Terraria x Danmachi

The crackling of a fireplace was ever present in the background. Warmth spread throughout the room and a soothing orange glow emitted from the table lamp.

My feet were propped on the lead anvil as I sunk into the couches welcoming cushions. A single page was caught on my exposed skin as I turned to the next paragraph.

This always baffled me; the content of magic tomes were strange and whimsical. Whenever I opened one—whether it be the reliable Water Bolt or the overpowering Razorblade Typhoon—it became impossible to put down.

It wasn't always like that, of course. Before I somehow became stuck in this new world, the tomes were illegible. I had considered asking the wizard about translating them, but he was usually preoccupied with some experiment or another.

But who was I to question this new boon of knowledge and entertainment. After accomplishing everything that I could, it was only natural that I would want something of a vacation. This one just happened to be unplanned.

Taking in a deep breath, my eyelids grew more and more heavy. The day had been long. Constructing the house took a bit of work, but nothing I hadn't done before. Maybe I should've explored my surroundings a bit more thoroughly, but my radar hadn't picked up a single enemy in the area.

And it had been a long time since I last slept. Perhaps I would finally allow myself this luxury.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

The hell was that?!

Jerking out of my slouched position, I instantly materialized my trusty blade. Despite its massive size, the Zenith posed no problem to my balance.

Slipping between the awkwardly placed crafting stations, I moved to the front of the house and placed myself next to the door.

Not that I needed to move to the door, with how the Zenith tended to avoid adhering to traditional laws of physics. But should my mysterious visitor be a non-hostile, I should be there to greet them.

As I was fiddling with my phone to pull up the radar and lifeform analyzer, I let out a short inquiry. "Who's there?"

A faint grumbling made it through the door before I received an answer. Her voice sounded young, around the 20s if I had to guess.

"Terraria."

That caused me to stiffen up. It had only been several days since my sudden transportation and I had already been found. By who, I couldn't tell. The only npc that actively spoke about Terraria was the dryad, and this woman definitely wasn't her.

Checking the phone, the radar hadn't picked up any enemies. Chances were, this was either a powerful denizen of this world, or an unknown from the last world I was at.

"Terraria who?"

People of Terraria tended to be a bit knowledgeable of Earthly customs, so this interaction was pointing towards my visitor being from said place. I would've just checked the lifeform analyzer, but it wasn't giving me any information at the moment.

There was a gasp. "'Terraria who?' That you cannot even put two and two together! Truly, I am disappointed, my dear Champion."

There was a pause. There was a ruffle of cloth; she was probably posing dramatically. "Rejoice, my Champion, for your benevolent Goddess has come to reward you for your great deeds!"

With great reluctance, I dematerialized Zenith and grasped the door handle. I peeked through the opening and immediately saw this supposed 'goddess'.

Hands on her hips and chest puffed out—the 'goddess' didn't exactly match what I was expecting. While she was undoubtedly attractive, and to a near perfect degree, her condition took away from that.

From head to toe, she was covered in dirt, grime, and grass. Her clothes were torn and stained to a degree that I couldn't make out what it previously looked like. But that didn't stop her from showing off her bright green eyes and toothy grin.

"Yes, you must have realized it by now." She laid her fingers across her sternum as she gazed directly into my eyes. "It is I—the one you fought so fiercely for—Terraria!"

At that moment, I considered closing the door. None of this made any sense, but I learned to deal with it.

"Yeah… Come on in." Closing the door behind her, I watched as an anthropomorphic embodiment of Terraria strut into my house.

She scanned the room and tried her best to maneuver around the furniture. "This place is lacking in the quality befitting of my Champion. Is there not a secret underground lair—or perhaps a hidden teleporter to a much grander space?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose as I spotted the muddy footprints on the hardwood floors. "Er- no. Have you seen the stuff that I usually build?"

'Terraria' then sat on the couch and let out a relaxed sigh. Holding back a wince, I considered just replacing anything dirty rather than cleaning it.

"Of course I have. When I finally visited your realm, I happened to come across a magnificent structure. It was a massive room illuminated by floating torches. The walls had an immaculate white shine and there were no supports in sight." With eyes closed, the self proclaimed goddess nodded at the memory.

Big room; white walls; floating torches? That sounds familiar-

"You've got to be kidding me- That's just the empty space below the mob farm! The only thing magnificent about it was the amount of nights I spent using it to grind the Pumpkin Moon." Countless hours spent just to get the Horseman's blade. If only it wasn't so hard to survive the whole night.

"Oh, so is that what the lava bed was for? Truly a simple yet ingenious contraption, you have my approval." I couldn't tell if she knew just how self centered she sounded. If anyone else were accommodating her, the reception would've been a little more negative.

Taking a seat on a nearby workbench, I decided to change the subject to something more important. "That aside, would you care to explain, well, anything really. I mean, are you supposed to be Terraria the game, or what? And how are we here in the first place?"

She blinked. Yes, blinked. Putting up a thoughtful expression, Terraria considered my questions before gracing me with an answer.

"The game? How preposterous, I am not based on the game that shares my namesake. The game was obviously based off of me. I'm not quite sure how you came to this specific world, but it certainly took a lot of power to travel here. It was rude of you to suddenly leave, my Champion. I was expecting a grand ceremony for my return after the defeat of the Cthulhu only to find you absent from my world."

Leaning back, I processed the information. "That's interesting… to say the least. I'm assuming that you couldn't really visit while the Moonlord was at his strongest. But that begs the question, why are you only showing up now? I defeated him several months ago."

For the first time, the mud covered woman broke character. Terraria sheepishly looked away with a wavering smile. "I may or may not have used my new freedom to view the vast multiverse in hopes of new entertainment. I didn't forget about you of course, my dear Champion! Just preoccupied was all."

"Uhuh. I'll take your word for it. And if you were curious, I tried to drink several teleportation based potions at once to see what would happen. You can clearly see the results."

Getting off my impromptu seat, I opened my inventory and checked over my resources. "You know what, we can continue this discussion later. I wasn't planning on making a bathroom since I hadn't really needed one before, but we really need to deal with your current state first. How did you end up so dirty and why haven't you done anything about it?"

Despite this being a far more embarrassing topic, Terraria took it in stride. "Ah—I had to travel a great distance to find you. This dirt isn't from the soil of this realm, but rather magically produced by yours truly. It was a small defense I had set up for this weak container in order to pass through the void between worlds."

She sounded far too pleased in admitting she covered herself in magic dirt. "And you need not worry about building a new room for bathing. I have already purchased us suitable lodging within the city. We'll be moving there tonight, but feel free to keep this as our secret home base."

I froze. Slowly, I closed the inventory window and turned my attention back to Terraria.

"There's a city- no, nevermind that. Why should I move there? I'm perfectly content remaining in my newly constructed build. There's no reason to go to the city."

The magically dirt caked woman looked at me as though I grew a second head. "You are most strange, my Champion. The city is where activities occur; where adventure awaits and potential flourishes! Why wouldn't you want to go? Besides, you needn't worry about the customs of this realm, as I am very knowledgeable of them. I imagine that you are as well."

When she saw my confused countenance, her mood changed and not for the better.

"Do you not know of the world we currently reside in?" Terraria oozed smug to a poisonous degree. "Fear not, my dear Champion, for I shall educate you and rectify this grave error."

With a flourish, the woman stood and raised her arms with hands pointed to the ceiling. "We are in Danmachi! A land of gods and goddesses traversing the mortal realm; of adventure and exploration; and of great beauties that potentially surpass my own creations!"

She did her best to smile down upon me, ignoring the height difference as she reached around my chin. "It was bewildering to see you make no moves on my beloved dryad, but perhaps this world will satiate your appropriately high standards?"

"There's so much wrong with what you just said right there, so I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. Anyways, how did you purchase a place to stay at? I'm pretty sure that our currency wouldn't be accepted here outside of material worth." As I waited for a response, I crafted the needed items for a bathroom.

"Thinking of our future monetary endeavors I see? Excellent! I shall reward you with the answer to your question. Naturally, I had no Valis (this world's currency), so I took out a loan."

Letting out a sigh, I gave the goddess a wry grin. "Let me guess, it was a loan of a million something Valis. And you want me to help you pay it off."

Terraria shamelessly smiled in turn, implying that it may have been a bit more than one million Valis. "Whatever, I can probably pick up black smithing. Pretty sure that good equipment is overpriced in this world anyway."

"But before we do any of that, you need to clean yourself up. Magical dirt or not, I don't want you staining any more of the furniture."

X X X

The goddess, after a shower that took a bit too long, finally left the newly constructed bathroom. Since I had no proper means of washing clothes, I had to provide her with a new set. A quick search through the inventory and some minor tailoring later left me with a decent white tux.

She wasn't particularly picky and accepted the clothing without any fuss, bringing me a wave of relief.

Now that I was able to get a good look at Terraria, I could confidently say that she was in fact a goddess. Or at least someone far above the best humanity could produce.

A round face with a healthy pink complexion. No blemishes and nearly symmetrical features. Her verdant eyes matched her deep green hair. Her figure was mostly covered by the tux, but the measuring process didn't leave too much to the imagination. To put it simply, good curves and a modest chest.

I had to stop myself from frowning at the first thought that came to mind from her appearance.

She's just short of falling into the uncanny valley, huh.

One could argue that Terraria looked too perfect, but I doubted any of the natives of Danmachi had seen a photoshopped image.

With that out of the way, we made our way towards the city of Orario. Not wanting to walk the whole way there, Terraria insisted that I either carry her or use one of my mounts.

Naturally, I chose the latter.

The ride on the Unicorn was relatively short. I had us dismount once I spotted the city walls through the sniper scope.

A/N: This is a fun idea, but my knowledge of Danmachi doesn't go past the first season. I'll need to get up to date on the story if I want to continue this fic.