The difference was noticeable as soon as they'd crossed from the guest house back into the main home. There was no touching at breakfast, and just a glance or two. Perhaps the revealing light of morning caused shyness in the groom. The bride anticipated a return to their recent interactions once they'd boarded the shuttlecraft back to Enterprise but met nothing of the sort.
Spock excused himself before the vessel left orbit and returned in his Starfleet uniform once again. He looked regal, but stiff. The sparkle in his eye was gone. His vitals had returned to normal levels again, leaving his body uncomplicated by hormones and feelings. Vivian recognized it all as he reentered the passenger bay and felt her stomach drop.
"You changed." She wasn't sure if she was referring to his clothing or demeanor.
"I suggest you do the same." His statement didn't make it any clearer.
She nodded and swallowed hard. He didn't so much as acknowledge her when she came back into the room. They worked until lunch without speaking, then worked through lunch itself and through the afternoon.
"We should be arriving in approximately one hour." Spock announced, breaking the silence.
"Acknowledged."
He went to the table in the room and measured it again himself, then shook it. It was sturdy and about hip height. When he took a cushion from a seat and put it on the table, he caught her curiosity.
"What are you attempting?"
"I think it would be logical to engage in intercourse once more, for good measure."
Her eyebrow raised. She was interested...but also confused by his seemingly incongruous behavior. Suspiciously, she joined him.
"Are there cameras in this room? If so, undressing would-"
"You needn't undress. Simply removing your undergarments will suffice."
Vivian complied, scanning his unreactive face. She folded the fabric carefully and set it to the side. He picked her up by her waist and set her atop table, leaning her back on the cushion. When she leaned up to kiss him, he'd ducked and was digging in a bag. Still confused, she leaned back again and stared at the ceiling. His head reappeared at its regular height and his hand touched her thigh. Usually, by this point they were kissing and embracing. Usually, by this point they were nude and tangled in sheets. The questions in her mind hindered her arousal.
Suddenly, she felt the intrusion of something cold and hard. With a yelp, she unintentionally kicked his shoulder and sat upright. "What was that?!"
His eyebrow raised in surprise as he showed her the small wand, "A medical device of your own creation." Sure enough, it was something she'd helped patent to measure factors related to fertility. "Your internal temperature and ph are suitable for sperm motility." He cleaned the device and put it back in the bag.
"Spock, it is not socially acceptable to randomly insert things into women."
"You were anticipating an insertion, were you not? The use was not random but used as intended. And 'women' implies other women, you are my partner."
"Technically, those statements are correct, however, I found that jarring and would prefer you not do it again without warning."
"I am sorry...The one reading that was suboptimal was moisture-"
"Because I am not presently aroused." She felt as though he was behaving out of character-at least-out of character since they landed on Vulcan. A nauseas feeling swept over her as she considered the possibility that maybe their time on Vulcan was out of character. His present demeanor matched what she'd previously witnessed from him on the ship.
"That can be addressed." He began to kneel.
She leaned back again, anticipating the feeling of his mouth. Instead, she heard a click and a buzzing sound. Before she could sit up to protest, he pressed it against her. With a gasp, she grasped the edge of the table.
"Fascinating," He observed her for a moment- less like a lover- more like a scientist, "This device is quite effective." He secured the device in place and attempted to insert a finger, "Much improved."
Even if her brain had been capable of arranging words, her mouth would've been unable to spit them out. She twitched helplessly on the table.
With the rage of the blood fever gone and impending catch up work taking up the space in his head, turning to this task required serious focus. He unlatched his uniform pants and hesitated. He had great distaste for handling himself, which made him feel like undisciplined adolescent. For a moment, he considered joining minds with her so that he could share in the arousal she experienced. Before he could reach for her, she cried out and convulsed. Although he did not appreciate the involuntary aspect, witnessing her pleasure spurred his interest. He rationalized in his mind that allowing oneself to experience both arousal and pleasure was an integral part of the reproductive process- both productive and logical.
He was pleasantly surprised to find he could also feel the vibrations once inside her. The table thumped against his legs as he moved unceremoniously. It was clinical, removed- a task being accomplished as opposed to intimacy between partners. In a few moments, she began to moan again, her legs pressing into his. When she reached the second orgasm, he came with her with a shudder.
With a sigh, he withdrew and cleaned himself. "That was efficient." He began to catch his breath and he fixed his pants.
She didn't answer.
"Vivian?"
Her heard her groan yet again, her back arching tensely off the table this time.
"Right," He jumped back to the table, turned off the device, removed it, cleaned it, and returned it to the bag. She had been reduced to a trembling, whimpering mess. "My apologies."
It took several minutes for her to catch her breath and stop shaking. Sure, there had been physical pleasure, but there was a complete absence of mental connection. When she propped herself up on her elbows, she found that he had returned to work, as if nothing had happened. She didn't feel like a wife or a part of a couple. She didn't even feel like a consort having an affair with a powerful man. She felt like a tool for producing an heir, or, some sort of science experiment. All of the sudden she was aware of the fingerprint bruises, soreness, and pulled muscles.
"Rehydration would be wise." He muttered without looking up from his reading.
Vivian was surprised to find, once back aboard the Enterprise, that her mate still planned to keep separate quarters. She held out hope that perhaps he would visit her in the evening, but he didn't. After the first week, she gave up on the idea. Still, she ate dinner in the officer's dining room alongside Spock, who always seemed pleasant. When she made excuses to visit the bridge, he seemed busy and dismissive.
Something else had changed since the return of the new couple. Sarek's words on the forefront of his mind, Dr. McCoy made increasing efforts to monitor Dr. Vida. He paid close attention to what she ate at dinner, calculating the percentages of vitamins in his head. When they crossed paths in the sick bay, working, his small talk often included things like "workin' too hard?" or "sleepin' alright?". At first, this hadn't bothered his colleague. In fact, they'd developed a comradery.
"Hey V," He'd even picked up a new nickname for her, "Brought ya a snack." He carried a small plate of raw vegetables with dip.
"Hm?" She looked up from her patient chart and rubbed her forehead. "Oh, thank you."
"You alright?" His demeanor quickly changed to concern.
"Yes, just slightly fatigued." She raised an eyebrow, her patience wearing thin. "Is there a reason you've been hovering as of late?"
"Me? Pffft." Knowing better than to try and fool a Vulcan, he sighed. "You remember how we talked at the wedding reception?"
"Koon-ut feast, but yes."
"Ambassador Sarek asked me to keep an eye on ya."
She was unamused, "Perhaps he knew his son would be unwilling."
"What do you mean? You two couldn't keep your hands off each other at the wed-koon-ut."
"Yes, and then the moment we boarded the shuttlecraft back, it was as if he'd lost all interest in me." She watched her friend's face crumbled in concern and disbelief. "I've said too much...I apologize for unloading-"
"Vivian, I'm a psychiatrist too you know...more importantly, I'd like to think of us as friends. As your friend," He spun around a stool and sat next to her, "I'll always listen." His hand pat hers, "Well, unless somebody's dyin' over there...So, do you mean to tell me Spock's been treatin' ya bad?"
"No, no, of course not. He's not treating me...any way actually. I see him in brief increments. We do not cohabitate. We have not interacted sexually since the day we returned from Vulcan. The mental bond we shared has since weakened, yet, I still gather that he is actively attempting to avoid me. I'm unsure of why."
He shook his head, "I don't know what to tell ya...I mean Spock claims to be a logical man...Maybe he's worried you'll distract him from his work."
"That is a possibility."
"Or maybe...I mean if he sees intimacy as a productive thing...V...what are the chances you're pregnant right now?"
"78.63%."
"Jeez...does he know that?"
"He is capable of the mathematical analysis but is far less educated in the realm of obstetrics and less familiar with my biological cycles."
"Maybe if he thinks you're pregnant already...he doesn't see the point."
"That's precisely why I have yet to take a test. I'm concerned that as soon as I know, he'll know, and I would prefer to sort out our apparent conflict first. Additionally...I recognize the risk of miscarriage in the first trimester...I would not want to make any formal announcements before that risk has declined significantly."
"So twelve weeks? What's it been, six?"
"Correct."
"Hell...I respect that...Here's the only thing I'm gonna ask: go ahead and be smart, will ya? Reduce your workin' hours, increase your calorie intake- you know all this anyway."
"Understood."
He grinned and pat her shoulder, "Go talk to him...And if he gives ya any trouble, I'll knock some sense into him."
Deep breath. Dr. Vida knocked on the Commander's door.
"Commander Spock?"
The door opened, "Dr. Vida. Come in."
She nodded and followed, closing the door behind her. The sight reminded her that she hadn't been in that room since she'd first proposed an arrangement to him. She couldn't help but notice how strikingly different this space was from his suite on Vulcan. Here, there were fewer collectibles or curiosities- little hint of personality. If she didn't know him, the only thing she would be able to discern would be he was a Vulcan in the military.
Vivian leaned in to kiss him. Spock was neither receptive nor unreceptive. He didn't stop her, but he also didn't kiss her back so much as he allowed her to kiss him.
"Is everything alright?" He clasped his wrist behind his back and stepped away from her. His stance disappointed her, but his look of concern was somewhat encouraging.
"There's a matter I would like to discuss with you."
"Certainly."
"What happened on Vulcan?" She prodded, much like a lawyer attempting to back a witness into a particular statement.
"Come again?"
"What happened on Vulcan?"
"We were bonded...we consummated the bond and possibly conceived-"
"I believed there was a feeling of mutual affection...or am I remembering incorrectly?"
He raised an eyebrow, sensing an unsettling of her temperament. "You remember correctly."
"Why then have we not spent time together since returning to the Enterprise?"
Even Vulcan women are like human women; more prone to emotional outbursts than their male counterparts. "Those circumstances were different...The blood fever causes all manner of abnormalities. Now, here, we are fortunate to be unfettered by such madness. Here... we do spend time together: at meals, occasional walks-"
"Spock, I know your mind and I know you avoid me...Have I displeased you in some way?"
He wet his lips, "...On the contrary...I am quite pleased by our union, so much so, in fact, that I find myself thinking of you often. This is, of course, a distraction from my work-"
"I see...So am I to assume then that you will not cohabitate with me? You will not visit my quarters at night? You will not touch me again?"
"The need for touch demonstrates a lack of discipline-"
"You were comfortable touching just weeks ago."
"We were working towards a goal-"
His words stung. Her eyes stung.
"Thank you for clarifying." She moved towards the exit.
He knew immediately he'd said something wrong. "Vivian, I-"
"And if our 'goal' has not been accomplished? Then should I expect you again? Would a bedroom be too personal? Would you prefer to meet me in my laboratory again?"
He attempted to ignore what registered as a dig. "Am I to assume then you are not currently pregnant?"
How dare he. What right does he have to know? "I do not know for certain."
"When do you intend to find out?"
"Twelve weeks."
"Another week then?" Spock felt a strange sense of anxiousness now having a timeframe on when he would find out whether he was a father. He recognized that she was somehow upset or offended by their conversation, despite the stoicism of her face. Attempting to assuage her, he spoke again. "If there is no pregnancy, we can make additional attempts..."
She shivered. Dammit. His smooth voice never failed to provoke feelings. His mere suggestion of sexual activity aroused her even in her angry state.
"If you are with child...perhaps I could consider indulging your shifting hormon-" He reached to push her hair away from her face, but she blocked his hand.
"Such forethought..." Having been raised with humans, she could achieve sarcasm. "Worry not, if I find myself hormonally provoked, I can find a device to provide assistance. I needn't DISTRACT you."
"Vivian-"
The door slid shut behind her.
The Enterprise stopped to check in on a Terran colony. Kirk specifically requested Dr. Vida join the landing party to assess changes in their population. She looked forward to the opportunity to get off the ship and get some fresh air. It had a class M atmosphere, after all. Dr. McCoy was hesitant to send her down and insisted he accompany her.
"One doctor's better than two huh?" He smiled and nodded at his Captain.
Per usual, Dr. Vida spent some time with the children of the colony- checking their heights and weights against averages. She noticed, however, that the first generation to be born on the planet's surface was reaching their teenage years. This prompted her to strike up a conversation with the local leaders and educators regarding sex education and contraception. Clearly the males were unprepared for such a conversation.
"Pardon me, doctor, but I thought we were attempting to grow the population."
"That is correct Chancellor, however, that should be left in the hands of adults- not adolescents. Earlier introduction to parenthood typically results in lower achievement, strains on limited resources, and consequences for the offspring being raised by immature caregivers. Additionally, while an adolescent female is capable of conception, her body may not yet be ready to carry a pregnancy to term or deliver safely. Societies that delay first pregnancy and invest in the education and development of their young women reap the most rewards long term."
"Couldn't have said it better myself." McCoy crossed his arms and grinned.
Eventually, it seemed they had brought the leaders into their way of thinking. Following the success, they were escorted out of the government building.
The wind wafted in their direction, carrying with it the scent of smoke and roasting meat. Vivian stood up straighter and swallowed hard. The smell turned her stomach, but she cleared her throat and maintained control.
Dr. McCoy watched the Vulcan female turn greener than usual. "Dr. Vida, are you alright?"
"Of course."
"We'd be honored if you'd join us for dinner." The Chancellor announced.
"Wouldn't turn down an invitation, thanks. It smells incredible."
With a feigned smile, Vivian joined the two men, traveling in the direction of the barbeque. Just breathe deeply. You've eaten meat before. You're from Texas- this is what your family does. When they arrived, tables had been arranged outdoors with hanging lights. Aesthetically pleasing. Focus on this. Much to her chagrin, the open flame was near the tables. The animal carcass- now partially charred- rotated over the flame. Her eyes fixed on it, and she became unsteady on her feet. She coughed but quickly swallowed and righted herself. Don't you dare. A bit of fat dripped from the flesh, landing on the stone and sizzling.
She inhaled sharply, "Excuse me a moment."
"V?"
Quickly, she dove behind a nearby building, landing on her knees to wretch into a bush. Her stomach ejected its contents with relative speed. She hated the feeling of the involuntary abdominal surges. Finally, she took a shaky breath and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.
"Vivian? There you are." McCoy sighed with relief having found her in the dark, but quickly deflated. "Oh V...dammit..."