My Teen Rom-Com is a Lie

Chapter 2: Yukinoshita is a Pain, to Say the Least

"Are you going to sit down, or just stand there like an idiot?"

"Oh, uh. Yeah…"

Woops. I meant to start going forward, but I was too caught up in my inner monologue. And she's already insulting me. Just great…

Grabbing a seat, I pulled it over to where I assumed Hikigaya originally put his, and sat down. Initially, I would've been pretty happy to end up in this situation. No, not hanging out with a cute girl. I mean being able to chat with someone like-minded to myself. Sure, I'm very different from Yukinoshita, but compared to the rest of the cast, aside from Hikigaya, I can relate to her a bit more.

However, before I could continue, I realized I was staring at Yukinoshita without realizing it, prompting the story to move on.

"Do you have a question?"

"Oh, I was just kind of wondering what would happen next."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, what now. I was dragged here without any explanation."

Well, not like I needed one. I already know how this will play out.

"How about we play a game."

"Okay, what might this game be?" I respond, sounding a bit more monotone than I intended.

"Tell me, what do you guess this club is?"

I sat for a moment, considering whether I should just guess correctly on my first try, or get a wrong answer first, then guess correctly. Keep in mind, I have no intention of losing this 'game'. While I honestly don't care about what Yukinoshita thinks about who I am, I do care about who people think I am.

I am now Hikigaya Hachiman, the super duper high school loner [1], and I don't plan on breaking character so soon into this little escapade. Sure, that's a bit weird, but it'll be really satisfying to suddenly break character, especially after establishing my personality to those around me.

And with that, I chose my answer.

"Literature club." Unlike before, that came out a bit too smug. I'll have to get used to having new vocal chords. Or should I say vocal flaps? Whatever, like being technical would do me any good. If anything, Yukinoshita would insult me for trying to sound smart.

"Oh, and what led you to that conclusion?" As I recalled, Yukinoshita was mildly interested in what I had to say, even if I was wrong.

"It's clear that this room isn't specialized, nor does it have any sort of equipment. And assuming there are only a few members, it wouldn't be disbanded due to that. To further my point, you've been reading this entire time." Ah, the art of deduction. That felt pretty satisfying, even if I am wrong.

Making a slight mhm noise, Yukinoshita looked over to me.

"Wrong."

Uerk, no hesitation. Oh well, on to the next faze.

"Then what is this club?" This question here will provide me with all the evidence I need. Of course, had I never watched the anime or read the books, I wouldn't have found out the answer in a million years. But now all I had to do was backtrack from the answer and connect it to the evidence. Pretty cool if I do say so myself.

"Well, how about this. What I'm doing right now would be considered a club activity."

I paused for a second, pretending to struggle over the answer. Then right as Yukinoshita had grown tired of waiting, I looked over to her. I could feel a slight smirk rising.

"The Service Club." Yukinoshita looked over to me, a hint of surprise on her face. Before she could ask how I deduced that answer, I began to explain.

"You see, it was quite simple after you gave that answer, and putting the pieces together, it would've been obvious."

Well, no. Not actually, but let's pretend it is.

"To begin, you said that being here was a part of your club work. With only a quick glance, one would assume that you are doing literary work, but since you denied that notion, we can rule that out. Secondly, Ms. Hiratsuka dragged me over here and left me in your care. As she mentioned, she said I needed my personality fixed (personally, I don't have a problem with it) and said that you were to do so. And finally, the most obvious indicator would be the fact that you described your work as a 'request'. This allows me to eliminate the probability that this is some sort of mental care club, seeing as one; we already have counselors for that. And two; you don't request another person to do their job. Meaning, in conclusion, this club is meant to service others by satisfying their requests. One way or another."

I finished my explanation just in time. My throat was getting dry and my jaw was a bit sore. Come on Hikigaya, I know you don't socialize like, at all. But you shouldn't be this exhausted after a little speech like that.

Anyway, back to the task at hand, I looked over at Yukinoshita. If you could say her appearance before my explanation was mildly surprised, to describe her now, one would say she was baffled. Well, this was Yukinoshita we're talking about, so she composed herself quickly. But, she was clearly surprised by how well I was able to deduce the answer. But before she could comment about my deduction, I had one more thing to say.

Lowering the tone of my voice, I cut her off.

"Oh yeah, one more thing. I lied. I was able to figure out this was the service club when Ms. Hiratsuka mentioned something about community service work earlier as my punishment."

With that, Yukinoshita's face contorted into that of a cold glare. The same one that would've stopped Hikigaya in his tracks.

It was as if the temperature of the room suddenly dropped. It wouldn't surprise me if I could see my breath at this very moment.

Although, I'm curious as to what she's thinking. I'm winging most of this, so I can only make a few speculations.

As fun as it would be to pretend like I'm some lazy, energy conservative detective [2], I wanted to get Yukinoshita to view me a certain way as quickly as possible. I put a bit of thought into this. If Yukinoshita sees me as a manipulative liar, not only will she not trust me, but she might even see a bit of her sister in me.

Why go through all the trouble of getting Yukinoshita to hate you?

It's quite simple.

I don't know…

Basically, I got way too carried away with trying to sound cool and ended up getting Yukinoshita to hate me. Or at least, I think she does.

If I were to guess as to the reason why I felt the need to make her hate me, I'd say it'd probably be because Hikigaya's emotions are influencing me.

Recalling the anime, Hikigaya tried to intimidate Yukinoshita, to no effect.

From the looks of it, Yukinoshita has calmed down, but it was clear she wasn't completely composed yet.

"I believe Ms. Hiratsuka may have underestimated how troublesome you are, based on her description of you… Hikigaya, how many decades has it been since you last interacted with a girl?"

If I recall correctly, the last time I talked to a girl was one of my classmates in English, but if we're talking about Hikigaya, that would be two years ago in June.

While I was attempting to come up with an excuse to avoid the question, Yukinoshita stood up. Taking a few steps forward to where I was sitting, she looked down at me.

"Those who are fortunate who give to the less fortunate out of the kindness of their hearts. Most people consider this to be community service. And that is what this club does.

Welcome to the Service Club. We're happy to have you."

"So you should be grateful that you've been given the opportunity to be placed under my care to fix your… problems."

Looking over at Yukinoshita, I'm sure my face wore an expression of irritation. How could I not? She not only quickly recovered from my amazing display, but was even quicker to put herself above me like some sort of deity.

"I'll have you know that I'm pretty well off myself. Thank you very much."

Without much delay, I continued. "While my grades now aren't amazing, I can only say that they are going to improve, as I tend not to start the year super strong." (Which is only half true, I just happen to be good at academics Hikigaya is poor at).

"Also, I was able to score third in Japanese in my grade. Even though I don't have any friends or a girlfriend, I'm confident that my abilities will pull me through without the unnecessary drama."

This also was only half true. Unlike Hikigaya, I don't have too much trouble making friends. Or was it because of the environment? I guess I'll have to observe my new classmates to see if I could've been friends with them. It all depends on the people after all.

"It's quite impressive that you are able to say all that with complete confidence. Despite obvious falsities. Actually, it's very creepy. You're weirding me out."

"Like you're any better Ms. high and mighty princess." I quickly retorted.

Raising her hand to her chin, Yukinoshita had a cold smile on her face. "From what I've observed so far, the reason you're all alone is due to your rotten personality, overbearing ego, and sadistic lying tendencies."

Well, to be fair, that was a bit true. Before I could interject my thoughts, she continued.

"It's evident that you feel out of place at this school, so how about we give you a place of comfort. Have you heard that merely having a place to belong can prevent you from a tragic end such as becoming a star and burning out of existence." [3]

"That's a bit of an obscure reference, can't believe you'd rely on other works of literature to prove your point." Of course, that was very hypocritical of me to say, but does that really matter?

Yukinoshita, unamused, simply retorted by saying, "Trying to prove that you're more knowledgeable than you are will end poorly."

Instead of defending the usage of reference material, she just insults me? Guess I'll just roll with the punches.

In a mocking tone, I responded. "Of course, it's not like I, of all people, would be able to recognize the work of Kenji Miyazawa."

With an irritated look on her face, Yukinoshita responded. "Hikigaya, you truly excel at trying to prove your worth. I underestimated you."

"That's what you took that as? Unlike you, I don't have the desire to flaunt just how superior I am to others."

"Are you suggesting that you are superior to others, despite bragging over a mere third-place ranking in Japanese? Again, you attempt to prove your worth through very miniscule achievements. But, I suppose I cannot blame you for knowing about 'The Nighthawk's Star'. I'm sure you relate to it." She grinned. Well, it was more like a sadistic smile.

"Are you claiming that I'm supposed to be disfigured?"

"Whether it is the truth or not, only you know whether it is so. But sometimes it's too painful to acknowledge."

"You just basically admitted to it."

Patting my shoulder, Yukinoshita took on that of a serious face. "Try not to avert your eyes from the truth. Reality is often disappointing."

Hold up, did she just make another reference? No, that can't be possible, doesn't Oregairu take place in like, 2013?

"Hey, there you go jabbing at my eyes! I'll have you know that appearances are subjective, thus meaning that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. And I'm sure there are at least some people who think I look fine. Like my sister for example." I rest my case.

Rubbing her hand on her temple, Yukinoshita looked as though she heard something truly stupid. "You said it yourself, 'beauty is in the eyes of the beholder' and aesthetics is a purely subjective matter. In this room, where only you and I reside, it is clear that what I say is true."

"I'll have you know that doesn't line up with my logic, but whatever…"

"Of course, I forgot to take into consideration that there may be people who actually view your eyes as attractive. My apologies for overlooking your case. But, you should already consider it closed, as there won't be anyone who will find your eyes as attractive."

Yukinoshita continued with her spiel. "That's not even looking into other factors such as your personality. It's clear that your twisted mindset distorts your appearance to a great degree as well. So much can be concluded from looking at your fish eyes."

"Could you stop commenting about my eyes? How about you apologize to my parents for all that!"

Yukinoshita grew silent and looked as though she was regretting what she said. "Indeed, that was a bit harsh for me to say. It is clear that they are suffering far more from looking at you than I have in this short amount of time we've spoken."

I suppressed letting out a sigh. I was clearly getting too worked up on things that don't actually insult me. Hikigaya's emotions are clearly getting in the way of my train of thought, ironically enough.

"Fine, I look awful and my personality is bad. Are you happy now?" I looked away from Yukinoshita's gaze.

"Now that you've been able to hold a conversation with a girl like myself, you should be capable of holding a conversation with most people. With this event now concluded, you can now move forward with this memory giving you strength to live out your forever lonely life."

As I stood there, having given up on responding, silence encompassed the room. And in front of me was Yukinoshita, with a victorious look of satisfaction, knowing she had 'bested' me.

Suddenly, the door had been pulled open, with the sound echoing throughout the room. "Sorry to interrupt Yukinoshita."

"Knock... "

"Sorry, and don't pay any mind to me. I'm just here to check up on your progress." With a relaxed gaze, Ms. Hiratsuka leaned against the class wall. "It's good to know you two seem to be getting along nicely."

Turning my attention to Ms. Hiratsuka, I responded to her poor attempt at sarcasm. "Getting along? Where did you get that idea from? I'll have you know that this girl's 'help' isn't going to do any good. It's not like there's anything wrong with me."

Yukinoshita quickly responded to my statement. "That's because you're not even aware of your problem. Or even worse, simply ignoring it."

"Problem? I don't know what you're talking about. Just because I don't actively seek for conversations, or have the best people skills doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me."

I took in a breath. "I can interact with people just fine. It's not like I need to deal with the people here anyway."

Yeah, sure I was a bit more outgoing in my previous world. But, this place is full of social cliques and hierarchies. I have no desire to be wrapped up in stupid drama and social norms. In fact, I despise it.

Brushing her hair behind her ear, Yukinoshita made a small sigh. "What do you mean? If you can't change yourself to be capable of interacting with your fellow classmates, then you obviously won't be able to function in society. Don't you seek to improve yourself?"

"Improve myself? Change myself for the betterment of society? I'd much rather not do that."

"Why? It's evident that if your current predicament continues, you won't be able to function properly in society. You are just running away from the problem."

"And bending to the will of others isn't? Why should I try to change myself to get accepted by what is deemed correct by society? Changing for their sake is a betrayal to myself. What's so wrong with choosing the path I see fit, whether I choose to or not to change?"

Man, I got to pat myself on the back for that one. I finally said something a little bit meaningful, even if I kind of pulled it from thin air.

"If that were truly the case, then you wouldn't need saving in the first place!" She had an enraged expression. Or at least that of a stern look. I doubt Yukinoshita could show much more emotion than this.

"Alright, calm down the two of you." Relieving the tense atmosphere, Ms. Hiratsuka's voice broke up our little debate.

Thank you Ms. Hiratsuka. I was starting to get a bit too uncomfortable with the situation. Wait, why are you grinning like that?

With a joyful look, Ms. Hiratsuka spouted what I could only conclude as nonsense. Well, not really, since I already know where this is going.

"Since the beginning, as presented in shonen manga, disputes have been resolved by means of a competition. Or in simpler terms, the two members of the service club will have a request showdown!" After which she gave a cheesy pose that would only work if you had a good angle. Unfortunately from our respective positions, it was definitely not a good angle.

"The rules are simple, whichever party fulfills more requests based on their own principles shall win the game. And whoever wins will be able to order the loser to do anything."

Anything huh. If by some miraculous chance I do win, what would I ask for? Well, it would be useless thinking about it now, I'd hate to get my hopes up.

"I refuse. I feel that my safety is threatened due to him as my competitor."

I give a cold stare. What do you mean by 'safety'? What do you think I am, a sadist or something? Sorry, but the most I'd ask of you to do would be completing my math homework.

"So even the great Yukinoshita Yukino has something she's afraid of. Unsure of your ability to win?"

"Fine then. While I don't want to admit falling into such cheap provocation, I will accept this challenge."

With a smug look, Ms. Hiratsuka declares this to be settled, ending this little challenge introduction. With a quick look at me, Ms. Hiratsuka left the room. Before she was able to head out, the bell rang, as if perfectly timed.

With that, school was over. This left me with only one thing on my mind.

How am I supposed to get home?

A/N: Funny, looking back on this chapter. I added the whole [#] for references, but never added the actual sources at the end. Not to mention I didn't even have the numbers correct.

References:

[1] Danganronpa

[3] Referenced in the LN. Can't recall the title