It was a really pretty day, but never as pretty as amarinda could sing

The sun was shining and the birds were chirping and singing. The spring air was really serene. NOTHING could ruin this beautiful morning. Unless you counted rabid birds— do those even exist? His life flashed before him. Well not really his life, just a pile of STUPID feathers that blocked his vision.

ANYWAYS. Tobias felt very CALM. calm, like Jaron could break a limb and he wouldn't even care. Considering he doesn't feel pain anymore, due to certain circumstances.

Out of the blue, his LOVELY wife Amarinda the Planarinda (she was secretly a planner in disguise) came into his office

"Hi" she said, not acting like this took place in the 1500s

"What brings you here?"

"I dont know, I'm bored"

"Ok"

Without warning Amarinda went over to the window and opened it. WHat was she gonna do this time?

She started SINGING? She sang like a 45 degree acute angle because she was that good at singing. It was so good, I almost peed.

Her voice was beautiful, so beatful, suddenly three bluejays and other pretty animals landed on the window sill. She was having her main charachter moment, I could tell.

She was so gorgeous, and clearly the birds also thought that, their chirps creating a perfect harmony with her vocals

Tobias went beside her to INHALE the spring air when the birds stopped singing. Was it his presence that bothered them?

Yes, actually.

Tobias backed away and THE BIRDS STARTED SINGING AGAIN. It looked like Tobias would be stuck as a side character forever.

"Hi" tobias said to the idiotic birds

"No" the birds said bad, rabidly BIRDS CAN TALK?SS?S?S?

Amarinda started singing "among us in real life" and the birds liked it so much they flew into the room

Until a bird straight pooped an egg into her mouth. She gagged on the egg shell and died. But luckily, she didn't die. Tears fell from her eyes, like crystalized raindrops so emo omg.

"ACK" Amarinda gagged out the egg and birthed it.

Amarinda just single handedly birthed a bird, and it wasnt even tobias's child grrr amarininda cheeted on him with a bird }:((((

Tobias knew what had to be done now. If the birds where gonna be rabid towards him, he was going to show his inner alpha to the birds

"HEY STUPID DEFORMED CHICKENS." He growled, releasing his trembling voice into this world. "I WILL RIP YOUR PEANUT SKULLS OFF OF YOUR NECKS AND HAND-FEED THEM TO RODEN." Tobias's voice had a really bad voice crack there.

Amarinda stopped singing and gasped "omg tobias how could you say that"

"UYTFGYUHJUHYGTFDCGHJUIUYTFGYHUIYGTFCG" THE BIRDS CHIRPPED, AN ARMY OF THEM FLYING INTO THE OFFICE WITH NO REMORSE.

THEY NANDED ON TOBIAS"S HEAD AND TOES AND EARS AND WAS PECKING ON HIM VIOLENTLY

TOBIAS FELL OUT OF THE WINDOW JUST THEN OUT OF PURE TERROR

Tobias's big toe started to pour crimson blood all over the perfectly trimmed grass. He could just hear the gardeners shrieking from here.

Was amarinda making out with a bird up there? He wanted to sob

But then she flew out of the window too and almost died "Baby girl." A manly voice spoke. TOBIAS TURNED HIS HEAD AT A 360 DEGREE ANGLE, SNAPPING EVERY BONE AND MUSCLE THAT WAS IN HIS NECK TO SEE WHO SAID THAT. The devils must be fooling him. No— it was Darius in a bird fur-suit, making out with Amarinda.

Darius was probably a really bad kisser, because amarinda barfed all over him and continued to sing among us songs. Darius barfed back to assert dominance, throwing up worms and dirt. And a...piece of Amarinda's hair? Wait a second, that wasn't Darius…..THAT WAS AN IMPOSTOR BIRD. IT DRESSED UP LIKE DARIUS LIKE HOW PEOPLE DRESS UP IN FURSUITS AND IMPERSONATED HIM. Now he really had a reason to bash Darius in the head. He inhaled, recharging my powers. 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHDHDGJGHDGFHJGSFJHGSFHJ" he let out a screech for good measure. "YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBEREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!" he shrieked into the air has he grasped a book on how to heal wounds. Listen, it was all he had.

"SQUAK" The bird said in panic as it tried to fly away, but it came crashing down.

"HYAAAAH" Tobias pulled out the book and gave the bird a blow that should kill it. Kill two birds with one stone? More like kill one nasty wife-stealing-bird with a book

"OW." The bird shrieke— wait a minute, it wasn't a bird. It was actually Darius.

"MY EYES, I'VE BEEN BLINDED." Tobias didn't hesitate, he got back to fixing the chaotic damage that he had caused.

Tobias felt emotionally unsafe

The end