Casey stood and started pacing. Chuck was shocked, he opened and closed his mouth trying to form words.
"Did… Did Beckman know?" Chuck asked in shock.
"No, no one knew, neither Beckman nor my team. When she told me their names I didn't say anything. She wouldn't have sent me if she knew. That's why I spoke up when you asked about what would happen to him." Casey said, laying on the bed.
"What about what you said at the airport about adoption and foster care?"
"I needed time to find a way to tell you." Casey pulled Chuck to lay beside him.
Chuck laid his head on Casey's chest.
"Are you mad at me?"
"Not mad, upset you didn't tell Beckman and I the truth from the get go." Chuck kissed him.
"I'm sorry." Casey whispered, when Chuck broke the kiss.
"I'm sorry about your….." Chuck trailed off.
"Sister and brother in law."
"What were they doing in Afghanistan?"
"Some kind of missionary work? I don't even know, they did everything missionary, charity. "
They both were listening for Riley and Reagan to wake up. About 5:30 both babies started crying, they both got up and went to them. Casey got Reagan holding him close.
"They're probably hungry." Chuck whispered.
Casey nodded. After feeding each a bottle. They traded babies so the other could bond.
"You and your sister both have blue eyes?
"Yes, so did Patrick. I guess the same for Larkin? I know Walker did."
"Yeah."
Casey nodded.
The rest of the week, Chuck went to work and came home. Casey was enjoying the one on one time with Reagan and Riley. Weeks passed Chuck noticed Casey was acting differently, he didn't eat, had headaches, basically slept all day and stayed up watching both babies sleep. He came home from work to find Riley and Reagan crying and wet, laying in their playpen. Chuck couldn't understand what was going on, he changed both babies and they were both fuzzy. He was upset at Casey for leaving them like that, after laying both for a nap he went looking for John.
"John? John?" Chuck said, walking down the hallway.
Chuck opened the door to their bedroom. Casey was in the corner, in a ball with arms around his legs, head in between his legs sobbing.
"John, what's wrong?" Chuck rushed over to him, but stopped when Casey flinched and started shaking.
Casey stopped, looking up at him.
"Why are you here? You're supposed to be in Burbank."
"What we are…"
"Why are all the bombs going off then?" Casey flinched again.
"They're not John, I think you're having an episode, breathe deeply in and out, come on do it with me." Chuck did, and after two tries Casey did.
"You're at home in Burbank, not there. Home with me and the kids. Alex and Morgan will be over any minute." Chuck said, trying anything he can think of.
After ten minutes of Chuck talking and Casey breathing, his episode passed. Casey lifted his head, looking at Chuck
"When did this start?"
"Uh.. this is like the second or third one." Casey sighed, getting up wiping away tears.
"Second or third time? Why didn't you tell me?" Chuck frowned, hurt.
Casey sat on the bed, fingers sliding across his band.
"I don't know. The doctor just diagnosed me yesterday."
"You told me everything went okay."
"Besides getting diagnosed with PTSD, it did."
Chuck sat beside him.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"You know how I feel about talking about feelings."
"Telling your husband about getting diagnosed with PTSD is not a feeling it's a fact." Chuck said.
"I know, I… just didn't know how to tell you." Casey looked at him.
"It's okay. I just wish you'd trust me more when it comes to the emotional stuff. You don't always have to act tough around any of us." Chuck stood, standing in front of him.
"I'm sorry. I am trying, but I've spent so long keeping everything to myself. It's difficult to stop. I promise you I'll try harder. If you think I'm holding back, please remind me of my promise, okay."
"Don't worry, I will."
Casey stood up, asking,
"Weren't the necklaces supposed to be done?"
Chuck looked at Casey grinning widely, his face full of love.
"Yeah."
Chuck pulled both necklaces out, giving Casey the one with his ring on it. He fastened it around Casey's neck. Casey doing the same.
"This was the best the guy could do, he tried a heart, but this was what he could do. One half is your's and the other is mine."
"I like it plus I think I like the silicone better, no offense to the original." Casey said, holding up his left hand, showing off his new digital camo band.
"Yeah, I like all the superhero/ comic book ones." Chuck said, holding up his marvel one.
Casey rolled his eyes. Casey then went quiet and stared at his feet.
"I...I guess about now I should tell you that I retired from the NSA."
"You retired?"
"Yes, I retired. It was what was best for me." Casey said.
"Well, it's done now. As long as it was what you wanted. I'm okay with that."
After a slightly awkward pause, Chuck asked.
"So what do you have planned for our 2nd 1st together anniversary?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Casey smirked.