So I'm back, sorry for the delay oof.

As always, I've proofread this more than a few times, but I might still miss something. Should be no major mistake that would take away your fun, tho!

Sorry in advance for any typos, and enjoy!

Chapter 3: Sever The Ties

Orpheus is a spark, the first warmth after a decade of cold, detached silence.

Orpheus was fairly weak at the very beginning, but grew stronger as his bonds grew, as time passed. But even when time stagnated, when bonds were left to rot and die, his growth did not suffer; he continues to burn brighter even now, cinders to embers to blazing flame that does not burn, but warm the heart, soothe the soul.

And here he is, in a new body that Makoto still doesn't know the reason for its formation. But he quickly disregards the thought as he looks up at the figure bathed in pale moonlight.

Instead of the old form, the form that resembles a doll with a harp, this new one looks more regal, of high power and absoluteness, yet with that sort of gentleness that calms the mind. Makoto glances up a little higher to see Orpheus in his full glory; his body no longer like a marionette, but humanoid covered in noble-like garb, red scarf flowing outward like the trails of fire left by a meteorite. Everything from the curl of his scarf up is covered by snow-white, gold-embroiled hood, with nothing visible through the dark-steel helmet adorn with runes of fire that shimmers and shines dimly in his own azure flame that covers him like a mantle. In place of a heart, all he could see is the blazing flame of the sun itself, the hollowness of Orpheus' chest seen through the slight part of his robe is filled by the scorching heat of a newly-born star, scarlet light burning away even the shadows of the white-teeth and the red-eye of the beast whose name suddenly eludes Makoto's mind—

"I am Thou, Thou art I," Orpheus declares, the long tail of his dark coat and the scarf of ephemeral flame flowing behind him as he spins with a flare befitting a showman, the lyre now more intricate than ever before. And Makoto couldn't help but admire this new beauty, the new change, and the royalty of his bearings; a stark contrast to the original appearance that he had shown Makoto countless times before. "I am to you as you are to me, two souls fated to connect, separated by not even time. I am Orpheus, the Master of Strings. At your service, little one."

Orpheus bows again before straightening up, and Makoto feels a grin splitting his face, even if something horrible starts to stir inside his gut, making his head spin even as Orpheus' bright flame surrounds him. But he ignores that gut feeling, something he might've felt before during the cycle of life and death, and pushes forward, ordering Orpheus to rid themselves of the Shadows around them.

The lyre hums against the void of the Dark Hour, and from the hallowed notes and his segmented fingers comes a burning spark that forms along the Shadows' twisted masks, scorching them to ashes with another note strummed as a celebration – for what, though, Makoto doesn't know.

When the fire dies down, he exhales, and looks up once more. Orpheus, despite having nothing but a casque and royal clothing that hides all but his fire, seems to smile as he bows at Makoto again, the ringing in his ears subsiding into a quiet hum that fills the hole in his heart. I am forever in your care, Seeker. A pleasure to stay by your side, as always.

As always, Makoto whispers into his heart. And Orpheus, an extension of his own emotions, laughs lightly into the midnight air before fading away.

Makoto breathes, the tension he isn't quite aware was in his veins dissipating. He looks to Ryoji first, and he could see awe all too clearly in his gaze. He offers the boy a smile before he glances to Yukari, to the way she seems to gape at his display of power – something he is not proud of, but nevertheless doesn't regret – and to the way she seems startled when he hands her back her Evoker.

"Here," he says, pushing the object into her hands, taking Kotone's still crumbling form in for a moment before he looks around once more. And, mostly out of habit, he turns to Ryoji. "Any more?"

He almost stops himself, but thinks twice on it before deciding to allow himself to go with the flow; Ryoji is already awake during the Dark Hour, and in the past, he – as the ghost no one but him could perceive before the congregation of the twelve Shadows – had always been the one to inform him of dangers where even Fuuka couldn't see, where Lucia and Juno failed to detect in time.

Ryoji smiles, seemingly catching on to his line of thoughts. Ikutsuki couldn't use a Persona because god knows why, and as long as he acts as if he fears death (fears himself), Ryoji could always decline the act of pulling the trigger while providing aid from the back, a silent guardian to those left behind whenever Makoto has to ascend into Tartarus in the future.

"I don't think so," the boy decides to say at last with a shake of his head, smile light and careful. "There are three strays on the street by the door, and one clinging to the wall of the second floor next to your room, but they don't seem to be moving anymore. We should be safe for tonight."

"Yeah," Makoto hums, fingers twitching in the night air of the Dark Hour as he looks up at the eerie moon, at Nyx's still closed eye. "For tonight, at least."

Something in him twists again, pulling his mind back towards the images of a strange, hidden beast bearing its fangs down at him, of the thing that shouldn't have a mind of its own, of maddening grin and blood red eyes. But he decides to ignore it, for now focusing on one thing at a time.

(The strange Persona that has introduced itself to him stirs, the unknown name resting snuggly at the tip of his tongue. Makoto decides to keep its presence in his heart, for now, and not outward. While he has yet to heard the name, cut off by a crooked vileness, he doesn't feel fear. It feels, just like Orpheus on his tongue, like home.

But that vileness… it has a name, hasn't it? So why couldn't he remember?)

Two Persona Users, all within a few nights. And someone who seems to be able to feel Shadows without the aid of Personas, too.

Mitsuru paces the control room, even long after Ikutsuki is gone. They're done analyzing the data and the footages gathered from that night. Yuuki Kotone's power is excellent – to be able to take down that gigantic Shadow all by herself, and her ability to use the Evoker with so little pause, too… and while the girl has yet to be asked to join the SEES, Mitsuru has an inkling of feeling that she will.

On the other hand, instead of being reassured by Yuuki Makoto's quickness to put the Evoker to his own head – despite the initial loss of consciousness after facing the large Shadow – she feels uneasy; even if they've met but a few times, and be in each other's presences for but a few days, he gives off the aura of someone who doesn't like anyone (except for that other boy, clearly), the aura of someone who doesn't care if another lives or dies. And while Mitsuru would usually have no qualm with such a thing, something about him makes her feel… on edge. Terrified. Almost suffocating, even.

His display of power, with bright burning spark far more refined and controlled than Yuuki Kotone's own, does little to quell the fear bubbling up in her stomach. It makes her feel like he's someone who's far too dangerous to be put on a team, even if he had pointed his powers towards the Shadows, and not Takeba, not at any of them for the remainder of the Dark Hour. And even his sister has that tiny spark of hesitation when pulling the trigger, while he does not – he grasps the gun from Takeba's hand, and almost seems gleeful when pointing the object to his own head.

Terrifying, despite all the rationality in her head saying that this is the kind of power that the SEES needs. Yuuki Makoto… is simply terrifying.

And then there's Mochizuki Ryoji – someone who seems just like any ordinary boy and one who, just like the Yuuki twins, does not display any symptoms of disorientation experiencing the Dark Hour. While he didn't display any combat ability during the Shadow attack, it seemed quite unnatural for him to be able to tell Yuuki Makoto so accurately about the incoming Shadows (she checked as soon as she heard him talked about the positions of remaining Shadows, and he had been oddly accurate). Penthesilea could sense that sort of hostility, but not as accurately as Mochizuki has shown so far. The boy doesn't seem to have a Persona (with him being unable to even hold the Evoker in his hand); something strange, to be certain, but he could sense these kinds of changes. While it sets something odd in her off, she couldn't afford to keep that power unused; keeping an eye on him, certainly, but his help would be valuable for their future investigations.

"You're still here, Mitsuru?" Akihiro says, and she turns towards him as he walks over, his injured arm now mostly taken care of. Still a slight limp, a slight twitch, but nothing too major or too out of ordinary. "They seem like good additions, don't they?"

"Yes," she replies, glancing back towards the frozen footage of three separate occasions; the girl's first awakening, then the boy's, then Mochizuki's uncanny ability to predict – or rather, to sense – any Shadows approaching them. "Quite. However—"

"—Yeah, I do feel the same," Akihiro says quietly, surprising Mitsuru enough to draw her eyes back to him. He just shrugs, eyes on the boy's Persona, with regal bearings and words too deep and too bright and too powerful. "He seems really powerful, but something about him sets me on edge. I don't like it."

"Me neither," Mitsuru agrees. And what's more surprising is that Yuuki Kotone is still in the hospital, even almost a week after the incident, while Yuuki Makoto just… seems to have shrugged it all off, returning to normal schedule as soon as the Dark Hour is over, as if he didn't feel any effect from summoning a Persona for the first time. "Something about him feels… off. Wrong. I don't know if we can trust him or not."

"But he hasn't done anything to harm us since, right? Hell, he doesn't even ask questions," Akihiko says, even if that slight frown on his face says otherwise. Mitsuru only hums in respond as she sighs, leaning back against her seat, rubbing away the tension between her brows. "I don't think he's going to harm us or anything. But, just to be safe than sorry… I don't think we should put him in any position of power just yet. Yuuki Kotone seems like a good candidate to lead the rest while I recover, anyway."

"At least we're in agreement on that point," Mitsuru hums, closing the screen and turning his way briefly, a small frown permanently etched on both of their faces. "…The three of them are a good addition; one to help in support, two for the front line. But something about Yuuki Makoto is unsettling, and I don't like it."

"Me neither. But we can't complain," Akihiko shrugs. "We need all the help we can get."

"That is true," Mitsuru sighs. "That is true."

For now, her feelings are to be kept under lock and key; the SEES' powers and ability to investigate the Dark Hour and Tartarus comes first. The rest… they can think about it more later.

Makoto has always been sensitive to the emotions of those around him, in the way their bodies give off tells, in the way they breathe.

And oh, he doesn't know what they see in him, but they do not trust him in the least. That, at least, Makoto counts as a small blessing.

(A part of him feels a stab of pain, deep and scalding, inside him, tearing at his bonds and reminding him of what he could've had, what should've been. He elects to ignore it post haste.)

And much to their luck, the SEES has explicitly asked for Ryoji to help as a support. Something he supposes is a welcome change (something that went according to plan, for once), in spite of certain… uncertainties that have occurred. Not to mention that, while Makoto has been granted entry into the SEES with unease following their every twitch of muscles, their every step, Kotone is the one who's given the position of a temporary leader.

And once Junpei joins in, Tartarus is now open to them.

"Something feels odd about this place," Ryoji says as soon as the tower is built from the ether into its malevolent spire, dark tidings looming where their eyes couldn't see. And those words aren't meant for the others – they're meant for Makoto. A warning. "It feels… disconcerting."

"I can tell just by looking at it," Kotone whistles, rocking back and forth on her heels as her eyes train upward towards the top, hidden inside the darkness of the slowly waning moon. "This place is creepy as all hell. Not that the Dark Hour has never been creepy, but this is just on a whole another level."

"This really is the only place we can look for clues?" Junpei asks.

"As far as we're concerned, yes," Mitsuru says flatly as she leads them inside, the clattering of their shoes against the ground their only companions within the blood-stained walls of the time that shouldn't be. "I am not certain if there are other clues for us to look for or not, but this tower has been standing tall since the beginning of the Dark Hour. It is only logical to conclude that this place might hold the secrets about the Dark Hour for us to find."

It is the spire that calls forth Nyx, after all, Makoto muses silently, hand resting on his Evoker, its cold steel a well-missed sensation against his palm. He ignores Kotone's look towards him, instead focusing his attention on Ryoji. "Don't hit on anyone while we're doing our jobs."

Don't let your attention stray, is what Makoto means, and while that look of being offended on Ryoji is real, there is also that light of understanding reflecting within his eyes, now glowing with the peridot light of the Dark Hour.

Ryoji smiles, shrugging and laughing lightly into the cold, stale air. "Of course. I can keep my focus when I want to, you know."

Once they enter, Makoto immediately spots the familiar blue door that brings more comfort as time – as looped as it is – goes on; a reminder that there are those who remember, those who share his pain and his suffering here, too. He notices a male attendant, this time, but with that distinct silver hair and bright golden eyes not unlike Elizabeth's own. The man gives him a knowing smile, so Makoto returns one, too.

Makoto looks down at his own feet, noticing the way the floor – which should've been solid and unmoving, unchanging – seems to shift and change just barely at the edge of his shoes. He frowns, unsure of what to make of it, Ryoji's comment from earlier squirming its way back into his mind. Red eyes gleaming beyond the dark smog of a beast resting at the edge of reality, fangs and claws sharpened by pain and misery of billions of humans—

"We'll explore only a floor for tonight," Mitsuru's voice cuts off his thoughts, and he blinks to clear his head. He shakes it at Ryoji, who looks at him with concern, as he concentrates on Mitsuru's words – or at least, tries to – while she explains their plans for the night. "Yuuki – Kotone – you'll lead the team. It isn't that you haven't proven yourself, Yuuki Makoto—"

"It's fine," Makoto shrugs easily, ignoring the way Kotone is looking at him, with reservation instead of openness she showed him at the beginning. "I don't like leading people, anyway."

"…That's good to hear," Mitsuru says, clears her throat, and glances at Akihiko – who seems as relief as she is with Makoto openly declining the position that they don't want him to take – before resuming in her explanation. "…regardless, there is one thing to look out about Tartarus; its structure changes every day. Outside support is imperative, which is why I have to stay outside. Mochizuki doesn't have a Persona, but he has the ability to sense hostility. He'll stay back here to help provide support, to communicate with you through me about possible incoming Shadows."

"Isn't that… kinda dangerous?" Junpei asks with a small frown. "What if we get lost?"

"With our help, you hopefully won't," Mitsuru says, without sugarcoating anything, as always. Makoto has always liked that about her – her inability to say anything remotely resembling a white lie, is something he always appreciates. He doesn't like to be told he'll live when he's destined to die, after all— "but the floor won't change enough for you to be out of my reach. That's why we'll look around for only one floor for tonight, to get the feel of it. And if I deem it safe enough, in other nights, we might be able to climb higher."

"Roger that!" Kotone says cheerfully, voice grating on his eardrums and making him frown, the misplaced enthusiasm making his gut churns with an emotion he couldn't quite name. "Everyone ready?"

"You're so unfazed, Koto-nan," Junpei sighs, but with less jealousy and skepticism than what he'd shown when Makoto was in charge; a change so glaring and disturbing that it does nothing but confirming his budding suspicion that he does not belong in this world, shouldn't exist and shouldn't— "But hey! I guess if you're leading us, then we should be good! Sorta. Eh. Whatever. I'm ready!"

"So am I," Yukari says, stretching her arms and readying her bow, even if her fingers still shake with that smidge of fear that lingers.

Makoto doesn't say anything as he waits for Kotone to ascend the stairs, but when the silence stays even after they've confirmed their readiness, he turns – and they are all looking at him. Ryoji mouths you have to say it too, to which he only returns with a scoff. He supposes forgetting is par for the course; he is so used to be the one asking for a confirmation that he has forgotten that this time, his role is to follow the lead, and not taking the first step. "I'm ready."

They gather, with Kotone's eyes following his footsteps, her mouth pressed into a thin line. He ignores it – as he has been for the past who knows how long – as he swings the sword, testing the weight and, as always, finding the faults in the way the weight shifts strangely in his hand. Makoto stifles the sigh back down, and follows Kotone as she takes the lead up the stairs, but not before Mitsuru whistles for their attention one last time.

He turns, and finds her saying something she hadn't hundreds of lives ago; "be careful, all of you. Take care, and return home safely."

Kotone grins, bright and wide. "We will, Mitsuru-senpai! Be right back!"

Makoto decides to ignore that same pain, one that grows stronger with each different interaction that Kotone gets, and pushes everything back into a box deep within his heart. He has to focus – right now, the tower awaits.

"Three Shadows twelve meters to your right, four right ahead of you."

Ryoji's voice – even through Penthesilea – is an odd calm against the emotions Makoto isn't too willing to feel or to look into just yet. Orpheus hums as he swings his blade, foot skidding in the same manner, the same folly he's always repeated when he fights in Thebel. Even after constant repeating cycles he has gone through, he still sometimes forgets about the blood pool that would, more often than not, throw him off balance.

He curses under his breath, using that unintentional momentum to sweep his sword low, cutting the Shadows' equivalent of feet and staggering them just in time for Kotone and her Naginata to finish them off with a surprising show of finesse that Makoto lacks. He doesn't say anything, but nods his head as he wipes the sweat off his brows.

"That's some nice footwork, Kotone-chan," Ryoji praises her easily, and Makoto could hear a smile in his voice as he hums, quiet and with adoration. Makoto couldn't help but feel a little jealous, even if he knows full well that Ryoji loves him more than he ever loves himself. "But why a Naginata? Have you perhaps had experience with one before?"

"You could say that," Kotone replies with a small smile, even when an edge of sadness lingers when she looks at him. He, as always, makes a point to ignore her – he's not the brother that she knows, he never could be, he's just an imitation that isn't meant to be here in the first place— "So, a quick check! How are you guys doing? Wanna take a breather?"

"Yeah," Junpei's reply is quick and curt, his form hunched over against the wall. Makoto also notes the way Yukari rubs at her drawing arm, fingers trembling just minutely on her bow. "Gimme a few minutes and I'm good. How much longer do we need to go till we can go back?"

"You're nearly at the end of that floor," Mitsuru says through the link, and true to her words, he could see it even from here – the stairs that would lead them further up, a tiny step towards the zenith of the world, towards the fated battlefield that hopefully would mark his grave for the final time— "Once you are, you can return. I do not intend to let you explore much today."

"Roger that!" Kotone says, with her face tilting just slightly upward. Makoto scuffs his shoes against the floor, a strange feeling of unease and dread that eats away at him when he's first set foot in Tartarus – something that never happens before – growing stronger the longer he stays. He frowns, deciding to call Orpheus for his aid. And sure enough, he starts playing a strange, otherworldly song into his ears, calming down his beating heart and— "Makoto-nii, you okay? You look pale."

"I'm fine," he half-growls, briefly closing his eyes to center himself before snapping them open, kicking the blade back up into his hand and rolling his shoulders, ones that have started to sore over a few simple fights that never fail to tire him out no matter how many lives he has repeated. This is the reason why he always makes a point to start training as soon as they visit Tartarus and gaining access to the Kendo team's practice. "Keep going."

"Okay!"

With that, Kotone leads the way forward, her steps quick and light, unlike his – he's always prided himself (something he rarely does anymore) in his steps, slightly faster than Mitsuru, but slower and less stable than Akihiko's own, but with more finesses and more control. But hers? Hers are light, almost like a feather dancing on a water's surface, a contrast to her weapon of choice, one that should've matched best with strong, unfaltering steps.

He lets himself observe as he tilts his head to the side to avoid a piercing attack from a Shadow, noticing the way her steps seem more like a dance than a fight for her life; light and free in spirit, her blade flowing like water and glancing the edge of the Shadows' masks before sundering it to pieces with one final circle. And, frankly, Makoto finds himself actually captivated by the way she is.

And, to his defense, Ryoji is openly ogling her for it. "Wow, Kotone-chan. Anyone ever told you that you're pretty doing everything?"

"A few, but I'll take it any day!" She laughs brightly as she swings the long weapon a few times. Makoto nearly forgets to kill his enemy, but thankfully reacts in time, stabbing it between the eyes before flinging its body into the wall, letting it splatter into the black ooze that its body is made of. "Also, I didn't know you're that type of guy who'd say that so shamelessly to a girl, you know."

"In my defense, you were spectacular, truly!" Ryoji says, a pout all too clear in his voice. Makoto tugs and pulls at their bond teasingly, making the boy splutter before a whine escapes him. "I've rarely seen anyone as beautiful as you fighting, Kotone-chan. And I've seen a lot of fights."

Makoto knows what Ryoji means, and he finds no offense in that. Kotone seems like a natural, to him, and that is a good sign. She'd need all the edges that she can get for the months to come. He blinks away another wave of darkness that seems to keep invading his senses as Kotone speaks up. "Aw, thank you so much! But I've trained just for fun. Never thought I'd actually have the chance to use it. I don't know if I should be glad, or if I should be mortified by this."

"Be glad about it, Koto-nan!" Junpei laughs as he slaps her shoulder, as physical as he always has been. She doesn't seem to mind – again, something that is a stark contrast to Makoto's own conduct – as she laughs alongside him. "You're so cool out there!"

"For once, I actually agree with Junpei," Yukari grins, even if her arm loses some of its strength. "You're so good at this, Kotone-chan! Also, Eurydice's music is beautiful."

It is, Makoto admits. While the beats of Orpheus' lyre are of long-lost hope and sadness and death, hers are of light and life, of distant stars and hope, something that lift up spirits instead of pulling them down. They couldn't have been more different, and he shouldn't be here at all—

"Are you okay, Makoto-nii?"

Her voice cuts off his thoughts, and Makoto, for once, feels his breath hitches. He frowns, flexes his fingers over the empty air, before forcing out another breath. "I'm fine. Let's get going."

She doesn't seem convinced. "You don't look it. Can we call it a little early, Mitsuru-senpai?"

"Of cou—"

"I'm fine," Makoto bites out, irritation burning at the tip of his tongue like poison, and he doesn't want to feel like this. He's been through lives after lives, and the last thing he wants to be is a deadweight when he has never been before, when he should've been the one who persist, should've been the one who will stand at the apex of the world to stop mankind's foul manifestation to ever reach Nyx— "We just need to finish this floor, then we can go."

Kotone pulls back, a slight frown on her face. Eventually, though, she nods. "…Okay. If you say so. Lead the way, Ryoji-kun, Mitsuru-san."

"Roger that."

Makoto ignores the strange looks he gets and breathes, focusing inwards and to the many masks that await. All he needs to do is what he's always done best; keep on moving, forward and onto death that waits at the end of this long, arduous road.

"You don't look alright at all, Makoto."

Ryoji says as soon as they return from the first expedition in Tartarus, and while Makoto is reluctant to admit it, he has to; he never feels this tired and spent after a night in Tartarus before, not in any of the cycles after the third one. His mind has been honed to a razor's edge, his Personas and his psyche at an apex only a few could've achieved, and yet the hand of exhaustion is clinging to him, making him feel all sorts of things he doesn't want to feel.

"I'm not," he says at last, dropping down into his bed before even kicking the shoes off, with his eyes staring straight up into the ceiling, noting the way black spots are spread on it. He glances to the camera, and when the lights are not on, murmurs. "I've never been tired in Tartarus, not since the first few times. It's strange, and disconcerting."

"It's not just that that's bothering you, is it?" Ryoji sits down at the edge of the bed, hand finding Makoto's own, squeezing gently. Makoto exhales, closing his eyes and focusing his thoughts on that feeling. "Makoto, you belong in this place, too. She has memories of you. You survived the explosion, you—"

"Maybe, but I'm not her brother," he says, biting his lip hard enough for the sting to form, for him to frown into himself and feel the way Orpheus stirs, this time with anxiety that shouldn't be. "I robbed her of her own family, Ryoji. I shouldn't be here. I am not her Makoto, I—"

"Shush," Ryoji says, pulling him up and holding him against his chest and his yellow scarf against Makoto's will, and he's so warm— "You're here right now. This is your world, too. You didn't rob her of anything. You are her brother, even if you don't have the memories that she has. You could just start again, be the brother that she's always had. Connect to her."

"I can't," Makoto breathes, closing his eyes and leaning further into Ryoji's warmth, hand placed on his chest, feeling the thud of his heart under his palm. "Ryoji, I can't. I am going to die – even if she's supposed to be the one who gains the power of the Universe, I'd rather it be me. I'm not the Makoto I used to be, not the Makoto you used to love. It's better that I die so that she can live and bond."

"You've always been the Makoto that I've fallen in love with," Ryoji says, the edge of his voice sad and forlorn, and Makoto couldn't help a choke that climbs up his throat, couldn't help the shakes in his body as a sob starts to wreck him. "You're you. You've always been you. You deserve to live as much as she does."

"Even after I've robbed her of her own family?" He murmurs. And Ryoji's silence is enough – that the other boy, too, realizes just how badly Makoto's presence here is, how much he doesn't belong. "I don't belong here, Ryoji. This is her world, not mine. I'm going to die to end the Dark Hour, and she's going to live, because this world is hers and not mine."

When Ryoji doesn't respond, keeping his silence, keeping his arms around Makoto, he allows himself to let go and, for the night – and only for this night – cry himself to sleep.

He manages to push those feeling all down after a night's rest (one that, as always, is plagued by the nightmares of what should've been, what could've been, what had become), and while he knows full well that the making of the Seal would be much easier with bonds, he decides to shun it all away.

If he has to die anyway, and if he's going to succeed with the bonds that he cherishes most already deep within his heart without the need to reforge the rest of them here, then why bother making new ones that would only serve to burn and hurt those that he loves?

Even if it hurts, with pain so deep that he could never forget, his pain would be brief and insignificant compares to the pain of those who live. So why bother at all? Why try to connect, when it would all serve to do nothing more than to hurt them, to change them into something that shouldn't be?

"What song is that?"

Kotone's voice snaps Makoto out of his thoughts. He's been purposefully avoiding anyone and everyone for the past few days, with Ryoji always by his side – his only anchor to reality, his only supporter, as begrudging as he may be. But Ryoji is just any other boy, one who loves life more than Makoto ever could, and he's out there enjoying life, while Makoto elects to stay in solitude, with silence and oftentimes Orpheus' strange music as his companions.

He frowns; while he usually keeps to his room, the entire dorm's electrical circuit decides to fuck itself up after a single thunder during the off-season rain that has never happened during the many cycles that past, and he's been left seated in the dorm's lounge, one that is supposed to be devoid of life; Mitsuru and Akihiko are out doing gods knows what, and the others won't return for as long as they could. This is one of the few times he could've had this place to himself, but here Kotone is, standing at the entrance with her schoolbag in one arm, an umbrella tugged in another.

"…I don't know," he replies half-heartedly, tuning the guitar in his lap once more and strums the song in time with Orpheus' voice, always so calm and so kind. He frowns when the key is still slightly off, so he adjusts again before stringing one note after another.

"Can I listen?" She asks, tilting her head to the side as she puts the umbrella a distant away from the door before walking over, sitting across from him with her bag resting on the table.

Makoto shrugs, closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling of the strings' hardness against his fingers and nails before he starts singing along with Orpheus' ethereal hum;

"Sayonara arigatō koe no kagiri

Kanashimi yori motto daijina koto

(I said "goodbye" and "thank you" as loud as I could

I wanted to tell you something that's much more important than sadness)

Sariyuku senaka ni tsutaetakute

Nukumori to itami ni maniau yō ni

(And when I'm gone, I hope that I managed to convey

That in time, the pain will turn to warmth as we go our separate ways)

Kono mama tsuzuku to omotteita

Bokura no ashita o egaiteita

(I thought it'll last forever

I was imaging our tomorrow together)

Yobiatteita

Hikari ga mada

Mune no oku ni atsuinoni

(The light that was bouncing

between us is still

Burning in my chest)

Bokutachi wa moesakaru tabi no tochū de deai

Te o tori soshite hanashita mirai no tame ni

(We met in the middle of a fiery journey

We held our hands and let them go for the sake of the future)

Yume ga hitotsu kanau tabi boku wa kimi o omoudarou

Tsuyoku naritai to negai naita

(Every time a dream comes true, I'll think of you

I cried wishing to be stronger)

Ketsui o hanamuke ni

(I'll see you off with this determination)"

He doesn't know if Orpheus picks this song because of what he's lost – Aragaki (who he's just met when Junpei dragged them all to the hospital to visit Sanada. And while the man is as crass as ever, Makoto knows better – that he is gentle and kind, and he should've lived. And Makoto had failed him, just like he had everyone else—), countless others he couldn't name and Ryoji, too, at the end of every road that leads them here – or simply because the song itself is beautiful, but he likes to think that this is chosen as a tribute to those he couldn't save. The least he could've done for them is to keep them in his memories, as deep and unblinking as he could, as he fights for his right to die for the last time, for the world to live and for her to take his place—

But that's a wrong way of thinking, isn't it? Kotone is her own person, so is he. But he's done the worst that he's ever did, even if it's unintentional, even if he doesn't want to; he's robbed her of her last family member, sundering the bonds that should've been with his mere intervention alone. He couldn't be the brother that she had, not with his soul marked by his own failures and his mistakes, not like this. For her sake, he has to stay away. This world is hers. He is simply here to see it through, and if he truly dies for the last time, being lonely wouldn't have been so bad; he would've paved the way for a brighter future with his cold grave, and he's alright with that.

He only wishes that, with Ryoji here instead of being untouchable and ethereal like he was a thousand lifetime ago, he could be spared, too; could be given back life, could enjoy it a little more with the friends that they share, and could appreciate the one thing he's been denied to have until the end of his human's lifespan. And maybe, if he could, maybe he could have saved someone else, like Aragaki, or changed events that were set in stones hundreds of lives before—

"…It's sad," her voice cuts him off, and he stops singing, stops conveying Orpheus' (his own) thoughts into words, but he keeps his hands moving, filling the silence with sound, with life. When she notices that he has stopped singing, she smiles slightly. "…who are you referring to in the song?"

"…Many," he says. And it is painful to lose people this way; he was supposed to be strong, the so-called chosen one set upon a blazing path towards a brighter future. But all he's ever managed to do is to watch as people die, his hands holding not enough sway to change fate. In all cycles, he had always tried to save Aragaki, but he never could; the man still died, still perished under the light of the Dark Hour. But maybe, this time will be different. He couldn't. But maybe she can. Correct the mistakes he's made and be better than he ever was—

"…You know," she begins again, and Makoto sighs, stopping his hands and letting the soft hum of the lingering notes fill the atmosphere. He doesn't look up, not even when her voice turns sad, forlorn; for the brother she has lost, he should think. "I don't know what happened, but… I've known you for all of my life, Makoto-nii. And now you're just… I feel like I don't know you anymore. And I want to, I really do."

"What good would that do?" He says, pulling the mask of cold apathy, of hostility, over his face. He could not be the brother that she has, but he could cut ties here, severs it and lets it rot. It may leave her with a scar, but it'll prepare her for his eventual death, one that will come without fail. "I'm not the brother you know. I never was, and I never will be. You're not even a sister to me—"

Not the one I'm supposed to have. Not the one I deserve to have, remains unspoken.

"Makoto-nii!" She says – snaps – as she rises to her feet, with tears in her eyes and shaking fingers. Makoto knows doing this would mean he's going to hurt her – and while he knows nothing about this girl, not a single fact, he also doesn't like the feeling of intentionally harming someone. He shouldn't, but he has to – he must— "We're family! We've always been! I've—"

"Shut up," he bites out against the bile rising up in his throat, the unease bubbling up his stomach like lava. He frowns, putting the guitar away and standing up, Orpheus' lyre singing in time with Eurydice's own, and oh, it hurts to even breathe. "Just… get out of my sight. I don't want to see you."

I don't want to hurt you more than this.

Makoto leaves in a hurry, feeling just like that day on New Year's Eve; like he's left a part of himself behind to break and shatter in his wake.

Kotone had always known her brother to be silent and hard to read, but he's different.

Different. Hostile. And it makes her sick.

"Koto-nan, you okay?" Junpei asks after a gruelling class with the one and only Edogawa, and oh god, why does that class have to be so long?

"I'm not," she says, blowing a strand of stray hair out of her face, frowning in the direction of her brother – who, with Ryoji and Ryoji alone, is smiling. Chuckling lightly, even, unlike when they're alone. They used to know each other like the back of their own hands, used to be able to read each other's mind without the need for words, used to help each other through times where they were left alone. But now, she no longer knows him— "What do you think of Makoto-nii?"

"Mm? Makoto?" Junpei asks, tilting his head to the side, his frown deepening – something he never does with her or Yukari, mind you – with his lips set. "Eh, I don't know how you'd put this. But I've seen lotsa introvert before. He's just on whole 'nother level though, seriously."

"Elaborate?" She half-mumbles into her arms as she keeps watching her brother – who, up until now, she has never realized does not see her as his own – talking and being at ease with Ryoji. She wants to blame Ryoji for the change, but after knowing him, she just knows that Ryoji isn't the type to do that kind of thing. Flirting people shamelessly? Sure. But not hurting people, not turning one person against another.

"Just a feeling I get talkin' to him and all," Junpei shrugs again, sitting down in Yukari's seat across from her and leaning his cheek against his hand. He ponders on what to say for a moment before shrugging once again. "But I dunno, Koto-nan. You know him better than I do. He looks kinda cold to me, though, and almost like he really doesn't care about anyone or anything except Ryoji?"

"That's what I thought, too," she sighs, not willing enough to voice her worry out loud.

Kotone has always been… dependent on people, to a degree. Makoto is the quiet one, never so much as looking forward to talking to anyone ever since the very beginning. And he has always been her emotional support, her very pillar of going through the past decade. She has been there for him, too, but she doesn't know – never know – that he doesn't see her so much as a sister, and it hurts, it hurts so bad—

"Am I interrupting something, Kotone-chan?"

That voice, kind but always sounding so oddly familiar, pulls her out of her thoughts. She looks up to see Ryoji leaning on Junpei's shoulder, with a kind smile, not the flirtatious one he's always worn around any of them in the Dorm. And when she looks into those sapphire blue eyes, so intense and glowing with the light of something ephemeral, something like dying stars at the edge of the universe, she finds herself looking away.

After a moment, when she realizes that she's left that question unanswered, she sighs. "No, no, you're not. I'm just having a little crisis, but I'm okay. I think."

"Are you free this afternoon?" Ryoji says, oblivious to the dirty look Junpei is throwing him. When Kotone raises an eyebrow, the boy just smiles. "I've always wanted to know Makoto's sister better since I've learnt about it, you know? And we never got the chance to talk before, I think."

"Go ask your b—" Kotone starts, before cutting the word boyfriend off half-way. While she feels like Makoto is a stranger and not her beloved brother – not anymore – she still doesn't find it decent to mention that kind of relationship out loud. She sighs loudly "—ask your best friend why he never mentioned me before, and I might answer you."

Ryoji doesn't seem to find that statement anywhere near funny, brows furrowing and fingers twitching over his bright yellow scarf. But that look is gone just as soon as it had appeared, and Kotone blinks as the boy hums, quiet and… with a twinge of sadness she couldn't quite place, one that makes her heart ache, one that makes Eurydice sing with sorrow. "…I'm sorry."

Junpei is looking back and forth between them, an attempt to cheer them both up already at the tip of his tongue, but Kotone stops him as she gets up from her seat. "It's nothing you should be apologizing for, Ryoji-kun," she says, eyes flickering towards Makoto once before trailing back to Ryoji. Something in her stirs, a Social Link ready to be made, a bond ready to form, perhaps… "I'm free today. What do you wanna do?"

Ryoji perks up, beaming slightly, before he stands to his full height, too – a good few inches over her, at least – with his smile lightening up, the dots of what she thinks is pained acceptance melting away into something warmer. "That's great. I just want to sightsee today, since Makoto denied my attempts to drag him to the Moonlight Bridge just now. Do you mind?"

Moonlight Bridge is an odd place for him to sightsee, Kotone has to say. But that spark of little something is there, like nostalgia in the depths of his bright blue eyes, and she finds herself agreeing to it with only a heartbeat's worth of pause. "Of course not. Lead the way."

Ryoji complies, but not before saying goodbye to Makoto, who treats as if she doesn't exist.

(It hurts, it hurts, and why would he do that? Has this past decade been a lie? Has he been her support, her emotional pillar, only as a play? Why?

Kotone decides to stifle those questions away, allowing Ryoji's incessant talks to muffle the sound of her own heart, painful and suffocating.)

She never knew that the Moonlight Bridge has this kind of view.

Much to her surprise, Ryoji takes her up – past the walkways of the bridge and into the maintenance shaft, without a shred of fear of being discovered or falling – to the very top of the bridge. The sun has already started to set when they reach the top, and the way the slightly red-hued light reflects off the ever-shifting surface of the water is just breathtakingly beautiful she couldn't help but gawk in awe.

Eurydice strums her instrument with care, soft and kind, as she sits down beside Ryoji. The boy keeps his eyes on the horizon, all the light smile and flirtatious grin and bearings of a womanizer all gone, replaced by something much more sorrowful, something… she couldn't fully name. Kotone doesn't say anything for a moment yet, electing to let silence stays, waiting for him to break it.

And break it he does, with a small sigh and a look of someone who's lost those he loves, something she feels is misplaced, and yet… "…I've always liked it here, you see. From up here, you can see lives beyond the horizon, you can see the way the sun gives way to the moon, you can see… a lot of things you usually never pay attention to."

"Yeah," she hums in agreement, tilting her head to the side and kicking her legs – ones that dangled over the edge – back and forth minutely. "It's beautiful here."

He stays silent for a while longer. Another sigh, then, "I'm sorry. About Makoto, I mean."

"What he did isn't your fault," Kotone mutters, twiddling her thumbs uneasily in her lap as she frowns, slight as it may, before something akin to anger bubble up her throat and to her lips, spilling out of her mouth before she could even stop herself. "…He never mentioned me. The dick never mentioned me!"

If she hasn't been honed to be sensitive towards emotions in general, she would've missed it; the way his eyes twitch, the way his smile falters. But he recovers quickly – far too quickly – as he laughs, the sound a horrible interpretation of joy. "Makoto is… he can be difficult, but trust me, he never did those things intentionally."

"But forgetting to mention his twin sister, though?" She repeats back, incredulous. "Ryoji-kun, you do realize that that sounds—"

"—not like something family should do to each other? Yes, I know," the boy breathes, eyes glancing up towards the sky, now slowly dotted and painted with light and jewels from beyond their reaches. Ryoji then takes another pause, sighing into his hand and leaning forward, enough for Kotone to briefly fear that he might tip over and fall. "…I have no words for that, but… mm, he can be hard to understand for a lot of people, even his own family."

Kotone doesn't say anything, too tired to keep thinking about Makoto and his sudden coldness towards her, his sudden change upon returning to where it all began for the both of them – to where their father and mother died on the Moonlight Bridge.

She quickly rearranges her thoughts – thinking about any of that would do her no good, she supposes – and changes the subject to something she could stomach. "Let's stop talking about something so depressing. So, how did you know my br— Makoto—?"

It's hard to grind the word brother and Makoto-nii out of her, but she will. Until she either gets an answer as to why he would say such a hateful thing, or until the end of time. No in-betweens.

"It's… actually a very long story," Ryoji frowns, seemingly unsure himself. "I'll tell you more another time, but let's just say I met him during the Dark Hour, and it's one thing after another. Next thing I know, I've already fallen in love with him, hard and fast and absolute."

"…Okay, that's off to a weird start," Kotone comments with a small frown, shrugging and plucking a strand of white hair off of her head. "…But I respect that. To each his own, I guess."

Ryoji chuckles, but with a little reserve – just as he has with almost everything that he does – before he turns to her, his smile sad. "I'm sorry that Makoto did that to you. You don't deserve that."

"Say that to him," she says, the ghost of bitterness biting and clawing at the back of her throat. She frowns when Eurydice doesn't share her anger, the song she plays with her lyre an imitation of what she's heard Makoto dotted into the guitar not too long ago. She doesn't know the name, doesn't even know from when the song originates, but it sounds oddly melancholic, enough to make her want to cry— "I've known him all my life, and he just… told me he never saw me as a sister, and then told me to get out of his sight."

Ryoji doesn't say anything, but she looks up to see a thoughtful light in his eyes. The boy seems to want to say something before he shakes his head, mostly to himself. "…No, I suppose there's no way for me to explain him to you. What he did is cruel."

"I just want to know why," she mutters, mostly to herself, expecting no answer from him. She decides to bury it all away – thinking about it would do her no good. Talk to him. She has to talk to him, catch him alone while Ryoji isn't around—

"He won't ever tell you why," Ryoji sighs. "He's more stubborn than a bull, and that's coming from me."

She snorts a laughter at that, even if that edge of bitterness remains, even if it still hurts and the wound is still raw. "…Yeah, that's true."

"Although," Ryoji says again, this time with a bit more life to his voice. She turns to him, to see the boy smiling gently and almost too brightly at her, with stars spreading across the expanse of his eyes. "I might not be able to mend what he's broken, but I am more than happy to lend you an ear. Or even be there for you, or anything, should you need me."

She blinks; while she really doesn't have much reservations with, well, anything, the people she's met so far has their own troubles they need to sort through, their own pain they need to overcome. But here, he's doing what she's been doing for the others; to be the ear she could talk to, the person she might be able to confide it.

Eurydice sings, in exultation and with lightness, and she finds herself smiling, nodding slightly as she returns her gaze towards the far horizon, as the sun kisses its last goodbye to the world for the day, and allowing the moon to come up across the darkened sky.

"Thanks, Ryoji-kun," Kotone says, humming a new tune that Eurydice sings into her. "I'll hold you onto that, then."

(Somewhere in her heart, an Arcana stirs; Death, the end of the cycle and the new beginning, the foreboding yet gentle name that fills her heart with both dread and joy. It is the name that is feared, but one that she knows to be far gentler than what most would think of.

And she would cherish this, not knowing where the path of Death will lead her towards.)

And if you have guessed it, the song is LiSA's HOMURA! Go listen to it, it's beautiful and if you haven't watched Demon Slayer's Mugen train, go watch! :D

See you next time!