Chapter 3: Espionage
It was a Saturday when Dipper heard the rumble of the Impala trundle down the street. Matt and Jared were at a football game, as were the rest of their fellow fosters-the twins been allowed to stay at home when Mabel claimed they had to study for a history test (as the twins had placed into a higher course than either Jared or Matt and used it as an opportunity). In reality, the test had been on Friday, but any excuse they could make to stay away from the others was a positive. Mrs. Saunders was also at home, but she was busy in her "deep meditation" in the basement study, which meant that the twins had the upper two floors to themselves as long as they weren't too loud. At the sound of the car Dipper moved over toward the window and looked out onto the street.
A black sedan stopped at the empty house across the street-The one where Matt says some lady went nuts and killed her husband, which I know has to be total bull made up to try and freak me out-and two men stepped out. The one that stepped out of the driver's side was a bit shorter-not that either man was short-and he looked a bit like Agent Trigger. He had light brown hair in a close cut, and was wearing a jacket over a flannel top and jeans. The other man was taller and leaner, and was also wearing a plaid shirt and jeans. They looked like they were discussing something. After a minute the trunk opened and Dipper saw all sorts of weird looking weapons. The shorter man closed it and was holding a small device. Is that an EMF detector? Maybe there really was a murder next door.
Immediately Dipper wanted to find out what these two strange men were doing. He grabbed the journals and crammed them in his backpack, then scampered out of his shared room, tripping over an errant football cleat as he did so. He bounded down the stairs two at a time, and saw Mabel tucked into a nook next to the pantry, stitching up one of her stuffed animals.
"Hey, what are you doing down here?" He asked, glancing at the stuffed panda that had a half-reattached arm.
"Trying to fix Mr. Domino's arm, Nancy tossed him down the laundry shoot and he got caught halfway." Mabel held up her handiwork. The panda's arm was mostly reattached, and a small piece of teal fabric had been used to fix a spot where the arm had been caught, covering a jagged hole in the fabric.
Dipper frowned, "Sorry. I didn't know."
Mabel shrugged, "You couldn't've done anything anyway, she's bigger than us. At least Mr. Domino's still mostly intact."
Dipper sighed, "Hey, um, I saw these guys across the street. I think one of them had an EMF detector."
Mabel tilted her head. "A what defector?"
"An EMF detector. It's used to find evidence of spirits and other supernatural stuff."
"Dipper, why would two guys randomly show up across the street to look for ghosts?" Mabel looked down at her sewing. "We aren't in Gravity Falls anymore, nothing like that happens here."
"Because the house over there had a murder, I think… They're probably trying to talk to the ghost." Dipper explained.
"Wait, you can use these EMF things to talk to ghosts?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure." Dipper nodded, trying to glance through the front window to see if the men were still there. "Either that, or find them."
"So, we could use it to talk to mom and dad?" Mabel asked, looking up at her brother.
"Maybe, I don't know…" Dipper said, "I'm not really sure how they work…" Mom and dad would never get me one because they were too expensive, and Ford-if he had one-never showed me it. I only read about it in the journal, so I'm not sure all of what they do.
"Do you think they'd let us borrow it?" Mabel asked, standing up and putting Mr. Domino on the table beside her sewing supplies.
Dipper shrugged, "I don't know. But these guys are probably professional supernatural researchers, so we can't just barge in on them. We have to let them do their work, then maybe ask them."
"But we dealt with ghosts two months ago at that convenience store. Plus the giant bats, and those dinosaurs, and the weird gnomes who wanted to marry me, and-"
Dipper cut her off, "Yes, but these guys look like they know what they're doing. We'll let them do their stuff, then ask if we can borrow it when they're done. We don't want to interrupt them; they've got important work to do." Besides, I've always wanted to see how the pros do it in person. "Come on, I don't want to lose sight of them."
He dragged Mabel across the living room and out through the front door. They crept across the overly manicured lawn and darted across the street. They ducked behind the Impala, then skittered over toward the front porch of the empty house. After a minute Dipper signaled Mabel to follow him and the two crawled along the side of the house until they got to a window that Dipper was pretty sure would be the dining room.
"Come on, let's look through the window and see if they're in there." Dipper whispered as he pointed upward. Mabel nodded in agreement. Dipper poked his head up and saw the two men walking around. Mabel followed suit, the two peeking over the windowsill into the house.
"Nothing over here, Dean." The taller man said.
"Nothing upstairs either." The shorter man, who I guess is named Dean, replied, "So, it's not a ghostly possession. Maybe demonic influence? Or do you think cursed ground?"
"I don't think cursed ground; wouldn't it affect more than just this house if there was a curse?" The taller one responded, tucking something into his pocket.
"Not sure, maybe we can do some digging and see what exactly was here before the Stepfords came in and built this ticky-tacky paradise."
Sam was about to say something when he caught a flash of color in the window. He frowned for a moment before he signaled to Dean. "Hey, I think there's someone watching us out there."
"Shit! He saw us!" Dipper hissed as the two ducked down under the window. "Abort! Come on, we've gotta go."
Before the two could get away the front door opened and the two men were standing in front of the twins. The shorter man crossed his arms across his chest while the taller one stood with his arms at his side, his one eyebrow raised. "Hey, what are you kids up to? This is an active crime scene." The two men flipped out their badges.
The twins froze with fear. Shit! If we get in trouble with the cops we're toast! Dipper desperately tried to rack his brain for an excuse, when suddenly Mabel spoke, "Hey! Your ID is like Grunkle Stan's!"
Dean blinked, "What?" What or who the fuck is a Grunkle Stan?
Dipper looked at the ID for a minute, then smiled. "Hey, they are!"
"I'm sorry, can you please explain?" Sam asked, confused as to what exactly the children meant.
"Our Great Uncle Stan, he had us make fake IDs this summer-in addition to all the counterfeit cash we had confiscated." Dipper explained, as the two men exchanged a series of rapid, somewhat panicked glances.
"Uh…" Dean panicked, Holy shit. How did these kids spot it so fast?
"You guys did a pretty good job, but you messed up the California holographic placement, plus that isn't how you spell 'Fresno' it has an s not a z." Mabel commented. "Plus you didn't use enough glitter."
"Mabel, real IDs don't have glitter." Dipper corrected.
"They should."
"Don't worry; we know what you guys are." Dipper reassured them.
"And what would that be?" Sam asked, hoping that the kids had some sort of explanation he could latch onto.
"You guys are professional supernatural investigators!" Dipper grinned. The brothers both blanched for a moment before Dean coughed and Sam swallowed, attempting to maintain their composure.
"Yeah, Dipper's a huge nerd for all supernatural stuff and he saw your ENF defectors and knew what you guys were." Mabel added, watching her brother blush.
"EMF detector, Mabel." He muttered in correction, trying to keep his cool.
Oh, fuck. "Look, kids, we aren't 'supernatural investigators'. We're with the FBI; we're looking into the murder here to just make sure all the facts are straightened out." Sam explained.
"No, that thing you have in your pocket is an EMF detector. You can use it to detect ghosts. I read about it." Dipper reached into his backpack and pulled out a journal, flipping to a well marked page. "See, right here. Yours looks almost exactly like the picture."
Dean glanced at Sam, unsure of what to say.
"We get it, you guys have to use secret identities. Our Grunkle Stan had to when he was working on building the portal to get our other Grunkle Ford. But now they're both here-well, not here, I think they're somewhere in the ocean." Mable commented.
Dean sighed, "Okay, yes, we are supernatural investigators. Can you kids promise to keep that a secret?"
"Sure." The twins nodded.
"It isn't the first time we've dealt with ghosts anyway; we're used to them, I can get Dipper's lamby costume if you want the help." Mabel added.
Dipper immediately turned bright red. "Mabel!"
"You two are a bit young to be involved with ghosts, maybe just stick to reading about them." Sam said, concerned about the two getting ideas from the book.
"We already fought two of them at this old convenience store, plus all those weird things Bill summoned-or were those demons?, and those zombies you brought back to life at that party." She nudged Dipper, "Wait, are zombies a type of ghost? I mean, they're both dead, right?"
"Wait, you raised the dead? And fought demons?" Dean asked, flabbergasted at what he was hearing.
"It was one time!" Dipper shouted, clearly knowing that he'd never live down the fact that he'd raised the dead. "But yeah, we fought this demon called Bill when he started this 'weirdpocalypse' in town and unleashed these things that turned people to stone or drove them crazy, or sometimes both. The time police tried to stop him, but that didn't work, so eventually we tricked him into invading my uncle's mind and wiping his memory. But don't worry; he has his memory back now. Bill also took over my body for a bit too, which was…disturbing…" Dipper said, trying to push all the memories away.
Sam and Dean both blinked, Holy shit. "So, wait, are you two hunters' kids?" Sam asked, I mean, with the journal and the crazy shit they just described…
"No, our dad doesn't hunt, he just watches birds. Or, I guess he watched birds." Dipper said, correcting himself, looking glum at the change in tense.
Dean squinted, trying to understand everything so far, "So, okay, let me see if I understand everything. You two aren't part of a family that hunts supernatural stuff normally."
"No." Dipper and Mabel shook their heads. "Only our Grunkle Ford did, and when he went missing in the portal our Grunkle Stan was forced to." Mabel began.
"But we didn't meet them until this summer, before then we never had any supernatural stuff happen to us." Dipper added.
"So what about the book?" Dean asked.
"It's our Grunkle Ford's journal, he had three. He wrote down all the stuff happening in Gravity Falls and made notes about them." Dipper replied.
"And your parents are okay with all the stuff that happened to you over the summer?" Sam asked, surprised that someone else had a family almost as crazy as theirs.
"Um, we don't know." Dipper muttered.
"You don't know? You didn't tell them?"
"We can't tell them. Our parents died in a car accident while we were at our Grunkle Stan's."
"Oh, I… I'm sorry." Sam stuttered.
"It's fine." Dipper muttered, used to the reaction. He saw a blue minivan pulling onto the street. "We have to go; our foster family's arriving back from a football game." He looked at his sister, "Come on Mabel, let's go, we don't want to get in trouble again."
Thirty seconds later the two were back inside the house across the street.
"Huh, interesting kids." Dean commented.
"Yeah…" Sam replied.
"You think they really won't tell anyone?" Dean asked, glancing at the other people coming out of the minivan.
"I think we can trust them." Sam paused, "They seem like good kids."