Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or known plot.
Hermione's POV
"Not like you're any help," I spat at him. We were standing feet apart in-between the stacks of the library. Every time I've turn around he seems to be there. Every. God. Damn. Time. Since first year it has been this way. Every time I turn around Draco Malfoy was a few feet away in the library. It was like he was trying to best me, trying to figure out what I was doing. He was more obsessed with me than Harry was with him in 6th year and I have had enough. I came back to school this year to forget and move on, to recover, to get over my break up with Ronald and to learn how to be me without my two best friends. Instead I got stuck as partners with Draco Bloody Malfoy and it was all McGonagall's fault. She had to select him as Head Boy. She had to initiate a new "no house rivalries" rule, aside from quidditch of course. She had to change class schedules so students attended classes based on ability instead of house. And she had to insist Draco and I help her with this new world order she was implementing by being partners in everything. Every. Damn. Thing. From classes, to studying, to sharing a bloody common room. I could scream. If he tried to correct me one more time I was going to hex him into oblivion, damn "no house rivalries", this was personal.
"You have NO idea how much I've helped!" He spat back at me and pushed a book into my chest before turning around and stomping off. I looked down at the book as it fell to the floor, it was the damn book I spend the last hour looking for and it just made me angrier. How did he find it so fast? I had got here right after class and he had quidditch practice… or did he? It's not like we were friends I don't know his schedule.
"You don't get to say that while dropping the book I need at my feet and then just leave Malfoy!" I yell but it came out more like a growl than a scream.
"The hell I don't!" He spat back not even bothering to turn around.
I ran after him and reached out, grabbing his arm, "Why are you here, and how do you always seem to have the book I need?"
"Because I've always been here and I always know what book you need," he said turning to look at me.
"You've been stalking me have you?" I was seething. "I know we're partners on this assignment but I didn't tell you what direction I was going to take, how did you know?" After everything he put me through and everything that happen last year I couldn't get rid of him.
"Stalking?!" He said exasperation in his tone. "You're Hermione Granger, I know what side you're going to take on this argument, you ALWAYS take the side of the innocent," he laughed in my face as he pulled his arm out of my grip. "I'm helping you because it's my grade too. I'm helping you because I've always helped you, you and your moron friends! Without me you wouldn't have found half the things you were looking for over the years."
"What are you even on about, Malfoy?" Was he talking about Harry and Ron? They were in another country in auror training what did they have to do with this.
"I've been helping you and those friends of yours for years, Granger. Ever wonder how the book you needed seemed to always appear when you needed it? Or how I was always around? No of course not, who would expect a Death Eaters son to help you?!" I could hear the anger in his voice.
At this point our argument had started to draw peoples attention and the last thing I needed was a weeks suspension from the library. I answered him in a hushed whisper, no anger leaving my voice. "And why would you do that? Hell, why would I want you to do that? I don't need help from a snake like you. I am so close to telling McGonagall I'm out of this stupid arrangement we have going. I can't stand being around snakes this much."
"You wouldn't believe the amount of help I've given you little kitty," Draco angrily whispered back pointing at me. His face was inches from mine and I could see the different colors of grey swirling in his eyes. "I've been paying attention since first year when you were on your little search for Nicholas Flamel. At first I was just curious why a Muggleborn was so interested in an old curmudgeon like him. But, as I helped you search I started to I realized, I liked finding the answers to your little puzzles. Mostly because I liked watching your eyes light up when you 'found' the answer. How happy you would get before jumping up to tell Potter." He paused and placed a hand on my cheek, "and how that little dimple appears when you smile." His voice and eyes soften the more he talked.
I opened my mouth to reply but it got stuck in my throat and he continued. "I've always been in the shadows. I loved watching you research and how your brow furrows when you can't figure something out," he toughed my forehead. "or how you would pick your lip when you were lost in thought.." He paused again dragging his thumb across my bottom lip. "I've always helped Granger. Always."
I took a shallow breath and whispered "Why?" All the anger seemed to drain out of me. What were we even fighting about and who was this man in front of me? This couldn't be the same Draco Malfoy I had grown to hate. Were his eyes always this easy to get lost in?
He laughed at my questions and pulled his hand away. "Because you don't know me at all, Granger." He stood up straighter and adjusted his already perfect tie before placing his hands in his pockets. "I hate my father." It was a statement. " I have always hated him, but if I didn't act a certain way, live a certain way, think a certain way, say certain things he'd punish me. I had to be the perfect pureblood heir in order to survive, no matter what I thought…" He sighed deeply. "I didn't want to be that person, I didn't want to say those things but I knew no other way. I felt sick every time you looked at me with hatred but I did what I had to, to survive. I might have been forced to act that way but I'd be damned if I didn't help you in anyway that I could even if it was from the shadows where no one would know." He crossed his arms and stared me down, his look was intense and full of power but I saw no regret. It was as if he was staring me down, challenging me to say he was wrong.
When I didn't response right away he turned to leave but froze when I asked, "Why would you help me? I'm just… you think I'm just a .."
"A Mudblood? I never thought that. My father did, does, but I don't." He turned to look at me shaking his head and recrossing his arms. "My mother's sister married a muggle born, and she hated that she had been cutoff from the family because of it. She didn't want the next generation to suffer so she would go out of her way teach me how wrong father was in the way he thought. How Muggleborns were no different than us. But my father forced his ideologies and his image. I called you... that, to stay alive, he thought I was going soft when I wouldn't say it. He notice me flinch when he called you one after being informed you bested me in every subject, and when I flinched… " he huffed and looked away shaking his head, he didn't want to tell me what happened when he flinched. He continued on, "well I had to say it and be convincing to stay alive. If my father knew what I truly thought… what my mother thought.." He trailed off and ran a hand down his face. "Granger, there is no way I could ever think so little of someone so smart." When he said the final part he looked me dead in the eye and I could feel my face flush.
I was stunned into silence. Was this the same boy that called me names and challenged Harry to a duel in first year. The same boy that tried to kill Dumbledore? There was no way that boy had been.. this boy. It was as if I was seeing him for the first time and the more I looked into my memories the more I noticed he was always a table away, or around the corner. I remembered the look of disgust on his face when he called me names from a different light. Had it been disgust in himself and not me? What he really helping the whole time? "You've been helping this whole time…" I whisper.
"This whole time," he answers back nodding his head.
I took a step closer to him until we were inches apart again and whispered, "Why come clean now?"
"Because…" He sighed and looked at the floor. I could feel his breath on my face and he wouldn't look at me. "Because I hate the way you look at me. I hate that you think I'm such a git, and I have no reason to pretend anymore. I do not want to be… Malfoy anymore" He almost spit his name in the same way Harry does, I chuckled at the resemblance.
I lifted his chin to see him better and whispered, "Tell me every time you helped."
"Why?" He answered back.
"Because I can't believe you without evidence, Ma… Draco" I corrected the name. If he wanted to redeem himself I could at least stop calling him by his fathers name.
"Were do I begin?" He asked me not looking away. The air was getting thick between us.
"The beginning, first year," I answered back. Moving my hand to cup his cheek and running my thumb over his . He had extremely soft skin with a clean shave, very different than the scruff Ronald had.
"First year, the dragon books I left on a table next to where you were working," he whispered.
"You got in trouble for Norbert," I answered back remembering the terrible detention but not moving away from Draco, he hadn't moved either.
"He named the damn thing?" He said in shock. I laughed.
"Yeah, tried to keep it to," I whispered back
"Poor animal deserved better," he mumbled. I smiled at this. Draco Malfoy has a heart, who would have known.
"Second year?" I asked trailing my hand down his throat to land on his chest. I kept it there feeling his heat beat.
"I left the book on basilisks pulled out on the shelf so you would find it. Left the mirror next to it just in case." He said and he put his hand on top of mine.
"That was the year you called me -"
He squeezed my hand and cut me off, "I regret it every day."
"Third year?" I asked moving on.
"At the end of second year I asked McGonagall if I could use my time turner to take more classes than time allowed, she told me no but it put the idea in her head for you. I knew you wanted to know everything there is to know about my world, and I wanted to make up for calling you… that."
"That was your idea? I had no idea…" he smirked at my wonder and I felt his thumb stroke my hand.
"Quidditch World Cup," he said going on, his grip tighten on mine again. "I over heard father talk about his plans that night… as soon as he left the tent I ran out to find your tent and made sure Mr. Weasley was awoken. I didn't leave until I saw you leave the tent and then I followed you into the woods. That's when you found me but I had to make sure you were safe. I wouldn't leave you or anyone you cared about behind in that mess," he said making a face of discuss at the thought.
"You wanted me safe?" It came out so softly I wasn't sure he could hear me but he answered.
"My father was torturing muggles, Muggleborns were sure to be next. You were the first person I ran to to make sure you were safe. You, Potter, and Weasel, no way I would let you three get caught in the mess."
"You saved us?" He just shrugged "why?"
"Hermione…" my name on his lips was a ghost but it sent a chill down my spine. "I've always wanted to keep you safe, and you came as a trio so I knew I'd have to keep them safe too." He huffed again, "besides my mother would have yelled at me if I would have let the golden boy Potter get hurt."
"That didn't answer the question. Why save me, Draco?" I asked more pointedly. I tried to pull my hand off his chest but he clung on harder to it.
"I …" he stopped and there was a small, almost indistinguishable blush forming on his cheeks. "You're brilliant Hermione, and brave. You're something to admire…" he took his free hand and pushed my hair behind my ear. "I've always admired you and over time it grew to be more… and this year, Merlin, this year has been a test for me. Spending every class partnered up, having to sit next to you, watch you work while being inches away and yet I was still so far away from you." He cupped my cheek with his hand and went on. "Having to sleep in the same dorm with you as head boy knowing I will never have you, that you hate me… while I… while I wanted to be friends, no I wanted to be more than friends and yet you would just glare at me as if I was no more than gum on the bottom of your shoe." He stared at me for a long time never truly finishing his thoughts. Was he saying he liked me? That he wanted me? That's what his eyes were saying. That he saved me all those times, helped me when he could because he… loved me? No, love was something you earned over time not something you got from a distance but he definitely felt something for me.
"If you cared… why the manor?" I asked the only thing that didn't make sense. He could have help couldn't he? As soon as I mentioned it he froze and his whole body stiffened.
"I was a coward and part of me died that day Hermione. God I'm so sorry," his eye held the same amount of pain as his voice. There was true regret in his gaze. His hand holding mine to his chest moved down my forearm to the scar and held tight like he was wishing it away. "I failed that day. I failed in so many ways and there is nothing I regret more than that." He picked up my hand and kissed the back of it trailing down to the scar.
"I don't know what you want me to do with this information Draco… there is a lot…" I tailed off as I watched him kiss each letter on my arm.
"I know," kiss "but" kiss " I would like" kiss "you" kiss " to give me a chance" kiss "to prove I'm not who you think" kiss "I am" kiss. At that he looked up at me and I gazed into his swirling grey eyes filled with regret and wanting. Before I knew it he was kissing me on the lips but more surprising I was kissing him back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down to me. The kiss was like every tension in my body was being replaced with something new. Draco deepened the kiss and I let him. He moved so one hand was wrapped around my neck and the other on my hip pulling me closer. He kissed me deeply and all I could do was lean into it. It felt as if the entire school year had been leading to this point. Every time we passed each other in the common room or sat 6 feet apart trying to study without acknowledging the each other. Every brush of a hand or thigh while sitting next to each other in class. Everything had been leading to this moment, to this kiss and I wanted more. There was a fire burning between us and only he could quench it.
"Granger…" he said pulling away. A disgruntled moan slipped out of me when he did. He chuckled at the sound. "We shouldn't do this here"
I knew he was right of course, snogging in the library who was I? But part of my brain didn't care, that part of me wanted to continue, and push the limits. "Why?" I asked back.
"Head Boy and Head Girl getting suspended from the library for snogging?" He said raising an eyebrow. His hands had yet to move from my hip and hair.
"Worth it," I whisper and lean in kissing him again. He pulls me closer into the kiss only to start kissing down my neck and I inhale sharply when he reached the spot just below my ear. I feel him smirk against my skin and he gently bit down and started sucking. My eyes roll back in my head at the feeling and a moan escapes me. He continues to suckle my neck and I grip his hair tightly with one hand as the other slides down his back and pulls his hips closer to mine. I can feel his need rub against my stomach and I whimper in wanting. At that I catch myself and pull away until we are no longer touching. I was kissing Draco Malfoy in the library and I wanted it.
"Sorry," he mumbled and straighten up. I had never realized how much taller he was than me until I was looking directly into his chest instead of his eyes.
"No," I shook my head and looked up at him. "Don't, it just scared me how…" how what? How good it felt? How much I was enjoying it? How I was able to put years of abuse behind me for a good snog… and possibly an even better lay? I closed my eyes so I wouldn't look at him. "It's not that I didn't enjoy it, it's just a lot to take in right now Draco," I said and swallowed before opening my eyes to look at him. His hair was disheveled and his tie was crooked, one of the buttons on his shirt had pop open while his eyes were filled with a yearning desire, it was a look part of me craved to see more of. But his body language was very different. He had put his hand back in his pockets and was leaning away from me looking at the shelve next to him.
"Sorry, I didn't mean… I'm gonna head back," he mumbled and turned away before saying louder, "Tell me what you're researching and I'll do my half of the project, no need to interact,"
"Draco…" his name slipped from my lips and he stopped. Before I knew what I was saying or what it would entail I said, "Wouldn't it be more productive to take this back to our common room to work on together? More private and we can... focus better there…" I trailed off but the look in his eyes told me he was hoping I was talking about something other than the essay we were assigned.
"Much more productive" he agreed and a smile ghosted his lips.
I smiled back at him and adjusted my clothes before picking up the book he had dropped earlier. I walked over to him and grabbed his hand in mine before heading out of the library dragging him behind me. Who care who saw, we were supporting the "no house rivalries" rule quite well if I say so myself. Maybe McGonagall was right, it was time for a new world order, it was time to look at things through a new lens and I knew just what snake I wanted to look at a little differently tonight.