The abandoned building is incredible despite the fire barrels blowing smoke in the air. The enormous concrete rocks spread around and cast shadows all over the place, giving the party an eerie but sophisticated look.

All the humans dance around to bad loud music, each with a red cup in hand filled with what I hope it's alcohol. By their exciting dance moves, I'm sure it's the best mediocre alcohol they can afford.

The structure is surrounded by dark corners where couples walk inside from time to time to "have some fun," I assume.

The best part about this place is the view. We are next to the city's limits, and the lights on the horizon are dazzling. Not even the cold wind can keep me from this smiling, feeling like I'm sitting at the top of the world.

Tyler and Ben run straight to where the guys on the football team are, and Jess follows them, leaving Seth and me behind. I guess she doesn't want to be left alone with us, and I understand.

I didn't hold back from skinship with Seth the whole time we were at the festival. Nothing crazy, but when you have to look at the guy you like holding hands with another girl, that's enough to ruin your day.

Jess is holding back well, but we all could tell she's uncomfortable. I'm not sure what Ben and Tyle think of this situation, but I'm sure they're on Jess's side. They never complained or said anything to me because we are friends, and they know this is not about me. This… situation is about Jess's feelings for Seth and how she copes with them. Being quiet is the best move for me right now. I don't want to sound like I'm giving Seth an ultimatum. He doesn't have to choose between us, but I'm not letting Jess make a move, so I keep Seth close to me, reminding her where the line is.

—Do you want anything? I'll get us a drink. Seth sits on a big concrete block left behind from the construction. We have a good view of the party from this angle and the city lights on the horizon. A cup of beer, and we're set for the evening.

—I'll go too. Seth tries to stand up, but I put my hands on his shoulders, telling him to wait.

—I'll get them. You stay here. With a quick kiss, I leave Seth to find us drinks. I'm not surprised the selection is limited since human teenagers can't get their hands on anything better than gas station alcohol. They only have some beer and cheap liquor, so beer is the best option. At least it is cold.

The party is packed, but I don't see Adam around. I haven't seen him in a while, but Ian is right over there with Hannah, so he might not show up.

Maybe I should be worried that Adam didn't attend school today. He has been all over the place the last few weeks, but perhaps he's just stressed because of homework. I know I am.

—Here you go. Beer was the best they had. Seth grabs a cup and pulls my waist to sit on his leg.

—There is enough space, you know. The block is wide enough for both of us.

—You said Esme got you that dress. You don't want to sit on this thing with it. The concrete looks scratchy and rough enough to grab onto the cloth and ruin the most expensive dress I ever owned.

—Fine. I'll give you this one. Besides, Seth's nice and warm, so it's not that bad. Sitting on his lap in front of everyone is just a little embarrassing.

—That was fast. Seth points to Tyler, trying to do something similar to parkour on the concrete and falling on his butt every time.

—That's the show I wanted to see. Tyler tries, again and again, making me end over laughing. He makes the best faces when he realizes he's about to fall on his butt again. My fun gets cut short when Ben drags Tyler out, saving the little dignity he still had. Others try to make the same moves as Tyler, but none of them can do the flip. Well, except for that guy.

—Who is he? I ask, pointing to the long-haired man in the crowd not wearing a football jacket. He has a low ponytail and looks like a biker with his cool leather jacket and skull t-shirt.

—That's Jackson. He graduated already, but he was our best player. Well before I arrived, he was the best player. Seth grins, taking a sip of his beer. —He used to be even more popular than Ben. Everyone loved him.

I can see why. Jackson kept the physic of a football player. He's tall, maybe over 6 feet, and has a strong jaw. The facial hair suits the sharp lines on his face, and he looks used to moving like that. Every jump Jackson makes is followed by a well-executed acrobatic move that makes the boys go crazy. No wonder he's popular even after graduation. He has some energy.

—He's good. I could say Jackson is a better acrobat than Seth due to his form, but I'm not about to tell Seth that.

—He's not that good.

—They all disagree. The crowd gathering around Jackson and cheering for him had a vastly different opinion from Seth's. This guy loves the attention and is undoubtedly happy to relive his high school years.

—I can make those moves. I can make any move. Here we go.

—I know you can. Jackson also can do it. And we are all ok with that, right?

—C'mon. I'll show you. Apparently, not.

Seth insists on dragging me to the circle of guys and asks me to hold his beer. He greets Jackson, joining the line of guys challenging him.

Jackson and Seth look like good friends, but the glow in their eyes is clear as day. They are not going each on each other.

The competition starts with the basic stuff, like flips and handstands. Jackson gets competitive when Seth can easily follow him and jumps around the concrete blocks, gracefully moving back and forth.

We all clap when Jackson finishes his turn, and I can see in Seth's eyes that he's at it again. It's the same look I had when Jess challenged me for that punch machine. Please control your strength. We don't need more trouble.

Seth makes the same moves as Jackson, only faster. Every turn and jump is higher, faster, and without effort. Of course, Seth does a double flip at the end, making the guys go wild. —How does he do that? A guy asks, looking impressed.

He cheats, that's how. Seth is not like me and can't have his powers shut off when he's not using them.

Even if he doesn't phase, Seth's much stronger than these skinny teens.

Anything a human can do, Seth can do better. He knows his strength, so even when he wants to give his everything to win, he's aware of what it means to be a shape-shifter. It means he must always be careful not to hurt others.

Seth is always careful, even with me. When I push or pull his hand, he moves according to my touch even when he could stay perfectly still, and I wouldn't be able to make him move an inch. He's faster, more resistant, and more hot-headed than any of them. Not the safest combination to have around humans.

Jackson is out of breath, looking a bit serious and concerned he's in over his head, but Seth is perfectly calm. He smiles at me, asking for his beer as if he has won already.

Trying not to roll my eyes, I walk over and give Seth his cup, taking a better look at how tired Jackson looks.

He's all sweaty but still very cool-looking in that black leather jacket. His eyes are very familiar.

—Not bad, man. Jackson says, reaching his hand out. He must've realized he lost this one.

—You too. They shake hands, and we are finally over with the testosterone demonstration.

—You're Julliane Cullen, right? I heard about you from Jess. Jackson smiles, pointing at Jess behind him, hiding in the crowd. I look at Jess, and she has her arms crossed, looking displeased.

—Ahm, yeah.

—I'm Jess's brother. You can call me Jackson. Jackson reaches his hand to me, so I shake it. I knew that the vibe he had was not strange.

I feel silly that I didn't notice before. They have the same eyes and fashion style. Maybe the love for leather runs in the family.

—Call me Anne. I say, letting go of his hand. Jess looks very angry, so I push Seth a little, wanting to leave. —Enjoy the party. Maybe Jess is not happy her big brother is at the same party as her.

Seth and I walk back to our seats. —I told you I was better. Seth smiles, sitting on the concrete and putting his arm around my body to face him.

—You never said Jess had an older brother.

—It never came up. She has like a million siblings.

—Have you met them?

—I stopped by her house once, and her cousins almost killed me. I look at him, confused, waiting for more information. —They were all kids around 4 or 5, so they had a lot of energy. Those kids at the park were nothing close to them. I love big families.

Jess is with her bother, shouting at him, but he smiles sweetly and waits for her to finish her anger fit.

—I see… A big family, huh?

Seth shakes my waist, calling my attention back to him. —You want more? I ask, looking over at his empty cup.

—No. Seth has his jealous/puppy eyes, and I catch the hint.

—You were incredible just now, you know? I sit on his leg and touch his face, watching his smile grow wider. —I knew you were going to crush him.

My corny compliments work like magic on Seth every time. He's like a happy puppy, all proud of himself a looking cute enough to get a kiss, so I ignore the crowd and give him a big one.

—How do I get one of those? Tyler shouts, coming our way all dirty from trying to beat Jackson.

—You don't. Seth holds me closer and gives Tyler a playful angry look.

—Where is Renesmee? Why isn't she here to heal my loneliness? Tyler's being a drama queen, acting like he's about to cry and chugging his beer. Well, the drunker he gets, the more fun this party will be!

—She wasn't feeling well. I say, using the excuse we made up. Tyler isn't like Adam, so it isn't difficult to convince him that Renesmee is just under the weather.

—I still can't believe how much she drank at the Halloween party. She wasn't even tipsy. Ben doesn't know that Renesmee also cheats. Big time.

—I should challenge her then. Jackson walks over, drink in hand, with Jess right behind him. She looks away, avoiding meeting eyes with us. Maybe the kiss was a little too much or sitting on his lap like this wasn't a good idea. It's hard to navigate around Jess. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but…

—You'll drop dead. Don't do that. I laugh but am dead serious. Jackson can't beat Renesmee. Never.

—She can't be better than Jess over here. Jackson holds his sister's shoulders, making her shy.

—She is. Jess says, removing his hand and fixing her jacket. I try to move, but Seth's arms are tight around my waist. Is he doing it on purpose?

—What about you, Anne? Are you better than Jess? Jackson raises an eyebrow. His voice is harsh and without humor now. He's not asking about my alcohol tolerance level.

—I wouldn't know. I don't usually drink, so Jess might easily beat me. She already did it today.

—Yeah, that was a perfect punch! Tyler can't read the room like usual and punches the air and then Ben's arm playfully, but Ben is non-responsive. He can feel the tension in the air.

—From what I heard, you can give a good punch too. Ian can testify. Jackson tilts his head in Ian's direction. He's drinking beer with his friends and shouting gibberish with Hannah, not bothering us for a change. Is that how the brother is going to play?

—Jess told you everything, huh? Jess hides behind Jackson. —That one didn't count. I was trying not to hurt Ian too much. Or better, not kill him.

—Well, your boyfriend wasn't. Jackson laughs, and Jess hits his ribs. She knows how much that fight affected Seth. It affected all of us, but her brother didn't care. Jackson could only see the couple that made his little sister cry.

—Ian did try to hit me, you know. Jackson doesn't care about Ian or our fight, He wants to start… something, so I hold Seth closer, putting my body in front of him.

—I'm sure he did. Ian is the biggest idiot I have ever seen. Jackson takes a step forward, staring at Seth behind me.

—Ian asked for that punch. Seth says, pulling me back and staring back at Jackson. The air feels so heavy now that even Tyler can tell something is off. He's laughing awkwardly, trying to change the topic, but we all ignore him.

—I heard she asked for one too. Jackson smiles, taking a sit his beer.

Seth stands up, and I can feel the tension in his body.

—Jackson, let's go, now. Jess pulls her brother away, but he doesn't want to move.

—Thanks to that, everyone thinks my sister was the bad guy when it was her that looked for a fight in the first place. Jackson let go of all the euphemism now. He's visibly angry, pointing his finger at me. Jackson certainly doesn't know who started that mess. Whatever Jess told him, it wasn't the whole truth.

—You're Jess's brother, so I'll give you a chance to walk away. You don't know what happened. Seth warns Jackson, pulling me to stand behind him.

—Give me a chance? Who the fuck do you think you are? Jackson's voice is too loud, and people are starting to notice.

—Jackson, please, let's leave! Jess is begging and pulling her brother's arm, looking like she's about to cry.

—C'mon, guys. This is a party. Let's not do this today. I walk from behind Seth and try to sound relaxed and unbothered when I'm really about to give Jackson a piece of my mind. —Jess seems ready to leave Jackson. I point to Jess, and he finally looks at her, realizing how close his sister is to starting crying.

Maybe it is the look in Jess's eyes or the people taking their phones out, but Jackson finally backs down.

—Don't come near my sister again. Jackson says his final threat and walks away with Jess.

Tyler lets out a long sigh, shaking his head. —That was TENSE! Imagine if you had fought Jess's brother.

—He's protecting his sister. Jackson doesn't seem to know what happened. Ben's words surprise Seth and me. He talks like he knows the truth. —C'mon. Do you think we are that stupid? Of course, we knew. The rumor was the same man.

Seth said he convinced Tyler and Ben that it was a misunderstanding, but they only pretended to believe Seth to make things less awkward. Ben and Tyler knew about what happened to Jess, so they connected the dots.

—We didn't say anything so she wouldn't isolate herself, but Jess was still spending most of her time alone in that music studio. There wasn't much we could say, so Ben and I acted as if nothing happened, and it worked for a while, but Jess is… stubborn. Tyler suddenly sounds sober and, for some reason, mature, freaking me out. —Well, that's her feelings to sort. We have a barrel of beer to CHU-UG! Tyler returns to his old self too fast, breaking the mood completely. We laugh it off because, as Tyler said, there is not much we can do.

Jackson has the right to protect his sister, but violence is never the solution. Jess might be honest with her brother after today. Almost starting a fight should be enough to make her tell the truth. She is the only one that could retract the lies she told herself and the whole school.

The rest of the party was lovely. We laughed and had fun with everyone after Jackson left. This time, Seth decided to go all-in with the drinking, and with Tyler hyping him up, Seth went all out. He would drink all the shots in the line faster than the others and come back to hug and kiss me every time he won.

Even Ben joined them, and watching them act drunk was hilarious. Renesmee would've loved this. It was just like that day on the beach when we first met. These humans know nothing of our world. They naively enjoy life every day, moving towards some goal they think will make them happy, waiting for the day they have to say goodbye to this world.

I wonder what my goal is.

It's time to go back home, but Seth is still "healing" from the alcohol, so I wait outside the car for him to sober up. Seth had his head on my neck, holding me and mumbling things I couldn't understand.

—What? I ask again, trying to make sense of the jumbled words.

—Iwyveyou. Seth's still not sober enough. I thought he was supposed to heal instantly.

—I love you too, so sober up, ok? He is heavy, and my legs are tired from walking all day.

Seth's breath on my neck is distracting. The hot air makes my hair stand up. Just Sobre up already!

Seth puts his arms tighter around my waist, startling me. Is he awake? Before I can ask if he's all right, Seth kisses my neck the way you shouldn't do in public. I barely manage to hold back my voice when his lips touch my skin.

—Wait. You can't do this here. There is no one around, but even so. This is a parking lot!

—I love this dress. Without warning, Seth's hand moved to my leg, going up my dress and under the edge of my stocking. I hold down his fingers, but Seth's drunken self has less self-control over his… desires.

—Seth, stop.

He complains and removes his hand, lifting his head. —You don't love me. Seth says, like a brat but looking a little better.

—I do, but I also want to go home. Are you sober now? Seth shakes his head; his eyes are starting to focus again.

—Kind of. I grab a water bottle from the car, and Seth chugs it down quickly; finally, he's ok to drive.

—You had quite a bit, huh? I've never seen you like that. Seth seems embarrassed to be that drunk, so I tease him a little more on the way home. I'm not tipsy, but I can't get rid of the alcohol in my blood like him, so we had no choice but to wait.

—Sorry. I didn't get much sleep when you were away, so I guess I was tired. Seth's excuse was supposed to make me sorry for leaving, but it won't work.

—You are very handsy too. Seth keeps his eyes on the road, looking so cute I could bite him. —I thought you didn't like the dress. He parks and gets off the car quickly, opening my door and still looking shy.

—I didn't mind, though… Seth thinks I'm still teasing him, so I pull his jacket down, moving his face closer to mine. I only stop for a second before taking his lips. His tongue is inside my mouth, and before I realize it, I'm in his arms, being carried to the house.

Seth puts me down to close the door and remove his shirt, so I run to the sofa, playfully avoiding him as I remove my shoes and let down my hair. My feet are killing me, but I want to make this more fun.

Like it's nothing, Seth outruns me. He picks me up again, taking us to the sofa this time.

Seth lies down on top of me, his lips going from my cheeks to my neck. My heart is beating fast, and my skin is on fire. His hands travel through my body, and I shiver when he kisses my legs, running his fingers through the stockings and lifting the dress.

I'm about to go crazy when Seth's kisses reach my stomach, making me laugh too hard and roll to the side. I thought I ruined the mood, but Seth holds my writs up with only one hand and kisses my body again, going up to my ribs, but I can't move this time. Soon my laughter turns into a moan as he gets close to my shoulder and ear, putting his free hand on my back and looking for my bra.

His fingers find the lock, and Seth lets go of my wrist. I stop him for a moment, removing the dress and the bra myself. This dress was too expensive to have sex in.

I push Seth to the sofa, getting on top of him and kissing his body as he did to me, feeling the excitement grow inside his pants, rubbing on my hips.

Seth sits up. His hands touch my back and bottom, squeezing my thighs almost too tight. I hug his neck, moaning in his ear, feeling his skin touching mine.

Maybe the alcohol is still in his system, or the stockings have some kind of effect on him, but Seth's rough today. His grip is tighter and more sensual.

I pull down his shorts, but Seth lays me on the sofa, too anxious to wait for my slow hands to get us naked. He looks around for a moment, loosearchingking for a condom, but I grab his face and kiss him, moaning his name, begging to have him inside me.

—But-

—It's ok. Just do it. Seth hesitates, but I can't wait anymore. Before I realize it, my hand reaches down, and Seth curves his body over mine, his breath on my neck. He hesitated before, but now it doesn't matter. Seth's inside me, moving the whole sofa underneath us and making my head spin in pleasure. I hold him closer, feeling his skin on my body and his breath on my ear.

I can feel my nails on his back, scratching the skin that must be healing instantly as I try to pull him closer. Seth's fingers are holding onto the stockings, going inside them as he grabs my thighs, pulling my leg up and filling up my body.

Seth's getting there; I can tell by how intensely he says my name between breaths. I want to have him like this forever. I want to be loved like this forever.

I hold onto his neck, anxious for the moment I can feel our bodies melting, and I'm finally allowed to breathe, but Seth pulls it out at the last minute, getting away from me.

—That was a close call. Seth says, laughing a bit. My legs are shaking, but there is something wrong. —We don't want that right now.

His words trigger me violently. I know what Seth means, and I'm aware it is a joke, but I couldn't keep a straight face this time, not with all this adrenaline in my blood and all that had happened the past few days. My emotions finally blow up in my face, like my mother said they would. And the cruelest words I ever told myself float in my head, making my heart ache in such pain I wonder if I can even move. "Ten points short."

That's how I feel right now. I'm not enough.

Standing up fast, I grab my panties and put on his shirt. I can't leave the house now, but I also can't stay beside Seth. I can't even stay within my own skin! So, I walk away from Seth, running to the kitchen in desperate need of breathing space.

—Anne? Seth comes over right behind me, putting on his shorts and looking confused as I place my hands over the sink, feeling like I am about to get sick. The air won't make its way into my lungs, and my head is spinning. I'll never be enough.

—Are you okay? Is something wrong? Seth asks. I shake my head, feeling the anger boil in my guts.

I had to tell him now. There is no other way, but I am not ready. Probably never will be. He'll leave you. You're not even close to what he hoped. —Was it something I did?

Seth thinks it's his fault. He never blames me, he always thinks it's his fault, but it never is. The problem is always me. You lied to him all this time. He'll never forgive you. —I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? Tell me what it is, and I won't do it again. Seth touches my shoulder gently, but in my panic, I shove it away, banging on the cabinets and throwing chairs. This is as far as you go. This is what you get for being selfish and a liar.

SHUT UP!

I can't think, but I recognize the feeling. A panic attack. The feeling that the world is closing down around me and that I have nowhere to escape. The voices telling me all my deepest fears. It's been a minute since I felt this way.

I believe the last time was when Mirania was in my head, telling me how my very existence is what killed my parents. I went on a rampage and almost killed myself that day, but before that, I managed to hurt Seth. To stab him in the stomach as deeply as my broken hand allowed me to. You'll hurt him again.

I came to terms with that. I felt the pain of that day and hoped it would never haunt me again, but bottled-up feelings are rarely released kindly from one's body. They bring up everything you thought you had recovered from, making the avalanche of pain more intense.

Seth held my arms when I threw the chairs, trying to calm me down. He's scared; I can see it in his eyes. I haven't said a word so far; I only threw half his kitchen on the floor like a lunatic. I struggle, pointlessly trying to shake his grip.

Seth won't let me go. He holds my shoulders, stopping me from banging everywhere until my strength depletes to exhaustion and tears finally come. —Anne, please, talk to me. Seth's hands on my shoulders are everything keeping me from falling to the floor. I bet he can't even notice he's everything holding me together right now. "One day, you'll find someone who is everything to you. Make sure to hold on to them when you do."

My mother's words pop into my confused mind. Like a switch from a light, I have clarity in my heart.

—It's not you. I say quietly. Seth puts me gently on the floor, and I place my head on his chest. Maybe if I don't look up, I can do this.

I have to tell him. Seth deserves to know the truth. I can't give him what he dreams of. Even if I love him with all my heart, I can't be what I wish to be to him.

Seth wants a family. He wants to live in his childhood home with kids, full of laughter and life. He deserves that. Seth deserves the world, and it pains me that I can't give it to him.

Of all of my flaws, this is the one that hurts me the most. This is proof that I'm an incomplete being. This is nature's way of saying that I'm not something that should be able to be reproduced. A one-time mistake that won't ever happen again.

—Anne, look at me. I can't look Seth in the eye, so I just say the words between quick breaths, getting it out of my chest, trying to breathe.

—It doesn't… matter.

—What doesn't matter?

—Close call or not, it doesn't matter. Seth holds my face up, but I keep my eyes down. —I can't… have children, Seth. I'm not… human enough. I can't give you that.

I said it. I feel like I'm about to puke, but I hold it back, watching Seth's face change at every word I say.

—But… you're mother, she-

—I'm not like her, Seth. He shakes his head, maybe absorbing what he said or just in denial.

—It's just something that I said; it's not-

—Don't lie to me. It's something you thought about. You've pictured it in your mind, and you want it. You can't have a family with me, Seth. Ever. Seth was born to be a father. I know he would be perfect at it, but if he's with me, he can never have that, and I can't keep hiding this from him.

—You are my family. I just need you.

—And when I'm not enough? You have all these fantastic brothers and a sister; you still live in your childhood home, and your face lights up when you see children. I know you want a family.

Seth looks at me, his eyes are dark and severe, and I immediately regret saying anything. I know those eyes all too well. Seth's about to be one hundred percent honest with me, and I'm not sure I want to hear it. I can feel my head closing up again, but this time, I hear something different than hurtful words. I'll always be here for you.

Esme. She said it didn't matter. That Seth wouldn't leave because of it. Esme was always there for me when I needed her. She's the one that saves my life and my soul. Esme is never wrong.

My mind is still a mess, but it doesn't go into a spiral this time. I grab onto Esme's words and wait for Seth to speak, holding my breath and feeling his hands on my shoulders.

—You're right. I… thought about it. As you said, I pictured having children and a big family. I… never thought I would never have that. Seth pauses, looking for the words to continue, and his silence crushes my heart.

Seth lived longer than me. I'm not sure how long, but he's been immortal for quite some time, and I'm sure he's ready to settle down. He probably hoped to live his life as a shape-shifter and one day settle down and live a peaceful human life until he could finally leave his legacy behind and die in peace.

But, ever since we met, I made his life a mess.

—But Seth finally speaks. —I wouldn't do it without you, Anne. I'm… surprised to hear that, but it doesn't change anything; you gotta know that. I want to be with you for the rest of my days, no matter what.

Seth's sweet words squeeze my heart in agony. He was willing to give up such a big dream for me, and I never wanted that.

—I don't want you to sacrifice your dreams for me. I want to give you… everything, and it kills me that I can't. My hands grab tightly onto Seth's arm. I'm afraid he'll walk away once Seth realizes what he's sacrificing.

—You are everything, Anne. I told you. I just need you by my side. But how can I keep him if I'm consistently depriving him of his wishes? Why would Seth stay if he has to make all these sacrifices, but I can't even give him the one thing I know he wants?

—I love you… so much. I don't want to lose you. My voice is cracking and small as I grab tighter and tighter to his arm, pulling him towards me like he's about to walk away. —I wish… I wish I could-

—Anne, it's all right. You're not going to lose me. I won't leave you.

—I love you… I love you… The words leave my mouth without rest. I'm so sorry to Seth that I can't say anything else. Seth holds me on his lap, arms around me and hugging my whole body, making me feel safe.

—I love you too. Seth says, kissing my head.

My fear of being left alone became more profound than before. I thought I was healing and accepting the pain, but I couldn't. Just the thought of losing the people I love takes my mind to ground zero. I feel like I'm in that forest, waking up for the first time, afraid and lost.

My parents left me without a goodbye, and I never felt I did enough for them. They got everything perfectly in place for me to live without having to work or worry about money, but I couldn't even fight for them. I was too busy being annoyed to return home at the right time to save them.

I made Esme and everyone fight for me twice because I couldn't solve my mess alone. Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, and Carlisle all went around running in circles because of me, but I could one stand still, unable to help, afraid to become a nuisance to everyone.

But, the one I hurt the most was Seth. He was there for me every moment, but I took him for granted too many times. I stabbed him, broke his heart, threw stuff at him, and made him worry about me every single minute of the day because of how irresponsible I was.

I could never thank him enough for all he did, so I wanted him to have everything: friends, a family, love, anything he desired. All I wanted was his heart in return, but my bargain fell short. I couldn't give him a single thing, and he wouldn't entrust such an important thing to me for long.

But he is Seth. He is the most gentle, loving, courageous, selfless person I have ever met. He held me dearly in his arms and told me I was enough. That all he needed was me even when I doubted my importance in his life. He said he loved me repeatedly, but I couldn't bring myself to believe someone like him could simply love me. He could have so much more, but he chose me, the girl that fell ten points short her whole life. How long could my luck last?

Seth sat with me on the floor, holding me until I stopped crying.

—How are you feeling? Do you want to stand up? Seth asks, touching my hair and looking at my face.

—Why? Do your legs hurt? Seth must be tired from sitting in that position for so long.

—Don't… mind me right now. He says, breathing deeply. —Tell me about you. Do you want to stand up?

Just wishing not to stay away from him, I hold onto his arm more. —I'll stand up if you want to.

Seth breathes again, holding back the annoyance at my parrot speech.

—I'm sorry. My voice cracks again, and I hide my face.

—No, I'm not- Sorry. Seth holds me in his arms, walks toward the sofa, and gently sits me down. —I'll get the blankets.

Seth stands up, and my body moves instinctively to follow him, missing his warmth. I don't want to be too far from him, but I don't want to be a nuisance, so I just stand there, holding the bottom hem of the shirt and looking down, not knowing what to do. I'm I being too much?

—You're following me. Seth's voice sounds annoyed to my ears, and I start to cry again like a fool.

—Ok, ok, it's all good. I like it. Here. Seth holds my hand, and I wipe the tears off my face with the back of my hand and feeling foolish for being such a baby. —I won't go anywhere, all right?

Not to trigger the tears again, I nod lightly, keeping my head down and holding his fingers tightly. Seth's loud defeated sigh makes me look up, and he hugs me.

—I can't. You're too cute. His words make me smile a little and my heart lighter.

Esme was right. I should have known Seth would be his perfect gentle self no matter what. I was the one being hard on myself, feeling like I was lacking something. It has been like that since I was born. Not human enough; not vampire enough; not strong enough; not powerful enough.

"You are perfect as you are, and we are proud of the woman you became." My mother said it best. I may not feel perfect, but I am what I am. Seth accepted that, and I should too. I may fall behind in certain things, but that's okay because the thing I know I have an abundance of is love. That is the thing that I'll never run out of. Even when I thought I didn't deserve it, I was loved. I'm loved by my parents, by Esme, and by Seth. My thankful heart wants to retribute the love so bad I would do anything for them, but I need to accept my limits as they do.

We went to bed together, holding each other and talking until we fell asleep. I didn't want to cry again, but it happened one too many times when I told Seth how I found out about my infertility situation and how it affected me. Of course, Seth was the best listener and friend I could ever ask for. I also heard about how he feels. I thought maybe he was disappointed, but Seth said he was just surprised for a moment, nothing more.

—It really doesn't matter, Anne. I wanted to be honest with you; that's why I said I thought about it, but I would never leave you because of that. I'm kinda sad you think I would.

—I didn't! I mean, I did, but… it's complicated. I didn't doubt Seth; I doubted myself. I wasn't confident enough to make him happy the way I am today.

—I know, complicated.

—You do?

—I really thought I was going to lose you that day, Anne. Even if you survived, I was ready never to get close to you again if you told me to. Maybe I should have, but I'm not like you. Seth's words confuse me. I have no idea what he means.

—Like me? Does he mean like a crying, clingy baby who can't walk with her own legs?

—You are… so much stronger than me, you know. When I want to run and hide, you jump head-on. You're kind and give people chances when I didn't think they deserved it. You fight for what you believe in and do what needs to be done even when you're afraid. I really love that in you, although it makes me worried every day. Seth laughs, but I know his face is serious as I keep mine resting on his chest.

I never thought of myself like that. In my head, I'm constantly shaking in fear, but I guess my poker face makes me look brave.

—I only protect you and my friends. I wish I could be helpful, but I can't fight beside you, so…

—I'll do the punching, and you can stay right here, like this, with me. Throwing a fist around is nothing, Anne. Caring for the people we love the way you do is something special, and I love you even more for that.

—I love you too, Seth. I always will.

Seth is everything to me. No one in this world will accept me the way he does. In every crazy thought, panic spiral, or anxiety I have, he is always there for me, and I want to be there for him too. I'll make sure to be there for him.

We lay down together until we fell asleep. It feels surreal, but tomorrow is a new day at school, and we must prepare. But, now that all the secrets are over, there is nothing in our way anymore.