24
Ianto knew she was coming and he settled on the smaller of the two thrones that the queen usually sat in, when it was not a father and son portrait sitting. He considered and then did something uncharacteristic for him but totally a 'Jack' thing to do.
He draped one leg over the arm, leaning back to… well… laze. Actually, ya know it felt quite liberating. He used to do this as a small child in his mothers own chair, even his Tadda's sometimes. Their thrones had seemed bigger but he knew it was his arse that was bigger. Something he knew Jack did not mind at all, why should he Right? He flicked the sides of his robes back so his legs and arse were on display. Why not.
The doors swung open as Gwen entered the hall, heading for the elevated staging area where the thrones sat with the heavy drapes either side. Gotta frame a shot ya know.
"You! You really think you're fucking King Dick, don't you!" she spat once she was near enough and in that moment he knew for certain that his was right. There it is. The whisper in the breeze.
"Really? I rather prefer King Ifan" Ianto said with a grin "Why… you think Dickie is good too? Do you like Dick Gwen. You know… I think I like Dick too. Shall I ask Jack if he prefers Dick? He might prefer it to me…"
"Disgusting piece of gutter trash" she snarled and he found himself fighting the grin forming. Instead he raised an eyebrow.
"Oh? Think you can get rid?"
"I had it all worked out" she waved her arms as she spoke, making him see her as a huge crow about to take off and fly out the window. Now he WAS smiling, unable to hide his mirth. This enraged her more "You fucking prick!"
"From a Dick to a prick… I sense a theme here" Ianto chortled. "Gwen… is this… I have heard of this. It is, isn't it? Penis envy?"
"With Lucia and Alice gone I had a clear run at him… he was faltering" she stomped a foot.
"Jack? But he was dying."
"Not HIM! I knew he was dying, who do you think organized that too. No… Gray. I had a clear shot at Gray and that fucking chair you are desecrating with your… your… degusting arsehole I am sure Jack uses like a ashtray!"
Ianto frowned as he canted his head "Gwen… if you think a man empties his pipe into another man's arsehole to… oh. I see. Someone might have used this as a euphemism and you… oh. Honey… a pipe is another word for a…"
"SHUT UP!" she screamed, totally spent now.
Ianto leaned his head back and chortled at the ceiling "although you know… a cigar is better."
She screamed with rage, and then hissed "You are to blame for all of this. I had it all sorted. Him gone. Her gone… the little bitch gone and then Gray was mine. How was I to know he would be so upset over his brother's pending demise that he would call off things with me!"
"And you had already paid the men to take Lucia and Alice… they were supposed to kill them then make it seem like marauders but they changed their minds?" Ianto asked.
"Yeah. Silly pricks thought they might ransom her back… then kill her at a later date. Like that would fly" she snorted, folding her arms now "Think you've got it all worked out don't you, ya fucking arsehole."
"And back to my arse. You know … you seem obsessed."
"I can still do it ya know. Kill you… I kill him. The little cow can be adopted by her uncle… he can still rule as her guardian since she will be too young." She sneered.
"Ah… but there is a small problem with that" Ianto finally swung in the seat to sit in the chair as one of regal blood would, changing before her eyes from a jokester to a handsome prince "The king and queen."
She stared at him.
"But… you had that sorted too… right? Come on Gwen. I met that one within the first few days of being here. I dispatched him the night before my bonding with Jack. They will never find his body… I fed it to the pigs. I did find the blade on him, strange to have a poisoned blade like that. Found it pretty enough to add to my collection. God, imagine my interest when Lucia showed me she had never seen it before. I knew than that it was not her trying to get me killed. Get Jack killed. Or his parents. No. I knew that another had designs' on this chair. Pity…. You misunderstood what and who I am. Gwen I am a throwback. Old Blood. Fae. Not just Elvish… FAE. I hear the whispers in the wind… I see the sparks in the air… smell the bullshit in the water. Oh Gwen… you have stirred up the shit good and proper and you need to know that I also know the cure for this… the only thing to renew… cleanse and refresh the well. For you cannot poison the Well of Life… not mine. It is endless… a spring. What cleanses it Gwen Hmmm? What do you think will quicken and renew the flame on my candle?"
She watched him stalk down the steps, his eyes gleaming as he leaned in close and as the dagger she had given her man, the dagger Ianto had taken from his body… the dagger Lucia and admired in his chambers… slid between her ribs he whispered to her the answer to the question he was asking.
"Blood Gwen. Blood in the water… cleanses all the shit away."