Part Three

The closer Brienne got to King's Landing, the richer the land became. The soil was able to produce more during one season than the North was able to grow during a whole year. The trees and bushes appeared to be bigger and thicker, ripe fruits were hanging on the branches and twigs and one had nothing to do just to reach for and pick them. The farms and the villages were flourishing, the people seemed to be more cheerful and happier but deep inside she knew that they were still scared of Queen Cersei and her army.

While she was spending one night in a small, dark and dirty inn, laying awake, her stomach generously filled with a whole roast chicken and a handful of vegetables, she could hear the people talking.

Not only the host and his generous wife, but some of the guests as well were chatting on a low voice about the Gold Cloaks, how they still kept on appearing at the gate asking for money or food or for just a maid with a pretty face if they fancied her. The people were talking as if they had been unable to keep their thoughts inside their heads but still they were scared and very cautious. Brienne could not fall asleep easily and she had a lot to hear.

A soft female voice sighed:

- No matter what we do... no matter if we obey or not... as long as Cersei is the queen, our life is doomed.

- Hush, woman! – a male voice shouted at her – If your words reach the wrong ears, we all will be dead by sunrise!

Suddenly complete silence poured all over the inn and from that moment no one dared to speak until the first guests woke up and demanded their breakfast.

Jamie Lannister.

Is it really this woman you love, you keep on craving for? A bad queen for a great kingdom, a bad woman who wants nothing but power. A bad woman who is unable to give you the love and care you deserve. A bad woman who loves her children and herself, but who does not love you. You are her brother, her lover, her bodyguard, her slave – nothing more than a useful object to fulfil her desires.

I may be blind, I may be bitter, I may not be the woman for you – but I am able to see that she is not the woman for you either.

The closer Brienne got to King's Landing, the more excited she became. She did not have a completely detailed plan – all she was sure about was the end.

She felt as if her stomach had been full of butterflies especially when she realised that she was so close to Jamie Lannister and that she had all the possibilities to meet him again. He must have already arrived into King's Landing before her and probably he had joined the Queen's bodyguards again. Maybe he is just strolling along the corridors near her chamber, she thought, or standing at one of those tall windows to look around and check out what is going on underneath on the streets. She remembered seeing him standing there and looking out of the window, lost in his thoughts – she had wondered and she still wondered what he had been thinking of. A part of her wanted to see him so madly and deeply – a part of her wanted to avoid him and leaving King's Landing without encountering him.

Jamie Lannister.

I miss you so much. My heart, my soul and my body are craving for you so much it hurts. But yeah, I know that I am not destined for you. I came to set you free – and not to chain you to myself as I wish I could do deep inside of my heart.

It was really easy for her to enter the castle and the Red Tower where Queen Cersei was spending most of the time when she was not sitting on her throne or at one of the meetings of the Small Cabinet. Some of the guards remembered her from that time when she used to stay in King's Landing for a while, some others heard stories about her and her being a female knight, and recognised her. Who else could be that extremely tall and well-built woman, with short blonde hair, shiny blue eyes and slightly masculine facial features?

I am even taller than Jamie.

She remembered the night when they had been standing in front of the fireplace of her room in Winterfell and he had tried to seduce her with sweet words and lame excuses in order to get rid of his shirt. She could still laugh at those adorable memories and small bitter teardrops also gathered into her eyes. He was a few inches of shorter than her, but he did not seem to care about it. He did not care about her height, her wide shoulders and back, her muscular arms, her small breasts, her plain face. When he looked at her, Brienne saw pure love and pure lust in his eyes.

Jamie Lannister, my love.

She used to hate him and despise him, the Kingslayer, the Murderer, the Liar, the Golden-haired Bastard – the man she had been in love with for such a long time was Renly Baratheon. Renly was so perfect, good-looking, smart, funny and always ready to have fun. He showed kindness and politeness to her and he defended her when people tried to ridicule her during court events and balls and he was close enough to hear about that. He was without any faults – at least she used to think of that. She did not see more faults in him nowadays, she thought he could have been a great king but she had to understand that he would have been unable to keep his power for a longer time. He could have been able to organise amazing feasts and tournaments, entertaining his guests like the most generous host, he could have been able to have some great victories but he could never have been able to defeat Jamie Lannister and to be the leader of the country during a war.

Cersei was doing that much better than Renly or most of the men in power, except her father or maybe her brother, Tyrion. She had the brain for that, Brienne had to admit, and she knew the tricks as well. She could use the people around her as a talented puppeteer, with sweet words or with cruel threats. She was never short of good ideas and wicked plans and she seemed to know always what to do.

But then on that journey, throughout so many villages, rivers and forests, when accompanying him to King's Landing for the order of Lady Catherine, the more time she had spent with Jamie, the longer conversations and the greater adventures they had, she had fallen in love with him, without even noticing it. When Jamie had come back for her to save her from the bear, she had been unable to realise how deeply she had felt for him – now she could see that she had already been in love.

Jamie Lannister, my love.

Two male servants, dressed in dark green silk clothes and leather shoes, were hurrying past Brienne. They were chatting on a low voice but when they noticed her, they started to giggle immediately, watching her still, until they finally disappered at the corner of the corridor. Brienne used to hate being the centre of such scenes, people laughing at her, giggling, whispering, staring at her as if she had been a kind of never seen species.

Now she was able to stay completely calm and cool, she did not care about those glances and laughs anymore. You can laugh and point at me as you please, she thought, but now I know that I am not a monster. Jamie showed me that I am not a monster to be stared at, to be laughed at, to be ridiculed. I did not believe in myself – but I believe him.