This is heavily inspired by a tiktok made by nenepicosschool_official about the phone guy seemingly seems so chill and laid back during his first phone call, but I also ended up kind of touching on some possible lore explanation. More explanation at the bottom, and I know this fic is mostly game dialogue. I just liked the tiktok and my possible reasoning for stuff related to the phone guy.
"Alright dude. Have fun with the creep circus," his coworker, one of the cooks, told him. PG chuckled.
"I always do!" he replied cheerfully.
"I dunno how you're so chipper," another replied. She was another one of the cooks. She had her backpack on and her keys ready. "Those animatronics creep me out. I feel like they watch me when I sweep the main floor. And knowing they roam sometimes at night? How does it not scare you, Patrick?" She shuddered. PG shrugged.
"Just doesn't," he replied. "They tend to leave me alone without much issues, once you get the hang of their quirks and programming. It's overall a pretty easy gig."
"Well, I'm glad they're finally moving you to parts and services. You're the only one that seems to know how those walking pieces of scrap metal work. Closing is creepy enough," the girl complained. She shivered again. "Actually I'm gonna go and stop hanging around. I hate this place. I'm hoping another restaurant will hire me soon."
"Yeah yeah, get the fuck outta here you crazy kids," PG lightly teased, ushering his friends out with a wave of his hand.
"Joke's on you," the guy chuckled as he and the other shuffled out of the door. "That's your one curse word for the shift, PG-13. Whatcha gonna say when Cannibal Chica tries to eat you like a cupcake?"
"I'll just strip off the cupcake wrapper for her to eat and run," PG joked. The dude snorted. The girl gave her final wave.
"Stay safe, PG!" she told him.
PG watched as they both got in their separate cars, making sure they left before he closed and locked the main doors.
Finally, he was alone. PG gave a cheerful whistle as he did his walkdown of the place to double check that no guests had left. Which mostly meant lazily shining the flashlight in each room to scan for any kids.
He entered the main stage area, and he shot the main trio of animatronics a smile. She was right. They were kinda creepy. But to him, they were always creepy in a charming sort of way. It was a bit morbid, but hey. He loved horror movies and crime shows. And those things really weren't that scary once you understood the quirks of their bugs.
"Hey Bon. Fred, Chica," he greeted them all warmly, without fear. They of course stayed still. They never really moved much while the employees closed, since the people coming in and out of the room regularly enough to sweep and take trash out seemed to make the nitpicky program, which barely made the animatronics run to begin with, content with where they were.
PG reached out to give Bonnie an affectionate pat on her face, and Chica her beak and always saved Freddy's nose for last.
"You know where I'll be," he spoke to them like he always did. "I don't need any company though or a cupcake. Feel free to entertain yourselves as usual."
He slipped to the other area to check on Foxy. The curtain still hung, and he lifted up the curtain to see the closed attraction.
"Hey Fox," he greeted warmly. Foxy was always his favorite. "You hanging in there?" Literally, as Foxy's jaw and arm were limply hanging off. "I know it sucks, man. Parts and Service will get you back up running soon. I'll actually be with them next week helping you out. Which means I'll be able to be with you guys even more, get you all fixed u
Foxy, of course, didn't move. He stayed in his default position, unmoving and silent. PG reached out to softly pet the broken jaw with a single finger.
"And don't worry," he assured him. "I'll actually give you a good cleaning too. After some repairs, I'll make sure that you all get taken care of really well. Baths, new paint, wash your pirate pants. The whole nine yards. Cause no offense, but y'all stink. Bad."
Foxy didn't move. PG didn't expect him to, even though he felt an odd, random sense of danger. He dropped the curtain and lazily strolled back to his office. First order of business was to switch the fan on. It was fine now, but the building would quickly get hot and humid. Double check all the cameras that nobody was in the building. Nobody but him and the gang. And now, it was time to sit back and relax.
PG sighed, plopping into the seat. He used his foot to take his boots off, and he leaned back to put his feet up on the desk. It was his last week of the easy life, and it made him a little sad. But next week was better pay and more rewarding work.
He reached for his backpack, opening it and pulling out some loot he "borrowed" from his "sister" to set on his desk. Though he'd never admit that it was his own that his sister got him so that he'd stop using hers.
He opened one of the containers, getting a small fingerful of face mask to start applying to his skin. God, when was he going to be able to do this again in private? His roommates and friends would never let him live it down if they knew or saw the stuff in his bathroom. Well, with a promotion came a raise, and maybe in a few months he could just have his own roommates-free apartment…
And speaking of promotion…
While he knew the animatronics were pretty much harmless, a new guy was definitely going to be spooked knowing that they walked around and their weird programming flaws that liked to make them try to enter the room. Well, current programming flaws. Next week, it'd be one of the first of many bug fixes he planned on addressing.
The company also didn't know the job like he did. They didn't really understand the animatronics or their weird quirks or much about what to do during the night. And the guards never stuck around long enough to explain the issues or could understand why some of their attempts to work it around "fixed" it and other times it didn't.
PG looked at his bag as he finished putting his mask on. He closed the container, grabbing the bag. He put the mask back in and pulled out a phone recorder he was given when he first was informed of his promotion.
The company had asked him to record a message for the new guard, to explain the duties and give the new guy the basic rundown as well as the legal information and disclaimers to play for him to help him get used to the first week on the job. Which was in the employee hired forms, but the company liked to triple cover their bases.
He set it down on the desk, and it took a moment for him to connect it to the phone to record. In all his time working there, he had never gotten a phone call, so PG wasn't worried about interrupting any calls.
He grabbed his cuticle pushers and cutters, leaning back in his seat once more. With his foot, he pressed the record button.
"Hello, hello?" God did this old recorder even work anymore. He nudged it with his foot and stared hard. The recording light was on, so he guessed it was. "Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night." As he spoke, he pushed his cuticles up before trimming them. "Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact."
He was actually gonna miss it. He was going to miss it more than he expected. He already kinda missed it. It was bitter sweet.
"So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay?"
Oh wait, he should start with the company stuff. PG tucked the nail tools in his breast pocket before leaning to open a drawer. Inside was the introductory greetings he was given last week and promptly never looked at until just now."
"Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, 'Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced.'" God, he hated the legal nonsense. They were spooky and fear-mongering for no reason. In all his time here, he had never had an issue.
"Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about."
He half tossed the papers back onto the top of the desk, and a quick glance to his right later, he used his foot to lazily close the door. He didn't need the light to know that Bonnie was hanging out near the door. He pulled the tools back out of his pocket, adjusting the phone to be cradled between his shoulder and ear.
"Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No." Even though he was recording a message, he lightly waved the tool around as he spoke as if the new guy was gonna be able to see him. "If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children, and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay."
Of course he already had a mental shopping list of cleaning supplies he'd need to give said animatronics a bath. At this point, it was easy to smell them before seeing them, whether the smell was strongly of pizza and cake, neglected metal or the air freshener his coworkers doused them in to prevent the previous two dmells. Said air freshener was partly why he knew Bonnie was there, and that Bonnie had just left. He pushed the door button, again with his foot, to open the door.
"So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh... Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long." He wished that he was already able to be in parts and services so he could better understand and explain but also fix the seemingly endless string of bugs. "Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?"
PG knew what caused that issue. It wasn't that hard to figure out if you had any good computer or programming skills, which the animatronic builders clearly didn't. It only took a week of brainstorming during the long, unproductive shifts. But it took forever to get a chance to pitch the whole thing to the higher ups. Worth it though. And once he fixed the bug, present in all of the animatronics, they could finally freeroam again during the day too.
But he was getting sidetracked. And it was time to take his mask off. He grabbed a washcloth that he kept in his bag, and he wet it with his bottle of water, slowly rubbing his mask off.
"Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person," he explained. Yet another issue he had he had quickly figured out. It was the main reason he was the longest lasting security guard according to the higher ups. "They'll pr- they'll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on." Obviously, as during the hours of midnight and six in the morning, nobody programmed them to recognize any guests then. Something about saving memory. "Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to...forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area."
Which he only truly realized when he was given that shot to open up the beloved franchise robots. It was fascinating how high tech they were, and it was frustrating how nobody but him seemed to really get why or how they worked outside of the 'just try whatever till something lights up' methodology the current parts and service team had adopted.
"So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh."
Morbid, but important and true. He replaced his tools with a file to start lighting filing his nails. He could hear and smell Chica, and he used his foot to close her door.
"Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up." Nobody sure as hell told him anyway. "But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night."
He hung up, going ahead and slapping the left door's button as he could smell Bonnie once more.
PG settled into his chair again, opening another drawer. In this one, he kept a print out of the code that parts and service allowed him to have. He had already gone through some of the endless pages and made corrections that he would implement next week. For the rest of the night, he continued to comb through it while occasionally blocking the animatronics out.
Basically, if you didn't quite get it: the idea that the phone guy lasted so much longer than other guards being because he cared for the animatronics as well understood their faulty programming, and they turned on him for leaving them for parts and services, as well as Mike Schmit later finding his theorized code changes in his desk and implementing them, which later gets him fired. If people enjoy this, I'm open to doing more and stretching the concept into more, though right now I'm fairly sure people are already gonna dislike this for it being mostly game dialogue. Oh well.