Nikita waited for Michael and Birkhoff at the safehouse. She couldn't stay in the loft with the ghost of the videotape lingering on her computer much longer. She needed a place where she could breathe and think and not be alone. The safehouse was always a much better place for that than the loft. She could take in the fresh air of the woods, pace around the wide open spaces, and be surrounded by the full presence of her team. She needed that to calm down. Her thoughts continuously ran a million miles an hour, and she had to settle them. To truly help Alex, Nikita needed to ease her fears and focus. Her too young mole needed at least that from her.
When Michael and Birkhoff finally returned to the safehouse, Nikita was still anxious. However, her pent up energy had become entirely directed towards Alex. Before the others could even drop their bags or relax after their long trip, she told them about what their mole had gone through and the things she had seen on the videotape. Most importantly, Nikita shared her concerns about Alex becoming just like her- too consumed with revenge and rage that she destroyed who she was. The rest of her life had been destroyed; her identity couldn't be too.
Birkhoff and Michael instantly agreed to the idea of helping Alex, especially after they were filled in on everything she had been forced to experience in the brothel. However, both wanted to consider all their options before they broke Alex out of Division. They should contemplate different plans and discuss the idea with the young agent; she should be in the discussion about her life. No one should make a decision without her. But the rogues could at least get things ready for an escape. Michael expressed that, "Just in case, we should get a fake ID for Alex first. A good one. One that Division can't track."
"I know someone who can do that. He made me one for that recruit, Sara. But it costs a lot of money," Nodding, Nikita informed the men about her contact who could form fake identities better than the CIA, Division, or even Birkhoff. The hacker took offense to that at first. But as Nikita continued to discuss her contact, he had to admit that he never thought about the things the other man did for a fake identity, such as fingerprints. The contact was the best option to turn to for Alex. After all, Division had no clue Sara was still alive. If she was able to stay hidden for so long, then Alex might have the same chance.
"Don't worry. I got it," Birkhoff had plenty of money to spare; and if not, he could always steal more. The money he had made from swindling amoral rich people funded the rogues' efforts (also some money Nikita was able to steal from bad guys along the way). They weren't short on funds for their war efforts. Even if they were, Birkhoff would still have no trouble spending his money to help Alex. Their mole had done so much for them, putting her life in danger and risking her deal to kill the man who ordered the hit on her family. The least the hacker could do to help was spend some money.
"We'll work on a plan while you get the ID," Michael continued his support of Nikita's idea. There had been moments in his own mission to avenge his family that he lost himself to his immense hatred. He had almost lost Birkhoff and Nikita because of that hatred as hell. He was lucky that they had understood and had stuck with him. Otherwise, he'd still have been lost. That destructive hatred wasn't something he'd wish on anyone, especially not Alex. Nikita was right, the young woman deserved better than that life. She should have more than they ever did.
"Thank you," Smiling softly, Nikita expressed. She didn't know why she would have doubted Michael and Birkhoff. They had helped Alex with the killchip, of course they'd also help her escape. They cared for their mole just as much as Nikita did. She wasn't the only one protecting Alex, not by a long shot. The young woman had a whole team at her back- not just Michael, Birkhoff, and Nikita, but also Ryan and Owen. And, she had a boyfriend. Alex would be okay. There were a lot of people in her life that'd ensure she wouldn't suffer anymore.
"Of course. It's for Alex," Michael confirmed just that with a smile. Nikita squeezed his hand gratefully, then hurried to call her contact about the fake ID. Birkhoff said he'd get the cash for her; she simply had to tell him the amount. He had some time to gather it for her, since they weren't going to pay until after the ID packet was made. Also, Nikita was instructed to gather things for her contact that'd make the forgery process faster- such as a photograph and fingerprints. With Alex stuck detoxing in Division, the rogue had to break into her apartment to receive those things. She simply hoped it'd be a quick and easy find.
Breaking into Alex's apartment was fairly easy. Birkhoff gave Nikita a signal jammer that'd keep her hidden from any potential Division cameras. She could search the place and run without any danger falling on the rogues or their mole. At least, it was supposed to be like that. While Nikita grabbed what she needed, someone snuck into the apartment behind her. She heard the floorboard creak before she saw the baseball bat raised to strike her. Quickly, she ripped it away from her assailant and shoved him to the ground. The man wasn't able to give much of a fight. She stood above him and taunted, "Slow down. You'll hurt yourself with this thing."
"Who are you? Why are you breaking into this apartment?" Frantically getting to his feet, the man questioned her desperately. Nikita's suspicion that he was Division was waning fast. He didn't seem like he'd been in that many dangerous situations, if any. Coming at a potential robber with a baseball bat was probably the extent of his crisis prevention. Nikita didn't have much to worry about. Yet, she continued to keep her guard up. She didn't know what else she could encounter in a Division controlled apartment. She had to be prepared for anything.
"You're the one attacking a woman with a bat," Nikita waved the baseball bat like the incriminating evidence that it was. She had a feeling she was only talking to one of Alex's neighbors and not Division. They probably saw her sneak in and became concerned. She then wondered if she was talking to Sean or Nathan. It would've been befitting Nathan's protective boyfriend mode to storm in Alex's apartment if he thought there was an intruder. And Alex had described Sean as overly observant and helpful; though, she hadn't talked about him recently. Any one of the people in her life could've stormed in to help her. That was a comforting thought.
"This is my girlfriend's place," Finding his courage, Nathan snapped at Nikita. She completely relaxed at his words. She knew Nathan; at least, she knew of him- far more than she knew of Sean. The rogue had absolutely nothing to worry about. She could easily talk herself out of the apartment, only leaving Nathan with more questions about where Alex was. Of course, later, Nikita would talk to Alex about the encounter so she could incorporate the rogue into her cover story. But in the meantime, Nikita could simply take what she needed and leave.
"Oh! So you're Nathan. It's alright. I'm a friend of Alex's. I'm just picking up something for her," Nikita stated vaguely as she made her way out of the apartment. She had already grabbed a picture of Alex and a glass with her fingerprints on it before Nathan decided to be a hero. She could leave the building and never look back. The fake ID was more important than talking to Alex's boyfriend anyway. He could get more complete answers from her once she returned home. Nikita left it up to her to explain everything that had happened.
"Where is she? Is she alright?" However, before Nikita could make it out of the door, Nathan asked her. He sounded more desperate than he did when he thought she was a burglar; though, he was trying hard to hide it. He hadn't heard from Alex in days, and that obviously scared the shit out of him. Nikita breaking in and hardly giving him any answers didn't help. As far as he knew, Alex was in some sort of trouble and desperately needed help. Although that was true, there wasn't anything Nathan could do. He just needed to be there for her when she came home. The rogues would take care of the rest.
"She's fine for now. Don't worry. She'll be back in your arms in no time," Nikita smiled warmly and comfortingly. All Nathan had to be for Alex was her normal, sturdy rock; someone to hold to while crazy hell crashed around her. The team would take care of her on the superspy end. Nathan just had to be there for her and comfort her when she finally came home. Nikita also hoped he'd accept whatever explanation he was told and just focus on supporting Alex. He seemed like he would as he nodded at the rogue. Things would be fine for Alex on the homefront. She didn't need to worry about that as well- thank God.
Following Amanda into Alexandra's Medical room, Sean was too stunned for words. The young agent laid barely conscious on a cot, IVs pumping various drugs into her system. Although the doctor explained that it was a mixture of a saline solution and drugs to help Alexandra detox, Sean was hardly paying attention. He was too concerned with what had happened on her mission to lead her to that state. Amanda wouldn't give him any answers. She was too excited by the fact that the drugs left Alexandra in a highly susceptible dreamlike state; she could draw secrets from whatever the young woman said in her dreams.
Sean didn't want secrets or to pry into Alexandra's dreams. He only wanted to know who had caused her pain. Amanda continued to be of no help, yet he was eventually led to Kelly, who had brought Alexandra back from the disastrous op. She told Sean about what she had witnessed in the brothel the young agent was dragged to, but that was all. Although he felt as though she was holding something back, he didn't press for more. Knowing the horrors Alexandra faced was enough. It made him want to leave the confining basement so he could think clearly.
He decided to return to his apartment so he could breathe deeply and so he could update Oversight on Alexandra. He didn't want Division to overhear him, mostly because his reports also involved what the black ops unit was doing. He needed as much privacy as possible, and- although it wasn't the best- his apartment was a far better place than the bunker. It was also just a tad more interesting. When Sean had finished his phone call and stepped back out into the hallway, he spotted a woman exiting Alexandra's apartment. He never saw her face, but he did see her long legs and dark hair- her recognizable long legs and dark hair, "Who's that?"
"Some friend of Alex's. I didn't get her name," Nathan, who had exited the apartment shortly after the mysterious woman had, shrugged. He watched her disappear around the corner, attempting to wrap his head around their strange encounter. He couldn't. At least it was as strange as some of his encounters with Alex; it wasn't too out of the ordinary. In fact, the truly odd thing was Sean's expression as he stared at the woman's retreating form. He seemed absolutely bewildered- almost in shock by her appearance. Nathan became more curious about that than the woman. Was something going on that he was missing, "Do you know her?"
"I hope I don't," Sean shook his head. He had read descriptions and seen pictures of Division's rogues, but mostly of their faces or them in action. There was a chance that he couldn't recognize them from behind. He hoped that was the chance, anyway. He didn't want to think about why Nikita Mears would be in Alexandra's apartment. He didn't want to consider how a rogue agent knew where to find a Division agent. He didn't want to believe she truly was a friend of Alexandra's. He had been mistaken. The woman wasn't Nikita, just an associate of Alexandra's that Sean didn't know. That had to be the explanation, not the worst case scenario.
Alex felt like she was swimming. Not through a pool or a lake or even an ocean. She wasn't being pulled in and out of waves or being bobbed around. But she was drowning. She struggled to keep her head above the surface, yet she was constantly pulled under. It was difficult to breathe. Each breath was a battle. It was almost as though she was sprinting between each sharp tug underneath the surface. There was no reprieve. She couldn't fight her way out of that war. She was swimming and drowning into nothingness. She had no escape.
At times, Alex thought she heard Amanda's voice. Something was guiding her through the nothingness. It sounded like Amanda when she could hear. When she couldn't, she only had herself. She was the only one who could get herself out before the nothingness swallowed her whole. She needed to breathe. She needed to swim. She needed to run with herself in hand. Nikita eventually arrived to help her. But she was soon distracted by Michael and just had to run off with him. Alex was left alone once again. All she had was herself- and occasionally Amanda's soft voice. No one else was going to save her. She was all she ever had.
As she struggled to stay above the nothingness, everything became so much harder. She had to hide herself from it. She had to battle new obstacles that kept herself from the surface. She had to find different ways to escape. After what felt like an eternity, Alex thought she found her exit. She pulled herself into the light, needing it to be home. It was. She was bathed in light and warmth and all the things she wanted. She had made it. The nothingness couldn't drag her into oblivion. She had beat it. She had made it back home with love and a family. Alex had done it. She wasn't what anyone else had made her. She was herself.
For a brief moment anyway, she had bliss. Then, upon hearing Amanda's voice again, it all disappeared. She made it disappear as the nothingness stopped her breathing. She had no strength left to fight it. Alex lost the war. She couldn't swim anymore; she simply drowned. Far deep underneath the surface, she was dragged and dragged without end. She couldn't even compare it to falling. At least falling had an end. She'd splat against the ground and then be in pain. The agony she experienced while being dragged started within her. It broke out through her veins, consuming her whole. There was no reprieve. She had no escape.