Every time the front door opened and a group of new people arrived at the party, Hawk's glance shot up from his drink and his heart skipped some beats.

But it was never her.

He didn't know what he had hoped for. From what Miguel and Aisha had told him (which wasn't much, they were reluctant to let him know anything - Sky had clearly told them to keep quiet) Hawk had understood Sky had barely left the house since their break up.

So she probably wasn't going to show up here either - no matter that all her friends were now present. Miguel, Aisha - and even those despised Miyagi-Do's, who had just walked into the house.

Hawk glared at Demetri, who stood by the door, holding a fucking Trivial Pursuit against his lanky chest, and couldn't help a scoff. Where did he think he was? At a nursing home?

He looked so out of place in this lively, loud party, that Hawk almost felt sorry for him. Almost. And then he remembered the Yelp review, the Mall fight, his kick that had landed on Demetri's gut, the way he had run away, fear in his eyes.

He turned his gaze back down into the beer he was holding, then took a slow, deliberate gulp. Everything in him was tense, restless, agonized and he wanted to drown the mess of unwanted emotion that made him feel like a fucking loser.

Again the door opened and a group of girls entered the space that was already full of partying teenagers and blasting music. They were some of Moon's cheerleader friends and they swept through the doors in a swirl of girly giggle, short skirts, and bright smiles - and it all reminded Hawk so bitterly of Sky that he felt like he would choke. He was greedy for the sight of her, desperate to get even a glimpse of her, to hear her voice again, and even that he was not granted.

He took another gulp of his beer, grimaced at the taste.

And even if she would show up… It's not like she wants anything to do with me.

She fucking dumped my ass.

He knew very well he should stop thinking about Sky already. He should feel like he pretended to feel in front of everyone - like he didn't give a shit. Like he was over her already, carefree, laughing, badass. He knew he should stop being this pathetic, brokenhearted loser and start being an alpha again, he should stand up and walk to those pretty cheerleaders who were all fucking hot and had great tits, and maybe he'd be banging one of them before this party was over.

But that thought felt wrong. It felt like a dagger in his gut. The only one he wanted to kiss or make love to was Sky, and she had said she never wanted to see him again.

These past weeks had been torture, he felt like he was the one who had almost died, like it was his heart that had been torn right off his chest, and he was still bleeding, he would be bleeding until there was nothing left and he would truly be dead.

Nothing made sense without Sky. He didn't even know who the Hell he was anymore.

He took another sip of beer, wishing he'd opted for something stronger, as someone sat down by his side on the couch.

He turned to look in disbelief.

Demetri.

Of all the people in the world, he was the last one Hawk had expected to sit on the same couch with him. Hell, Hawk was surprised Demetri wanted to be in the same room with him after everything that had happened between them during this summer.

Could that nerd really be naive enough to believe Moon's crap about all of them being friends again?

There was no chance of that happening. Ever.

"You checked out the new Doctor Who trailer?" Demetri asked, clearly nervous, his posture tense and agitated.

Hawk rolled his eyes and drank some more of his beer while muttering a response. "I don't watch nerd shit."

A short, awkward silence followed, but Demetri wasn't discouraged.

"You know, uh, Moffat isn't the showrunner anymore."

That piqued Hawk's interest, no matter what. A sudden memory of him watching Doctor Who with Demetri and Sky in his basement some time last winter flashed through his mind. It must've been when he was still new at being Hawk, when he was still friends with Demetri - effortlessly, like they were brothers. It had been when he had just started dating Sky - he remembered the nervous need in his veins, the nameless wanting he'd had for her when she sat on his lap, making his mind swarm with images of all the things he wanted to do to her. But she had leaned her head against his shoulder, and watched the show, pausing it constantly to complain about the lack of credible female characters and calling Moffat a misogynist. Demetri had been annoyed, but Hawk hadn't cared either way - he'd had the whole world in his lap and he had never been happier in his life.

"Wait, really?" He asked, unable to keep silent. "Since when? Is there a new doctor? What's he like?"

Demetri grinned, and Hawk could not help replying with a small twitch of the corner of his mouth.

"She's badass."

"She? No way!" and then. "Does Sky know?"

He regretted those words as soon as he'd said them. Her name was the sweetest, most painful thing on his lips, and Demetri must have noticed the emotion behind it.

Hawk turned his eyes away, in search of something else to look at. It was all gone. Never again would he watch Doctor Who with Sky and Demetri, never would Sky sit on his lap again, never would he run his fingers through her curls inhaling her scent of strawberry shampoo and vanilla, never would he listen Sky and Demetri argue over Moffat's stupid writing while they all still loved the show. It was gone, all gone, it belonged in another lifetime, but why did it feel so fucking bad?

After all, he was Hawk. He wasn't supposed to care.

When he was still searching for something to say, the front door opened and Sky walked in.

Hawk's chest went tight at the sight of her, his throat turned dry.

Sky was wearing black jeans and a simple, black halterneck top that revealed the Phoenix tattoo. No high heels - just plain converse sneakers, equally black. She wore her hair in a high ponytail, and even if Hawk didn't know shit about makeup he could tell it was different than before. Her eyes were circled with black liner, even the glitter eyeshadow she had was black.

The lack of color on her felt like a slap on the face.

Hawk had never seen her wear black before - if you didn't count the gi she had been wearing when winning the All Valley. Sky had always loved bright colors, patterned tops and cute, girly dresses with frills or lace or flowers. Not this. It felt wrong even if she looked amazing. She carried her new look like it was armor and Hawk couldn't draw his eyes off her as she walked in, greeted Moon with a hug, and swiftly made her way past Hawk and Demetri towards the kitchen. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and gave Demetri a warm smile as she went, but did not acknowledge Hawk's presence at all.

Demetri replied to Sky's greeting with an awkward wave and a smile, which made something twist and turn painfully in Hawk's chest. It felt like a living thing trapped inside his ribcage, a creature of sharp claws and razorblade teeth tearing at his heart.

When she was gone, Demetri leaned closer to Hawk, a sympathetic look on his stupid face.

"Time to give up, man," he said. "She's moved on."

Hawk glanced at Demetri, a bitter taste on his lips.

"Yeah?" he muttered bitterly. "And what do you know about it?"

Demetri shrugged. "You know, she talks to me."

"She does, huh?"

Demetri failed to notice the venomous tone of Hawk's voice. "Well, I've been keeping her company lately so that she doesn't have to be alone. You know, these past weeks have been pretty hard for her."

Hawk turned his eyes towards the kitchen but Sky was nowhere to be seen. Her absence felt like he'd been deprived of oxygen, his chest was about to collapse.

He wanted her back, wanted that more than anything in his life.

"Yeah, I'm still gonna talk to her tonight." He muttered to his beer, making Demetri let out a long sigh.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Getting upset is the last thing she needs now."

"Defeat doesn't exist." Hawk groaned.

"There's that winning attitude that pushed her away in the first place. I think you need a healthy dose of inner peace. It's worked for me."

Demetri laid a hand on his shoulder, and Hawk glanced at that hand, then raised his eyes back at Demetri's face.

Oh, how he hated him at that moment. How he despised that pathetic nerd who had stolen his rightful place by Sky's side. The thought of Sky pouring her heart out to Demetri, telling him all Hawk's evil deeds was almost too much to take.

"Oh Yeah?" He asked, and stood up. Without hesitation he emptied his beer on Demetri's head, soaking his hair and clothes. When Demetri failed to respond, he scoffed at his former brother. "That's what I thought. Still a pussy."

People laughed, and Hawk threw the cup onto the floor. The look in Demetri's eyes threatened to break something inside Hawk's chest, but he forced that disgusting, unwanted emotion away and stared Demetri down before turning his back at him.

People's laughter echoed over the music as he walked away, but he didn't turn to look.

After all - he was Hawk. He didn't care.