Hours turned to days, weeks to months, and months to a full year.
Leonardo was not coming back, and they would have to accept that. If he had stayed away for so long, then he was definitely dead. He wouldn't willingly leave them like that, right?
Raphael did not want to accept that. Not just that Leonardo was part of his family, and accepting that meant giving up on him, but the weight of being leader fell onto his shoulders, a role he swore that he would never attempt to take again. That was Leonardo's role, nobody else's.
And, he had to take it. Because Leonardo was gone for good.
That's how Raphael found himself alone, on the surface, kicking stones and other debris around in his anger. Leonardo had to still be alive, he had to be. They were just giving up on him, when he could very well be alive and stuck.
Raphael grit his teeth and bit back the scream forming. He couldn't cause a scene on the surface, not when people were probably still awake. Crumpling by a sign, he gripped the sides of his head and sobbed, knowing he was alone. It felt like he was going insane, why did that idiot have to play martyr?
A couple minutes passed, or maybe it was more. Maybe it was a half hour, or an hour. Maybe he had his family worried. He couldn't care right then, he just wanted to be alone.
But being alone was not a privilege he got. He could feel something or someone standing there, hovering nearby.
He stilled, breathing hitching as silent tears continued to fall down his face, before he slowly looked up.
It was- It was Leonardo? No, it couldn't be, he was gone for a year. The apparition stared, wide-eyed. They had no gear, and Raphael lost count of the sheer amount of scars lining their limbs and plastron almost as soon as he tried to count them.
That was not his brother. His brother was dead, his brother was gone for a year, disappearing behind a heavy metal wall. It had to be a ghost. There was no other reasonable answer.
Something between sorrow and wrath bubbled up inside Raphael, followed by a few other emotions that flashed by so fast he couldn't pause to identify them. That wasn't his brother. That was a ghost, a dream, a hallucination, something, it just wasn't Leonardo.
Still, the ghost crouched and reached their hand out, tilting their head, smiling in the soft way the oldest always did when any of them were afraid or sad, it was too close, too close-
Raphael shivered, then forced both his hands down, throwing a punch at the ghost and standing as they backed up. Why did it keep antagonizing him like this? What was the joy there? He didn't want to see the oh so familiar face anymore, he wanted to be left ALONE!
The scream from earlier finally escaped him as he chased after the spirit, trying to hit it, maybe then it would leave him to his misery.
Or maybe it would take him, maybe he could leave with Leonardo, then.
Either way, it kept dodging, moving fluidly around his punches in a circle around the roof, never fighting back, not disappearing. Raphael didn't know which he wanted more; For it to fight back, although incorporeal, or for it to leave so he could continue wallowing in self-pity.
"He left us!" Raphael yelled, no longer caring who heard or what happened, tears flowing down his face without a problem, "He's probably dead, because we haven't heard a single thing from him in a year, and there's no way he'd leave us that long!"
Something flashed on the ghost's face that almost resembled guilt, but Raphael missed it, crumpling back to the ground and voice cracking with sobs as he shook his head. "And now? I'm screaming at his ghost, trying to fight it for God's sake, and I feel like I'm going insane."
%%%
Leonardo looked his brother over from where he stood, eye ridges knitted in concern. How far had they fallen in the time he was gone, so that Raphael openly cried like this, that he thought Leonardo was a ghost?
Seriously, he crossed half of America, just for this to happen.
He approached the shaking figure slowly, crouched back down and slowly reached out, nervous that the other might strike out at him again.
Thankfully, Raphael did not. In fact, he didn't even seem to notice Leonardo at that point. Leonardo took a chance, grabbing a firm hold of his wrist and hoping he didn't scare the other too much.
Raphael attempted to jerk away, eyes wide as he looked to Leonardo, panicking.
"Hey," Leonardo moved to hold his hand instead, gripping it tightly between both of his, "Hey, it's me. It's me, Raph. It's me, I'm real. Look, look, I can touch you. I'm holding you. You can even hit me if you want."
Raphael paused, looking him over. Did he believe Leonardo? The eldest hoped so, although he also hoped that the younger wouldn't actually attempt to hit him.
He stared for a longer moment, dead silent, before:
"Leo?"
"Yes?"
Another choked son left him as he lunged forward, trapping Leonardo in a crushing hug. Leonardo froze, tense, but slowly hugged him back, shushing him and rubbing his shell.
They sat together until Raphael's sobs faded to sniffles. Leonardo waited for Raphael to say that he was done, when all of a sudden, the hothead pulled away and dragged Leonardo up after him. After the initial alarm passed, the older said nothing, realizing that they were heading down to the manhole.
Honestly, it just made the whole process easier. He had already been planning on how to come back, he just… Didn't know how to come back to them naturally. So yeah, having Raphael take him there made it a lot easier-
Did that shadow just move? Nobody was following them, right?
...Nothing moved, it was just a trick of the light, there was no one there.
Still, he scanned the darkness, just in case. Raphael paid his behavior no mind, focusing solely on getting him home. Once at the lair, Raphael slammed something- Leonardo didn't see what- Down, making extra noise to grab the younger two's attention.
They looked up from where they had been bickering, and froze, silent. Then, they erupted in screams, running at him and scooping Leonardo up in a hug. Leonardo melted into their grip, just relieved to be home. He missed the warmth, the low hum of electronics, his brothers, most of all.
Then, they were all asking questions, firing them at him like a machine gun, and he had to cut them off, getting one question and giving one answer at a time.
By the end of it, they were all concerned, because to be fair, it sounded less than pleasurable.
Leonardo smiled, to reassure them.
And then he collapsed.