"I'm gonna be honest, I actually thought this place looked kinda cool when the rifts first took us here. But when the sun's out? Not so much."
"Neon has no place to shine during the day. Quite a shame, really."
Standing outside their ship, Ratchet and Clank held their hands above their eyes, shielding them from the sun's glare over the metallic surfaces that made up a staggering majority of Nefarious City's architecture. Despite still being powered on, the neon signs and other lights that accompanied each building were practically nonexistent, overshadowed by the strength of daylight.
"It's so bland without all the flashy effects. What was Nefarious thinking?" Ratchet said.
"That's the glorious Emperor for you," Rivet said, hopping out of Aphelion with Kit. "He knew he was all style and no substance, so he tried his best to hide it with the clouds. Trust me, after years of sneaking around this city, I've grown tired of it."
"I too can appreciate this change. Even if it has the visual appeal equivalent to an abandoned Blargian shed," Kit said.
"Nice one." Snickering, Ratchet lightly nudged Kit, who beamed back at him.
Clearing his throat, Clank took a step ahead of them. "With all criticisms said and done, the first task on the agenda is to meet with the interim Planetary Chairman at Nefarious Tower, or whatever it is called now. Would anyone know where that is?"
Rivet and Kit raised their hand, and despite having been there before, Ratchet preferred it when the experts took control.
"You two lead the way," Ratchet said, stepping back. "By the bazaar, right?"
As they nodded, he motioned for the two to take the front, following them with Clank as they descended the steps from their landing pad towards Nefarious Tower.
"Squishies…" an electronic voice said to their right.
Ratchet and Rivet turned to the direction of the speaker, only to find that there were dozens of robots in a crowd all looking back; it could've been any one of them. Choosing to ignore the comment, they resumed walking, but no matter where they went, the citizens of the city wouldn't stop staring at them, whispering to each other. Each passing bot was a turning head, and each turning head was another skeptic watching their every move.
"Robots…" Rivet muttered. But after glancing at Clank and Kit, who were right next to her, she bit her tongue and flinched. "Uh, not you guys, though. No offense."
While Clank shrugged it off, Kit, although subtle, visibly deflated and slowed down, eventually falling behind.
Ratchet reached for her back and began nudging her towards Rivet. Though she was initially confused, her slight frown faded as she nodded, then picking up her pace to match with the other Lombax.
Within a few minutes, they made it to the entrance of the tower. There stood a well-dressed tall and skinny male Cazar. Ratchet's eyes lit up, having recognized this figure from the previous meeting.
The Cazar stood perfectly still, expressionless as his sunglasses shielded any emotion that could've come through his eyes. Upon noticing the approaching group, he didn't even react or move a muscle.
"Hey, uh, you," Ratchet said, though it was blatant to his friends that he didn't remember the person's name. "What's happening?"
Without saying a single word, the Cazar opened the door to Nefarious Tower and signaled for everyone to follow. Within the lobby of the tower, which was barren from all the removed Nefarious-related decor, they came across an elevator, the same one that Ratchet used to sneak into the place last time.
Ah, memories.
They all stepped into the elevator, including the Cazar, who pressed the button to the top floor. And then...silence.
Rivet coughed.
Clank's gears whirred.
Kit's metal body clattered against the elevator walls.
"So," Ratchet said, looking at their silent guide. "You've met the guy, right? He any cool?"
The Cazar didn't respond. Not a brief glance. Not even a single twitch. Nothing. He was so still that it didn't even look like he was breathing.
What a fun individual.
*DING*
Never before had Ratchet thought that an elevator chime would've brought him so much relief.
The doors slid open as they walked into the top floor, and right across the hallway from them was the office. Its door was already open, inviting them to walk through, and upon entering, it slammed shut as the Cazar closed it and left.
At the other side of the room was an unusually large chair behind a desk, Nefarious' old desk. Its back faced them, too giant for anyone to spot the chairman and identify them properly. So, with their entry, Clank took a step forward and cleared his throat.
"Excuse me, you must be the new chairman of this planet. We will be assisting you tod—"
Amidst Clank's introduction, the chair spun around to reveal its occupant. A tall, top-wide figure donning a black suit as opposed to his usual red outfit.
"Captain Quantum?" Rivet yelled out.
The surprise guest jumped out of his seat and onto the desk, its wooden base creaking under the immense weight. "That's right! And am I glad to see you all today! How are the kids, uhh, Ratchet, was it?"
"Huh? Kids? Qwa—Quantum, what are you doing here?"
Jumping off the desk, he landed with a thud that shook the room. Quantum straightened his tie and flashed a toothy smile. "You're looking at the galaxy's first Galactic President in decades!"
"Galactic President? I thought this was just supposed to be for the planet, not the galaxy? Since when was there an election?" Ratchet's ears rose with anxiety as he recalled a certain green hero's experience with politics. He shared a nervous look with Clank, who surely must've been thinking the same thing.
"Well, there was going to be one." Sitting back down in his chair, Quantum lifted his legs on the desk. "They were so desperate for someone to take the Emperor's place, but since I was the only guy to sign up, I won by default! Both the chairman and presidential position! Power vacuums, am I right?"
"I...see. One moment, please." Ratchet turned around to gather his group, huddling everyone together in order to whisper closely. "Wasn't he just a pirate before this?"
"Yep," Rivet said, her face remaining worryingly neutral.
"Regardless," Clank chimed in, "I question the functionality of the governing body if the man behind it was given the position so easily."
"Son of a Qwark…" Gritting his teeth, Ratchet prayed for the future of alternate-dimension Polaris. Sure, his impressions of Quantum so far were fairly positive, much better than Qwark ever was, but this was insane! Handing off responsibility for the galaxy without any proper thought? Absurd!
"Did someone say my name?"
Accompanying a new voice, the doors from behind creaked as they opened and closed shut. Heavy steps approached as Ratchet looked up, only requiring a glimpse of color to confirm exactly who the newcomer was.
"Hey everyone, how's it going? Good? Good!" Captain Qwark said with a cocky smile.
Oh boy.
"Qwark!" Quantum ran over to his green counterpart, greeting him with an arm wrestle handshake and a hug. "You made it!"
"As someone with only the greatest hearts of gold, it would be against my very nature to let a brother down!" Each of them beamed at the other as they shook hands once again.
"Son of two Qwarks..." Ratchet muttered, rubbing his head.
"Excuse me, Qwark." Clank walked up to them with his hands behind his back. "What exactly are you doing in this dimension? I thought you had a meeting with the Fongoid elders."
"Excellent question, Clank—nice arm, by the way—with my masculine charm and incredible wit, I quickly convinced the Fongoid tribes into accepting the damages to their villages and rebuilding like they used to do. 'Broken pieces are the means to a new, beautiful start,' as I like to say." With a hollow thunk, Qwark tapped his head twice, as if to showcase something immense within it. Ratchet facepalmed. "But since I'm done with that, I'm helping our good friend here set up this galaxy's new defense force."
"You...are?" Clank tilted his head.
"That's right!" Quantum gave Qwark a solid pat on the back. "He told me all about the accomplishments of his Q-Force, and considering that you two"—he pointed at Ratchet and Clank—"were personally recruited by him, I was impressed!"
"You're impressed by us?" Ratchet asked.
"Of course! Qwark clearly has a knack for spotting talent if he has the galaxy's—no, the dimension's—best heroes on his team."
Ratchet needed a double take. Did he just hear that right? Did Qwark, or at least his counterpart, actually acknowledge their skills and efforts?
"Wow! I-I mean, thank—"
"And as my personal advisor, his experience being Galactic President in your dimension will also come in handy!"
"—What."
Qwark lightly punched his counterpart on his arm. "As expected of you, Quantum, you've made a good call. Together, with our compassion, courage, dashing good looks, and iron-hard abs, we will show this formerly-oppressed galaxy the sweetest, most savory taste of freedom."
"I am eternally grateful for your graciousness." Quantum bumped his fist with Qwark and then guided him over to his desk as they kept on conversing.
"Not that I didn't believe you last night," Rivet said from Ratchet's right. Quiet, yet just within a close enough distance for only him to hear. "But seeing this in person is just…"
Both Lombaxes watched the scene before them with dumbfounded expressions. Qwark and Quantum flexed and posed in various stances, with the latter repeating the phrases uttered by the former. Over and over again.
"Remember, forty-five percent strength."
"Forty-five percent strength."
They curled their biceps.
"Sixty percent bravery."
"Sixty percent bravery."
They puffed out their chests.
"And ten percent raw intelligence!"
"Ten percent raw intelligence!"
Their muscles threatened to rip through their clothes, even through Quantum's black suit, as they flexed their arms, chests, necks, and...growled.
"That doesn't even add up right…" Rivet mumbled.
"Now you see what I have to deal with," Ratchet replied at the same volume, shuddering.
Disbelief cast itself over Rivet as she looked on with an expression best described as a mixture of wonder and horror. "Yep…and now he's converting Quantum into him."
"Looks like you're gonna have to deal with it, too."
"Looks like it. With or without Nefarious, this galaxy is doomed."
A perfectly timed sigh of despair came from the two, causing them to exchange smirks.
"Pfft..."
Ratchet and Rivet attempted to stifle their snickers. Failing, they quickly rose into chuckles, then the valve burst and they ended up bellowing with laughter. The two held on each other's shoulders in a struggle to maintain balance and not collapse on the ground, unable to contain themselves.
Everything stopped as the two Lombaxes were grabbed and lifted by Qwark's hulking arms. He held them close to him, almost squeezing the air out of their lungs.
"Ratchet!" Qwark said. "I almost forgot that you found yourself another Lombax buddy! Looks like the Dimensionator worked after all, didn't it?"
Trapped, they both grabbed onto Qwark's arms and attempted to pry themselves free. For a brief moment, it seemed as if Rivet was making good progress, almost enough to slip out, but unfortunately Qwark's vice-like grip had secured them all-too-tightly.
"Qw...ark…" Ratchet wheezed.
"No words in any outer-galactic language can describe how happy I am for you, my greatest sidekick." He squeezed harder and pushed the two closer. "I know you've been down in the dumps lately, but things can only get brighter now that she's here to cure your deadly case of 'Lombax loneliness'. I'm rooting for your happy ending, buddy!"
Turning his head to Rivet below him, Qwark tried to whisper to her. "Be gentle with him, he's such a sensitive little Lombax. Brave, but sensitive." It was a failed endeavor, for even his voice at the lowest possible volume was audible to everyone.
"Qwark...what...are you…" Still trying to get away from Qwark, although in vain, Ratchet looked over to Rivet.
She was frozen as her eyes laid upon him, her light purple-grey face faintly shaded with red.
Snapping out of it, Rivet shook her head and, with more vigor than ever, thrashed beneath Qwark's arms.
"Alright everyone, here's the rundown," Quantum said.
Just like that, Qwark released the Lombaxes and focused his attention on the President. Ratchet and Rivet yelped as they hit the ground with a thump, rubbing their rears to check for bruises.
Quantum sat behind his desk, giving everyone a hardened stare. From horseplaying to strictly business, the atmosphere in the room changed so quickly that Ratchet massaged his neck over the tonal whiplash.
"We've got a conference to attend at the tower's entrance in a few minutes. Since all media before this was directly run by Nefarious, there's no 'press' currently, so we'll be talking directly to the citizens." Hands on the desk, Quantum clasped them together, cracking his neck to the side while doing so.
"What you all need to know right now is that we have Phantom leading the search for Nefarious' assistant with Ms. Zurkon and some other resistance members. There's only some scarce leads, but we don't know what Nefarious may have left behind for her, so we need to find her asap. We'll also need to do a body count, but from what I can tell, pretty much all of Nefarious' lethal troops were wiped to extinction yesterday."
Rivet and Kit glanced at each other, nodding in mutual satisfaction.
"Last bit of news for today, the other Polaris' government has sent over some representatives for the time being to serve as chairman for some of the other planets, at least until some native can step up for it." Quantum pulled out a sheet of paper from his coat's inner pocket. Interest piqued, Ratchet's ears stood up as he leaned in, ready to listen. "Let's see here. Cobalia, Kortog, Mukow, Igliak, Reepor…"
Reepor?
Quantum's voice faded into white noise as Ratchet stared off into empty space.
The Cragmite home world…are they in this dimension too?
"...and the remainder of Verdigris Sector. So, it seems that for you four, your appearances on those planets won't be needed at all. Any questions?" Stowing the list away into the desk's cabinet, Quantum looked up at the rest of the group after.
Ratchet raised his hand. "Yeah, just one...are there still Cragmites on Reepor?"
"Cragmites? Haven't heard of those guys in a while, not since Nefarious..." With his finger, Quantum made a slicing motion across his throat.
Clank's antenna flashed as he snapped his head towards Ratchet. The male Lombax too was stunned as he made eye contact with his partner, both of them bewildered.
"Ugh, evil, disgusting, hideous creatures they were," Qwark said. "Especially with their scales and weird teeth. I'm glad Tachyon's gone, right guys?"
Lost in silent communication between each other, Ratchet and Clank paid no attention to Qwark's shoutout.
"Tachyon? Some old foe of yours?" Quantum asked.
"Yeah. Terrible guy, you wouldn't want to meet him if you could." Qwark shook in his suit as he hugged himself with a grimace.
"Interesting. Well, we'll have all the time in the galaxy to trade stories later." Pulling back his sleeve, Quantum checked his watch and stood up. "Anyways, it's time for us to head out. I hope you're all fine with public speaking."
"Wait, what?" Rivet and Kit shouted.
No time to waste, he and Qwark exited the room. Rivet and Kit ran for the duo shortly after with worry etched over both of their faces, leaving Ratchet and Clank in the office.
"I don't even…" Ratchet massaged his forehead. "You're thinking what I'm thinking, right?"
"Yes," Clank said. "The possibility of Cragmites, or perhaps alternate-Cragmites, somehow slipped my mind, yet..."
"If Nefarious was the reason why they're gone in this dimension, then what about..."
As Ratchet's voice dropped off, he and Clank gawked at each other with their mouths wide open.
"You guys coming?" Qwark's voice echoed down the hallway.
"Dude, we gotta talk about this later."
"Agreed," Clank said, and through the doors where everyone had just left, he and Ratchet followed.
Cragmites… Ratchet pondered while exiting the room. If history doesn't exactly repeat itself in other dimensions, then why aren't there any other Lombaxes in this one?
Bright as it could be, the sun nearly blinded them as they stepped onto the stage and looked out towards the crowd. Rather than the usual journalists accompanied by the clicks and flashes of cameras, there were instead robotic citizens by the hundreds, possibly thousands, grouped up and all competing with each other in a shouting match in hopes that their voices would be heard over anyone else.
"Where's the Emperor now?"
"He was supposed to deliver my tax refund two weeks ago! Are you gonna make me wait, too?"
"Why'd you have to replace him? I was doing just fine with him!"
"Who's going to make the sick beats for Club Nefarious now?"
"You're definitely not a robot!"
Quantum's knees quaked in fear as he stood at the podium. Perhaps this was too far beyond the scale of what he initially anticipated. With a shaky breath, he tapped the microphone twice before speaking into it.
"Good aftern—"
*SCREECH*
The feedback from the microphone and speakers caused everyone on the stage and in the audience to cringe and groan. This was certainly not off to a good start.
"—Afternoon… I am Carl Lepton Quantum, your new Planetary Chairman as well as Galactic Preside—"
"A squishy is our leader now?"
"We're doomed!"
"I'd leave this galaxy if I could afford it!"
"I waited over twenty hours in line at the Nefarious Welfare Center and got nothing! What are you gonna do to help with that?"
The crowd burst into another fit of disorder as they roared, overpowering Quantum's speech. Meanwhile, Ratchet and co. watched from behind, getting more anxious as the spectacle unfolded.
If damage is inevitable, then let's pray for the least amount of it.
"Uhh, you know what? Why don't I let you citizens talk to your heroes!" Quantum ran behind Rivet and Kit and pushed them forward right into the microphone.
"A Lombax?"
"It's the rebel!"
"Is she going to kill us too?"
Shocked at the accusation, Rivet was swift to speak. "No, I'm not going to kill anyone! We're trying to help you guys!"
"If you wanted to help, then why'd you get rid of our Emperor?" a voice from the crowd yelled.
"Because he was evil!" she shouted back.
"He brought peace to our galaxy!"
"No, he brought you oppression and stripped away your freedoms! Don't you all see what he's brainwashed you into thinking?"
"You're the brainwashed one! The city wasn't in a mess like this until you killed the only robot who brought order!"
"Your so-called Emperor," Rivet said mockingly, "mandated weekly minimum purchase limits, restricted interplanetary travel, and forced you guys to work all day every day while you hardly got a cut of that! Is that what you think order is?"
A back-and-forth debate formed between Rivet and the hecklers in the crowd, and with each argument, both sides got louder and louder. Try as she might, Rivet could not find any common ground with the disgruntled citizens; reason was met with verbal aggression.
"Hey! Isn't that the Emperor's warbot?"
All eyes were now on Kit, who nearly retracted her entire neck and arms back into her body in response. If robots could sweat, then Kit would've already formed a pool of it given how she looked to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
"What are they doing here?"
"Is it gonna kill us?"
Rivet stood still, speechless, as the attacks were redirected towards Kit, never-ending and ever-piercing.
The hell is happening here?
Fists clenched, blood vessels threatening to burst, and teeth bared, the patience that Ratchet had built over the years of heroic service was already wearing thin. With Clank next to him, he pulled the two girls back by their shoulders and replaced them on the front stage.
"Another Lom—"
"Hey, pal? Shut up. Try to listen for one second, would you?" Ratchet looked at the last dissident with a deadpan stare. The anger in his voice contrasted with his neutral face, delivering one message to all citizens: he wasn't going to be as friendly as the last two speakers.
The audience finally muted.
Clank tugged on Ratchet's arm, and in response he lowered the microphone to his height.
"We...thank you all for your participation in coming here today," Clank said, his voice reverberating through the ambience of the still crowd. "I understand that you are all upset at the situation currently; to say that this transition of power will be smooth would be nothing but a bad joke."
"Yeah, you got that right!" another bot shouted, only to quiver in his metallic shell as Ratchet shot a snarl in his direction.
"What we need right now is your cooperation," Clank continued. "Because Emperor Nefarious is no longer in power, we are free to discuss the future of this planet and city. We are free to raise questions and concerns over leadership. We are free to voice dissenting opinions and engage in proper discourse. Would you have been able to shout, as you all were just doing, under your former Emperor's control?"
Murmurs spread throughout the crowd, with scattered phrases of 'I guess he's right', 'that's a good point', and 'I didn't think of that' being said.
With a satisfied hum, Clank spoke again. "Henceforth, in order for—"
Qwark took the microphone from its stand. "Citizens of Corson and the rest of Polaris, allow me to introduce myself."
"Aw, crap," Ratchet said. This will be good.
"I...am Captain Qwark. And you"—he dramatically pointed his fingers at the crowd—"are this universe's luckiest winners."
Crickets chirped as everyone silently watched Qwark speak with his bombastic words and animated body movements.
"As of today, all of you are to embark on a journey of mystery, suspense, and rewards. We will take the reins upon not just this city, not just this planet, but the whole galaxy, and turn it into a place where robots, organics, and all other lifeforms can live in peace and harmony! Yes, right now we need to find our composure. Right now, there may be some moments of doubt and suffering as we choose our direction, but we need to suffer before we are to succeed. Do you agree?"
After a moment of hesitation, the crowd weakly said, "Yeah…?"
"What struggles we may come across during these times will be nothing but insignificant, for in the future we will prosper."
A metal claw shot up in the middle of the group. "What about all the damages from the rifts? There's a giant hole in my apartment's walls."
"Look at it this way, citizen, what were your walls like before this?"
"Uh, intact?"
Rapidly shaking his head, Qwark gave a hearty chuckle. "Not quite the answer that I was looking for. How did you feel about the color of it?"
"Oh, well, I can't say I was very fond of the color."
"Exactly!" Qwark said and snapped his fingers. "And now, when you rebuild your walls you have the opportunity to get the color you've always wished for!"
Ratchet raised his eyebrows. There's no way that would convince anyon—
"Ohhh!" The answering robot's electronic face displayed a surprised emoticon.
"Sounds like a great idea, doesn't it, everyone?"
"Yeah!" the crowd cheered.
Nevermind.
"We will fix the Day Spa that you all love and add even better music to the Club! Do you agree?"
"Yeah!"
"Broken pieces are the means to a new, beautiful start! Do. You. Agree?" Qwark cried, and in response the crowd nearly screamed back in an emotional outburst.
"Yeaaahhhh!"
"And spearheading this ambitious operation is my brilliant, handsome friend, Captain Quantum! Everyone, give our captain a round of applause, will ya?"
It was more than Qwark could ask for, because rather than applause, the crowd roared in excitement as he gestured to his red counterpart and offered him to speak.
"Quantum-Qwark! Quantum-Qwark! Quantum-Qwark!"
With a burst of newfound bravery, Quantum gingerly accepted the microphone from Qwark. "Yes, we will rebuild and we will be better than ever! I want everyone...to talk to their neighbors! And those neighbors talk to their other neighbors! Talk to your neighbor's neighbors! Help each other out and build a greater tomorrow together!"
The Lombaxes and their respective robotic partners watched the act in awe. With the noises of the crowd reaching deafening levels, Ratchet attempted to cover his ears to no avail; they were too big for his hands. He looked over at Rivet, who had her eyes squeezed shut as she wrapped her ears against her head, trying to find the optimal point to cover them.
She opened her eyes, darting from Quantum to him. As she noticed him, she nervously grinned and spoke.
"Th...s...ane!" Her voice, drowned out by everything else, came in streams of partial words.
Ratchet tilted his head towards her. "What?" he hopelessly shouted.
"This is insane!"
Although he was just barely able to make it out, he replied back, "Yes, it is!" and smiled with her.
"Everybody, you know what to do!" They redirected their attention to Quantum as he yelled at the top of his lungs. "Let's get started!"
The audience of thousands immediately dispersed while still chanting, "Quantum-Qwark!" Within mere minutes, the area by Nefarious Tower—soon-to-be renamed—became empty, with only the speakers on stage remaining.
"Qwark." Captain Quantum sucked in his breath and firmly placed a hand on Qwark's shoulder. "Thank you. I honestly felt trapped until you stepped in."
"Don't mention it! If I can do it, then so can you." Wrapping an arm around Quantum, Qwark led him off the stage. "Now that that's over, let's get some healthy lunch and I'll tell you everything there is to being a hero and a President."
Their voices faded out as the large red and green figures disappeared past the horizon, with the last audible piece of the conversation being, "Say, is there a Galaxy Burger nearby?"
"Well," Ratchet said after a long moment of silence, "that just happened." Staring off where Quantum and Qwark had just left, he shook his head. "I've never seen him be so nice and helpful to someone before."
"This is the Qwark that I always knew was there, deep down," Clank said.
"Yeah…I wonder what the catch is this time?"
Rolling his eyes, Clank gave Ratchet a light shove on his arm, to which the Lombax chortled. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" Ratchet turned to the other two members of the party, who were both staring off into the distance, contemplation painted over their faces.
"How're you guys holding up?" Ratchet asked.
Rivet broke her stare to make contact with Ratchet, only to quickly look away. "That was kinda...really overwhelming." She scratched the back of her head. "Speaking of which, great job on the, uh, talking and all. We kinda suck at it."
"Heh, no worries, you'll get used to it. Those guys were kinda a bunch of loonies anyways. How about you, Kit? You okay?"
Kit's gaze did not move as her mechanical eyelids raised upwards, exhaustion being the only emotion she displayed. Blinking slowly, she sighed.
I'll have to talk to her later.
"...I am beginning to feel a bit fatigued," Kit said. "Could we go somewhere to refresh?"
As the only other person familiar with the dimension, and hopefully the best local joints to stop by, all eyes were on Rivet.
With a sheepish smile, she answered, "Zurkies?"
Electronic music played over the speakers hung throughout the ceilings as the gastropub was filled with chatter from all sorts of patrons. Blargs, robot pirates, the Morts, Goons-4-Less employees, etc., it was a surreal sight to behold, to see all different types of people, some who would be enemies, some who would be allies, and others who were more ambiguous when it came to morality, eating in the same room without a care in the world for anything else but the food and drinks in their hand.
All together, it was noisy, but still peaceful. A welcome change compared to the fiasco that was the earlier conference.
Four sets of chair legs screeched on the ground as Ratchet, Clank, Rivet, and Kit slid their seats into their table. At each corner, menus had already been placed, awaiting for arriving customers to peer through them.
Grabbing the menu facing him, Ratchet skimmed through the pages of food and prices. "Hey, uh." He looked at Rivet, waiting for her to catch his call. "The leftovers you had were pretty good, what was it?"
"I know right? I get it all the time." With her own menu, Rivet slid a page forward, pointing at one particular picture with its label.
"Three-sauce variety pasta with grilled puffoid," he read out loud. "And it comes with stuffed garlic bread? Oh man, that sounds—"
"Ratchet…" Clank said in a warning tone.
"Whaaat?"
"I thought you said that you felt terrible about not actively staying in shape. Is that no longer the case?"
"I still am! We're, you know, hanging out with friends! Why not have something nice for once?" Continuing to survey the menu, Ratchet admired the beautifully shot photos printed next to each listed meal.
"That is understandable, but we both know that it never ends up being 'once'."
With a flippant scoff, Ratchet turned to his robotic partner. "Clank."
The mentioned robot looked back with narrowed, judging eyes. "Ratchet."
"ZURKON JR."
Everyone at the table yelped as Zurkon Jr. flew to their table at lightning speed and spoke, aka screamed.
"WELCOME, FIENDS, WHAT SHALL YOU STUFF YOURSELVES WITH? OH, AND MY DAD WANTS ME TO TELL YOU: EVERYTHING IS ON THE HOUSE TODAY! FOR YOUR VICTORY!"
On the house? Sweet!
Ratchet rubbed his hands together, eager to order the biggest meal that, according to Rivet's earlier praise and his impressions from the leftovers, must have been the finest that her dimension had to offer. "Let me get a—"
"Ahem." Clank cleared his throat, but did no more to indicate his disappointment. With a frown, the Lombax turned the menu to the next page and pointed at the largest item in the 'Health and Healthier' section.
"Just get me the vegan salad…" Ratchet said, the lack of will to live having left him and his voice.
"A WIMPY SALAD FOR THE FUZZY YELLOW ONE. WHAT ELSE WILL THERE BE?"
"Oo, uh." Flipping through the menu, Rivet eventually stopped on the desserts section. "How about the honey marmalade pie?"
"PIE FOR THE ONE WITH THE EYELASHES AND BUSHY TAIL. AS FOR MY FELLOW ROBOTS?"
Clank placed the menu down and closed it. "Hmm, I am not feeling too hungry right now. What do you recommend for drinks?"
"MY DAD REFINES HIS OWN OIL, EXTRACTED FROM THIS DYING PLANET HE FOUND. I DRINK IT EVERY DAY EVEN THOUGH HE TELLS ME NOT TO. VERY GOOD."
"O...kay. I would like a glass of that, please."
"Make that two...please," Kit added.
"OKAY. I WILL BE BACK SOON. DO NOT LEAVE."
Once Zurkon Jr. left, Ratchet crossed his arms with a scornful look. "So while I'm forced to watch my waist, she can have dessert for lunch while you and Kit get premium oil? What gives?"
"Robots do not need to watch themselves for that matter," Clank refuted. "As for Rivet, she is clearly more physically fit than you."
"That's…" Ratchet made a glance at Rivet, whose slim figure and toned arm was suddenly more pronounced than ever. "...Nevermind. You've always enjoyed it when I suffer, haven't you?"
"It just so happens that your suffering benefits your overall health; I have nothing to do with it...even if it is a bit humorous sometimes." Clank chuckled, though innocent and amusing to an unfamiliar eye, undoubtedly sadistic to Ratchet.
True to his word, Zurkon Jr. quickly returned as he slid two cups of oil down the table as well as two cups of water. Right afterwards, a plate of greens piled on top of extra greens was plopped in front of Ratchet.
"ENJOY." Zurkon Jr. zoomed off, serving other patrons with his polarizing, yet oddly charming, screeching voice.
Ratchet slouched in his seat as he scowled at the salad. There was no other color on his plate besides green. No sauce, no crunchy croutons, and not even any tiny bits of fruit or more flavorful vegetables. Was this some kind of sick joke? Why did he choose this? Why would they serve this?
With little enthusiasm, he picked up his fork. "Looks...great."
A snicker from across grabbed his attention. Rivet sneakily averted from any eye contact before Ratchet could catch her. Licking her lips, she dug into her pie, gobbling it up with one giant forkful at a time.
But there was something off.
The pie.
The pie that was twice the size of her head.
She's gonna die eating that!
Jaw agape, Ratchet gave a baffled look. As she was still chewing, Rivet looked back and paused. "What?"
"You're...just gonna eat all of that?"
She swallowed before scooping as much pie as her fork could carry and held it in front of him. "I have a thing for sweet stuff. You want some?"
"Er, no thanks. I'm good." Copying her, Ratchet stabbed his fork into as many layers of lettuce and spinach as possible, then proceeded to shove it in his mouth.
Rivet watched with a side grin. A sign of judgement. A non-believer. It was up to him to prove her wrong.
He swallowed the salad, and though his body and mind both tried to reject it, it slowly travelled down his throat. Shuddering, he resisted the urge to gag at the taste. It was the kind that was too healthy for its own good, the kind that was impossible for anyone, no matter what species they were, to enjoy.
"De...licious…"
Pain.
Ratchet's ears and tail went limp; despair was his all-too-familiar enemy. Though one could say he was being overdramatic, the concept of having to consume a healthy salad in the context of a free lunch was downright criminal.
This is sad.
"My offer still stands," Rivet said, never leaving the fork out of his proximity. "I don't mind sharing."
"...Not while he's here." Ratchet pointed at the silver robot to his side, who rolled his eyes and sipped his oil.
With a smirk that oozed the greatest amount of smugness possible in the whole multiverse, Rivet shoved the piece close, mere centimeters from his mouth. "Come on, try some!"
The scent of the orange marmalade would've brought him to his knees if he wasn't already sitting. In addition, the Sirangian honey glaze on the freshly baked, flaky golden brown crust glistened under the light above their table, beckoning for him to stop holding back.
Ratchet salivated, but caught his hanging jaw before he could drool a puddle.
Must. Not. Give. In.
He gulped and creaked his neck towards Clank, a pleading look in his eyes. "Aren't you gonna stop her?"
Clank's green eyes darted back and forth between the two Lombaxes. "On the contrary, no. I think I will let this happen." He laid back with his arms behind his head.
"Hehe, come on, Ratchet! One bite won't kill you, it's really good!"
Rivet kept on testing his limits as she pushed the fork closer.
And closer.
And closer.
Until the fork was already in his mouth.
Begrudgingly, he chewed and chewed, yet couldn't help but relish in the perfect sweetness that was the pie. Honey and orange harmonizing with the warm buttery crust, it was a symphony of all the greatness in the explored universe materialized in an edible form.
Was it one of the best desserts he had ever eaten? Yes. Was Rivet's effort to share appreciated? Much so. Was being fed by her worth sacrificing his dignity? That was judgement reserved for later, maybe he deserved it for putting up little resistance. His face morphed from bliss to embarrassment to self-disgust.
"Interesting…" Clank muttered. Though likely only meant for himself, Ratchet's large ears caught it with ease. "Oh, Kit, would you come outside with me for a moment, please?"
"Huh?" Alarmed, Kit, who was awfully quiet while she drank her oil, jumped out of her seat. "Uh, okay…"
Letting Kit lead the way out of the gastropub, Clank followed, and no further words were exchanged at the table.
Actually, wait.
What was with the strange look that Clank had on his face? The smirk that he gave him before exiting the room?
Before Ratchet could call him out, Clank and Kit had already left.
After the two were gone, the remaining Lombaxes went back to their respective meals. Ratchet could only poke at his salad while Rivet retracted her fork from him and ate her pie.
"So, verdict?" Rivet asked.
"I'm definitely coming here again before we go back to my dimension." Fingers twitching, Ratchet tapped on the table, calming the rush from tasting something so delicious after just eating something so abysmal.
She snorted as she dug through her tray, talking between bites. "Is that your way of asking for more?"
"No no, you enjoy yourself. Next time though, I'll have to come back without Clank. Make sure he doesn't know that I'm gone." Ratchet gave the salad another try, maybe his first bite was just a case of bad luck.
With her fork, Rivet pointed at him and the empty seat by his side. "You guys aren't actually mad at each other, are you?"
The salad still sucked. It was just wet leaves with a slight hint of earthiness to them. He took a swig of water to cleanse his tongue of...the lack of taste.
"Me and Clank?" Ratchet placed the glass down. "Nah, we do this all the time. He's kinda right anyways."
"Is he? Clank is right about a lot of things, but you look great to me."
"Eh, I've been in better shape before. We haven't really been in action for years, not until last week."
Rivet sighed, another portion of pie in her mouth as she chewed. "I think you're fine. Your dimension seems really peaceful though."
"Mmm…it is for the most part, but kinda boring. Then again, complaining about everyone being too safe sounds bad, doesn't it?"
"Heh, yeah. You think mine could be the same after this?"
"It definitely will. Honestly, even though fighting the 'Emperor' was the most chaotic thing ever, with the dimensions collapsing and all, it was pretty straightforward."
A clanging sound came as Rivet dropped her fork. "Seriously? You consider fighting giant robots while phasing through dimensions to be straightforward?"
"Hold on, hear me out!" Hands up in the air, Ratchet guarded himself. "You've used a hologuise before, right?"
"For spying on Nefarious, of course. I'm guessing you've got another fun story?" Rivet asked with an intrigued tone.
"Yep. I don't know if it's the same for this dimension, but the first edition hologuise sucked. Especially when you can't fight, jump, or even run with it."
Shoulders relaxed, Rivet picked up her fork, eating again, but with an open ear. "Okay...I'm listening."
"Picture this—" Ratchet gestured towards the ceiling "—dozens of sentry bots more than twice your size, force fields that blocked every other corridor, and giant chasms that you had to fly over."
"Pfft! So you basically couldn't do anything useful while disguised?"
"No, the hologuise was awful! Seriously, what Gadgetron was thinking? So with the sentry bots, I'd have the disguise on when I walked towards them, but as soon as they turned away, bam! I take the hologuise off, whack them with my wrench a few times or blast them with my launcher. Hologuise or weapon, I could choose either, but never both."
"That sounds like a pain in the tail. At least the disguise worked, right?"
"It shouldn't have. Again, this was the first edition; it didn't change your height. So compared to these huge robots, I was just this tiny little idiot who was trying to blend in. I couldn't even walk right when disguised; it was more like a really clumsy waddle."
With his top tier acting skills, Ratchet parodied his struggle to move with the hologuise. Arms stuck out and muscles stiffened, he toddled around the table. All the while, Rivet snickered and covered her mouth with both her hands as she shook with mirth.
"But they still bought it," she said in disbelief.
"But they still bought it!" After looping a full circle, Ratchet plopped himself back into his seat. "Clank was so fed up with them, he kept muttering stuff like, 'robots shouldn't be this gullible.'" Ratchet made a crude imitation of Clank's voice, but thankfully the robot wasn't around. "And when there was a force field in my way, I waved at them to see if they'd turn it off for me."
"Please don't tell me that worked," Rivet said, picking up her glass of water.
"It worked! They even waved back!"
Rivet nearly spat out her drink as she laughed her heart out, pounding her hands on the table. But her laugh, there was something alluring about it. The pitch, the frequency, the rhythm of it, the smile that accompanied it, everything altogether made it so contagious that Ratchet just had to match her level of energy. He had trouble catching his breath as he kept cackling himself to tears.
"A-And—hehe—and then there was the tyhrra-guise, oh man that thing was amazing."
"What? What happened?" Rivet leaned in, her face so close to the point where her breath could be felt. Ratchet froze.
"Oh, um." A rush of nervousness hit him. It was so inexplicable, why did he feel anxious out of the blue? Regardless, he had to finish the story; they were in such a good mood. "It worked alright. I looked just like your average tyhrranoid, I could actually walk and jump fine, and the guise let me speak their language natively."
As if looking for the missing punchline, Rivet cocked her head to the side, expecting for the joke to land.
"Listen, I'm not the greatest at social engineering," Ratchet continued, "so when I had to sneak through their base, I was kinda nervous. Clank even told me, 'it was nice knowing you', before I left."
He looked at the empty seat next to him, reminiscing over the one time he was at Clank's shorter height.
"For the first guys I used it on, it worked without a hitch. Second time, they got suspicious, so what did I say?"
Rivet watched him, unsure, lips pressed together as she waited.
"I said, 'I am not a Lombax.'"
The patience clearly paid off, because Rivet bellowed in joy at the delivery, and with her infectious laugh came Ratchet's as well. For a solid minute, Rivet and Ratchet laughed nonstop until their faces threatened to stay a permanent red, regardless of their fur color. Eventually, it died down to scattered chuckles, a more reasonable volume that was probably the best for the other patrons nearby, more respectable.
"Alright, I'll take your word for it," Rivet said as she wiped her tears. "Terrible hologuises beat dimensions collapsing."
Giving one final chuckle, Ratchet leaned back into his chair. "Moral of the story though: no matter how bad your disguise is, there's always someone to fall for it."
"Heheh, I'll drink to that!" Rivet raised her glass to Ratchet.
Their glasses clinked together as they toasted, prompting Rivet to gulp her whole drink as if it were her first time having water in forever. Ratchet watched with a tender smile as he followed her. Although it may have just been water, he enjoyed it anyway.
Though, he made a mental promise to buy her and him something more fun to drink next time they came to the pub.
After finishing, Ratchet looked behind Rivet, where the entrance to the room stood and through which their robotic companions had previously left. Using the moment to catch his breath, he propped his elbow on the table, rested his chin in his palm, and looked down. The salad was still right there, right in front, mocking him. And though he couldn't finish it, he could at least mess with its remains. With his barely-used fork, he pushed the layers of leaves around.
"Huh, Clank and Kit have been gone for a while," he said. "What do you think they're talking about?"
"..."
No reply. Previously overjoyous, she had turned silent.
"R-Rivet?"
Saying her name still felt weird. Though they had already broken the ice and were quick to throw away the formalities, saying her name every time only served as a reminder as to who exactly he was talking to, who exactly he had with him—the only other Lombax—sitting right across the table. And these reminders made him wary again of the inevitable future.
But that wasn't a concern at the moment, for what she ended up replying with cut off his thoughts and dragged him back into the present that mattered the most.
"...I'm a terrible partner."
Ratchet stopped playing with his salad as he looked up to Rivet, whose rapid craving for sweetness evaporated as she stopped eating. She averted her gaze, avoiding eye contact to instead fixate on the steaming partially eaten pie below.
"Kit...I should've stood up for her."
Hoping to get her to look at him, Ratchet leaned down to where Rivet was looking. "Hey, at least we stopped them."
"No, you stopped them. All I did was just watch her get taunted by everyone." She buried her face into her arms as they laid against the table, muffling her voice. "I don't know, I just couldn't figure out what to do. I'm supposed to be her partner, but I couldn't even defend her from a bunch of dumb robots."
Ratchet patted her arm. "You guys are both new to this 'partner' thing, give it some time and it'll get better."
"There's no way you were as bad as me when you first met Clank."
"Actually, I was even worse."
Rivet peeked her head out, still hidden between her arms, but just high enough to expose her eyes as she peered at Ratchet.
"Remember what I said last night about Qwark tricking us into fighting a Blargian snagglebeast? Yeah, Clank is the reason why we fell for that trap. I threatened to sell him for scrap after that."
"I don't believe you," she said with her still-subdued voice.
"I'm dead serious! We had some rough patches when we started working together. I wanted to explore the galaxy; he wanted to stop Drek. I would've left him if I could, but I needed him to start the ship; he wouldn't leave me alone no matter what, but wouldn't start the ship unless I helped him. We didn't get along."
In response, Rivet closed her eyes in deep thought, and upon reopening them, briefly shook at what she saw.
He copied her. Arms on the table, chin between the arms, his eyes meeting hers, both Lombaxes on the same level.
"Talk to her," he said. "And if you really think you need to, apologize. It lets her know that you're thinking about her."
Rivet nodded and lifted her head up all the way. "Dang it, you're right. I know that she's trying her hardest..." She looked at her arm for a moment in silence, not blinking once before turning back to Ratchet.
"Thing is," she said, pausing to gulp and exhale. "Ki—"
The sounds of two pairs of metallic footsteps approached, and Rivet ceased mid-sentence. Clank and Kit arrived at the table and took their seats.
"You guys good?" Ratchet asked.
Nodding, Clank reached over the table to grab his cup of oil. "Yes, we were just talking about...specifications. I think Al would be delighted to meet her."
"Funny that you mention that, I was talking with him last night." Ratchet pointed at Rivet and Kit. "You guys should totally meet him sometime."
"Right, that guy. I know," Rivet said.
"You know? What do you mean?"
Eyes widened, Rivet's tail puffed out as she froze, looking like a cat that was caught stealing fish at a merchant's stand.
"Well, I, um, you know, the, uh—" She stopped speaking as she frantically shoved her fork into her mouth, chewing the remains of her pie—of which there was still a little more than half of left. "Mmm! Ratchet, here have some more!"
"Wait, I can't—"
Too late. Without even taking the time to grab another fork, she took hers, scooped a chunk of pie, and shoved it in Ratchet's mouth.
Sweet. Rich. Buttery. Orange-y.
He stopped complaining.
The rest of lunch went by with Rivet feeding herself and Ratchet until the whole tray was empty. Clank and Kit watched in a comforting silence, bemused at the scene while sipping their oil through bendy straws that Zurkon Jr. came back to give them.
Minutes prior...
They stood to the side of the lobby, where the occasional figure walked through as their weapons, if they had any, were scanned and wiped from their holo-packs.
Clank kept a careful eye on Kit, who had a seemingly permanent sullen expression as she looked elsewhere. It was almost as if she was unaware of his presence, as if the whole reason for her being out here wasn't because he had just asked her to come with him.
"Kit," he said, drawing her attention away from whatever she could've been thinking of. "How are you?"
She blinked twice and crossed her arms. "I am…fine. I know what you are thinking, but, no, I am fine and I can handle it."
"Are you sure? You seem a little quiet."
"This is how I naturally am!" Although it may have been the truth, the overly defensive facade was transparent; she was a terrible liar.
"Rivet told me everything back at Zordoom. There is no need to hide anything."
"...So you know that I…"
"Yes."
Panic found its way onto her face as the bulbs on her head flashed briefly. "D-Does Ratchet know?"
"That, I am uncertain of. But, he wi—"
"Please, you cannot tell him!" Kit grabbed and shook his shoulder parts, eliciting a yelp from him. "What do I do? After everything, people still see me as a threat. And, for Rivet…"
He reached for her hands as they kept a grip on him. "You are not a threat, Kit. I know that, Ratchet knows that, and Rivet knows too."
She frowned, looking right through him.
"We both agreed to put it behind us…" Letting go of Clank, Kit murmured an apology and sat against the wall, wrapping her arms around her legs. "But something like that leaves scars. Not just physical, but something far worse."
"Then it is a matter of making it up to her; you will need to pull through." Clank stood in front of Kit, posed with his hands on his metal waist. "Whereas she may not be ready by the time you are, instead you will work hard to prove yourself to Rivet, to overcome whatever mental barricade she may have put up."
"But, you and Ratchet—"
"Ratchet and I were much younger when we met, and we were incredibly naive. Although we did not share a troubling past like you and Rivet, you two have the advantage of being older; you can handle this as responsible, emotionally mature adults."
Remaining in her position, Kit hugged her legs closer to her body.
"You may be doubting yourself, but consider this," Clank said. "Was it not your conscious choice to return to aid her as she fought Nefarious' army? Even after she had told you to stay behind when we escaped Zordoom?"
She let go of her legs as a fire lit in her eyes. Not red, but a scorching blue.
There we go.
"It will be a long, arduous process of gaining her utmost trust, but I assure you that it pays off. Of course, that is only if you want to be her partner." Clank kneeled down, searching into her eyes for any vulnerability. "Do you?"
"I do," she said firmly. No hesitation, and she gave him a confident look that beckoned for him to challenge it. He obliged, waiting for her to crack as he placed her under the same scrutiny that usually was successful on Ratchet.
As this contest of dares went on, both pairs of eyes intensified, and it seemed like they were going to continue forever.
Until the cheers of familiar voices interrupted everything.
Startled, the two searched for the source of the noise, finding that it came from the main pub area. Clank walked to the doorway and leaned into it.
There, in the corner of the room, were the two Lombaxes exactly where he left them. Both were roaring with laughter, almost making a scene as Ratchet energetically spoke while parading around the table in a strange motion. Perhaps it was a game of charades? Perhaps it was some joke he didn't understand?
There was one thing he did understand, though, and that was Ratchet himself. The Lombax, whose posture as he sat back down was relaxed but attentive, rather than limp and disconnected like usual, whose smile and illuminated eyes were brighter than Clank had ever seen, even more lively than when...
On the surface, this was just a casual hangout between friends. In reality though, this was anything but that.
They were Lombaxes, an elusive species with a history of advanced cutting-edge technology and universe-breaking secrets. A race that was thought to be long lost, one that vanished into thin air. Yet, here were two of them, both who were left behind in their own dimensions, both who, deep down, desired for a place to fit in, to belong somewhere. As these abandoned, special souls finally came together, they chose to share a moment of happiness over something as ordinary as jokes and some pie.
"Interesting. Very interesting," Clank muttered.
"Indeed," Kit said, standing right in the doorway without any regard for being discreet. "And yes, I am certain that we are referring to the same thing."
Skeptical, he backed away from the door and put a hand up to his chin.
"You know, I rebuilt the Dimensionator in the first place in hopes that Ratchet could find his family. As you may be able to tell, it did not go exactly as planned, but..." He made another peek. Now they were both within arm's length—no, even closer—as Rivet leaned towards Ratchet. Although anyone else would've missed it, Clank could spot from a kilometer away how the latter Lombax clenched his jaw, how his breath hitched as he looked at her.
He is absolutely clueless.
"...I consider it a success."
Aimed at their furry companions, Kit's eyes flickered white, with a clicking sound accompanying it. "I agree. Despite the past week consisting of the most hectic and stressful experiences ever, I would like to call it a happy accident."
Happy accident? ...Does that truly exist?
In a scenario where nothing ever went wrong, then in that case, the parade would've continued without Nefarious' interference. If the original Dimensionator never malfunctioned, then the dimensions wouldn't have broken and created the rifts. If the rifts hadn't appeared, then he and Ratchet would have never ended up stranded in the alternate dimension; they would have already been in the Lombax dimension without any further complications.
But then, what would've become of Rivet and Kit?
The fact that everything did go wrong, the fact that they met these specific people out of everyone else in the entire multiverse, a lone Lombax and a robot with ties to dimensional studies…
It couldn't have been an accident, a coincidence. It had to mean something.
Speaking of which...
"Kit, this is a bit of a strange question, but…" His face turned stern as he looked at her. "Have you ever seen a group of small flying creatures that are invisible to everyone except you?"
She blinked at him.
"I have...no idea what you are talking about. Are you okay?"
Oh.
"Um, just a small joke that I wanted to try out, hehe."
"I suppose that was...humorous? Ha-ha?"
"Yes, er, thank you."
At a loss for words, Clank looked around as he fidgeted with his fingers.
"...I think we have kept them waiting too long for us," he said. "Shall we go?"
"Probably."
As they returned to their friends, thousands of theories ran through Clank's mind. The earlier revelation of this dimension's Cragmites had already thrown him for a loop, but considering that Kit wasn't even aware of them was…
What did it mean for them? For any of this?
Maybe I should take Ratchet's advice and stop thinking so much.
There were too many unresolved issues, too many unanswered questions, but at the end of the day…
At the end of the day, I know everything will turn out fine.