A/N: Hey, it's me, I got loose. Listen, I know this Sarah is a little mixed up in the head, but think about it: 22ish, living with her dad, then in the CIA, then kicked out and working in the Buy More. How were you at 22? Oh, crap, gotta run
a/n: GET BACK IN YOUR HOLE!
I don't own Chuck
"So, I told you dad was a conman," she began.
"Listen, I am all for hearing this, but this is sort of a public place," Chuck said gently, laying a hand over hers. "I know somewhere we could talk."
"Are you trying to get me to take you to my apartment, Chuck?" she asked, with a raised eyebrow and a grin.
Chuck shook his head and chucked. "No, but I do know someplace where words sometimes seem a little… easier." She didn't verbally answer, but the quick head nod was all he needed. "Let's go."
}o{
She found herself sitting on the beach, beside Chuck, a short drive later. She had told him all about her dad; well, except for the very last part, the part that would change her life.
"So, fair to say, you didn't have the greatest of male role models?" Chuck asked, as the waves pounded against the surf. Sarah snorted. "And-and, I get it, about how that you think you might not understand love-"
"He was arrested, Chuck. He was arrested, and at that moment I was given a choice." She took a deep breath, still staring straight ahead. "I could go to jail, or join the CIA."
"CIA!?" Chuck nearly shouted. "How in the hell was that legal?"
"It wasn't," she replied with a shrug. "Get comfy, because this is the rest of my story."
}o{
It was well after midnight when she finished, and Chuck now understood how she ended up at the Buy More. She was certain he was going to break up with her now. Not that they were dating… were they?
"Still not buying it," he said, picking up a small rock and trying to skip it across the ocean, but failing. She turned toward him, an incredulous look on her face. "Not what you told me about your life… that, that you couldn't make up." He held her gaze. "I get you may not have had a normal relationship before, but that doesn't mean you can't."
"Chuck, I am all kinds of screwed up," she nearly whined. "You deserve someone better. Maybe in four or five years I would be able to better understand how to be in a relationship, but right now…" She trailed off, shaking her head.
"Or maybe you just need to be with someone who will call you on your bullshit," Chuck replied, shrugging. He felt her staring at him, her eyes nearly bugging out of her head. "You know, it's funny. Before I met you, I would never have said that to you. I would have found some way to keep trying, quietly. But you've made a costly mistake, Sarah Walker."
"And what mistake is that?" Sarah asked.
"You told me you care about me, and that… that's gonna be your downfall."
"My downfall?"
"Your downfall," he repeated. "I'm going to be here, and you are going to have to literally run me off. But I am going to show you that relationships can be whatever you want them to be, you just have to want them."
"I do want them, Chuck, I do. I get it. My rules sound insane, and God, if it was anyone else but you, I wouldn't even have them. They're there to protect the person I care about: You."
"There, you said it again, you care about me," Chuck pointed out.
"You would not make a great spy," she said, shaking her head. "You seem to keep forgetting I've already said all of this to you, about caring about you."
"Good," he chirped. "Because I care about you."
"You are going to be stubborn about this, aren't you?"
"If you sincerely mean for me to back off, I will," Chuck told her. She raised an eyebrow. "That sounded stalker-ish; let me try again."
"You're gonna call me on my bullshit," Sarah said softly. Chuck nodded. She looked up at the sky. "Gah."
He leaned over, his lips stopping right by her ear. "Do you really not want to date me?"
"I'm confused as to what the right answer is," she admitted, her eyes shut, fighting off laughter. "I do want to date you. I just don't think I should."
"For my sake?" She nodded. "I'm a big boy."
"I don't want to ever hurt you like Jill did," she said. She opened her eyes, bringing her head down, turning, and looked him in the eyes. Their lips were inches apart.
"Jill cheated on me with the guy that got me kicked out of Stanford," Chuck reminded her, leaning in just a little.
"So I shouldn't…" she trailed off, her eyes focused on her lips.
"What?"
"This," she said as she leaned over, cupped his face, and kissed him soundly. A little bit later she pulled away.
"See, that's bullshit… you should."
She smiled warmly at him.
}o{
Chuck was sitting at the Nerd Herd desk when he saw her walk in the next morning.
The date had ended shortly after the kiss. Chuck had told her he'd see her in the morning. As she began to walk by the desk, to take her things to her locker, he couldn't help but notice the smirk on her face. Chuck hopped over the counter, managing to fall into step beside her.
"Mr. Bartowski," she said, the smirk still on her face.
"Miss Walker," he replied. "The band is wondering if you will be attending practice this evening."
"I can," she told him. She stopped, and turned to him, her eyebrow arched. "Why?"
"Anna wants to do a duet with me, and she wants, and I quote, 'Someone with a damn brain in their head,' to tell us if it's good or not," Chuck informed her.
"I'll be there," Sarah told him. She looked around. "Listen, I thought it over, and I don't think we should date."
"I see," Chuck replied. "So, are we broke up? Or never together to start with?"
"Chuck," Sarah began, looking stricken.
"BARTOWSKI!" Big Mike bellowed.
"Hey, I need to go, can we talk after practice?" Chuck asked her. She nodded. He winked at her, turned, and headed toward Big Mike. She had done the right thing, she was sure of it.
She sighed.
If she was so damn sure of it, why was it hurting so much?
"Miss Walker," a voice said behind her, making her turn. "I'm Robert Marks, and I've been told to talk to you about the band that has been playing at the Buy More."
"They've only played once," Sarah said, wondering what was going on.
"I know, but we think we might have an offer for them to tour the Buy Mores of California," Robert said, handing her a piece of paper. She stared at it. "Too low?"
"Is that for all of them?" she asked, in a low tone.
"No, that's for each of them," Robert said. Sarah lifted her head, shock on her face. "A group of nerds singing in a band? It's the dream."
Sarah didn't know what to say.
}o{
"Finally, she's here," Lester said, disgust in his voice. "Anna, Chuck, you're up." He moved over, and took Chuck's guitar. Chuck moved over to the keyboard, and Anna stood beside him. "Maybe you two will shut up now," he muttered. Anna gave him a withering look. "Because I don't want you to ruin your perfect pipes," Lester added quickly. "Who's the suit?"
"He's interested in hiring you, but he wants to hear you," Sarah told him. She saw the smile on Chuck's face. She knew what he was thinking. He was thinking hearing Lester once, would end things. What Chuck didn't know was Robert, who was an Executive Vice-President of something – she had tuned that part out, still shocked at them being offered a contract – was fine with Lester. It was Chuck he wanted to hear sing. Chuck began to play the piano, and after the intro, Anna began to sing.
Who knows what tomorrow brings
In a world few hearts survive
Chuck took it from there.
All I know is the way I feel
When it's real, I keep it alive
The road is long
There are mountains in our way
But we climb a step every day
Anna then joined in with him.
Love lift us up where we belong
Where the eagles cry
On a mountain high
Love lift us up where we belong
Far from the world below
Up where the clear winds blow
As the two took turns singing the duet, Sarah felt her knees weaken; her resolve of them not dating was fading quickly.
She couldn't. She couldn't screw him up. She didn't know how to be the girlfriend that Chuck Bartowski deserved. Furthermore, what if she fell in love with him? The part of her mind that she had been trying to ignore spoke to her softly. How could she not?
Some hang on to used to be
Live their lives looking behind
All we have is here and now
All our lives, out there to find
These lyrics were hitting her right in the gut. They were calling her out, and she did not appreciate it one bit.
The road is long
There are mountains in our way
But we climb a step every day
Love lift us up where we belong
Where the eagles cry
On a mountain high
Love lift us up where we belong
Far from the world we know
Where the clear winds blow
Time goes by
No time to cry
Life's you and I
Alive today
Love lift us up where we belong
Where the eagles cry
On a mountain high
Love lift us up where we belong
Far from the world we know
Where the clear winds blow
Love lift us up where we belong
Where the eagles cry
On a mountain high
Love lift us up where we belong
"Excellent!" Robert said, clapping. "Just excellent."
"Thank you," Anna said, turning to Lester and glaring at him. "Some people just don't recognize talent when they hear it," she told Robert.
Robert laughed. "Miss Walker told me that sometimes you do sing solo, Mr. Bartowski. Is it possible that you might have something for us?"
Chuck locked eyes with Sarah, a soft smile on her face. "Well, I do, but see, she helps me focus. I'm not the star that Lester is."
"No one is," Lester added.
"Obviously," Robert replied. Lester beamed, missing the sarcasm. "Miss Walker, can you help Mr. Bartowski?"
"Sir, that's not fair of us to ask her, to put her on the spot like this," Chuck cut in. She gave him a look, then saw the smile on his face. She knew exactly what he was doing. "I mean, that's a lot of pressure on her, in front of so many-"
"Sing to me, Chuck," she said, emphasizing the k.
"Are you sure, Sarah?" he asked, the smile gone. He was serious, now, and she knew he had something in his back pocket.
"I can deal with whatever you sing… Nerd," she added.
"Well, I look forward to this," Robert said. Chuck got up, and Lester handed him back his guitar.
Chuck began a familiar guitar riff, and Sarah thought she might be in trouble. As he began to sing, she knew that she no longer thought she was in trouble. She knewshe was in more trouble than she knew what to do with.
Here I am, I'm in the wrong bed again
It's a game I just can't win
There you are breathin' soft on my skin, yeah
Still you won't let me in
This was dirty damn pool. She would be absolutely furious with him, if she didn't know deep-down, she deserved this after what she had done to him regarding the rules of dating her, and then telling him this morning they weren't going to date. She couldn't help being extremely impressed. She was falling hard, and she didn't know what to do.
Why save your kisses for a rainy day
Baby let the moment take your heart away
Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone
You just couldn't have
Did you ever try so hard
That your world just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad
And to the girl I gotta have
I gotta have you baby
She was glad she had moved to lean against a wall, as he looked her right in the eyes and sang those last two lines. She wanted him in the worst way… she wanted him so bad she'd take him with her in a hammock together. (Do the math, people.). Their eyes were locked, and when he licked his lips to moisten them to sing, she thought she might explode, fly up on stage to take him right there. She didn't know what was in his mind, but he was playing a dangerous game of which he had no idea of the rules, or consequences.
There you go, midnight promises again, yeah
But they're broken by the dawn
That was literally what had happened to them last night. She had all but promised him. She may not have said the words, but as the sun rose this morning, and as she lay there, not sleeping, thinking about the wonderful man that was Chuck Bartowski, she realized she couldn't do this to him. He deserved more than her. He deserved the best, and that was not Sarah Walker.
You want to go further, faster every day, baby
But in the morning you'll be gone
And I'm alone
And that was exactly what would happen. She had no doubt if they were together, they would make love. She had no doubt it would be amazing, life-changing, and it would stay with her for the rest of her life. She also knew the guilt would grip her, she would push him away, and he would, in fact, be alone.
Why save your kisses for a rainy day
Baby let the moment take your heart away
He stared into her eyes as he sang those two lines. He looked past her eyes, deep within her, to her soul. She felt things lurch within her she had never felt in her life. What was he saying? What was he implying? Was he even implying anything? He had to be, why else would he be staring into her soul as he sung those words.
Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone
You just couldn't have
Did you ever try so hard
That your world just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad
Chuck began a guitar solo, then looking at her like she was the only person left in the world as he sung.
Every dream I dream is like
Some kind of rash 'n' reckless scene
To give out such crazy love
You must be some kind of drug
And if my time don't ever come
For me you're still the one
Damned if I don't, damned if I do
I gotta get a fix on you
It was at that moment, Sarah Walker put her virtual hand on the voice that was yelling in her head that she should never have any type of sexual relationship with Chuck Bartowski, and shoved that voice into a closet, locked the door, and threw the key over a cliff.
Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone
You just couldn't have
Did you ever try so hard
That your world just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad
Have you ever wanted someone
Did you ever try so hard
That your world just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad
And to the girl I gotta have
I gotta have you baby
It's a game I just can't win
Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone
Sarah turned to the Buy More executive. "Well?" she asked.
"I like what I've heard," he admitted. The two turned and walked toward his vehicle, in which they had arrived. When Sarah got there, she glanced back at the garage where the band had been practicing.
The executive smiled. "You're going to wait for him, aren't you?"
Robert had no idea what he was really asking her, with that question. She smiled at him. "Yeah, I think I will," she said. Robert got in his car, waved, and drove off.
The band slowly came out of the garage as Sarah waited. She saw Chuck come out, and before he could speak, she did. "Could I get you to give me a ride home and help me out?"
"Sure," Chuck replied. "Social media giving you fits again?" She said nothing, just grinned at him. They got in the car, driving in silence. She pulled her mask up, knowing what he was wondering. Did he go too far? What he didn't know is he hadn't gone far enough.
Not yet.
They arrived at Mason 23. Chuck parked, and walked her to the elevator. They took it to her floor, got out of the car, and walked over to her door. She opened it, let him go in, and shut the door. With her right hand, she locked the door behind her, and with her left she grabbed his right shoulder, spun him around, and then spun them both, shoving him back against the door.
She closed the distance between them in a blink, her lips inches from his. "How bad do you need me… Chuck?" she asked emphasizing the k as hard as she could.
She suddenly found herself spun, her back to the door, as he stood in front of her. He had a grin on his face as he reached up and gently tucked a loose hair behind her ear. "Don't ask that question unless you want me to show you," he said, in a low voice.
"Chuck me."
a/n: Up Where We Belong by Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes. Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad by Def Leppard. If you're interested there is a Spotify playlist for this fic called. Ladies and Gentlemen…JEFFSTER!