Insomnia
"Who was that?" Steve demands to Fury. "And don't bullshit me. That wasn't a normal enemy. Clint knew him. Otherwise, he wouldn't have reacted like that."
The team had just returned from a mission that went wrong. For starters, their enemy got away. But during the battle, Clint reacted severely. He jumped out from his cover and started attacking the man. All while crying and yelling at him. Eventually the man got away from Clint, who was in the midst of a panic attack. All of this led to the team yelling at Fury, who assigned the mission. Knowing exactly who they were going against.
Natasha walks in. "How is he?" Steve asks. She doesn't even get the chance to answer because Clint walks in behind her and answers for himself. "Just fine Cap." His voice is rough and his eyes are red brimmed. Everyone looks at him. "You guys can continue." Clint looks down at his shoes. He didn't want to come back into the room. Natasha made him so they could finish debriefing.
Steve breaks the silence. "Fury, you knew who we were going against. You knew how it would affect Clint. Why would you do that?"
"I did it because Barton is the top agent I have. His past caught up with him, I cannot control that. And why are you asking me, Barton is free to answer questions now."
Clint tenses under everyone's gaze. His eyes stay at the ground.
"Clint, who was that? You have to tell us. It's better for us because it can help the team work together better." Steve intejects.
Clint looks up and locks eyes with Steve, then Natasha. It takes a couple tries to get started, his mouth opening then closing. But the words that come out are barely a whisper.
"That was my brother." Clint glances down as if he's ashamed of it. "He left when we were kids. I was left to fend for myself on the street at the age of 10." Flashes of them running away from the circus flash through Clint's mind.
Awkward silence ripples through the room. Until Tony speaks up. "I'm sorry I almost shot your brother."
Clint smiles at the classic Tony humor, giving a wet chuckle. "It's okay. It's not like you knew." Steve pats Clint on the shoulder, making him flinch slightly. "Thanks Clint."
Suddenly a phone starts ringing and Fury looks at his desk phone. THe team takes that as their cue to leave, which they do. All heading separate directions. Since it is already midnight, Clint decides to head back to his room.
…
It's been nine days and Clint can't sleep. He hasn't slept a wink since the battle. Has he tried? Certainly. Every time he blinks he sees Barney. Most of the time it's him and Barney fighting each other at the battle, and the look of regret and pain in Barney's eyes.
Clint can't escape it. No matter how hard he's tried. Every night he lies in bed awake trying to sleep. At one point, he thinks it was last night, he passed out for a little bit but was awoken by his own scream only an hour in.
Right now it is the tenth night, around 3 in the morning, and Clint is lying on his back staring at the ceiling. His bloodshot eyes blink rapidly to stop themselves from drying up. Before Clint even realizes what he's doing, he hops out of bed.
Clint sways for a second as the blood rushes to his head. Then he stumbles to the kitchen for a glass of water. Each step is dragging him more and more into unconsciousness.
Clint barely makes it to the common room, never mind the fridge. When he sees the light blue couch that sits in front of the TV.
He stumbles to it and just collapses on it. Face down.
…
Steve is the first to wake up. Walking to the kitchen for a bottle of water, getting ready for his morning run.
That's when he sees Clint on the couch. Just laying there. "Clint?" He asks. Steve taps the man's shoulder.
Clint jerks awake and hops up. Only to stumble and collapse into Steve's arms.
"Woah woah woah. Okay let me just place you down again. Are you okay?" Steve feels the panic set in.
"M'good. Jus' tired." Clint mumbles. His eyes are barely open and he's not looking directly at Steve.
Steve asks Jarvis to call Bruce down before responding to Clint. "That's okay. You should go to sleep then."
That's when Clint's eyes start to close. Steve is half convinced that he fell asleep until he flinches back awake again. Clint's eyes fly open and he shouts "No!"
"What is it?" Bruce asks groggily when he comes in. Jarvis just called him down into the common room because of a medical emergency and he didn't start jogging until he heard Barton's scream.
But as it is, apparently Natasha got the memo too and came in too. "I heard him shouting last night. Probably from a nightmare. I think that was his first time sleeping since the battle." She states solemnly. They all look to Clint with pity in their features.
Clint is currently curled in on himself and is only half conscious. He is hugging one of the pillows, more like clutching, and the bags under his eyes stand out on his pale skin.
"He should probably see someone." Bruce recommends to Natasha. That is what wakes Clint up.
"I'm not seein' no shrink…m'fine." He mutters. He is too tired for this, can't even open his mouth properly, never mind form words. "Clint, maybe it's for the best. How long has it been since you've had a real sleep?" Bruce asks him. Hoping he understands. "Hmm…" Clint's eyes close as he gets lost in thought. "Nine...Ten days?" Natasha whistles in amazement. That's when she leans in to talk to him.
"Clint. Go to sleep, you need it. I've got your back." She whispers. He trusts Natasha. So in a matter of minutes he relaxes against the pillow and his eyes close. Pushing himself deeper and deeper into unconsciousness, forgetting about the memories for the time being. He doesn't need a shrink, he's fine. It's not like he hasn't gone through this before.
Once things get settled, Steve goes for his run and Bruce attaches an IV to Clint so he's not as dehydrated.
The team is ridiculously protective of Clint and they will get back at his brother for ruining his childhood and making Clint into the secretive man he is today.
Shoutouts to Katie MacAlpine for commenting! Thanks so much it really makes my day.
Chapter 4 might come late, so sorry.