Chapter Fourteen

"So," Daniel broke the silence as he and Vala watched Merlin work with his head stuck in the Ancient head sucker, as Jack liked to call it, "anymore revelations from Alora?"

Vala met his eyes and shook her head gently. "No," she answered, "not since the dragon. What do you think that means?"

"What does what mean?" he questioned.

"Come on, Daniel," she said like it was obvious, "how could she have possibly known all that? The answers to the riddles, the name of the protector, or even what the cave would be like? She's never been here, the Ori wouldn't have known, so how did she?"

He hadn't thought about that, he simply trusted Vala and her instincts during their time in the cave. It had made sense that Alora had given her the answers, but Vala made a valid point – how did Alora know? All of this had been set up after the Ori and Alterans split up, so there was no possible way for her to have known.

"I don't know," he confessed, "Maybe she gave you everything she knew, whatever she suspected you might need in this situation and whatever was useful was triggered and came to the surface for you to use."

She raised her brows. "You really think she could do that?" she questioned skeptically.

He shrugged. "I think she's capable of things we haven't even thought of," he remarked, "but it may have come at a cost. You said it yourself, she's been different since then, and that she hasn't shown you anything new – maybe she used the last of her powers to give it to you in this way."

She considered his theory thoughtfully. It didn't sound as plausible as she would've liked but nothing seemed to be when it concerned her daughter and her powers. They would never truly know or comprehend the extent of Alora's powers…or rather, what were her powers. "I guess it really doesn't matter now, does it?" she said rhetorically, "We're here and Merlin is constructing another weapon for us. We have the information regarding the location of the Ori galaxy we got from Atlantis and can use it to deploy the weapon."

"Then what?" he questioned softly, "We'll still have Priors and their followers to deal with."

She smiled ruefully. "One problem at a time."

o0o

Damn him.

Why did he always have to go play the hero? Granted, she didn't have much experience with that, but she had heard the stories, the stories of his heroism, the stories of his multiple deaths, and she had a sinking feeling that she was witnessing the beginning of yet another death story for Daniel Jackson, and she hated him for it.

Merlin had been dying from the moment he stepped out of stasis and knew he didn't have much time left. It became apparent to everyone, especially Daniel, and she swore Merlin used Daniel's desperation to end this war, as well as his thirst for knowledge, against him, and that's why the former Ancient had done what he had done – he knew Daniel would be able to figure it out and couldn't resist finishing what Merlin had started.

If only she hadn't been preoccupied with helping Mitchell move Merlin to the table. If she hadn't, she may have been able to stop Daniel, but she hadn't, and now she watched helplessly as he slowly overloaded his brain, which in turn would destroy it completely. She wanted to yank him away from the horrid device, and she almost had when he first stuck his head in it, but Mitchell had stopped her just in time, which only infuriated her.

"We can't let him do this!" she yelled at him, pointing to Daniel and the device.

"Yanking him out would only make it worse!" Mitchell argued back, "God knows what that would do to him!"

"We can't just let him destroy his brain!" She tried to push past Mitchell to get to Daniel, but the Colonel was strong in his resolve and kept her away, "It's going to kill him!"

"Jackson knew what he was doing!" he snapped, "Ain't nothing going to change his mind – you know that."

She ceased her struggles and slumped in defeat. "He's killing himself."

Mitchell softened at her. "I know, but there's nothing we can do," he said quietly, "Hey, didn't he say something about it being different than the ones General O'Neill experienced?" he asked, trying to get her to focus on something else.

Vala's eyes flickered over to Daniel. "He said he thought the rate of information was limited or could be controlled," she answered, "that it was slower, possibly used to store or load something specific, and wouldn't be as severe as the other devices SG-1 has encountered."

"Well, there you go," he said in forced cheer, "Sunshine will be fine."

"Daniel's not a scientist!" she snapped, "He doesn't know what he's talking about. If Samantha had told me that, then I actually might believe it, but Daniel…" she broke off and tore her eyes away and turned away from both men, "I can't just stand here and watch him slowly kill himself – we have to do something."

Mitchell grabbed her vest and spun her around to face him. She fought his hold, but he tightened his grip and waited until she looked at him. "The hard part about being part of this team is not risking your own life, but watching your friends take chances with theirs," he told her firmly, but gently as well, "So, congratulations – you may not be an official member of SG-1, but you really are one of us."

With that, he released her and walked away, leaving her to her thoughts.

o0o

She had a little more hope when Daniel explained that the device allowed someone to design and configure something virtually before it materializes it. Not only did it mean that they would have the weapon they needed, and maybe Daniel was right, it wouldn't outright kill him, but he deteriorated a little more each time he stepped away from the device, and that worried her. He had almost made her believe that he would be fine but that was before the telekinesis kicked in and she knew he was only fooling himself – he truly believed he could handle this and walk away.

"I know you," Daniel said to her when she helped him sit down after completing stage two of the device.

Vala blinked back tears and forced herself to smile as she knelt in front of him. "It's me, silly, it's Vala," she replied lightly.

"You're important to him," he said faintly as he cupped her cheek, "you and a small child."

"Alora," she said watery, "you're important to her too."

He started mumbling about everything being covered in ice and the time he spent in this lab.

Vala turned to briefly look at Mitchell before focusing back on Daniel. "Darling?" she prodded gently, wanting to bring back her Daniel, "Focus, come back to me."

Daniel tilted his head at her. "You're a beautiful woman," he observed, "You mean something."

"Jackson," Mitchell called out, but Daniel still was out of it, so he came closer, "Daniel," he tried again, this time gently.

It seemed to do the trick and Daniel's head jerked slightly. "What's going on?" he asked with confusion and looked around the room.

Vala forced him to look back at her. "We're losing you, that's what's going on," she told him, doing her best not to cry, "Every time you come back from that machine, it gets a little worse…and don't tell me you're fine, because I know you're not and you need to stop."

He shook his head. "No," he denied, "No, I just have…I have too many thoughts in my head. I, I can't concentrate. I get confused."

"You have to fight it," she said.

"No, no, that's the thing, I have to let it happen," he argued, "That's the only way I can build Merlin's weapon."

"We'll find another way!" she snapped, "It's not worth your life!"

"It's not just my life at stake here," he rebutted calmly, "it's yours, Alora's, Sam's, Jack's, Teal'c's, Mitchell's, the entire galaxy – one life for billions."

"There's another way, there has to be!"

"Do you really want to take that chance?" he asked her, "Alora gave you this information for a reason, do you really want it all to be for nothing? Would you have me risk her life, yours? Are you honestly asking me to? Because I can tell you now that I can't, I need for you two to be safe, even if it's the last thing I do."

That stunned her into silence…for a minute or two. "She would rather have you alive," she whispered, "as would I. I would rather take the risk than lose you."

Daniel locked eyes with her. "Then I guess it's a good thing that it's not up to you," he said softly, "Just trust me," he murmured before getting up and back to it.

Vala couldn't do this, she couldn't watch him slip away bit by bit. She sprung up and attempted to bolt from the lab but was stopped by Mitchell. "Let me go, Colonel," she bit out and tried to shrug out of his hold.

"Where you goin'?"

She met his eyes. "I can't keep watching him die slowly in front of me," she confessed, "I'm going to go see if I can help Samantha with dialing out."

Mitchell refused to release her. "Jackson needs you here," he refuted, "more than Sam needs you."

"I can't," she whispered again.

"But you have to," he continued, "You're the one person he needs the most right now and probably the one person he wants the most."

"Cameron – "

"I know this is hard," he interrupted, "probably one of the hardest things you can do is stand by and watch someone you care about risk their life like this, but he needs you here, and you need to be here too – you'll regret it if you walk away. Stay, if you care about him, you'll stay."

Vala's shoulders sagged in defeat, and he released her. "Low blow," she grumbled and sat back down close to Daniel, waiting for him to finish the next phase.

"I know," he admitted, "but I'd do it again."

o0o

Vala almost wanted to forget that today happened, that Daniel had almost died, even if the mission had been successful and they now had the weapon to defeat the Ori, it still had almost come at too high of a cost for her.

They had come away from the mission with not just the weapon, but with also a way to dial the Supergate to the Ori galaxy, using the Odyssey and the ZPM they had, courtesy of Daniel and the knowledge of Merlin's consciousness still swimming around in his brain. The General, IOA, President, Joint Chiefs, and anyone of consequence had been thrilled at the outcome, all except for a certain General. Jack O'Neill was furious that Daniel had been allowed to stick his head in that thing in the first place, but Samantha had pointed out to him that no one could stop Daniel from doing anything, and he had relented, but still wasn't happy.

After Daniel had written down how to use the ZPM with the Odyssey to dial the Supergate and what address to use, he passed out completely and they hadn't been able to wake him up. SG-1 had quickly gotten him back to the SGC, using the information Daniel gave them to dial the 'gate and end the ever-revolving planetary shifts. Dr. Lam was swift to check him out and after a thorough exam, deemed that he was just unconscious, not in a coma, and should come to eventually. She did speculate that he may be out until Merlin's consciousness was completely gone.

So the second she was cleared by medical, Vala went to her daughter instead of going to Daniel and waiting for him to regain consciousness. She needed comfort and it couldn't be in the form of a certain archeologist – that would only make it worse. But as she reclined in her bed with Alora in her arms, she couldn't seem to escape it.

An image of Daniel appeared in her thoughts and if she hadn't experienced this several times before now, she would've just assumed it was her mind being weak and drifting to Daniel, but she had experienced this and she knew the feeling that came along with it, causing her to jolt slightly and stared at her child incredulously.

Alora hadn't shown her anything since she had given them the answer to the three planets and where Merlin's weapon was located. The SGC hadn't authorize the mission right away since the details seemed vague and they had been waiting to see if the former Orici would expand on her answer, as well as redirecting the Odyssey in case they ran into trouble (not that had done any good), but she had been silent, not even showing her Daniel or anything. She had stopped communicating with them in every way and they had all assumed she had used the last of her knowledge to lead them there. Apparently not and her daughter was determined to break down all her mother's walls and get her to admit that she cared for Daniel.

Not that this was news to Vala.

She had realized some time ago that her feelings went beyond friendship for Daniel Jackson, and she accepted it for the most part…she just didn't know how deep those feelings ran until he had risked his life in that damn machine in order to build the weapon that could destroy the Ori. If she could go back to how she was before he had first stepped up to that machine, she would, because feeling this way was too hard, especially when she knew nothing could ever come of it, but she couldn't go back and she wasn't ever going to be able to shove them down anymore.

She loved Daniel too much for that and it was almost unbearable when she remembered that she was alone in those feelings.

Alora showed her another image of Daniel and Vala sighed.

"It's too late to go see Daniel now, darling, he needs to rest," she told her daughter, "Besides, we can't count on him in that way."

Vala swore her daughter asked, 'Why not?' with just her eyes.

"Because Daniel's not ready for that type of commitment and I don't think he'll ever be," she explained softly to the baby, "Sha're left a deep wound on him, and he probably will never get over her."

Alora showed her Daniel again.

She gave her daughter a bitter smile. "I know, sweetheart," she murmured softly, "I love him too, but it's not meant to be. He doesn't care for me like that, and we can't wait around forever – I can't. It's too hard, my love, and I can't do it."

It never ceased to baffle her that she was having a full-blown conversation with her infant child and she found it even more confounding that she was baring her heart to said child.

How very disturbing.

"We'll be alright," she promised the infant, "we've got each other, after all."

This was probably the last real conversation she would have with her until she was older and the thought saddened her but also brought relief. Soon, she would just be a normal child, living what Vala hoped was a normal life, and that's all she ever wanted for her child.

"I love you, Alora," she whispered to her, knowing it was probably the last time Alora would truly understand the words until she was older, "and I have never and will never regret having you."

o0o

Author's Note: I know Merlin was able to stay with Daniel longer after the Quest episodes, but only because he had to, so I'm making Merlin go bye-bye sooner since he doesn't need to hang on and con the Orici. I also meant to mention that the Odyssey couldn't access the planet but couldn't find a natural spot for it, so just letting you know that I remember that the planet wasn't accessible to ships (we learned that from Ba'al and his attempts), but didn't have somewhere to put it.

Thoughts?