A/N: My updates might be more spaced out from now on, depending how much I write. Also, just thought I should warn you that there is gayness in this chapter. Gasp. Sorry to all those Romanogers, Clintasha and Brutasha stans, but from now on this story will be very gay. Just like me. Enjoy & review!
She was running with Clint and Maria. They were on a street, and everything around them was burning. She wasn't sure what she was running from, but whatever it was was gaining on them. It shot at her, but Clint stepped in its path.
"No!" She screamed, watching as Clint fell to the ground. Maria grabbed her arm and they kept running, but Natasha looked back and saw Sidorov behind them, carrying a small child. The kid squirmed in his grasp, crying, but he wouldn't let her go. "Mama!" The kid called. Sidorov smiled cruelly, and the longer he held the child the less she struggled, until-
Natasha shot straight up in her bed, drenched in sweat, pain radiating through her chest. Her hand fumbled until it found her stomach, and she took a few deep breaths. It was the same dream as last time. She glanced over at Maria, and saw that she was sleeping peacefully. Or at least looked like it. She looked over at the clock - 4:17 am.
She got up and creeped to the living room. She stopped when she saw Laura and Nathaniel on the couch.
"Hey." Laura whispered, bouncing Nate gently on her lap.
"...hi. Sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"No no, it's ok. I just finished feeding him. Come sit." Laura said, patting the couch beside her. Natasha apprehensively sat down. Her chest was still throbbing, and since the broken ribs were on her side, near the back, she didn't want to lean into the couch too much. "Couldn't sleep?"
"No, I just woke up."
Laura studied Natasha, noticing that she was sweating and shivering, her eyes staring blankly into the distance.
"Nightmare?" She asked, watching as Natasha flinched, and nodded slowly. She had one arm resting over her stomach, and the other supporting her head on the arm of the couch. She looked painfully tired. Laura knew that pregnancy was draining enough without being held captive. "Do you want to talk about it? I know sometimes when Clint has nightmares, talking helps."
Natasha was silent for a moment. She picked up the water glass she'd left on the side table the night before, taking a sip.
"It's the same one I had yesterday. I'm running with Clint and Maria, and then Clint gets shot, and Sidorov is chasing us, carrying… carrying my kid, and… I woke up after that today, but yesterday…" She stopped talking, looking at her knees.
"Who's Sidorov? You mentioned him before."
"He was one of my supervisors in the Red Room."
"Oh…" Laura hadn't heard Natasha talk about her past very often, probably because it was painful to talk about. "The fact that a man who probably hurt you in your past wants your baby must be surfacing some bad memories." She said kindly, but Natasha's face hardened. She stood up and went toward the front door.
"I'm gonna get some air." She mumbled. Nate had fallen asleep, so Laura set him in his playpen and followed Natasha, closing only the screen door so she could hear the baby if he woke up.
"It's freezing out here." She remarked, pulling her cardigan closer around her. Natasha shrugged, taking a sip of water, wishing it was vodka. Laura stood next to her, keeping a few feet between them. Natasha had a distant look on her face, seemingly fascinated by the trees in the distance. Laura followed her gaze, and after a few seconds she realized that the slow blowing of the trees was actually mesmerizing. In the darkness of the very early morning, they looked like shadows cast by something unknown, which seemed mysteriously beautiful and ominous at the same time. It was November, and by the chill in the air Laura could tell that snow was going to come soon. Natasha didn't seem bothered.
As Laura looked over at her friend, she really studied the woman for a minute in the dim porch light. Her form looked much the same, her baggy sweater probably covering a small baby bump. But she was slightly hunched, her arms protecting her ribs. There were large bruises on her face, much more pronounced than they had been the night before. Laura couldn't even imagine what bruises might be lying under her clothes. But Laura was used to seeing her injured. It was the look in her eyes. Tired, sure, but there was something else. Natasha was scared.
As she looked out at the horizon, which Natasha was still staring at, she wondered if Natasha saw it differently. If the slightly creepy feeling that the trees gave her was familiar, and meant something to her. She was probably on edge right now, ready to fight if someone rounded the corner. And to Laura, that would be scary, but to Natasha that was just everyday. But Natasha was scared.
After a little while, Laura got cold, so she headed inside, patting Nat on the shoulder before she left. Natasha stayed, staring at the trees in the distance. She wasn't sure how long she stayed out there, but she liked the feeling of wind on her face. The swaying of the trees was comforting, because it didn't change. The trees swayed back and forth, back and forth, and even though there was the occasional strong gust of wind, they still went back and forth, back and forth. She wondered if her life would ever be that steady, or if she actually wanted it to be.
"Are the trees pink or something and I didn't notice?"
She whipped around, finding a tousle-haired Maria smirking at her, one eyebrow raised. Natasha smiled.
"No, of course not. They're purple." She responded, getting a chuckle from Maria. They stood there for a moment, but it was different from with Laura. With Laura the two were standing in mutual acknowledgement, staring at the same trees, keeping each other company. But Maria was looking into Natasha's eyes with a sparkle that made her want to melt, and they were smiling for no reason. Without realizing, Natasha stepped closer to Maria and laid her head on the taller woman's shoulder. Maria looked slightly surprised, but leaned into the contact and ran her hand through Natasha's fiery hair.
"God, it's fucking cold out here." Maria mumbled. "Let's go inside."
Maria led Natasha into the house, closing the door behind them. Laura and Nate had gone back to bed, and Natasha was surprised to see that it was 5:00. She'd been out there for a while. They sat down on the couch, Maria curling her legs into her chest and leaning her head against the back of the couch. Natasha leaned against the opposite armrest, looking over at Maria. She shivered slightly, still feeling the chill of being outside for so long, and Maria opened her arms. Natasha raised her eyebrows. She'd never seen Maria be so open with anyone, ever. But nevertheless, she curled into her friend. If friend was the right word.
She hadn't expected it to happen like that. If anything, she'd expected to have a long and awkward buildup to it, with many embarrassing and uncharacteristically flustered moments. Or not to happen at all. But it did happen like that.
Natasha looked up into Maria's face, just as Maria looked down at hers. They both took in the other's beautiful features, leaning into each other. And just like that, Maria took Natasha's lips into hers. And Natasha kissed her back.
Maria broke the kiss and looked into Natasha's eyes. They were both asking and answering the same question at the same time. Natasha now had no doubts whatsoever about her sexuality, if she had before. Maria put her hand on Natasha's face and laughed, and Natasha laughed too, not because she knew what they were laughing about but just because Maria's deep resounding laugh was contagious.
"I really like you." Maria whispered, rubbing her thumb against Nat's cheekbone. Natasha smirked.
"You kind of made that obvious."
Maria leaned in to kiss her again, but when she did, Clint walked in.
"Morning guys. Early, isn't i-" He stopped when he saw the two, Natasha basically on Maria's lap and Maria caressing Natasha's face while leaning into her. When they heard Clint come in they jumped apart like teenagers, but not before he saw them. Natasha was quite disappointed in herself - she was supposed to be a super-spy, but she'd been distracted by Maria.
"Um. I'm gonna make some coffee." Was all Clint said after a minute, walking past them, a confused look on his face. Neither Natasha nor Maria moved for an entire 6 minutes while Clint was in the kitchen, and didn't look at him as he re-entered the living room balancing three cups of coffee. "So." He began, an interrogative look on his face, sitting down across from them.
Natasha sipped her coffee, plastering her signature indifferent expression on her face and staring him right in the face. Maria just sat awkwardly on the other side of the couch.
"So?" She said innocently.
Clint pointed at Natasha, then Maria, then back to Natasha, then back to Maria. "You two…"
Natasha raised her eyebrows, her facade not budging. "Us two…"
"How long?" He asked, but Natasha simply smiled.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Maria simply sipped her coffee, watching the two intently. Clint narrowed his eyes, trying to get Natasha to break, but she stared right back at him. Maria snorted at the two assassins burning into each other with their eyes, hiding her face in her coffee. Natasha couldn't help but smile at her, and Clint smirked satisfactorily.
"Why did you never tell me?" He asked quietly, suddenly serious.
"I never knew." She said simply. Clint nodded, stretching his legs out, but not letting go of the conversation.
"I always knew you were gay." He said pointing to Maria. She quirked an eyebrow and Natasha chucked sympathetically.
"You've made it kind of obvious." She chuckled, and the two once again locked eyes.
"Ugh, if you're gonna eye fuck do it in your bedroom please." He groaned, getting up to get more coffee and leaving the women to sit awkwardly together.
The ensuing couple of hours were spent in awkwardly comfortable relative silence. Clint returned to the living room and flipped through a magazine, Maria typed on a small SHIELD tablet, and Nat stared off into the distance, occasionally glancing over and smiling shyly at Maria. Clint thought that the two of them were absolutely adorable in a sort of deadly hard-ass assassin kind of way, as much as he was still processing the news.
At 7:30 or so Laura came into the kitchen looking tired with a very hyper Lila in tow.
"We're making waffles, anybody want some?"
Clint's eyes flicked over to Natasha and Maria before getting up to greet his daughter. Natasha was definitely not planning to tell Laura or the kids about her and Maria for a long time, especially since they'd only kissed once - like come on, was it even a relationship yet? But there was definitely something that they did need to tell the kids.
Sitting at the dinner table with Maria, Laura, Clint, Cooper, baby Nate, and Lila, Natasha was grateful that her stomach had decided that waffles were an acceptable food, and she was wolfing them down because they were the only decent food she'd had in months.
Clint had confirmed with Natasha that it was okay to tell them about the baby, because they both knew they'd be thrilled, particularly Lila. They'd also decided that they deserved to know at least part of why Nat and a strange woman were staying at their house. Once everyone was mostly finished with their breakfast, he cast Nat a look and she nodded.
"So, kids, we want to talk to you." He started, and both kids were suddenly rapt with anticipation. "First, auntie Nat has some news."
They'd also decided that Clint would be telling most of it, because as much as she loved the kids, she was terrible at announcing things like this. Thor had spent many an Avengers meeting complaining about her lack of dramatism.
"She's going to have a baby."
Both kids went wide-eyed and stared at Natasha, before Lila practically jumped over the table to hug her aunt. Natasha laughed and scooped her up.
"Is Captain America it's daddy?" She asked and Clint practically fell off of his chair laughing.
"No, Mr. Stark made a machine that… accidentally, uh…"
Natasha considered how something like this would be explained to a child who didn't even know how babies were made, but Laura saved her.
"It was really special technology, and by mistake it broke and made Auntie Nat pregnant."
Lila looked at her mother, confused, but decided to accept it and went back to hugging her aunt. Natasha winced as Lila squeezed her injured ribs, and Clint continued.
"Also, Auntie Nat went on a mission, and it went wrong. There was a bad guy that knew her from before, and he… put her in a kind of jail."
"Auntie Nat went to jail?"
"Yes, but not because she did something wrong. This man isn't a nice person, and the reason why Auntie Nat is staying with us is because we don't want him to put her in jail again."
Lila continued to hug her aunt, but Natasha caught Cooper's eye. He was eleven, and he understood the meaning of "jail." He looked concerned.
"Did he hurt you?" The little boy asked timidly.
"He, um-"
"Is that why your face is bruised? He hit you?"
Lila burst into tears at this, and Natasha shushed her and patted her head.
"It's okay, I'm okay." She said to the little girl.
"The man didn't-" Laura began but Clint shook his head.
"We shouldn't lie to them." He mumbled quietly enough that only Cooper heard. He looked legitimately scared now, and he continued to spiral.
"He was the one who broke your ribs too, wasn't he? And he probably kept you there for a really long time, and he probably didn't give you enough food, and you were pregnant the whole time, so that's bad, and… and I thought you couldn't even get pregnant?" He finished, tears forming in his eyes. Everyone was silent, trying to process what Cooper had just said. Lila stopped crying, and simply buried her face into her aunt's chest. Everyone except Lila and Nate, who was blissfully sucking his fist, was staring at Cooper.
"Coop, who told you that?" Clint asked. Cooper shrunk into himself and little bit more.
"I accidentally read through some of Auntie Nat's files when they were released." He mumbled so quietly that none of the adults were sure they heard him correctly.
"Accidentally?!" Clint said, raising his voice. "Cooper Theodore Barton, that is absolutely-"
"It's fine. I would have read them too, if I were him." Natasha spoke up, making Clint gape at her. Another heavy silence filled the room, and only Lila's sniffles and Nate's gurgles were heard. Finally, Lila spoke.
"Where are your ribs?" She asked, looking up at her aunt.
"On your chest. They protect your heart and lungs and stuff." Nat answered, and Lila frowned.
"Are all of your ribs broken?" She leaned back as though trying not to hurt Natasha, and Natasha put a hand on her little head.
"No, of course not. Only a few. On the side." She said, pointing to Lila's right side. Lila nodded, looking contemplative.
"Do they hurt the baby?" She asked softly.
"No, they don't."
Lila nodded again and leaned back into Natasha, and Natasha put her arms around the kid and looked back up at everyone else. They were all staring at her. Natasha looked to Cooper.
"The machine that Mr. Stark made also fixed everything inside of me, any injuries or scars. It fixed that, too." She answered.
"Oh." He said, and then excused himself from the table. But before he rounded the corner he looked back at her, and she smiled at him, despite everyone else's tension. The fear drained from his face and he smiled back.