Chapter Six:
"She's testing you."
After Alya had nearly tripped over her own feet trying to get to her room, Natasha could no longer hold in her laughs.
The look of horror on Alya's face was hilarious and she couldn't help it.
"I know that." Bucky ran a hand through his chin-length locks. He had to get around to hacking it off, it was way too much work and he didn't really like having long hair in the first place. "Trust me, I know."
"You're doing a pretty good job so far." The redhead nudged him. "What were you planning on doing if she let you get to 'five'?"
"I don't know." The man shrugged. "I just hoped that the count would be enough and I was right."
"You know, one day her curiosity is going to get the best of her and she's going to step over the line." She warned. "You need to be ready for that."
"I don't want to scar her for life."
He was so afraid of triggering her with anything he did, so he tried to leave most of the scolding to Natasha, that is, until tonight.
"Ha!" Natasha held her head back and laughed once again. "Scar her? That little girl knows exactly what she's doing and she's going to keep pushing until you push back. And you'd better start pushing back before she does something dangerous to get your attention."
"What do you do?"
"Depends on what kind of trouble she gets herself into." She shrugged. "Sometimes I have her take a timeout for a few minutes to calm down and think."
"She's twelve, Talia."
"And she hates it." She wiggled her eyebrows. "She can't stand the thought of being confined to one space while everyone else gets to do whatever they want. It drives her up the wall."
"Sounds like it works."
"It does, but there are times when I make her write lines or I make her go to bed early." She added. "But when she doesgo to bed early, I make sure that I spend time with her, one-on-one in her room so she doesn't feel like she's being ignored. I don't want her to have a negative relationship with sleep...Can I ask you something?"
"You just did." He smirked, making her roll her eyes.
"Why did you threaten to spank her if you weren't going to follow through?" Her head tilted to the side.
"What makes you think I wouldn't follow through?"
"You looked like you were fighting back tears after she left the room, James. I don't think you could handle it. A few little pops here and there, sure and even then, you'd have to be pushed. But other than that, I don't think you have it in you."
"I don't want to do anything that's going to freak her out." He stood up and began to detach Alya's Lego so that he could put them back in the box. The conversation was a little uncomfortable and he needed to do something with his hands. "But, I wanted to let her know I was serious about not letting other people hurt her."
"She's not made of glass, James." Natasha remembered a time where Yelena had said the same thing, and, boy, was she right. "I know that you feel bad about what happened to her in the Red Room, but that's not your fault. You can't raise her and carry that guilt at the same time. She'll run right over you just to get you to see her. You've been doing a great job so far, I've been watching the two of you."
Bucky knew she was right.
Alya was getting comfortable enough to try to test the boundaries a little. It was nice to know that she felt safe enough to do it, but there was a point where he had to nip it.
No one else could do it, but him.
"I know that you helped raise your sisters and I know you took care of Steve." She gave him a soft look, her green eyes boring into his steely blues. "Alya wants you around. She needs you….and you need her, so do what's best for her."
"Alya, what are you doing in here? I'm trying to read." Wanda never bothered looking up from her book when she noticed her little sister entering the room. "You're supposed to be in bed."
"I can't sleep." Alya climbed up into bed next to her, shuffling underneath the covers.
"Why?"
"I think Papa's mad at me." She shrugged her shoulders before playing with the patterned quilt.
Wanda liked a lot of flowers and polka dots, so that's what was on the quilt.
"Why do you say that?" Wanda put her book down and turned to face her.
She knew Alya had gotten herself into some sort of trouble, having heard the exchange all the way from her room, but she wanted the little girl to tell her herself.
"I didn't listen to him and he almost counted to 'five'. He and Mama were talking when I was coming over here and I don't think he wants me anymore."
"Alya, that's ridiculous." The teen rolled her eyes. "Of course he wants you. What has he done to make you feel like that?"
"Nothing." Alya admitted. "I just do."
"Well, I can't tell you what to do." Wanda smirked before adding. "No one can."
"I listen!"
"If you listened, you would be in your own bed, in your own room." She raised a brow. "I think you should talk to him and tell him how you feel. You're not getting anywhere by keeping it to yourself. Remember last time?"
"That was different." Alya huffed and crossed her arms. "If I tell him, he's gonna leave. I know he will."
"Alya…."
"I don't want him to leave." Her bottom lip quivered, prompting Wanda to pull her in for a hug and cradle her head. "I don't want him to not want me anymore."
Alya was so confused.
She wanted to test Bucky to see how far she could push him until he left, but she didn't him to leave. She was pretty sure that if she pushed too far, he would't want her anymore, but she kept pushing.
Her insides were all twisted up and her chest hurt.
When he found out how messed up she was, he wasn't going to want to have anything to do with her. Dreykov and Madame B had done a serious number on her and even though on the surface level, she looked okay, she still struggled.
Why was he here, anyway?
It didn't make any sense. They spent three years together before she was taken away. He was free. He could come and go as he pleased.
Why would he want to be tied down to some kid?
It wasn't this complicated with her mother, so why was it so complicated with her father?
"Hi, Wanda." Steve greeted the girl as she got off the elevator early the next morning. "What brings you here? Did you miss my pancakes?"
"No." She shook her head, wrapping her arms around her torso. She didn't feel very comfortable doing this, but she felt that as a big sister, it was her job to make the hard calls when Alya couldn't. Watching the girl cry herself to sleep wasn't something she ever wanted to experience again. "I mean, yes, but that's not why I'm here."
"Okay." Steve could see that something was probably weighing heavy on her mind. He gestured for her to sit at the island so they could talk about it. "Is something wrong, Doll?"
Wanda loved it when Steve called her, 'Doll'. It made her feel special, like she was a part of something nice. He called Alya that, too, but it didn't take away from how warm it made her feel.
"Yeah, it's Alya."
"What about her?" He asked, placing two bowls on the counter after filling them with milk. Being how early it was, he suspected that she hadn't eaten yet, so he wanted to take care of that.
"She's really upset about something." She sighed, trying to find the right words. "I don't think she wanted me to say anything, but I stayed quiet last time and I shouldn't have."
Keeping Alya's powers a secret all those years ago had been a mistake. She should've never promised not to say anything, especially to Natasha. All that time she spent in the Raft was proof of that.
Because if Alya hadn't told her mother at the last minute, she might have ended up right there next to her, in a straight jacket and a shock collar.
They'd just barely dodged that problem.
Wanda didn't want another close call.
"If something is upsetting her and you know about it, you have every right to tell someone that you think can help." Steve assured her, pouring some Apple Jacks into her bowl.
"Okay, but don't tell her I told you."
"Of course not." He winked.
"Alya thinks that if she pushes hard enough, Bucky is going to stop wanting her and leave." She twirled her spoon around in the milk, avoiding his eyes.
"She told you that?"
"Last night."
It made sense, but Steve couldn't believe it. Bucky had been so happy when he found out they knew where Alya was and he was even happier when he got the chance to be in her life again.
What was making Alya believe the opposite?
"She's really upset and I tried to tell her it wasn't true, but she won't listen."
"They'll figure it out." His eyebrows scrunching together in thought. "Eat up."
As much as he would've loved to swoop in and help, he knew he couldn't. This kind of reassurance could only come from Bucky. Alya was going to have to be the one to open up to him or it would all be for naught.
"I wanna stay with Tetushka." Alya pouted when her mother told her that it was time to go to bed.
Natasha really couldn't help but be annoyed that she seemed to be picking her bedtime as the chance to rebel these days. She knew that it was normal, but by this point, she was tired and she just wanted to relax without the fight.
"You can go see Tetushka tomorrow, Alya. Right now, you need to go to sleep." She stayed firm.
"No!" Alys stomped her foot, protesting the only way she knew how. "I have to go!"
Natasha could see that the twelve year old was fishing for her father's attention. She was so predictable in that sense. She was always five steps ahead of her daughter, this wasn't anything new.
"Why do you have to go?"
To that, Alya didn't have answer.
She wanted to know why her father wasn't saying anything. He was just sitting on the couch, watching an old movie, while sipping on what looked like, some tea.
"Can I go?"
"No, sweet girl." Natasha made it a point to cup her chin while she was denying her request, to soften the blow. "You'll see her tomorrow."
Alya sniffled and inside, it felt like her whole world was falling apart. She didn't really want to go to Yelena's. That wasn't important.
She didn't know what she wanted anymore, actually.
She was so confused.
Her sniffles turned into soft whimpers and her knees buckled underneath her as she sunk to the floor. Natasha watched as she took the slow fall and allowed her some time to compose herself.
Though she was twelve, Alya sometimes had difficulty dealing with things with the emotional maturity of other kids her age. Her formative years were the ideal time for her to be taught that, but they were spent in the Red Room where fighting and espionage took top priority.
Natasha had patience.
She knew Alya was still learning.
When Clint had rescued her from the Red Room and brought her to the farm for the first time, she was even worse. Alya was miles ahead of her in terms of behavioral issues.
It just took time and patience.
"I wanna go…" Alya rubbed her eyes, not even paying attention to what she was saying.
"Alya, come here, please." Her father finally called out to her.
She pushed herself up to stand and shuffled over to the couch before Bucky lifted her to sit on his lap. She didn't know what he wanted, but she went all the same.
"Let's watch something on tv." His voice was soft and he didn't sound like he was mad at all.
Alya wiped away her blurry vision and watched his fingers press down on the buttons of the remote, changing the channel to some show that was in black and white.
The comfort should've felt nice, but it didn't.
She wanted to know what his angle was. Wasn't that a tantrum she just threw? Why wasn't he upset?
What was his angle?
There weren't any answers to her questions that night, because with the soft rhythm of her father's flesh hand patting her back, and the soothing rise and fall of his chest, she couldn't stay awake for much longer.
Her questions would just have to wait.