CHAPTER EIGHT
A few hours later Mike startled in his sleep. Someone was in the room with him. At first, he thought maybe one of the boys was seeking him out, and he turned groggily towards the person sitting on his bed. It occurred to him that the person was much bigger than the boys.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Ginny said quietly, almost embarrassed. She seemed to be contemplating her choices in that moment now that Mike was awake. He wondered what her original intensions had been. She seemed conflicted and Mike decided he could move to the couch and give her the privacy of the bedroom.
"I can move to the couch," Mike said as he sat up and went to get up. Her hand darted out and gripped his forearm, stopping him.
"No, it's okay," Ginny said with a sigh. "Stay in your bed," she whispered then got up and left the room.
Mike laid their a little dumbfounded as to what had just happened. Finally, his brain registered that she had walked out, and he got up from the bed and walked out towards the living room. He found Ginny standing at the guest bedroom, staring in at her boys as they slept. She noticed him come out and she shut the door and walked into his kitchen. Mike followed her. He stood leaning against the back of his couch watching her as she fingered the new keys on his table. He saw his key lying next to them. The silence was getting thick and heavy, and Mike felt the need to break the pressure.
"I'm sorry about earlier," Mike said softly. He looked down at the ground while he crossed his arms over his chest. He looked up to see Ginny looking at him smiling sadly.
"So am I. I'm sorry I got angry. I know you're just trying to help. I think I'm struggling because I've never had someone help me before who didn't expect something in return. I just keep waiting for that shoe to drop."
"I don't expect anything, from you…or the boys," Mike sighed.
"I know, but it's a hard habit to break," Ginny said with a shrug. "I did a lot of thinking tonight and I want to say I am truly sorry for how I reacted. I never should have defended Jeremy. And you're right, you don't know him or what he is capable. And I think I don't really either. I just wanted to feel like I didn't…pick a…I don't know."
"It's okay. I just want you and the boys to be safe. Right now, Ty doesn't feel that. He's worried about you."
"I feel like a failure," Ginny said as tears slipped down her face. Mike bit at the inside of his lip.
"You're not. You've been thrown into a land of chaos and you're doing the best you can with what you got."
"Thank you," Ginny said as she shuddered. He saw her take a deep breath and close her eyes. The tears dried up and she sniffed her nose. She picked up her new key, leaving the other one on the table. "It's very late and I'm…going to go back to my apartment…before I do something I may regret."
Mike cocked his head to the side. He wasn't sure what she meant by that, but he let it go. He looked over at the guest bedroom. When he looked back at Ginny she had glanced there too.
"You can leave them for now," Mike said.
"Yeah, it's too late to move them now. I'll be back in the morning."
Mike looked at the key to his apartment sitting on the table. She was still just holding the one key for her apartment. The second one still sitting on the table. He thought about telling her to take his, keep it, since he would be taking care of the boys and she would just be able to come and go as she needed. She beat him to it as she reached over and picked it up and placed it with her own.
"If you don't mind, I can hang on to this since you're watching the boys so much."
"Absolutely, keep it."
"Keep the extra to mine just in case the boys need something when I'm not here."
"Okay," Mike said. He wasn't so sure he wanted her to leave right now but he didn't have the courage to say anything. He didn't want to mess up her trust in him and she take the boys away from him. She nodded once then and turned to leave his apartment. She was almost out the door when he called to her, stopping her. "Ginny?"
"Yeah," she asked, looking back over her shoulder at him.
"I'm here, if you need anything too," he said with a small smile. She nodded slowly and then closed his door and was gone. Mike went back to his bed and spent the next hour trying to fall asleep. Once sleep took him, his dreams were filled with people of his past, but also Ginny and the boys.
He woke the next morning and got Ty up and moving for school. He was making a light breakfast when his door opened, and Ginny stepped in already dressed for work. He hated that she had to work so much but he figured he'd be overstepping his bounds if he suggested anything. Ginny stepped over to Ty and kissed him on the top of the head. She looked around.
"Where's Wy?"
"Ah, still asleep," Mike replied with a shrug.
"Okay. I have to get going," she said as she gave Ty another hug. "Give Wyatt my love when he gets up."
Mike nodded quickly. He placed a plate down on the table. "Have time to eat? I can make it to go if you need?"
"Thanks," she said with a smile. "To go would be better." Mike nodded again and grabbed a plastic container and loaded it with eggs and some sausage. He put a plastic fork in it and handed it to her.
"Here you go," Mike said, and Ginny took it with another grateful smile. She looked at Ty.
"Be good today," Ginny said. She turned back to Mike. "I should be back around six, but if Tami is out again, I'll have to stay until eleven."
"Okay, just let me know. If you have to work late, I can put the boys to sleep in their own beds tonight."
"Okay," Ginny said. "I have to go, see you later."
Once Ginny was gone, Wyatt came out of the bedroom rubbing his eyes. Mike looked over and smiled at the little boy. He went and scooped him up into a hug then changed him and set him down at the table. He gave him a few pieces of egg and some fruit. Wyatt pushed the egg away but ate some clementines and grapes. Ty was fidgety and Mike sat down across from him.
"You, okay?" Mike asked. Ty looked up at him, and Mike saw the uncertainty in his eyes.
"I don't know. I'm nervous about going to school."
"What's making you nervous?"
"What if he comes to my school?"
Mike felt his heart crush. He knew there wasn't really anything that could make Ty feel safe when he left the apartment. He thought about what he wanted to tell the boy.
"If you see him, go straight to the office and tell them. Tell them why you're afraid of him. They will protect you. Once you're there ask to use the phone and call me," Mike said as he scribbled his number on a piece of paper. He held it out to Ty. Ty took it and looked at it before he nodded and folded it up and put it in his pocket.
"Okay," he said, and Mike could see he felt a little better with a plan in place. Mike checked the clock.
"You better get moving so you don't miss the bus," Mike said quietly. Wyatt was making sound effects while tossing grapes around. Ty grabbed his stuff and hustled towards the door. He turned to look at Mike and he thought there was something more the kid wanted to ask, but then he abruptly left and closed the door behind him.
The day went smoothly and after dinner Mike took the boys down to their apartment where Mike gave Wyatt a bath and Ty finished his homework. Once Wyatt was out of the tub, he went into his running skipping routine. Mike walked over and sat down next to Ty as he was working on homework.
"How's it going?" Mike asked.
"Okay," Ty said. "Preparing for a test on Friday."
"What's it on?" Mike asked.
"Uh, the Nathan James and her crew."
"Oh," Mike said with a chuckle. "And what did you learn?"
"That they aren't telling us the real story," Ty replied with a shrug and Mike laughed loudly at that one.
"Well, true. But it's kind of close, it's just…"
"Different than what you say happened."
"Maybe a little. Maybe I'm remembering it wrong," Mike said with a wink and Ty smiled.
"Probably the other way around," Ty mumbled. He looked at Mike and there seemed to be something else bothering the boy.
"Something else on your mind?" Mike asked. Ty hesitated. Mike could see him working something over in his mind, but he decided not to push. When Ty was ready, he would say something. Finally, Ty spoke.
"Nothing pressing," Ty said as he resumed studying. Mike nodded slowly and then looked at what Ty was studying. Mike sighed at the memories and then got up from the table and scooped Wyatt up and hugged him tight. The boy wrapped his arms around Mike's neck and leaned his forehead against Mike's chin.
After Ty's homework was done Mike put the boys to bed, then made himself comfortable on the couch. Mike drifted to sleep, his dreams plagued by dead friends, and his son.
Mike was lost in the fog. He couldn't see anything, but he could hear people. It sounded like he was on a ship, in the middle of a battle from the sounds. People were yelling, he heard brace for impact. His world shook, but he still couldn't see through the fog. He turned quickly when he heard a small voice.
"Daddy! Where are you? Help me, Daddy!" Lucas was crying. Mike charged towards his boy's voice, stumbling, and trying to push through the fog.
"Lucas! I'm here, I'm right here! Where are you! Come to my voice, Lucas!" Mike shouted as he spun in circles trying to decipher where the boy was.
"Daddy, I can't," Lucas said sadly. "I can't find you, Daddy, I'm lost. I'm so scared, Daddy." Mike was frantic now.
"Lucas!" he yelled. He finally broke the fog, and he froze. Lucas was standing in front of Garnett, Cossetti, and Tex Nolan. They all had a hand on Lucas, holding him in place. Mike stared at them.
"You'll never be able to save him," Garnett said to Mike. He felt his heart break. "You can never save any of us." The words hit Mike and he felt sick to his stomach.
"Daddy, help me," Lucas sobbed. "I don't know where I am."
"You have to let him go, Sir. You have to let us all go," Cossetti said.
"I can't," Mike whispered. His chest was tight. He was having trouble breathing. "I can't let you go. I can't let any of you go."
"You going to have to, Admiral," Tex replied with a sigh. "It's not healthy."
"I miss my boy, Tex, I miss him so much it hurts bad," Mike replied. Tex nodded slowly.
"You got to move forward, Mike, you got to let go. Never forget but move forward."
"I don't know that I can," Mike said quietly.
"Daddy, don't leave me," Lucas cried, and Mike felt his heart constrict. He stepped forward, but the three pulled Lucas back a step.
"Let go," Garnett said softly as the four started to fade away. Mike stepped forward but seemed to hit an invisible wall.
"Lucas!" Mike shouted.
A hand touched Mike's shoulder and he jolted awake, breathing hard. He was sweating and his heart was racing. He was completely confused as to where he was. He sucked in air and tried to calm his racing body.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" Ginny's voice broke into his confusion. He looked up at her as things started to make sense again. Mike slumped into her couch and stared at the floor as he calmed his mind.
"No, it's okay," Mike whispered. The dream was still raw and feeling like reality in his mind. His breathing was starting to slow, but the pain was radiating inside him. Ginny reached over and touched his arm. Mike jumped a little, then looked up at her.
"You were calling for Lucas," she said softly. Mike felt the tears burn his eyes. He pulled his shirt away from his body, as it was sticking to him from the sweat. He rubbed his hands hard over his face and tried to work the emotions down.
"Suppose I was," he mumbled. He felt a little embarrassed and pulled himself away from Ginny and worked to compose himself. Ginny sat and looked down at her hands. "I'm sorry," Mike said as he stood up to put distance between them. "I'll go back to my place. The boys are asleep in their rooms. I'll see you tomorrow."
"I'm actually off tomorrow," Ginny said with a smile. Mike nodded before turning away and heading for the door, his mind still a jumbled mess of emotion. "Mike?"
He stopped at the front door. It took him a moment to build the courage to turn towards her, but she seemed to be waiting until he did. He made eye contact and saw the sadness in her own eyes.
"Yeah," he said roughly.
"If you ever want to talk about it…I'm here," she replied with a nod. Mike bit the inside of his lower lip then nodded slowly.
"Yeah, okay. Thanks," he mumbled then he pulled the door open and made his way down to his own apartment. He let himself in and went straight for the shower. He took a long one, letting the water wash everything away. Once he was sure he had pushed all the feelings away, he climbed into his own bed and fell asleep.
To Be Continued…