Hello again guys! I'm sorry for the delay in the chapter, I had vacations for a whole week, went to San Francisco and New York with my GF and had a blast! Hope i can visit both cities again in the future.
So this chapter is not like the others, this one is full of dialog and interactions I believe are important before advancing the plot. So it's kind of a filler episode, but there are many things mentioned in this one that are critical to the storyline so let's not think of it as a filler.
I'm also trying to include a bit more comedic interactions between characters, let me know what you think of it.
Chapter 3. The aftermath
NERV Hospital Ward, Shinji's POV
It's kind of amazing that even though I have a super powerful body, I still end up in the hospital after piloting EVA. Now sitting up in the bed inside one of NERV medical ward rooms, I can't help but laugh a little inside my head, 'At least I didn't pass out this time' I thought to myself, and unable to contain it any longer a small laugh escapes my lips, surprising everyone present in the room, except for Ritsuko who just watches me unamused. Probably thinking how will I get out of this situation without speaking.
"What are you laughing at idiot?" Says my red headed friend, looking at me with a serious look, clearly not finding anything remotely funny to laugh at in our current situation.
"Nothing, it's just that after all these years, I still end up in one of these rooms after piloting. It must be destiny". I said, now starting to laugh more loudly before I hiss in pain because of my fractured ribs as Ritsuko said after reviewing my condition.
"Before we start with the questions, now that Rits has finished her evaluation of Shinji's condition. I want to say I'm glad every one of you came out okay of that skirmish with the alien" Said Misato, giving us a heartwarming smile. "And I want to formally congratulate Suzuhara, for his incredible performance today, you saved your teammates lives don't forget that Pilot"
"Yes ma'am, thank you ma'am!" answered Toji, giving our Commander a salute.
"So, what can you tell us about how Shinji's ribs got fractured Dr. Akagi?" asked Misato, signifying that its debriefing time.
"Honestly, the MAGI weren't able to identify anything strong enough in the collision of the robot's punch with Unit-10 to create a shockwave that would fracture our pilot's ribs. So, I don't really have an answer to your question Commander" said Ritsuko, now looking at me intently, as if waiting for me to give an explanation, but I don't really know how to explain it to her.
"That is because that punch did not have the objective of powering through the EVA's defenses" came in Rei, surprising everyone with her intervention and at the same time making us all turn to look at her.
"Isn't that right, Nagisa-kun?" she added, now looking towards the wall on the left side of the bed I was sitting in, prompting me to look behind and effectively seeing Kaworu standing there, looking at me with an apologetic face.
"What do you mean by Nagisa-kun, Rei? Asked Misato, now somewhat alarmed that my sister was talking to an imaginary person
"You can see him? I asked in an unsure tone, somehow afraid of her answer
"See who? What are you two siblings talking about?!" intervened Asuka in clear discomfort at not understanding what was happening
"I have always been able to" answered Rei in her monotone voice
I was left speechless, does this mean Rei knew about me all along? Why did she never say something? Why did Kaworu never say something to me neither? Now I have to explain everything to everyone in this room? Shit. I am not mentally prepared for this, I know I was thinking of telling Misato and Asuka but this is different, an entirely different setting and circumstances and I haven't even rehearsed what I'm going to tell them. Add Hikari and Toji to that list also, I wish I had fainted from the blow of the alien, maybe I would have more time to think about what to say.
"Umm… guys" I say, trying to gain everybody's attention
"There are a few things you should know about me"
"We're listening" said Asuka, looking at me with a scowl in her face, making me shiver a bit at her contained rage that I could clearly see in her eyes.
"I don't really know how to go about this, but… let's just say that after I came back from Third Impact I was no longer human, even though it's actually more complicated than that."
"What do you mean by no longer human Shinji?" asked Misato, now more confused than before
"His molecular structure is a fusion between an Angel and a human" intervened Ritsuko shifting the attention of everybody from me to her.
"You knew about this?!" Exclaimed Misato "And you kept it a secret from me?! Why?"
"Let's say me and Shinji came to an agreement, and decided to keep his secret, although I don't know what he and Rei are talking about some Nagisa fellow" she answered, unfazed by Misato's outburst
"So Shinji is half human half angel?" asked Asuka
"Not exactly" replied the Doctor
"And what exactly does this means then?" added the Commander
"Well, he has superhuman capabilities now for instance"
"Superhuman capabilities as in superpowers?" came Toji, having been silent since I started speaking and that's the only questions he has. I would be surprised, had it been anyone else who asked that.
"You could say that, he certainly has more strength than your average human, however I haven't tested how much strength he has. Actually I haven't tested his capabilities in any way, so I don't really know the extent of his powers"
"That doesn't matter right know! I yell, growing tired of their blabbering about me and what I can do right now. "What matters is, I'm not exactly a human, and I have something akin an imaginary friend, but real. You guys just can't see him" the last part I added somewhat embarrassed, I could have probably worded that much better.
"Great, Baka Shinji came back schizophrenic also" added Asuka not amused
"He is not schizophrenic; I can also see Nagisa-kun" argued Rei, which did not help the situation at all
"Let's say you are not schizophrenic then… Why is this important to know how you fractured your ribs from such a strike?" asked Asuka, clearly tired of how sidetracked we were from the main point.
"Well, Kaworu explained to me why my ribs are fractured, but I don't exactly understand him. He said that the robot damaged my soul with that attack, and because my body is the container of my soul it assimilated the damage as fractured ribs. He says I should recover in a couple of days at least" I repeated what he told me while Ritsuko was running her tests on me.
"Magnificent, more things that don't make sense" said Asuka in a tired tone. "I think we should postpone this debriefing Misato, it's really late in the night and at the rhythm we're going, we won't get anywhere"
"Easy for you to say, me and Rits will have to stay up all night analyzing the results of today's battle. However, you make a good point, we will continue this tomorrow" said Misato, dismissing all of us to our homes. While everyone was walking out of the hospital room and I was getting up to follow them Misato stopped me.
"You better find a way to explain everything to us by tomorrow, alright?" she told me, quite serious and somewhat angry. If I had to guess why, finding out me and Ritsuko have been keeping this monumental secret for six years might be enough for her to be a little angry.
"Yes ma'am"
Arriving at Misato's apartment, Shinji's POV
"I'm sorry I never told you about Ayanami-san" said Kaworu, breaking the awkward silence between us in the elevator
"I never thought you would hide things from me, and something like that makes it even worse" I replied, clearly upset about the recent turn of events
"Well, she made me promise to not tell you, said she didn't want you to worry about what she might think of you"
"Why choose to tell me now then? And in front of everybody no less" I said, now I'm working my brain thinking of how I'm going to explain six years of understanding myself and the possible implications I have with this new threat that appeared tonight. Argh, I'm getting stressed out and I feel a headache incoming.
"That is something you should ask her, you know Ayanami-san is… special when it comes to her motivations" added my silver haired companion, now smiling at me like he always does, but right now I find it extremely irritating.
"And wipe that smile of your face, I'm still angry at you. You're lucky we are technically best friends" I said, finishing our dialog just in time the elevator reached our floor.
Now I have to face a certain red headed roommate and her wrath, great. I'm contemplating not entering the apartment and staying on the roof until she goes to bed. But that would be running away and probably would upset her even more, so I make up my mind and head inside our apartment. And just how I was expecting, she's sitting on the kitchen table apparently scrolling through her phone while waiting for something or someone, and I guess that someone is me.
"I'm home" I say, as I start to leave my shoes in the entrance, she turns to look at me evaluating whether to respond by saying Welcome home or just go straight to the point.
"We need to talk"
And I guess it's the latter. Well there's no escaping her when she gets like this, so let's just pull the knife out and be done with it, I approached the table and proceeded to take a seat across from her.
"Yeah, I suspected you were waiting for me" I replied
"Congratulations, you're not as stupid as I once thought" she said, clearly not amused by my attempt in being casual about it
"Well, go ahead and ask me what you want to know, no use hiding anything now"
"Why?" she just said, looking straight into my eyes as if she was trying to read my thoughts, but at the same time trying to convey all the emotions she was feeling right now.
"Why what?" I answered. I knew perfectly well what she was asking, but I needed a little bit more time, so I can properly formulate how I'm going to answer that specific question.
"Wondergirl knew about you, even that fake blonde Akagi knew about you. Why didn't I?"
"I never told Rei, I don't know how she knew about me, I was more surprised than you about that believe me. And Ritsuko found out because of the first medical exam they made us after Third Impact, I just strong armed her to not tell anyone about me" I replied, fiddling with my fingers, looking at her was becoming extremely difficult at the moment.
"Strong armed? How could you strong arm her?" She asked in a somewhat surprised tone
"I said I would break her neck if she were to tell anyone about me"
"And she believed you?" she said mockingly, clearly not believing me making such threats.
"Well, I made it believable, you can ask her if you want"
"Right"
"Regarding you… I was afraid"
"You were afraid? Of what exactly? Apparently, you're superhuman now so I can't exactly hurt you" she said
"Of you hating me… After I came back I… I was disgusted at myself, and I couldn't handle the thought of you being more disgusted by me, after all I had done to you. Our existence was solely for the purpose of destroying the Angels, and I went and became just that. I would rather you hate me for me being cowardly, or a liar, or a pervert. But I… even now I just can't handle thinking that, when you see me, you see an abomination, something that shouldn't exist." I explain, still not looking up to face her, afraid of how she might be looking at me now.
SMACK!
Okay, I kind of deserved that
SMACK! SMACK!
"YOU FUCKING MORON!" she yelled at me
"You dare say all that bullshit about you being afraid, and not even have the balls to look at me in the eyes! Who do you think you are to take away my right to decide whether I find you disgusting or not?! I could care less that you're some kind of mutant, and back then I didn't care either!
"Asuka, please calm down"
"SHUT UP! You know what you did to me? I came back from that horrible place where everyone was one and the same, because I wanted to feel the warmth of another person, I wanted to feel what it was like to be loved by another because of who I was, I wanted to understand myself and I was willing to try to understand the others. And so I made the choice to come back, to a world where I knew only you remained, because I wanted to love you for you and you to love me for me" at this moment I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was on the verge of tears of frustration, and this made me finally stand up and look at her.
"Asuka-"
"You were afraid… You think I wasn't afraid?! I was so afraid to open up to you that sometimes I stayed up all night debating whether or not to keep my promise to myself, I was so afraid you would look at me disgusted by the kind of girl I was, but I swallowed my fears and completely crashed myself onto you, if it didn't work in the end I could have said I tried."
"It was just that one lie! I shared everything with you too in those times! This was the only thing I kept from you" I tried defending myself, in an attempt to calm her down and assure her that I wasn't completely dishonest.
"It wasn't just one lie Shinji, yeah maybe this is the thing you refused to tell me, but you lied to me every day when I asked you what was wrong, you knew I could tell you were lying to me, yet you kept spitting bullshit to my face. You know how that feels? I stopped trusting you, stopped trusting your words, your I love you's didn't have the same meaning anymore, I felt as though my efforts were worth shit, that I wasn't worthy of your honesty and that you were lying all along about loving me because of who I was" She started to tone her voice down, apparently calming down
"Asuka, I never lied about those things" I said, and stepped forward to put my hands on her shoulders to comfort her a little, but she quickly pushed my hands away.
"Don't touch me, you don't get to do that right now. It was my decision to make, and you robbed me of that choice, you broke my heart by filling my head with expectations you were never planning to meet. Don't expect me to forget everything by just coming clean right now" she said, turning her back to me and starting to walk to her room.
"Asuka, you don't understand-"
"Oh I do understand, I just think your reasons are bullshit" and with that she opened the door to her room and went inside, leaving me standing beside the table looking at her retreating back. Argh FUCK! Why did this turn out so fucking badly?! I need to get out of this apartment and take some fresh air, I'm about to burst.
I slam my fist in the kitchen table in frustration without controlling my strength and end up destroying the whole table, leaving a mess of wood chunks in the floor and wincing in pain, I had forgotten about my fractured ribs. Fuck, I need to leave before I break anything else. Sadly, the door met the same fate as the poor kitchen table, I pulled the door too fast and it unhinged from the frame, sending bolts and pieces of wood flying across the entrance. Just great, I'm losing control of myself now. I let the door (or what remains of it) lying on the floor just outside the apartment, now I'm getting an earful from Misato too for thrashing the apartment like a psychopath. I fly towards the roof of the building and lie face up on the floor, staring at the stars. I'm so angry at myself for how everything turned out that I want to gouge my eyes out and punch my face several times, they would just regenerate again anyways.
"Now what?" I say to the nothingness of space
The next morning. Asuka's POV
"Stop fidgeting Shinji, I'm trying to sleep" I said to him over my shoulder while stroking his arm that was resting on top of my stomach, it seems he's restless tonight
"Sorry I'm just having trouble putting some thoughts to sleep" he answered in a low voice
I turn to face him, and I catch him averting his eyes from mine with a slight blush on his cheeks. "Let's talk about it then" I said, now softly stroking his cheek with my left hand and forcing him to look at me.
"It's just, I'm scared to hurt you again or getting hurt myself, I don't know how to be this close to someone and I fear I might fail your expectations" he said, putting his hand on top of mine in his face, as if not wanting me to extract it from there.
"We'll hurt each other because that's how we'll learn about one another, you don't have to be afraid of that. I just want us to be transparent, I don't want to be alone anymore" I assured him, and this seemed to calm him down a little.
"You're the most beautiful girl in the world" he said to me, looking straight into my eyes trying to convey his feelings, the deep blush that formed in my cheeks in response to his compliment made me turn my face to the side, trying and failing to hide the effect he just had in me.
"I'm the only girl in the world right now, Baka"
"I've always thought that, ever since that day in Over the Rainbow"
I watched him with wide eyes now, the small light from the lamp in our room gracing him with a chance to look at my flushed expression.
"You're blabbering nonsense now, go to sleep Shinji" I responded, and proceeded to pull his face towards mine, giving him short goodnight kiss on the lips, which he returned and surprisingly strengthened his grip on my waist, pulling me towards him to continue the kiss. We broke the kiss shortly after and I turned around to resume our previous sleeping position
"Yes ma'am"
I slowly open my eyes to gaze at the ceiling of my room, not wanting to move a muscle, not even to shut the damn alarm off. After contemplating whether I should get up from bed for about 5 minutes, I glance at the clock in my nightstand to my left and it says 9:00 PM. Great, I have a morning lecture at 10 o' clock and from the looks of it I'll be late. I turn off the damn alarm off and sit up in my bed, rubbing my eyes off my sleep and thinking about the dream I just had. It was about my time with Shinji after Third Impact, shortly before he became more withdrawn, and we used to sleep in the same bed. Yesterday's words began echoing in my mind 'Asuka, I never lied about those things' but before entertaining the implications his words may have had I quickly stand up from the bed and grab my change of clothes. Heading out of my room and walking towards the bathroom, I didn't hear the usual "Good Morning Asuka" Shinji always says, identifying this I turn around and peek from the hall to the kitchen.
I can see that he cleaned up the mess from yesterday, leaving no traces of the table behind, however I don't see him working the kitchen like usual. 'That moron, probably thought I would rather not see him today and left early' thinking nothing of it I resume my walk to the bathroom and start my morning routine of washing up and getting ready for university.
After I finish getting ready, deciding myself for a dark blue pleated skirt around knee length, a plain white long-sleeved shirt, black high socks, and a pair of black flats. I stroll to the kitchen and see my breakfast ready, along with a bento lunchbox and a note, probably from Shinji that reads "I'm sorry for everything Asuka". Sighing I lean on the counter and start eating my breakfast (this time he made egg sandwiches). 'Maybe I was a little too angry at him yesterday, he did look like he regrets how things turned out' Well that's his fault for being stupid, I shouldn't be so soft on him because of that. Although it's been years since I last saw him acting like that, so insecure and ashamed, maybe since post Third Impact.
The sound of heels pulls me out of my thoughts, and I turn to look towards the entrance of the apartment, and I see an exhausted Misato, with her blue dress from yesterday and her military jacket folded over one of her arms, examining the front door, or lack of it to be precise. Approaching me in the kitchen after leaving her shoes at the entrance and saying "I'm home" she gives me a look as if she's waiting for an explanation.
"What are you looking at?" I asked, trying to rile her up a little.
"What happened to my door? And where the hell is my kitchen table?" she asked, now registering the lack of furniture in the dining area.
"Shinji and I had a talk last night" I answered, closing my eyes and resuming my egg sandwich, which tastes great by the way
"I don't see where my furniture enters in your scenario" she tells me, clearly losing her temper over my roundabout way of recounting yesterday's events.
"I practically screamed at his face, slapped him a few times and let her know how much of a moron he is, while walking away to my room and not giving him a chance to salvage the situation"
"And?"
"Well, he got frustrated and punched the table, completely destroying it and then walked out; it seems your door suffered the same fate" I finished, taking a napkin and cleaning my mouth of any residual food I might have.
"Where is he right now?"
"Don't know, he was out before I woke up" picking up my materials for today, I left a fuming, in-the-verge-of-collapse Misato Katsuragi standing in her kitchen. Reaching the elevator, I manage to hear Misato screaming "I'm going to punch the fuck out of that damned kid!" from inside, and I can't help but laugh a little at her misfortune. I'm sure Shinji will repair both things as quickly as possible.
Arriving just 20 minutes late to the lecture, luckily I found a seat towards the back of the classroom and proceeded to place all my things on my seat. I couldn't help but notice that the jerk of Tachibana is in the class, however it seems he has a cast on his right arm and his jaw looks extremely bruised. 'Maybe he did get hit by a truck, serves him right. Hmph'. 15 minutes in, I received a text message from Hikari telling me that we need to talk after class, and we agree to meet at the cafeteria for lunch at 12:30, after I finish my morning lecture. As I refocus in the class, I can't help but remember what Modri said yesterday about wanting Shinji to join them, needing his help to survive and that they won't stop until he agrees to join them. I guess this means we have another Angel War in the coming months, and they made it very clear they're not afraid of collateral damage. Things are about to get busy once again, and this time I'm not looking forward to it.
Arriving at the cafeteria and meeting with Hikari, we ordered the same as always (me a hamburger and she sushi) and she starts giving me a knowing look as if waiting for me to start talking about something we both know she's going to ask.
"What?"
"Did you talk to Shinji last night?"
"I did"
"And? How did it turn out?" She asked with a gleam in her eyes, I'm almost sure she feels like Shinji and I are close to a breakthrough in our relationship. Joke's on her, we couldn't be further than that right now.
"Long story short, I slapped him three times, yelled at him for being a moron and then left him standing in the kitchen" I said in a nonchalant manner
"…"
"…"
"Are you serious Asuka?" she asked, looking at me with an unamused expression. Is she seriously going to lecture me about this?
"Why would I lie Hikari?
"You did the worst-" I raised my hand to stop her before she could continue, because a face I wished I hadn't seen again was walking towards us, together with a group of thug-looking guys. Great this is going to give me a headache.
"Oi, Sohryu!" came the voice of the jerk Tachibana, I can't help but smirk at his sorry state. I'm not one to find pleasure in others suffering, but I'm glad he got what he deserved after what he did to me.
"What do you want? I told you that if I were to see your face again, I would run you over with my car. Although it seems I don't have a need for that anymore" I stated in a mocking manner, finishing with a smirk that caused him to get even angrier.
"You're lucky I don't hit women bitch. But be sure to tell that lovestruck bodyguard of yours that he messed with the wrong guy. Me and my buds here are going to make him pay for what he did to me." He snarked, giving me a hateful glare
"Lovestruck bodyguard? I'm sorry but I don't know who you are talking about" I said, glaring right back at him, sending an implicit message that I'm not going put up with his presence any longer.
"Don't act dumb with me, just tell Ikari he better watch his back". 'Shinji? What does Shinji have to do with him'?
"What did Shinji do that you're picking a fight with him?!" Intervened my friend in a concerned tone
"Well, that night he came to my house like a madman, broke my door and left me with these injuries. I might not be the best fighter, but I know a few people that can teach him a lesson for the right price. I'm just being cordial and letting him know in advance" he finished with an evil grin and walked away with his crew.
"Oh I'm going to kill that moron!" I yelled, clearly disturbed by what I just learned.
"Why would you do that? Asked Hikari. Does she really think being some kind of relationships vigilante is cute? I never asked him to do that! And I'm not a princess who needs some knight to bring justice to everybody who makes her cry.
"What do you mean why? In what universe do you think that was a good idea?!"
"Maybe not, however I could see how you enjoyed the sorry state that jerk Tachibana is in" she said, followed by a little giggle.
"I'm not some kind of princess"
"I don't know about you, but I secretly love it when Toji gets a little territorial when some men stare too long at me or try to flirt with me when we're together. It's so hot sometimes how he gets riled up about it and pulls me closer to him" She was blushing now, really Hikari? Daydreaming about the Jock right next to me, that's a new low.
"Firstly, the Jock is your fiancée and last time I checked the Baka is just my roommate. And secondly, how does getting riled up compare to beating the crap out of someone?" I'm flabbergasted, is this really the always good and respectful former Class Rep?
"You might not believe it, but when it comes to you Shinji is way rasher and more short-tempered than my dear Toji"
"What I can't believe is you right now Hikari, where did the lawfully good girl go? I asked her
"Don't be so innocent Asuka, we're not children anymore. It's okay to be a little bad sometimes you know, selfish too" she added that last part with a knowing look, sending me a message that I honestly didn't understand but decided to not press about it.
"Yeah yeah, let's just have lunch and leave it at that"
Later that day, Rei's apartment. Shinji's POV
"I can deduce why you wanted to see me Shinji-kun" said my half sister. After spending the whole morning doing errands to replace the furniture I broke yesterday and finding someone to put the new door I bought today was quite the challenge. But being a NERV employee has its benefits. With that out of the way, my sister owed me an explanation hence why I'm in her apartment at this moment.
"You're my sister Rei, if you can see Kaworu, you should have told me since the beginning"
"I understand, however I thought it best to wait for you to open up to me" she replied in her customary monotone voice.
"And why is that?" I asked
"Because I could not take that decision from you" I don't know why, but hearing her say that made me remember last night's discussion with Asuka, and compare her decision of keeping quiet with mine. We both did the same, but her reasoning was quite different, emphasizing my mistake of robbing Asuka of her decision. I exhaled heavily, feeling somewhat relieved that my sister reaction to knowing about me was the complete opposite from a certain redhead.
"Why can you see him though? I still don't know why I can, he hasn't explained it" after the last part I gave my silver haired friend an unamused look, to which he responded with his usual smirk.
"Because Lilith's soul inhabits my body, I can see the souls of her offspring, and when his soul merged with us in the Third Impact, I became able to see his soul too. And you can see him because his soul is fused with yours. Does that make sense?" she explained, tilting her head a little to the right after finishing her question.
"I understand the part of you being able to see him, but what do you mean he's fused with me?"
"After you rejected Instrumentality and our souls were brought back to our bodies, Nagisa's didn't have a physical body to return so it took shelter inside yours. But because you became a Complete Being after our merging, it seems you were capable of assimilating him instead of rejecting" There goes that term again, Complete Being, why does she refer to me like that too?
"Wait, why do you refer to me like that? Did you understand what the invaders were talking about?" I asked her, now a little agitated at finding out Rei had some idea of what Modri was speaking about.
"I did, and you became a Complete Being after successfully merging with Lilith, her soul and Adam's soul, the result of that union is what you are now. That is what it stands for, The offspring of both seeds of life" she finished speaking, leaving me with my mouth hanging partially open. I just received a huge amount of information, and my brain was having a hard time processing everything.
"Close your mouth Shinji-kun, or you might swallow flies on accident" commented Kaworu to bring my attention towards the present, and out of my mind.
"How do you know all of this Rei?" I asked
"Well…" she suddenly became embarrassed and diverted her gaze to somewhere else. What got her so flustered? That's very unlike her
"What's wrong?" I asked concerned
"I learned it from Commander Ikari… when we were working in the Instrumentality Project" she replied, still not looking towards me or Kaworu.
'From Father huh' I thought to myself, maybe I'll have to pay him a visit so he can explain why some alien invaders are looking for me. I'm sure he must know something. However, that talk will have to wait, I still need to sort things out in my home and in NERV. There is one last thing I want to ask my sister, but I don't know how to go about it.
"Thank you for explaining it to me Rei. Can I ask you one last thing?
"You are not a monster Shinji-kun. And you never will be" she said, reading my mind and leaving me with speechless. My sister can be unnerving sometimes, and her way of talking and being so blunt amplifies it.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because I know that is what you wanted to ask me" she stated simply. Leaving our conversation at that, I stood up from my chair and started walking towards her apartment door. Pleased with how things turned out on this end.
"Let's go Kaworu, we still have things to do today" I waved at my best friend, whose face reflected a knowing smile after seeing my reaction to Rei's words.
"You can always talk to me Shinji-kun, there is no reason to bear such burdens alone" my sister added behind my retreating back.
I turned my head around to assess her with my eyes and said "Since last night I've been thinking that for six years I've been looking at things the wrong way. I might just take you up on that offer sister" earning the small-but-characteristic smile she gives when pleased. With that out of the way, I proceed to open the door and get a little surprised by what I'm witnessing. A brown haired, bespectacled man looking at his hands while muttering something to himself. It looks like he's encouraging himself.
"Kensuke?" I spoke
"Huh? Shinji?" he asked back, clearly surprised about seeing me stepping out of Rei's apartment. Wait, why is he here?
"Why are you here Ken?"
"I-um… I came to visit Rei-chan" he answered, somewhat flustered and clearly not wanting to meet my gaze.
'Rei-chan?' Huh. I'm getting a weird feeling about this. Looking back inside, I find my sister a few steps behind me, trying and failing to hide her blushing face. This enforces my suspicion about why Kensuke is here, but I'm still having a hard time believing it.
"Let us get going Shinji-kun, we have things to do. Leave them be" spoke my silver haired friend, making his way past us and out of my sister's apartment, standing in the middle of the complex and looking back at me.
"Uh, I'll see you later Rei, it was nice talking to you. Later Kensuke" I said my goodbyes, following Kaworu. We still need to head to NERV and explain everything to Misato and Toji.
Nighttime at Misato's Apartment. Asuka's POV
This feels weird
After Shinji's explanation to the group earlier today at NERV, with support from Rei in explaining a few concepts we didn't quite understand; things seem to be back to normal. We came home (the three of us) together, Shinji started to make dinner as soon as we arrived, and Misato went straight to the bathroom to have a bath and a change of clothes. This left me where I am at the moment, with Pen Pen in the living room trying to watch TV but failing due to feeling too much tension between me and Shinji. What can you expect? We did have a really bad fight, and now he's being really careful around me. Because of that, I don't know how to approach him now that I know his secret. Misato seems to be taking it quite lightly, I'm surprised considering her reaction to finding out after the battle.
I still need to confront him about Tachibana's beating, I should probably think how I'm going to board the subject. Taking a glance at the kitchen from where I'm sitting, I can see him diligently working the ingredients on the counter. 'Are those flying knifes cutting vegetables?! What the hell?!'
"Shinji why are those cutleries floating and cutting vegetables on their own? What's happening?" I asked him, having walked from the living room to the new kitchen table.
"Oh that's just Kaworu helping me with the dinner. I figured that now you guys know about me, he doesn't have to hide around the apartment" he answered calmly, never turning around to assess me, continuing his cooking.
Wait, he really does a ghost following him around?! And he has been around since Shinji became superhuman?!
"Has he always been here?" I asked, fearing his answer and now feeling like my privacy in the last six years has been compromised.
"Yeah, he started showing himself to me a few weeks after Third Impact" he answered, still focused on making dinner
"WHAT?!" I screamed, now embarrassed at the implications a ghost roaming around here entail. I feel somewhat naked, hugging myself as if to cover me from being observed. Shinji stopped working on the counter, turning around to face me with a surprised and confused look in his cobalt eyes.
"What's wrong Asuka?" he asked
"What's going on here?" came Misato wrapped in a towel apparently having finished her bath just now.
"The Baka's ghost friend has been peeking us for six years!" I stated loudly, pointing to Shinji as if he was the one to blame for that.
"What do you mean Asuka?" asked Misato, not fully understanding.
"His imaginary friend is real! That means he's been living with us for six years! He might have been here when you and I thought we were alone! You know what that means!? I exclaimed, each time getting more embarrassed as more thoughts of possible things he might have witnessed were entering my mind. Oh god this can't be happening.
"Calm down Asuka, most of the time he hangs out with me and I prohibited him from doing those kind of things" Shinji said trying to reassure me
"And you trust him?! For all we know he might have watched me or Misato bathing a hundred times now!"
"And did he like what he saw?" teased Misato, now looking at Shinji suggestively. I should've known she wouldn't mind this.
"I- uhm…" stuttered Shinji, now blushing. "Like I said, he and I came to an agreement and as far as I know, he hasn't broken it" he completed, looking away from us. He clearly knows something he shouldn't
"He must have seen a little bit at least, no? I want to know how I'm faring among the youth" Continued our guardian. God this woman can be such a pervert sometimes.
"Uhm… Kaworu says that you are the most dazzling woman he has seen in all these six years" said Shinji
"Is the ghost really flirting with her right now?!" I said, what the hell is going on here?
"Oh my, how unfair that he's invisible!" pouted Misato
"You people are missing the point!
"Relax Asuka, I'm sure your classmates stare at you more than Nagisa-kun. Plus, he knows you're forbidden territory. Let me get changed so we can eat dinner" and with she left for her room. What did she mean I'm forbidden territory?
"If it makes you feel better, he has told me that your classmates can't keep their eyes off of you in class" said Shinji out of nowhere.
"In what world would that make me feel better?! He has followed me to class?!"
"Just on some occasions when I ask him for a little privacy. But don't worry I'm certain he's not a pervert" He said casually, then turned around to the kitchen counter to finish preparing dinner. Out of nowhere, I see a paper being put in the table in front of me with some kind of message, clearly the ghost trying to communicate with me. The note reads "I would never disrespect you like that Princess" …
"Why does he call me Princess?"
"Huh?"
"I don't like it" I said in a low tone
"I keep telling him the same, but he keeps calling you that. Just ignore it"
'Easy for you to say Baka-Shinji, you can see him at least'
"Dinner's ready"
Dinner went by surprisingly calm, Misato doing most of the talk about what's going on in NERV and in some occasions speaking to Nagisa, only for Shinji to relay the answer back to her. I gave my opinion a few times, the majority of them regarding the alien attack and how to proceed from now, meanwhile Shinji was keeping to himself the whole time, not intervening or giving his opinion on anything.
"What's wrong with you Baka?" I asked
"What? Nothing's wrong" he replied, a little too quickly for my taste
"Why are you moping during dinner then?"
"It's just… Why are you guys acting as if nothing happened? As if it were normal that I'm different"
"Shinji, you're my son. I'd love you even if you were a vampire that sucks blood out of people. Sure, I'm quite angry at you for keeping such a secret from me all these years, but you've been rejecting yourself for six years already, what makes you think I'd do the same? Said Misato, suddenly turning serious and looking at Shinji straight in the eyes.
"Well, Ritsuko says I'm too dangerous for a human being, and I think she's right"
"You ended humanity once, so I can't blame her for thinking that. However, when I see you I'm always reminded of the gentle kid I met seven years ago, and I know that kid is still in you Shinji." Finished Misato, reaching over the table to put her hands on top of his, in a gesture of reassurance.
"Misato…" said Shinji
"You might be superhuman or a mutant, but I still see a colossal idiot when I look at you" I added, rolling my eyes to emphasize how pathetic he looks right now.
"Thank you Asuka"
"Now that that's out of the way, there's something I wanted to ask you Shin-chan" in a surprisingly serious tone, yet I couldn't shake the feeling that nothing good was going to come out of that question.
"Yes Misato?"
Following Shinji's question, Misato suddenly made a knowingly expression, as if she's about to tease him about something, this isn't good.
"How was your date yesterday!?" She asked with a gleam in her eyes, now pulling his hands towards her, making his upper body stumble forward on the table. I knew it, she has an innate talent to tick me off. Trying to ignore those two, I pulled out my phone and started checking my social medias to avoid looking forward.
"I-I… I would say it was good" said Shinji embarrassedly, clearly not expecting Misato's meddling right now
"I want details Shinji! Where did you go, what did you do? Asked Misato excitedly
"Uhm, we met at the park downtown and walked towards the new European restaurant to have dinner, after that I walked her home and that's when you called me.
"Not bad for a first date… You paid for dinner right Shin-chan?
"Of course I did, I told you I'm not that dense Misato" answered Shinji now annoyed at her questions.
"So when do I get to meet this girl?! Really Misato? It was just one date, why are you so excited about it. Wait why am I still listening to this conversation?!
"Well, she's coming here on Friday" said Shinji blushing and diverting his gaze
"What?!" I said loudly, grabbing everyone's attention at the table. Shit I should've kept that thought to myself
"What's wrong Asuka? Asked Misato, smirking at me. I swear I'll get you one of these days.
"Nothing"
"So Shinji, what do you mean she's coming here two days from now? Continued Misato
"Yeah uh, we made a deal so I'm going to play cello for her on Friday"
I stared dumbfounded at him after hearing that, why does my chest feel so tight right now? It's like my heart is being gripped by an iron hand and the air I'm breathing can't seem to reach my lungs. I shouldn't be feeling like this, we hear him play cello for us all the time, so much so that it has become something rutinary whenever he practices and we're both at home. So why am I feeling like this? Am I jealous of her? That wouldn't make sense, I know him better than anyone including Misato, some girl he met a week ago can't compete with me. But is that the problem? She isn't competing with me because we're just roommates. We're not in that kind of relationship, so why do I feel like I'm being replaced somehow?
"You're a smooth operator, aren't you Shinji? I'm quite surprised, but happy nonetheless" stated Misato with a smile on her face
"It was her idea actually, she wanted me to play for her and given I already play for you two, I thought why not?" he added
"Oh, so you're playing for the three of us then? Asked Misato, causing Shinji's blush to deepen.
"Well…"
I stood up kind of abruptly from the table, which earned me (two?) questioning looks from my roommates. "It's been a long day, I'm going to my room for the night" I said, in an attempt to dispel any weird thoughts they might be having. Shinji seemed to buy my excuse, although Misato looked at me with a mischievous smirk, irritating me further but I could keep that irritation to myself.
"Oh, good night Asuka" said Shinji
I just hope I can find sleep easily tonight; my mind is not in the best place right now.
After dinner. Shinji's POV
"What's wrong with her?" I asked my guardian
"You're really dense sometimes Shinji" replied her, giving me a warm smile, the kind a mother gives to her son when he says something cute or silly.
"Well, maybe women are way too complicated for my simple mind" I replied, earning a small giggle now from Misato.
"I can't argue with that. So Shinji, do you like this new girl?"
"I-uh, I do enjoy her company a lot, she's really interesting" I wasn't expecting that question, where was Misato going with this?
"How far have you two gone already?
"I'm not answering that question Misato" She must be delirious if she's thinking I want her to know my intimate activities with someone else.
"I had to try. I'm going to sleep to Shinji, if I woke up tomorrow and my furniture is missing again, I'm kicking you out of my apartment you hear? She stated so calmy, that I could feel my blood freezing in my veins. I can afford living by myself right now, NERV's salary is really good, but I don't know why hearing Misato talk like that gives me the chills.
"Good night Misato, and I'm sorry about that, it won't happen again" I replied.
"Good night Shinji-kun, Nagisa-kun too!" she said while walking towards her room
I start picking up the dishes to begin cleaning up after dinner. I wanted to talk a little with Asuka tonight, but she's been acting weird today, maybe I should try it tomorrow. But maybe she wants me to go after her, her behavior reflects that of when we were younger. Ugh sometimes I can never tell with her, even after all this time she keeps me on my toes.
"I believe you should go for it today" came Kaworu's voice from behind me
"You know, I've been meaning to ask you something too" I said
"And I am in no position to answer that, you better ask your sister directly about it" he answered, perfectly knowing what I wanted to talk about.
"How long has Kensuke been seeing my sister?" I asked anyways.
"My lips are sealed Shinji-kun" Dammit, he's really keeping quiet this time. Maybe I underestimated his relationship with Rei. No matter, I'll ask her directly.
"Wait for me in my room then, I want a private talk with Asuka"
"As you wish" and with that he went ahead to my room for the night.
While I'm washing everything, my mind wanders to my pending conversation with Asuka. I really just want to voice my recent thoughts to her, I know she's still mad at me for the secret, but with the impending war with the aliens, I don't want to make the same mistakes as last time. If she wants to punch me for wanting to talk, so be it, but there's no one else I'd rather talk about these things than her. Maybe I should calm the waters beforehand, I have an idea that might work.
With that in mind, after finishing the dishes, I walk to her door and gently knock twice, hoping she's still awake.
"Asuka?" I say in a low voice, and after a couple of seconds her voice came through.
"What do you want Baka?"
"I would like to show you something, can you come out?" I asked
"Can't it wait until tomorrow?"
"I… I would rather show you today" after speaking, I hear some rustling from the other side of the door, and shortly after she opens it and steps out in her usual pajamas. Bright red and long sleeved blouse together with complimenting shorts that cover up just her upper thighs, showing most of her legs. I can't help but gulp and stare at her form, even after all this time she always has the same effect on me.
"Eyes up, pervert" she says, pulling out of my trance. When I meet her eyes I see a slightly annoyed expression, clearly not fond of my staring. Clearing my throat I start speaking.
"Let's go outside"
"Can't you just show me here?" Now she was getting irritated, I better be quick about this
"Please" after hearing my plead, she rolled her eyes and walked past me, heading towards the door.
Now outside, she's staring at me expectantly with her arms crossed on her chest and with something similar to a scowl on her face.
"So?"
"I know this will sound strange, but hug me and hold on to me tight" I said, hopefully she won't smack me again for being this blunt
"I swear to Lilith Shinji, if this is your half-assed attempt to start physical contact with me, I'm going to kick your balls" Please Lilith have mercy on me
"It's not, just trust me please" I said, extending my hand towards her. With a huff she grabbed it and walked to me, putting her arms around my back and placing her head on my chest. I can smell her shampoo, strawberry sweet with a hint of lavender, and suddenly I lose my train of thought and can only think of her smell and the feel of her body close to mine. This was a bad idea, bad idea Shinji. It's evoking memories I'd rather not remember right now.
"Don't you dare put your arms below my shoulders Baka. Now hurry up, I want to get this over and go to sleep" she said, pulling me back to reality. Gulping hard for the second time tonight I proceed to hold her around her shoulders.
"Yes ma'am. Don't let go"
And with that I started floating up slowly, towards our rooftop, while looking down at her to assess her reaction to my abilities. After a couple of seconds, she started to register what was going on, and how the floor was looking more and more farther away from us
"Holy fuck! Why are you flying Shinji?! Are you crazy?! Let me down now you stupid moron!" Okay that was not the reaction I was hoping for
"Just calm down and trust me"
"Calm down?! We're almost 10 meters from the ground!
"I will not let you fall so just stop fidgeting and hold on to me" I said sternly, this seemed to calm her somewhat because she stopped moving and lowered her tone of voice.
"Lilith give me strength to not kill this moron right in this moment" she said in a low voice, I think that can count as a win. Landing on the rooftop she quickly let loose of her hold on me, I on the other hand, had a harder time letting go of her. I should've thought this through before doing something so dumb, a sudden desire of never releasing her entertained itself inside of me.
"Shinji let me go" she said in a low voice, is that hesitation? It can't be
"Sorry" with that, I released her and took a step back, putting some distance between us.
"So that's what you wanted to show me? One of your superpowers? She asked
"Well, it was more like an excuse, I just wanted to talk to you" I said sincerely
"Why couldn't we talk inside the apartment?" she asked, clearly not understanding my way of doing things
"I come up here when I want to clear my head, the stars look beautiful and not many sounds from the streets make their way up here. I find it soothing."
"So?"
"I wanted to be here with you" I stated, looking towards the night sky and appreciating the starry sky that graced us tonight
"Oh" she said, a little taken back by how I phrased it maybe, and if I were a human with normal eyesight I wouldn't be able to notice the small blush that showed on her cheeks when I looked over to her.
"I have to speak with my father" I said, letting out the main reason I needed to speak with her
"What? Why?" she asked, surprising filtering in her tone
"He has knowledge about our new invaders, Rei told me so"
"But why does it have to be you? Misato or Ritsuko could do it" it was a valid argument; I don't have to be the one who gets information out of him. But there's something inside of me, call it a gut feeling, that tells me it should be me the one to speak with him. There are many questions only he has an answer to, and not all of them are about Modri and this newfound threat.
"I think he's going to be more comfortable talking to me" I answered
"That doesn't make any sense Shinji. You're just looking to get hurt again" she said, giving me a serious look, as if trying to make me rethink things before doing something stupid.
"I think Rei is dating Kensuke" I changed directions, and she could clearly see that, but decided to not dwell on it. I think she realized I was just venting my thoughts with her instead of seeking her opinion.
"That idiot Aida is the one she was talking about?"
"What do you mean? You knew she was dating someone?" I asked her, surprised by her question
"I-uh… Well I didn't know she was dating someone but…"
"But what Asuka?"
"Let's just say your sister has been interested in some adult themes lately" WHAT?!
"Are you saying Kensuke is having sex with my sister?!" I stated loudly. Woah that sounded so wrong, I do hope they're not that far in their relationship. For my sanity.
"I don't know if the Military Jock is the one, but she told me she had sex with someone." I totally regret having heard that last part, I wasn't ready to realize my sister can have sex too.
"Mighty Lilith I should've stayed in Instrumentality" I said, putting my face inside my hands and scratching my scalp in clear frustration. Asuka started giggling, it's been a long time since I've heard her doing that. I've always loved that sound.
"What's so funny?" I ask
"She's an adult too you know? Sex isn't only for you Baka"
"What do you mean only for me?!"
"Oh nothing, just that the Invincible Shinji is not a virgin and Misato let everyone in the bridge now about that. Even Ritsuko had her mouth wide open after her revelation" She said, now smiling and looking at the stars on top of us. Moonlight shining a bit on her face made her look otherworldly, that small smile, the way her cerulean eyes were focusing on the sky, the way her hair fell down her back. Everything about her makes me lose myself. A sudden desire to brush a small part of her hair behind her ear and place my hand on her cheek to feel her warmth started building up inside me, but I was able to fight it and go back to our conversation.
"You have to be kidding me"
"Am not" and there she giggled again, making my heart beat a hundred times faster. She turned to face me and before I could register it she punched my arm.
"What was that for?" I asked
"Why did you beat the crap out of Tachibana?"
"How do you know that?"
"He approached me in the cafeteria today looking like a car ran over him, and told me to warn you that he'd be getting his revenge soon, he was accompanied by some thug looking guys" she answered, now crossing her arms in front of her chest and giving me an unamused look.
"Good luck with that" I said chuckling, it's not like he can harm me and I can always break them too.
"I'm serious Shinji, why did you do that?" she asked again
"Because he made you feel ugly" I stated simply. This made her eyes widen, her eyebrows rising quite a bit. Following her reaction, I kept talking.
"I've always wanted to punch the crap out of him anyways, that was just the cherry on top. Stupid jerk never realized what he had in front of his eyes" The last part I said it mostly to myself, like a whisper. If she heard me saying that, she decided not to comment on it.
"While I am glad that jerk got what he deserved. I'm not happy you did that, and I don't want you to do that ever again, understood?" she said sternly
"Why?"
"Because I'm not a princess that needs to be saved by you. I can fight my own battles, and you're not my secret bodyguard neither" she said, poking me in the chest with her index finger while looking at me in the eyes.
"I'm still doing it anyways" I said
"Why can't you just stay put when I want you to?!" she exclaimed
"I don't care, I'm not letting anyone who treats you like shit get away with it, whether you like it or not, I'm beating them half to death" after hearing me say that, she looked surprised, and I could swear I saw the subtlest of blushes creep around her cheeks
"I'm sure your Moon Princess would love to hear you speaking like that" she whispered while looking down
"Moon Princess…? What does Kaguya have to do with all this?" I asked, completely thrown back by her sudden mention of Kaguya.
"So that's her name! I understand the nickname now" she exclaimed, returning her gaze back up and pointing at me with her finger again
"Why did you bring her up out of nowhere?" I tried again
"Well, if she were here listening to you talking about defending me from jerks, I'm sure she'd love the idea" she replied in an elevated tone, stepping away from me and diverting her gaze toward the left side of the rooftop.
"She has no reason to be angry, I'm just protecting my friend" I said, looking at her with a scowl, clearly not pleased with her insinuations.
"So that's what I am to you, a friend " she said
"Are we not friends then? what am I to you Asuka? Last time we were talking with our friends from school, you said very clearly to Hikari that you and I are just roommates. So I don't get why you're suddenly so riled up about me calling you that" I attacked back, closing the distance between us and focusing my gaze in her eyes
"You're a moron Shinji!" she tried to push me away but failed, finding me to be far more robust than she expected
"What did I do now!?
"You can't go around eyeing me up, holding me for far too long, talking to me like I'm your most trusted person and then act like my prince charming, while you're dating someone! It doesn't work that way!" she was now facing the rooftop floor, with her hand balled like fists on top of my chest. What's up with her? I've always been that way with her, why is this a problem right now? Is she jealous of Kaguya?
"Are you jealous Asuka?" I asked
"What do you mean jealous? Of course not, don't be stupid! Still not looking at me, she's a terrible liar.
"Then what the hell is wrong with you all of a sudden?
"Nothing is wrong with me, let's just go back inside. It's getting cold up here and I'm tired"
Something is clearly up with her, but I think it's unwise to try and get her to talk about it. Because of this I decide to not push her and go along with her wish of going back inside.
"Fine, just hold on to me again so I can get us down"
Without saying anything, she closed the distance and once again hugged me, placing her head on top of my chest. And just like that I lowered us down to our apartment again, but this time I wasn't the one who took too long to release the other one. However, I decided to let it be, not that I didn't enjoy it anyways. Tomorrow is going to be another day, and one I'm not looking forward to, especially the part involving talking with my father.
TO BE CONTINUED
This has been my longest chapter yet! I'm sorry if any of you readers are not fond of long chapters, i try my best to make conversations short but at the same time i sometimes feel they are a little rushed when i don't go over things.
As always rate and review! And thank you for reading!!