Part Five

The corridors were empty as Brienne was walking along them to get to the middle of the city where she could head for the closest gate to exit King's Landing. A young female servant came running and disappeared at the corner without stealing a look at her. Her clothes were clean and pretty, her hair was arranged in a lovely bun, but in her eyes and on her face there was some kind of uneasiness flashing.

She remembered how crowded and noisy every corridor and room was when she visited King's Landing for the first time. Not only the whole castle, but the whole city used to be full of life, sounds and smells, she had been unable to walk along a short route without being bumped into a group of people, chatting and laughing or making plots, or into a servant making his or her errands, serving drinks, offering food, bringing messages, accompanying guests to somewhere else. Everyone used to seem to be happy and cheerful, and even behind the fake smiles and courtesies, there was a kind of safety and hope. Birds used to fly not only in the gardens but in the halls as well, cats and dogs used to run around among the thousands of feet. The place used to be full of life, it used to be exciting and dangerous, but now it was uninhabited, hopeless and boring. The only danger could be found where Queen Cersei was at that moment but even in her place some hollowness was felt.

Suddenly two well-built guards appeared, in silence, clothed in shiny armour, and walked past her. Both of them were blond and blue-eyed, middle-aged, with wrinkles around their eyes, they had probably fought in a great amount of battles. The taller one looked at her with a pinch of curiousity, then he turned away and continued his way without asking anything. She used to create sensation wherever she appeared, she had been asked questions or she had had to hear nasty remarks but now she seemed to be an ordinary person for everyone. Seeing the guards, Brienne's mind was wondering around Jamie Lannister again.

Where are you now? Are you close to me or just far from me, both in physical and in mental distance?

She was looking around to search for a familiar face but the castle seemed to be empty now. Maybe some dinner party was going on and every servant had to attend there or in the kitchen, she thought, but she found it surprisingly strange. No ladies-in-waiting were chatting or strolling around in the gardens – the only people she could meet before leaving the castle were some guards at the gate. The whole place could have appeared to be empty but armed guards were walking or standing at nearly every gate and door – the watch was constant and well-organised. Only the commandant of the guards was nowhere to see.

The streets, however, were annoyingly crowded, noisy and dirty, just as in her memories, and Brienne sped up her steps to leave King's Landing behind as soon as possible. Her heart was heavy because she had done what she could but she was unable to save Jamie from Cersei or from himself.

Where are you now, Jamie? In her bedroom? Are you holding her in your arms as you used to hold me? Are you kissing her and confessing your eternal love and faith for her? Are you happy now?

Little boys in dirty rags stared at her and called her names but most of the people did not care about her. The faces were thinner and hungrier than those faces in her memories, there were less vegetables and other kinds of food offered at the stalls at the market. The pubs, however, seemed to be full and busy as always as she walked past them, loud laugh and singing was heard despite it was only early in the afternoon.

Brienne finally left the city walls – the guards did not care about her at all. She used to be questioned and ridiculed, sometimes laughed at, but now as if it had been only a dream. She found it peculiar that she could not create any sensation anymore – although she did not miss that annoying feeling. How did this change happen and what did it mean? What was that change in King's Landing?

It is enough, she thought, I have finished with King's Landing and I don't want to waste a second on it. No matter what kind of changes are being done or will be done, it is not my business anymore.

She had to ride half an hour before she could find a comfortable-looking inn in the depth of a smaller forest. It was surrounded by old pine trees, the air was so fresh and breathtaking that she decided to stay for a while. She was hungry and tired now – she did not want to continue her journey before having a little rest.

I am strong, stronger than many men but this mental fight with Cersei made me so exhausted. She is such a poisonous person, she could even pour poison into a person simply by talking to or looking at them. However, I have nowhere to go, nowhere to hurry to and no one to look for me therefore I can stay a little.

She decided to have something to eat, rent a room for a night and have a deep sleep that she was deprived of during the previous nights. She put her horse into the stall, gave him fresh water and hay, then she rubbed her skin tenderly dry and clean. Only after that she entered the inn.

Inside there were only a few guests besides the middle-aged couple who owned the place. In their eyes Brienne could see some curious questions and some prudence but their welcome showed some true warmth as well. The roast wild turkey with the freshly boiled vegetables and spices appeared on her table very quickly, and no one paid attention to her during her dinner. No one tried to talk to her or ask questions, and it felt good and safe. She drank a huge mug of beer and tasted a big slice of pumpkin pie before going to bed. She was smiling as the delicious food and drink warmed her body up, even though deep inside she was really sad.

The following morning Brienne was not in a brighter mood but she managed to get rid of most of her exhaustion. She had a deep sleep without any dreams and she was thankful for that. Her heart was longing for Jamie Lannister but she knew that this would never change until her last breath on the Earth.

I will always love you and pray for you, no matter what may happen. I just wish you could be happy and satisfied with the life you have chosen. Jamie Lannister, my best friend, my hero, my love.

She woke up early, with a strong urge to return to Winterfell as soon as possible, and after a quick wash-up and a warm breakfast of porridge, roasted beef and beer, she decided to leave. She had no reason to stay in that sorrowful area, full of painful memories and thoughts, and she knew she could be more help and use by the side of the Stark family.

She said goodbye to her hosts, paid them well, accepted a piece of freshly baked bread from the generous landlady, covered into a nicely knitted fabric, then she stepped out of the inn.

The first rays of the sun shone through the branches and the leaves and its spectacle created some hopeful feelings inside her. It may be a good start for today, she thought, I have not seen such a lovely sunrise for a long time.

After a few steps, she heard a hoarse male voice:

- Where the hell do you think you are leaving?

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