I completely forgot we were meeting."
Her third and most glaring clue was when Fabian gave a stiff nod of acknowledgment instead of cracking some joke at their expense. "It's fine. I'll give you a moment and set up the paperwork for the debrief in the kitchen."
Swiftly walking out of the kitchen, he left her alone with Gideon. Gideon, who suddenly refused to meet her eyes.
"What was that?" She demanded quietly.
"I need to go debrief."
"No!" She jumped in his path, preventing him from leaving the room. "What just happened?"
"My brother walked in on us in a rather compromising position," he replied dryly, still not quite meeting her eyes. "Do you blame us for being a little frazzled?"
"Yes! I know you two, and you two would tease each other and me straight off a cliff if you could. So what the bloody hell just happened?"
Gideon sighed, his hand roughly pulling on his hair.
"Gideon."
"I don't think you want to know," he admitted heavily.
She stared silently, raising an eyebrow imperiously until he finally heaved a sigh and gave in.
"He likes you."
Carina gulped, her fears coming alive. "Since when?"
"Same as me. For nearly as long as we've all been working together."
"...what...?"
He watched her apprehensively.
"I- I thought you started liking me after the mission at the caves," Carina finally spluttered.
His expression twisted in confusion. "What are you talking about? Carina, we both have been flirting with you since we met you. That mission was less than a year ago."
She blinked rapidly, attempting to process what she saw as completely illogical. He may as well have told her thestrals and unicorns were friendly with each other.
"You two flirt all the time! I wasn't any different from everyone else."
He watched her calculatingly. "Carina, we may tease everyone, but we do not flirt with everyone. When have you ever seen either of us actually chat up another witch?"
"B- But... that doesn't mean anything! You had plenty of personal time to pursue whatever and whomever you wanted. Besides, you two had a blast making everyone else believe we were involved whenever I was around."
"Yes, because we both liked you!"
Carina's jaw dropped as she finally understood.
"Why didn't either of you say anything?"
"Honestly, it didn't seem like you were at all interested back then. When it seemed unlikely you would go for either of us, Fabian and I agreed early on that if one of us managed to catch your eye, the other would back off to give them a chance."
Carina swallowed, her throat as dry as cotton. "That didn't feel like it's all been settled," she pointed out.
"I suppose we both grew to like you a lot more than we expected, even back when you wouldn't give either of us the time of day."
"And you're just okay with that? With your brother pining after me?" Carina asked incredulously.
Gideon sighed heavily. "Of course, I'm not. I had hoped he would move on. I know he's been trying, but it's easier said than done. And I can hardly blame him. I mean, if the positions were switched, and I had to watch him with you, I don't think I would've been able to simply get over it either."
"Wait... he's been trying? Is that why he's been so distant these past months?"
Gideon winced at her rising voice.
"I came to you and told you my worries that I'd barely seen him lately, and you just brushed it aside! But you knew, you knew he'd been avoiding me!"
"He'd been avoiding us," he clarified quickly. "He was avoiding seeing us together."
"And you still want to be together knowing it's hurting Fabian?"
Gideon glared at her. "Bloody hell, I don't want my brother to be hurting! But I know if the positions were switched and I was watching from the outside, I'd want him to make an honest go of it even if I was hurting. It's what we agreed to, and Fabian has never told me otherwise."
Carina opened her mouth, then promptly closed it. "I... I need to think."
Gideon sighed. "Okay, I need to debrief. Let's meet up after? We can talk more."
Carina nodded tightly, turning on the spot and disapparating to her flat before he could even reach for a parting hug.
»»— ༓ —-««
Hi lovelies,
It's been a minute! I haven't updated anything in a year now, so writing this chapter was a little rough. I'm still dusting off the cobwebs 😂
But now that I finally have time to get back to writing, updates will be more regular! Also, it was recently brought to my attention that I'm misusing the word Hiraeth so I'll be changing the title of the story. Does anyone have any ideas?
- ADHARYN