Chapter Two
Friday finally arrived and, for the Gryffindor's and Slytherins, double Potions with Snape. As Harry and Ron groaned at having to drag their feet all the way to the dungeons, Hermione could hardly conceal her energy. Almost bouncing on the tips of her toes, she waited impatiently for the boys to finish breakfast.
"What's the matter with you, eager to see Snape?" Ron asked grumpily.
"I'm not sure," She replied, trying to still her body. "Just excited for the weekend, I guess."
The truth was Hermione wanted to ask Snape if he would tutor her in Potions, not that she needed it. Still, she really was fascinated by the subject and wanted to perfect the potions she had learnt over the summer but couldn't put into practice. Hermione couldn't quite place why she didn't just tell her friends this. Subconsciously, a small part of her feared their judgement at her intentionally spending time with Snape. Besides, it wasn't like she could help him being awful.
The trio hurried down to the dungeons a little late and sidled into their chairs just in time for Snape to burst through the door, his robes billowing as usual. Hermione wondered if that was a spell. If so, she'd have to ask him; it really did add a lot to a person' intimidation factor, although Snape needed no help on that front.
"Slimy git" murmured Ron.
"He hasn't even spoken. You might at least give him the benefit of the doubt."
"He spoke to us on the first night. Good bloody welcome that was."
"Ron." Hermione chided.
Harry shot her a curious look she ignored under the guise of preparing some parchment for notes.
"You go ahead. I need to speak to him for a moment."
Harry looked at her peculiarly again, "Do you want us to wait?"
"No, it's fine. Thank you though."
Hermione walked cautiously towards Snape's desk, hoping the class had been sufficiently adequate for him to be in, well, not a good mood, but at least not a bad one.
"What do you want, Miss Granger?" He asked rather coldly but without malice. Hermione took that as a good sign.
"Sir, I was wondering if you might be able to offer me some tutoring? For extra credit or not. I would like to work more on my potions since we only have class twice a week. I thought you could help me?" She was glad her voice didn't tremble, but she could hear how rushed her speech sounded.
Snape peered at her for a moment until she broke his eye contact. At least he's considering it, she thought, tentatively optimistic.
"Very well," Hermione's head whipped up to look at him, "You look surprised Miss Granger."
"Not at all, sir, I just appreciate it; I understand it is rather an imposition when it is not necessarily…." She paused. "...necessary."
"Not necessarily necessary," He sneered, "I understand we do not teach eloquence, but perhaps I shall allow some time to tutor you in that as well."
Hermione chuckled and blushed, not entirely sure it was a joke. "I would very much appreciate it, sir; I would love to be able to get my ideas across more articulately."
Snape considered, "Monday afternoon, Wednesday in your free period, and Friday afternoon? You are free to use the lab, you know, whenever you would like. To practice, that is. Don't make a mess."
"Thank you, sir. I appreciate it."
"So you said." Hermione smiled faintly, "Alright." He looked up at her; his boundlessly black eyes met her amber ones. "Get out. Miss Granger." He snapped.
"Yes sir." She said and hurried out, trying not to skip through the door.
"We'll start on Monday." He called after her.
Stopping when it shut, she smiled and squealed with joy, running off to a free afternoon with Harry and Ron. Inside the classroom, Snape shook his head. Bemused at the sound coming from a girl he believed loathed him by default. As much as he hated precious Potter and his pet, Granger was an inquiring mind, even at thirteen. She had enormous potential, and he didn't want to drive her away from a subject purely because he despised her friends. Not admitting it to himself, he was rather keen for Monday to roll around.
3/9/1992
He said yes! I'm going to have tutoring with Severus (I have decided it is too long to be writing out professor every time). I can't wait, it will be so wonderful. He even offered to teach me how to speak nicely. I said my tutoring was 'not necessarily necessary', god, I feel like a bit of an idiot for that one. But I'm so excited. Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I thought I'd be lucky to get him one afternoon a week for about an hour, but apparently he was feeling exceptionally generous. Ahh, I can't stop giggling. I'm not sure why I am quite so ecstatic about it but I suppose… Well… it is rather nice for somebody to care enough to actually want to help me. I should go down to tea; Harry and Ron will wonder where I am.
- Hermione
Hermione shared his sentiment, waking early Monday morning. She took specific care getting ready, attempting to tame her frizzy hair. She vaguely considered her motives for wanting to look presentable today of all days. Hermione wanted Professor Snape to have a good opinion of her; she wasn't going to deny that she wanted to impress him however she could. She desperately wanted his approval, albeit in a different way from Lockhart, with whom she could not carry a conversation and remain porcelain. She hoped he was in a good mood.
7/9/1992
It's so early, the sun only just but I couldn't sleep. I have my first lesson with Snape today after school. He didn't specify when but I don't think he is teaching last period, so I'll head over at about 4:20, don't want to look as though I've been looking forward to it all day. I'm all fidgety just thinking about it. I do hope he is in a good mood, I suppose I didn't really think of that. Funny, it's the first thing Ron or Harry think when Snape comes to mind. What if he's being awful? And I have to be cooped up with him for three afternoons a week. That sounds like hell. But I guess, if it will help me improve. And I don't see why he should be foul if it is just me after all I've never done a thing to him. Besides setting him on fire but he doesn't know I did that. And I think I'll keep it that way. I think I can get him to like me. I don't see why not. I think I'm going to go down and have an early breakfast; I've got Herbology first, so I'll just study in the Great Hall.
- Hermione
Hermione was distracted through Herbology and Transfiguration; until Professor McGonagall chastised her in front of the class for daydreaming.
"Honestly, Miss Granger, kindly pay attention at the very least, so your friends don't kill their poor beetle."
Her cheeks burned. She so rarely got told off; even if McGonagall was not serious, it stung. She quickly apologised and fervently took notes for the remainder of the class. Charms and History were much the same; even Hermione couldn't always resist the drone of Binns' voice. So she sat, vaguely doodling on her parchment and imagining what Professor Snape would choose to teach her come 4:20. The clock ticked down far too slowly, but at last, the bell rang, and she practically ran out the door with a mumbled excuse to Harry.
"Acting a little strange, isn't she?" Harry commented to Ron.
He shrugged, "I dunno. If you say so." Harry frowned. It was so unlike her to be distracted so early in the term, but she didn't seem sad. He sighed. He wasn't about to ask her why she wasn't acting like a swot. Maybe she had realised over the summer there was more to life.
Hermione practically ran towards the Potions classroom, swiftly slowing down when she approached, trying to catch her breath.
Snape heard her hurried footsteps but waited a minute to call out.
"Come in, Miss Granger." She hadn't even knocked.
Cautiously she opened the door; the classroom was empty. Except him. At his desk. She was relieved he looked amicable.
"Hello," She offered, "How are you?"
"You needn't bother with pleasantries, Miss Granger." Her smile faltered, and he felt merciful. "Set up your cauldron, and we'll begin"
It was a surprisingly peaceful hour they spent together brewing a Forgetfulness potion; Hermione was almost surprised at the excellence of his teaching when the class wasn't filled with idiots. He explained everything so clearly she didn't need to guess whether the potion would turn out alright it just did. He was better than the textbook, telling her little steps to add that made the potion even better.
"And now we just leave it about twenty minutes before the last step. Would you like a drink."
Hermione was caught off guard by the casualness of his manner.
"Thank you, sir, I appre- that would be lovely."
She missed the slight smile which graced his lips upon catching the correction in her language. This wasn't so bad. She didn't come across as an intellectual snob when she was literally the only option for questions and not because everyone else was just incompetent.
"Tink!" He said loudly, startling Hermione.
"Yes sir?" A squeaking voice spoke from his knees.
"Hot chocolate?" He asked; she nodded absentmindedly as she examined the house elf.
"Two hot chocolates, please Tink and some biscuits."
"Very good, sir." The elf vanished.
"What was that, sir?" Hermione asked immediately. Snape stared at her. He had forgotten his brightest student was a muggle-born and probably, obviously, hadn't seen a house-elf before.
"It's a house-elf. They live and work in the kitchens."
"Oh," She said faintly, "That's… interesting."
Tink reappeared with their drinks; he handed one to her as the elf vanished with a crack. Watching, slightly bemused as she settled herself cross-legged on the table. He walked over, feeling the awkward distance at his desk, to seat himself two desks away. He offered her a biscuit.
She took it gladly. "Thank you, I hadn't realised I was so hungry."
"You did eat before you came?"
"No, I came straight from class, you didn't specify a time, and I didn't want to be late." She looked down, hoping she hadn't somehow offended him.
"You didn't need to do that." He said with surprising concern and a little chuckle. "I know it's difficult, but try not to become consumed by your studies. You have years of this," He gestured to the room around them. "it won't vanish. I don't teach before this; why don't you come at 4:30? That will give you enough time."
It was the first time Hermione had actually heard him laugh more than a secret whisper, and she was very touched by the concern he showed. All her other teachers merely complimented her work ethic and paid no mind to the fact that she spent all her time on work. It seemed strange, almost unimaginable, that it would be Snape that checked on her wellbeing. She smiled contentedly. They finished their drinks in relative silence as the potion bubbled away.
"Almost perfect," Her smile dropped.
"What did I do wrong?"
"Nothing in particular, but you can't expect perfection on the first try. We will do this one in class on Friday, and that should be enough for you to brew it near perfect. It is excellent, a valiant effort for your first attempt."
"Thank you, sir," She said, still mildly displeased as she packed up her things. "Thank you, sir. I very much enjoyed today."
"I will see you Wednesday afternoon."
"Goodbye, sir."
Hermione walked contentedly along the hallway, slowing as she came out of the dungeons to observe the grounds. It really was lovely in the early autumn light. She sighed. Gone were all the feelings of nervous excitement, and it had been replaced with a delightful feeling of being in the exact right place. Despite the debacle of the previous year, maybe this year... she could just learn. Take her classes and be tutored by Professor Snape three days a week. She would learn so much, and he could teach her other things too; how to properly research, how to experiment, how to teach. She giggled, how to speak eloquently. There were so many opportunities, she could do anything, and he would help her.
Harry and Ron looked up from their chess game when Hermione clambered through the portrait hole.
"Where've you been?" Harry asked.
"I had tutoring with Snape." They both stared at her, shocked.
"Snape? You spent your afternoon with Snape? And what do you need tutoring for?"
"Nothing Harry, I asked him if he would give me tutoring cause I'm interested in Potions. Long term, I'm considering something surrounding it as a possible career."
"Bit early for that, isn't it?" Ron interrupted.
"Well, it's not like I'm going to university next week; he's just helping me perfect my potions. On 'Monday, Wednesday, Friday'" She imitated Snape's clipped tone and chuckled.
"Your poor thing," Said Harry sympathetically, "That's an awful lot of time to spend with the git."
"He's actually quite nice. Well," Hermione considered, "He's not nice exactly. But he was cordial, and he is an excellent teacher. It saved so much time not having to wait for him to explain to and belittle three-quarters of our class. He even offered me a hot chocolate while we waited for the Forgetfulness potion to sit."
Harry and Ron roared with laughter, "You decided to spend your Monday afternoon sharing a cosy cocoa with slimy Snape." Ron managed to get out through his guffaws.
"Oh honestly, you two are incorrigible." But she joined in their laughter. That moment seemed so frozen in time, as though it was completely separate from their life at Hogwarts.
"Well, never mind Snape now. Have you two seen house elves? Did you know some of them to work at Hogwarts?" Hermione inquired, suddenly reminded of little Tink.
"Of course," Responded Ron. "Funny little things, mum's always saying she wished we could afford one for the washing."
Harry shrugged, clearly knowing as little as Hermione did.
"They are very common in wizarding households," Ron explained. "Especially rich ones, or large companies like Hogwarts. How else do you think the food is prepared?"
"I suppose I never thought about it," Hermione mused. "How fascinating. It seems a shame we haven't learnt about them before now. We seem so focused on the magic of wizard's its been completely passed over that there are a myriad of races with similar if not more exceptional abilities."
Ron yawned pointedly.
"Come on, Harry, let's finish this game." They turned back to the board as Hermione retrieved the Transfiguration essay McGonagall had set for Friday.
7/9/1992
It's the evening now, I'm just preparing for bed. I had my first lesson with Snape this afternoon and it was so lovely. He was so nice, I was very pleasantly surprised. He taught me a lot, helped me to follow the instructions perfectly, well, almost perfectly. When I left, I lingered just a while at the window in one of the corridors which looks out onto the grounds. I had the nicest feeling of contentment; I had the same one when I was sharing a hot cocoa with Snape while we waited for the potion to brew properly. As though if my life stayed this way, continued this way for eternity, I could not be unhappy. There was something so utterly calming about being in that room. It was so quiet, nothing from the outside world disturbed us. There was just the smell of earth and ingredients and something damp but not a bad, mouldy, damp. I wish I could return, Wednesday can't come quick enough. And I saw a house elf! The strangest little creature, it reached to about my waist and had bit long ears and a squeaky voice. If I'm honest, it was rather cute. Ron says they're common among Wizarding households and I can see why; they seem to be a sort of servant but Snape was very polite to the little thing (I don't know if it was a boy or girl). I worked on McGonagall's transfiguration essay this afternoon and evening, so that is almost finished; it would have been a lot easier had I actually paid attention in class but it was so difficult. My mind couldn't help but wander towards Snape, well it probably could, but I didn't want to stop it. I was just so excited for the lesson, and I am again but I know now he can be pleasant, more than pleasant in fact, he can be quite lovely. Well, my fingers are crossed for the future. Goodnight then. I don't want to be tired for double Defense tomorrow morning.
Hermione
8/9/1992
Well defence was a bit of a fiasco. But Lockhart is so clever. He has done so much, been all over the world fighting dark forces. I think he has a lot of potential to be a great teacher. It was great to have a hands-on lesson, and I was the one that stopped it all. I am, if I'm completely honest, really quite proud of myself. I had the idea to freeze the pixies, and in the end, we got them all back in their cage. It is a shame we don't have defence again this week; I suppose I'll have to wait until Monday. I can't wait!
- HG
Wednesday rolled around again, and Hermione could barely understand how she had already been back at Hogwarts for one week. Time had flown as usual; she was surprised magic hadn't made a way to slow it down. There just weren't enough hours in the day. Hermione was almost bursting with excitement once again as she made her way to Charms. She had forced herself to accept the fact that her extra lessons with Snape would not make her pass all classes. So, she worked diligently and continued to receive the praise she took so highly. However, while her drive was not gone, she found it somewhat diminished. Because while she wanted to do well, her thoughts were unbearably enticing, and she simply wished to spend all day looking at the beautiful countryside and thinking.
But the day sped by, just as surely as all the others had, and it wasn't long until she found herself outside the dungeons. Hermione had eaten this time, although very little. Few thoughts mortified her more than that of being sick in front of Snape. Still, she didn't want to antagonise him unnecessarily. She knocked.
"Come in," She entered, much more sure of herself than last time, meeting him once again at his desk. "Miss Granger."
"Good afternoon sir, how are you?" She asked brightly.
"Again with the pleasantries Miss Granger, you needn't bother."
"Well, how about a compromise, sir?" Hermione was in a good mood, hoping she didn't test him too far. "I can ask you pleasantries because it's polite, and you can just choose not to answer them." She rocked slightly on the balls of her feet, trying not to smirk. Not that he had ever resisted the urge. He started at her rather dumbfounded, thinking he may have misjudged how enjoyable these encounters would be. He sighed heavily but was in no mood to tell her off for rudeness.
"Never compromise, never apologise. It's a sign of weakness." He quipped. "The first lesson of eloquence in argument, Miss Granger."
She laughed at him, "Well, that does rather explain your approach to life, sir."
"Miss Granger!" What had gotten into the girl, "Get. Out. Your things." Snape said slowly, enunciating carefully.
She went to the desk at the front of the room this time and began to unpack her potions case.
"A fire protection potion today Miss Granger, do you know it?"
"Of course, sir, we used it last year," She paused. "In your little logic game." He stopped stacking his papers.
"Yes, naturally, I forgot..." He trailed off, shaking his head at his desk. "Never mind. Now you know its uses, you can brew it impeccably."
Hermione began cutting her ingredients. About halfway through, Snape stopped her, frowning at her textbook.
"Stir three more clockwise and then once anticlockwise."
"But sir, the book– ?"
"Do it, Miss Granger." She continued stirring as he hurried to the store cupboard behind his desk. Emerging with a somewhat battered copy of her own textbook.
"Use this," he said. "Follow the annotations, and you will find you turn out much better potions than the original could ever offer."
"Is this yours, sir?" He looked at her, deliberating. "No, it is an old student's who was wonderful at potions." He answered cryptically.
"Thank you, sir."
The rest of the time passed without event; the instructions in the book seemed to work perfectly, although Hermione had no experience with the potion to compare them to. Snape watched her in relative silence, occasionally offering a warning or comment. For the most part, she just enjoyed his presence. Potions seemed an unfortunate subject to do by yourself. Secretly, Professor Snape enjoyed her company as well, especially when she was so quiet and intent upon her work.
9/9/1992
He gave me a book, annotated beautifully with notes making the potions better. Whoever it was ought to write a proper potions book with all these corrections. I don't understand why the ones published are even minutely close to incorrect it just seems too strange; how can you publish a book for teaching young witches and wizards and not have it be the most effective version of a potion? Anyway, I so appreciate Snape giving me that book; he was very quiet this time. Fire protection potions don't have a waiting time so everything was over in about an hour. Still, there is something. I like being around him. I know I hardly know him. I literally know nothing about his life his feelings, or anything. But he's just... comforting. Like someone I do know, like my father. I hate making that connection. Obviously, he's not my dad, but like... it feels somehow similar. How I want to impress him but also. Something else. I don't know what. We've Astronomy tonight at midnight so I'm going to take a nap now, make sure I have a little sleep.
Farewell,
Hermione.
She hadn't wanted to write it down. What if someone found her letters? There must be a spell, a way to keep them safe that wasn't just at the bottom of her trunk. She couldn't risk the girls finding them.
I want Snape to care for me, Hermione thought. That's what it is, you can't kid yourself. You want him to be concerned. You want somebody to care. McGonagall would, does. But she's like mum and dad; she doesn't actually notice. But Snape might, he... he just might. And what if he did! Hermione criticised her own fantasy. What would you do then? Fall into his arms and cry, tell him all your woes and he would make them better. Cause he's really the comforting type. He would absolutely care about you and all the other students he has. That's all you are—just another student.
The thought made her so incredibly melancholic, she climbed miserably into bed, desperate now for sleep to distract her. Parvati came in, so she rolled over. The last thing Hermione wanted was for Parvati to see her cry. Silent tears streamed down her face; slowly...slowly, she told herself. No gasps. They cannot hear you. Nobody can hear you. She drifted into a very uneasy sleep, wrapping herself in imaginary arms of comfort.