A/N: Now I've walked through hell for you. What's an adventurer to do? Love and be loved. Read… and review!

One Candle

[Winter/Spring 115 AG]

The flowers were dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatsoever about that. The vines were black as night, the sun had overheated them beyond saving without the right amount of water and care. Azula can see it clear as day. And Azula has become an expert in dead flowers, anymore. When she began digging them up she found the roots rotted out. This was systemic. It was beyond saving. She has to rip it out, burn it down, and start again.

'Rip it out, root and stem.' She recalls those words she once shared, and were shared with her in kind.

The sun bears down upon her. She holds her spade and stands above it. She hopes against hope that the shade will bring them back to life. She wants to groan but she's failed so much that this has become almost expected.

'Is there even a point? Why bother anymore?'

The flash in her mind of grey eyes. Azula reminds herself.

'Do the work.'

Most people would've given up long ago, but the Fire Lord had reason for hope. More reason than perhaps anyone alive. After what happened with Ursa, no one could really blame Zuko. His beloved mother 'rose from the dead' after 8 years of amnesiac separation. There is no man who would stand opposed to his will in the search for his lost father and sister.

There is, however, a woman willing to stand opposed. Fire Lady Mai believed it to be in his best interest, mentally and emotionally, to say 'goodbye.' She agreed with him that the search should continue for the former fire nation princess. To a certain extent, she too believed that until she saw the body herself there was no conceivable way that the girl was actually dead; but after nearly 16 months, she had seen the toll this was taking on her husband and father of their child. As such, with much discussion and consideration, Zuko had finally agreed to hold an empty-casket, honorary funeral service.

If only Mai knew the grief it would bring him just trying to let go of the memory of Azula.

It was almost as if the spirit of the Dragon Empress had embodied all those who Zuko interacted with to make this service happen. One last 'Agni Kai' from beyond the grave as Zuko faced almost insurmountable resistance. In short, he found that even when she was 'dead' she would not go quietly.

To begin with, Zuko's top military and religious aides staunchly opposed 'burying' her in the Garden of Tranquil Souls. While this was standard procedure for Royal Family members, both sides had qualms with this. The military powers were quick to point out her litany of terrorist-like attacks on the Fire Nation and Zuko's regime.

The Fire Sages rejected the idea on a technicality. Azula's body wasn't actually being buried, and the Fire Lord himself believed her to be very much alive. Therefore, giving her such a high sacrament, when she might not even be dead, would be unwise. What's more, they cautioned that giving an 'honorary' burial for the living anywhere in the Fire Nation could incur the wrath of Agni upon the Fire Lord, Fire Lady, and little baby Izumi.

When any burial in the Fire Nation came off the table, Zuko had reasoned that a burial in Republic City would be what Azula wanted anyway; to be buried somewhere that was her own. Finally, it made sense that the place where she 'died,' should also be where she was laid to rest. All of this had brought Ty Lee to this moment. Standing at the gate to a public cemetery in the Midtown section of Republic City. A soft scuffle of feet behind her tells her that someone has joined her. She doesn't turn around but just waits for them.

"Young Ty Lee!" An old man's voice speaks to her. "So you have decided to join us today."

Stepping beside her, Ty Lee finds Zuko's Uncle Iroh in her peripheral vision. She doesn't understand his question and responds as such.

"Why wouldn't I come today?"

"I wondered how you would say goodbye to someone still living?"

Ty Lee feels the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Forcing a laugh she asks, "Still living?"

"Of course," he says with a warm smile. "You have not let her go yet, have you? You still hold on to her memory. I can sense it in your spirit."

Ty Lee realizes what he is saying. More feet approach from behind. Ty Lee turns and sees two more individuals approaching. A very pregnant waterbending Master, Katara, and her husband, Aang. Iroh continues as they draw near, "Death is the greatest mystery of life, and my niece's death has left no clues to guide us. How do we mourn those who have 'only' been lost? How do we go on, when we do not know if they have gone on?"

The others come to a stop. Katara offers to the standing group, "Well, once this is done, I'm sure she'll go on to wherever Agni's from."

Ty Lee can hear the sympathy in her voice but she feels that it is masking something else. Ty Lee isn't sure what, but she thinks of a reply quickly. She looks away, back at the landscape of the cemetery. In the distance, at the top of a hill, she sees the set up. Staring off into the distance she replies, "Wherever she is, she's not with Agni."

Katara raises her eyebrows. Iroh frowns. Tilting his head ever so subtly, Aang asks, "You really believe that?"

Ty Lee sees the figment of the Fire Lord and Fire Lady standing beside each other with two other figures. She purses her lips.

"I know it." She says as she steps away from the group and onto the hallowed ground.

When Ty Lee pictured Azula's funeral, she imagined it differently. No, not in the Garden of Tranquil Souls. That ship had sailed long ago. For starters, if Azula was ever going to kick the bucket, she'd probably not leave a pretty corpse. She'd go down in a blaze of glory, for sure. Killing some great demon, or defeating some great tyrant. Freeing some girl, or girls, being held captive by a war lord. She'd have some ugly wounds that would need to be dressed up. Next, she would have demanded that lightning benders create a storm over her gravesite after going in the dirt. It would be a dark, overcast day, indeed. Finally, she would certainly not have Zuko overseeing the proceedings.

Zuko stands beside the Fire Sage, who is going through some inspirational readings. His hand is fidgeting with the folded paper he's holding. He repeatedly chews the inside of his cheek. He keeps shifting the weight of his feet. He looks every bit the part of regality in his all-white, billowy outfit. There is no lightning storm, nor rain, it isn't cloudy, not even overcast. The sun shines brightly upon the service. Agni has smiled upon them. Everyone in white, standing in the sun, saying 'goodbye' to Azula, the Dragon Empress, now nothing but a 'dearly departed.'

'Nothing like how I pictured it.' Ty Lee thinks.

Zuko steps forward when the time is right. His beloved wife gives him a curt nod of encouragement. He looks around at the people present. Ursa, Iroh, Aang, Katara, Mai, and Ty Lee. All eyes fall upon the Fire Lord. He unfolds his paper and scans the notes quickly.

"I'll try to be brief," he starts. "It's probably how she'd want it anyway."

No one chuckles but they all smile in acknowledgment.

He clears his throat. He announces loudly, "I believed in Azula."

There's a pause as he lets this comment sink in. "The last time I saw Azula I told her I thought she was doing better."

He takes another pause.

"That was nearly thirteen years ago."

A somberness overcomes the group.

"Despite us being 'enemies,' despite all that she did up until that point, and all that she would do, a part of me always believed in her. I wanted to understand her pain. I wanted to help hold it. I wanted to help her work through it, get her through to the other side like so many of you did for me."

He looks around at all the familiar faces.

"In our whole lives, all the people we know, it was only ever really the two of us that could understand what it meant to be Ozai's children. What that does to a person."

Ty Lee thinks about holding the woman as she sobbed like a child about her father.

"She just wanted him to love her. I know that. But he couldn't love anything but himself. And," his voice breaks. He holds back tears. "And I'm afraid that she died not even having that. Not even loving herself."

Ty Lee wishes she could share. She wants to tell him. She remains silent.

"I believed in Azula. There was goodness in her heart. There was a capacity for love, for great love."

Zuko doesn't know how right he is.

"She would've moved mountains and rivers for the people she cared about. Even at her lowest moment, she helped us bring mother home."

Ursa sobs and Iroh wraps an arm around her.

"I may have lost my sister, but I've gained a daughter. When Agni extinguishes one candle, he ignites a torch."

Ty Lee, knowing the truth, knowing it all, more than anyone else alive, feels the tears prickle at her eyes. She doesn't know why she cries. Azula is not dead. She is waiting for her. Hiding in plain sight. Yet she cries all the same.

"And I see so much of Azula in Izumi already. I believe that someday she will be a Fire Lord that Azula would be proud of. Strong. Fierce. A woman who fears no man."

He wipes the tears from his own eyes, accidentally wetting his notes with them. He stands tall and summons his strength. He clears his throat and then again to get it right.

"I believed in Azula," he says. "And I still believe in Azula."

He steps back, grabbing hold of Mai and letting the tears cascade. Aang and Katara remain dry- eyed. Katara appears pensive, while Aang wears a sad smile. Ursa nearly falls to her knees, Iroh keeping her steady. Ty Lee's vision blurs momentarily. She blinks back the tears. She agrees with Zuko.

'I still believe in Azula.'

A few hours later and everyone is unwinding at a small memorial service. Cactus juice has been flowing, laughs are loud, lights are low, and spirits are high. Ty Lee is careful to not get too inebriated, for fear of loose lips spoiling secret, double lives in the middle of the Earth Kingdom. Nonetheless, the conversation turns back once more to Azula, and her memory. The Avatar turns in his seat and looks at the Circus Freak.

"Tell us, Ty Lee," he says, getting her attention and everyone else's. "What did you think of Azula?"

"Me? Oh, not much."

"Bull shit," Katara calls out. She hasn't had a drop of cactus juice. "You always said that same line. To anyone who would listen. The Fire Nation's foremost scholar?"

"Chief intelligence officer?" Aang tries to help her, a little groggy of the memory himself.

"The world's foremost intelligence officer!" Zuko shouts.

"It's true," Mai says with a little smirk. "You did always seem to know what she was up to. Sometimes before she did it."

"Yeah, do you think she's dead?" Katara asks.

Ty Lee freezes.

"No, no, that's not what I asked," Aang interrupts. "I asked what she thought of her."

Zuko grows solemn waiting for a reply. Everyone turns to Ty Lee in silence. She stares at her drink. She spins it on the table, watching the liquid run around the rim. She collects her thoughts for a moment. She shares.

"I chased her my entire life. In the hallways of school, and in gardens at the palace. To beach houses, and bars. Through crowded streets, and to cliff sides. To the actual ends of the earth. Thinking of her. Obsessing over you. Wishing her dead, and fearing for her life."

She stops and thinks.

"Now?" She asks no one. "I'd give anything to be with her now."

The group blinks in acceptance. She gulps.

"I loved her. I love her. Despite everything that happened, all the destruction she caused in my life and in our world. I just know she would have tried to make it right."

She stares out into space. "It's like Zuko said. I believe in her."

Aang nods. He offers, "We'll pray for her."

"Do not pray for her." Ty Lee replies instantly.

Shocked, the group raises a collective eyebrow to this response. Ty Lee is full of conviction.

"If she is out there, if she's alive, she doesn't need your prayers. Save those for people who need them; people in need."

Once again Azula procrastinates her least favorite household chore: washing her dishes. She sits down at her table with a small glass of cactus juice, a candle, and grabs a fresh piece of parchment. She wets her quill in the black ink. It's been a long, laborious day. The weeds and the sun had nearly defeated her again. Perhaps now her special flower could bloom. In any case, there was a letter owed to an old friend.

She stares at the parchment and considers what she will say. What part of her soul will she impart this time in writing. She sits in silence. She stares at her drink. She spins it on the table, watching the liquid run around the rim. She collects her thoughts for a moment. She shares.

Dear Lin,

You think it's funny? I'm going crazy, working myself into exhaustion, trying to grow flowers, and you think it's funny? There's truly something wrong with you. In a few months I should have enough to pay off this home. I once thought my stay in Lanxi was just a holdover, but now I can see myself putting down roots. And today alone I spent my entire day in the garden, in the roots. I found rot and it went deep. It was almost too much for me, but I kept going. I kept finding reasons to keep digging.

Every single night the dreams drag me further down. It's a little different each time, but it never ends. Just like the weeds today. I kept going. I keep going. The dirt fills my lungs and suffocates me. I've been struggling for a long time now, Lin. I've been struggling with the idea of surviving. With my survival. What did I do? Why should I still be alive? I don't deserve it. I never should've made it out of Republic City. Why did you save me? Why did you show up that day? I didn't deserve it then. I don't deserve it now.

And yet.

Every. single. day. I thank Agni above, if he's really up there, that you were there. That you saved me from those woods. That you saved me from the city. That you saved me from myself, because without your 'three graves,' I would've gone straight into my own. I'd be dead three times over without you. And for those things I can never truly pay you back. But I'd like to try.

She's coming to visit the first week of summer. I'm planning a big surprise and would love an audience. Bring your wife and children. I've missed seeing them, and you.

Best,

Asuna

Azula folds the letter up and places it in an envelope. She puts it aside and will send it out in the morning. She waves her hand at the one candle she'd been using and bends away the flame, extinguishing the light. She retires to another sleepless night.

Out front of her home, in the luminous beams of the stars, the first moonflower springs to life.

A/N: This chapter's OST is "Graveyard" by Halsey.

Love always. Tyzula forever.

Notorious