When I look at you, I see a time lost. I see a world forgotten. I see a life left behind.
But I don't see past it.
September 2010
Rory walked down the stairs with some strange sort of feeling in her stomach, making her question the source of it. It had been a very long time since she experienced this feeling, long enough for her to ask if it was a case of food poisoning instead. As she reached the bottom of the stairs and looked around the room, she couldn't spot her grandparents anywhere. She felt like a five year old lost in the mall.
Just as she was about to panic some more, she found Richard standing and chatting with a couple of men next to a fireplace. Rory sighed a sigh of relief and made her way to them. Her run-in with Logan Huntzberger had put her on edge she was very unfamiliar with. She rarely found herself having the case of nervousness paired with little butterflies in her stomach, hardly ever in context to a man.
"Hello, everyone." Rory greeted everyone as per the proper etiquette drilled into her by grandmother until it was second nature. "Grandpa, are we ready to leave soon?"
"I have been ready for over an hour. It's your grandmother who insists on staying a little while longer." Richard said. "Wilson. James. This is my granddaughter, Rory. She is an excellent writer for a newspaper in New York." Richard introduced Rory proudly.
"Grandpa, when you put it like that, you make it sound like I work for the Times or something," Rory said, slightly embarrassed, that she didn't work for a prominent Newspaper like the Times or the Post.
"Don't be so modest, young woman. It's refreshing to see young individuals working hard." Wilson commented with a kind smile on his face.
"Well, Wilson, everyone works hard, but it's not always enough. Is it? Don't you think if hard work were the road to success, manual labor would be the highest paid job in the world?" James said, swirling the drink in his hand.
"James, what do you mean by that? Are you implying that Rory….?" Richard asked, getting slightly angry. Much more offended than Rory was.
"No, no. God, no. I am sure Rory is a very talented woman. My comment was in reference to hard work and assuming its role in one succeeding." Wilson quickly added, seeing Richard visibly upset. "I do not mean to offend you, Rory."
"Damn right, she is a very talented woman. A very talented woman indeed." Richard said.
"I think we should go look for grandma. Don't you, grandpa?" Rory said, hoping her grandfather would take the hint. She believed James to a little extent, at least in reference to her. But she wasn't going to say it out loud now that her grandfather had made such a scene of correcting James.
"Very well. Wilson, James, I'll see you next week for our golf game." Richard said, and he and Rory started walking away.
"Grandpa, why do you do that?" Rory asked. "Make it sound like I am a star reporter or something."
"But you are my dear girl." Richard said, looking appalled at anything else other than that being true.
"It's just Newsday. I bet half of the people here don't even know it exists." Rory said uncomfortably.
"So what? It takes time to achieve success in your line of work. You don't become famous overnight." Richard replied.
"I wouldn't call three years overnight." Rory said.
Richard looked at Rory suspiciously, "Are you happy at work, Rory? Is something bothering you?"
"I am." Rory said, taking a sip of champagne and looking at Richard with a smile. "Besides, it pays rent. Money is good."
"Do you need help financially? Because I can always help…." Richard said, getting more and more concerned.
Rory cut Richard from completing that sentence and said, "I can take care of my finances myself, grandpa. Thank you, really. But you don't need to worry about it."
Rory couldn't bear to accept lest hearing out loud that she wasn't in the best financial condition. After getting the best education money could buy from studying at a prep school to graduating from an Ivy league. She was more than humiliated to admit that even with no student loans, she wasn't doing very well after finishing college three years ago.
And like she had been reminded a thousand times. Taking help from her grandparents was not an option.
"If you say so." Richard said hesitantly, not wanting to drop the topic, but he could see that Rory was a little upset with the line of questioning, but he did want her to know something, "But should you ever need it. I would be more than happy to help."
"Thank you, grandpa." Rory said sincerely. She was grateful to have her grandparent's support in her life even though they drove her to the brink of crazy sometimes.
"Richard? Rory? See who I ran into." Rory could hear the excitement in her grandmother's voice even though Rory's back was towards Emily Gilmore. She could bet all the money in her purse plus a million dollars that it was a society boy.
"Son, it's been a very long time since I saw you. How are you?" Richard extended his hand to greet the person who Rory guessed would be consuming the next fifteen minutes of her life with stock, insurance, and German automobiles.
"Very well, Richard. I apologize for my lack of presence at these events. I have been holed up in London for the last few years. You can blame my father for that." Logan Huntzberger said.
"It wasn't all for waste. I have read your interviews in Forbes, GQ, Time magazine. Name the magazine, and you were in it last year. And to be in Forbes 30 under 30. I say whatever you did in London worked for you, Logan." Richard said with a big smile on his face.
"Don't let my father hear you say that. He will be here faster than the fox to take all the credit." Logan said seriously, but Richard and Emily both laughed at that. Logan took that moment to look at Rory, who was looking right back at him.
Truthfully Emily's run in Logan was more designed than coincidental. Logan saw Rory chatting with Richard and the familiarity that they were talking with to school other. It didn't take much for Logan to put two and two together and soon after finding Emily Gilmore and ask her about Richard.
"Oh, where are my manners? This is Logan Huntzberger. This is one of his cousin's engagement party. The Huntzberger's are very dear friends of the family." Emily introduced Logan with much delight. To Rory, it seemed like Emily was swooning much more than appropriate for a married woman. Rory would be concerned for her grandfather, but he looked equally smitten by Logan.
"Hi. Nice to meet you." Logan smiled at Rory, looking utterly innocent. Still, Rory knew that he must be enjoying himself tremendously at her impasse right now when she had made it a point not to introduce herself earlier in the evening.
"Don't want to introduce yourself?" Emily nudged Rory to introduce herself.
"I am Rory Gilmore." Rory finally said and had to suppress a groan at Logan's smirk.
"Beautiful name, Rory." Logan said as he raked his eyes, taking in the stunning brunette in front of him with her blue eyes piercing him.
Rory shook Logan's extended hands and rolled her eyes as she noticed the blond man in front of her not meeting her eyes but rather checking her out. Rather inappropriately in front of her grandparents. Who were oblivious to all this as they shared a look of their own.
"So? Are you having fun here, Rory?" Logan Huntzberger asked with his flashiest grin.
"I am, thanks. You have a beautiful house." Rory said, gesturing to the room.
"Yeah, it's a house, alright ." Logan couldn't stop himself from saying that as his eyes searched for Rory's to look at him.
At Least I can see she is getting all worked up again.
"You look gorgeous. Red works for you." Logan said, his deep brown eyes sparkling and his words teasing her.
"Uhh… Thanks." Rory said, looking anywhere but at Logan.
"Logan would mind showing Rory around. I am afraid she hasn't been able to socialize tonight with anyone her age. And you know our old people's conversations are just too boring for you youngbloods." Emily said.
"Emily, don't joke now. You are not old. You don't look a day older than 30." Logan said charmingly.
"Richard see, Logan thinks I look thirty." Emily Gilmore practically glowed at the compliment.
"I agree with him, Emily." Richard nodded.
"And I don't mind taking Rory around." Logan offered.
"Grandma, about that. Can we leave yet? I need to get back to the city. I just got a text that I have to go to work tomorrow morning." Rory lied.
Ouch.
"On a Saturday? Honestly, you would think that stupid editor of yours is making you work like a dog." Emily complained. "Are you sure you can't postpone whatever it is?"
"I am afraid that the news never takes the weekends off." Rory said, shrugging his shoulders.
"I bet Logan can second that." Richard said.
"I sure can." Logan agreed, now recovered from the initial shock of Rory refusing to let him show her around. It wasn't that he minded it only… that never happened before. Especially at a place like this, where everyone knew his last name. It was refreshing. She was refreshing.
"Now, Rory, do you know that Logan's company owns several newspapers all over the country and a few on the European continent? And should you need any help or anything…" Richard said. He was still concerned about Rory after the conversation he just had with her a few moments earlier.
"No!" Rory said immediately.
She doesn't want my help? But I am the best contact to have if you are in this industry.
"I mean, I am perfectly okay at my current newspaper." Rory added at her grandmother's glare.
"But should you need any help in the future, you can reach out to me." Logan said sincerely.
"Thanks." Rory said for courtesy's sake. She had no intention of needing any sort of help from him.
"If you will excuse me. I see my sister waving at me, standing with my mother. I am pretty sure that it's an SOS alert. I should go check it." Logan joked. And before leaving, he looked at Rory one more time, and much to his delight, she did look back right at him. Very much to his joy.
"So thoughtful." Emily admired as Logan walked away.
"Grandpa, I am going to call a cab. It's getting very late." Rory said, halting Emily's swooning.
"Certainly not. The driver will drop you after he drops us home." Emily said, shaking her head.
"Are you sure? I don't want to cut your evening short." Rory said as she watched Logan interact with who she supposed was his sister.
Rory balanced the Carton she had just picked up from her apartment's lobby in one arm and tried to fish out for her keys out the purse from the other.
"Ahha!" Rory said, taking out the keys and unlocked the door. She placed the Carton on the small table she was using as makeshift dining table seating two. She could hear the Television playing, so she knew she wasn't home alone.
The very long ride back into the city had her famished. She should have taken up her grandmother on packing those sandwiches with her. Rory opened the fridge to check if there were any leftovers from before. She groaned at seeing a carton of milk which was already expired, and practically an empty fridge. She picked up the milk and threw it in the bin.
The blood from Rory's brain must have gone down to her stomach with all the gurgling it was doing. Because she had carried a big box of a care package sent by her mother. And if anyone knew the rules to the contents of a care package, it was her mother. 60% food and the rest whatever. Rory quickly opened the box and started taking out the items rapidly. She flew past a sweater, a dress, a cap, a fancy notebook, some dragonfly stationary until she finally reached two boxes of gourmet cookies, no doubt baked by Sookie. One was a chocolate-coated hazelnut cookie, and the other was salted caramel butter cookies. Rory opened the second box, and as she put the first biscuit in her mouth. She felt like she had died and gone straight to heaven.
Rory picked up the box and opened the door to the room.
"Jess, you're still up?" Rory asked, leaning down to kiss him. As Jess leaned in for more, she pulled back.
"I thought I would wait up for you." Jess said, shifting to look back at the show playing.
"What did you do today?" Rory asked, sitting down on the bed to take off her shoes.
"A little bit of this. A little bit of that." Jess said, shrugging his shoulders.
Rory looked over her shoulder to see if he was serious. First the brush off in the morning, now again.
"Was it busy at the store today?" Rory asked, trying to make conversation going.
"No more than the usual." Jess replied, flipping the channel on the television.
"Oh." Rory said, slightly discouraged at his lack of proper response. She could only carry the conversation so far. "Emma told me she and Rick were going to California for the weekend. Have you heard anything from Rick yet?"
"Jesus Christ. Is this 21 questions with Rory Gilmore or what?" Jess said, getting irritated. "And since when have you been talking to Emma?"
"I can talk to Emma if I want to talk to Emma. Besides, she is your partner's girlfriend, so of course, I am friends with her." Rory said, keeping the cookie box on the side table with much force.
"Friends? How many times have you met the girl?" Jess asked, his eyebrows drawn together.
"Fine. Acquaintances then." Rory said, irritated. The day's stress was getting to her. And if the past was any indication, it was better if she gave up now than continue with Jess's stubbornness.
"Hey, I didn't mean it like that." Jess said softly, trying to reach out for Rory's hand.
"I am sure." Rory replied sarcastically.
"I was hoping we could spend the day together today." Jess said when Rory refused to turn around. "I got the tickets for that concert you like and everything."
"Oh, Jess. I wish you would have told me that before or yesterday even." Rory hung her head low. "I would have gone to visit my grandparents some other weekend then." Rory said, shifting on the bed to sit opposite Jess so they could face each other.
"I am sorry." Rory said. She did mean it. Jess hardly ever made efforts to plan any outings for them. He hardly ever wanted to go out. Jess spent his days at the bookstore, his evenings writing alone, and his weekends with his friends from the bookstore. So to know today he went out of his way to plan something special for her, for them gave her a glimmer of hope. And it was because of her that they missed the chance to go out and remind themselves of why they were still doing this.
"Don't be. Speaking of, how was your day with your grandparents today?" Jess asked, shifting his attention back to the television.
"You how it is at the Gilmore's." Rory said, getting up to change for the night. "It's always this event or that dinner." Rory called out of the bathroom, changing into her nightclothes.
"And the house today was so magical. I can't stop thinking about how much more art history was present in that house. So magical."
"Oh really?" Rory heard Jess saying.
"Umm." Rory said absentmindedly.
"I don't understand. Why do you even bother going? To all these stupid matchmaking events. It seems like you enjoy it." Jess said.
Rory peaked her head from behind the bathroom door to look at Jess. Surely he could understand why she went, right? "They might be slightly deranged, but they are my grandparents. They are old. It's only been a few years since grandpa had that heart attack. I can't shake thinking about their mortality ever since. I do care about them." Rory said, putting her clothes in the laundry bin.
"Even with all their meddling?"
"Especially with all their meddling. It means that they care." Rory said, coming out of the bathroom. Now wholly changed into a pink pajama set.
"Seems like you have a case of masochism." Jess commented.
"If they get happy by meeting me for four hours every couple of months, then fine, I am a masochist. And today's party wasn't even that bad!" Rory snapped. "It was pretty good!"
"You know the reason they take you to these stupid parties is to get you to meet other guys. Right?" Jess said disdainfully.
"Well, Jess. If you made an effort to go to these parties with me, they wouldn't be doing this. Would they?" Rory said.
She knew that was exactly what was bothering Jess in the first place. It was not her being unavailable for the weekend but this. And he had taken a very long way to drive the conversation here very skillfully. Now that they were finally here, Rory couldn't keep her thoughts to herself about his selfish behavior.
"Yeah, right. Like that's ever going to happen." Jess snorted.
"Fine then. Just Fine." Rory snarled, throwing the pillows on her side and ducking under the cover to sleep facing the wall.
Rory hated that Jess wouldn't let the conversation go beyond what he had clearly decided for himself.
Rory didn't know how long it had been since she angrily got into the bed to sleep when Jess switched off the Television and got under the covers. She counted the sheep. She breathed in and out multiple times. Even did the progressive muscle relaxation technique she had read in the article Paris sent her, but sleep eluded her. As she heard Jess shuffle in the bed, Rory closed her eyes, and a few tears escaped the confines of her eyes as she pretended to sleep.
Jess switched off his night lamp.
"Good night." Jess whispered as he kissed Rory on her head.
Author's note - I don't know what else to say other than… It hurt me to write the second half as much as it hurt you to read it. But we will get past it.
I am blown away with your reviews. I hope you stay engaged like this, throughout the story.
Rate and Review.