a/n: CQ: Okay, I'm letting you out but ONE wrong move…back in your cage.

DC: Sit back, I got this.

I don't own Chuck

Chuck stood at the Nerd Herd desk, a persistent grin fused to his face.

In the two weeks Chuck and Sarah had been dating, they had broken up three times, and gotten back together three times. It usually happened in the morning after they woke up together, tangled, not knowing where one began and the other ended. Sarah would wake, have a look of peace on her face, and then Chuck would watch as her brain took over, telling her whatever it was that it told her. By the time she looked at him, he knew what she was going to do.

She would calmly explain how she cared for him, but being with her was a bad idea for him. He would listen, tell her he thought she was worth it, but would respect her decision. Usually, by lunch, she had changed her mind and was back with him.

Chuck knew how much her prior life was affecting her, and he would take this at whatever pace she needed, and deal with whatever breakups/get-back-togethers that happened. She was worth it, and he thought she was slowly coming around.

Last night's gig had seen a true union of the band. While playing Poison's Nothin' But A Good Time, Chuck and Lester had shared the mike, and had the entire place dancing. Chuck had seen Sarah in the crowd, her eyes closed and a smile gracing her face, moving to the music. The band was running like a well-oiled machine, and Lester wasn't trying to sing notes out of his range. After the show was over, Sarah asked him to come back to her place, and he stayed the night.

This morning he was waiting for it. He'd seen the look on her face, and when she looked up at him, he braced himself. She didn't say anything, though… she just gently rubbed his cheek with her hand, kissed him lightly on the lips, and told him she had to get ready for work. He thought to remind her he had to go in before her, but it was obvious she needed to be alone with her thoughts.

This had to be handled delicately. He knew he was falling in love with her, and he wondered, deep down, if she wasn't falling in love with him. And if she was, how terrified was she? He had to take this at her pace, had to make some sacrifices, not because she was selfish, not because she was demanding; she was the furthest thing from demanding. No, she was scared, and had no idea how to proceed. She cared for him, and he had to show her that he was worth taking that chance, no matter how long that took.

He looked up as the door slid open, and his grin grew into a full-on smile. She saw him, and couldn't stop the amused look on her face as she continued to walk toward the back. Coming out from behind the desk quickly, he fell in step with her.

"Hey, we need to talk," Chuck said, glancing at her, and seeing her grow a grin of her own.

"Pretty sure that's what we're doing," she said, giving him a side-eye glance, as she suppressed a chuckle.

"Well played," he replied. "So, I am a little confused, and not sure how to proceed. I need to clarify something."

"I'd say you're a lot confused, but go ahead," she noted, as they headed down the hallway to her locker. Stopping, she opened it, and turned to him, still sporting her grin.

Chuck leaned against the locker. "I know this hasn't been easy for you."

"Oh, God… you mean we're really gonna talk," she grumbled. She sighed as she started putting her stuff into her locker.

"I just want you to know that, again, whatever is going on in your head that you think you're putting me through, I think it's worth it."

"I think the Buy More has driven you you insane," she told him, glancing his way.

He felt compelled to nod in agreement. "I don't disagree with that at all." Sarah shook her head, trying not to giggle at him. "But, to go forward with my day, I need to know if we're broken up again, or not." She shut the door of her locker and turned toward him, her mask in place on her face. "Because if we are broken up, I need to go into, Chuck-Bartowski-wooing-ex-girlfriend mode-"

"Wait… what if we're not broken up, but I just want to be wooed?" Sarah asked.

"I'm glad you asked."

"I'm sure you are," she retorted, shaking her head, grinning, and heading toward the Nerd Herd desk. "By the way, are you packed for the trip?"

"I am," Chuck replied, falling in step behind her. "I always try to woo you, Sarah Walker. You're just so damn… wooable."

"Wooable?" she asked, turning to him like he had lost his mind. "What the hell does that even mean?"

He took her hand, stopping her, and she turned to him. "That you are worthy of being shown how amazing you are. How worthy you are. How much you make my life better just by being in it. It's nothing physical… although, I do enjoy the physical."

"As do I," she said, bouncing a shoulder, making him grin.

"Even if I'm not 'the guy', you need to know that you are worth everything," Chuck finished.

"Chuck, don't fall in love with me," she said softly.

"Sarah, if I do, that shows you that you're lovable."

"But if you do, I have to break up with you," she reminded him.

"No, you don't." He took both of her hands in his. "That's a rule you made, and while it is your rule – and you can follow it if you want – you don't have to."

"You think it's a dumb rule?"

"It is not a rule I would have made. But I am not you, and quite frankly, no one else is like you, Sarah Walker." She stood there, in stunned silence. "So, are we broken up?"

She shook her head. "But we are going to take a break when you go on tour. It's not fair to you, if we aren't."

"I don't want to. There's not going to be anyone for me," Chuck told her.

"No, you may have just rebounded off her to me. You need to be free. What you do is up to you," Sarah insisted.

"Sarah, there's no one else," he told her, squeezing her hand. Across the store, Big Mike yelled. Chucked looked in the direction of the commotion, then back to Sarak. "Talk later?"

"Date tonight?" she countered. He smiled at her, and she returned it. He walked toward Big Mike.

"There's no one else for me, either," she said softly, shaking her head. She blew out a rough breath, and headed to the counter.

}o{

She had asked him to bring a pizza to her apartment, and that that she really didn't feel like going anywhere. She knew deep down in her soul that tonight was it. Someone that great, that wonderful… he would have no difficulty finding someone else. Maybe on tour, maybe not, but tonight it was the beginning of the end. Tonight was going to be it for them, but she was going to be selfish, and make it about her, as well. She knew she shouldn't, but inside… inside, she was dying. This was going to be it. He'd find someone, someone not broken like her. Someone without stupid rules, that could understand their feelings, that could talk about their feelings.

He would find someone that could love him the way he deserved to be loved. And deep-down, it would kill her, because she loved him. She knew she did, and that's why she had to let him go… to be with someone that deserved him, not an emotional basketcase like her.

After they ate, he tried to talk. She couldn't let him, because she was weak. She would agree with him they weren't on a break. She would let him stay with her, even though he shouldn't. Tonight, she needed one thing, and one thing only. To make love to Chuck Bartowski… and she did. She was with him mind, body, and soul. She loved how he made her giggle and then, two seconds later, her eyes crossed with pleasure. How one second, she thought she would go out of her mind with lust, and the next, she orgasmed so hard she wasn't sure of her own name.

She would never forget the way his hand felt against her skin, how it made her hiss, and the smile it brought to Chuck's lips. His lips… she would never forget those if she lived to be a thousand. She would never forget those if she lived a thousand lifetimes. The way they felt on her lips, her skin. The way he took his time, to the point she thought she would scream, and then when he was attacking her like she was air and he needed her to live.

She wasn't sure how it could simultaneously be the greatest night of her life, and the worst night of her life. She wasn't sure how she was going to survive without him. She wasn't sure how she'd survived before she met him. As the night turned to dawn and the two of them slept, exhausted and totally spent, she felt him pull her close. She felt his lips press into her hair, and she heard the words he spoke.

She knew in the pit of her stomach that nothing would ever be the same again.

}o{

"Why aren't we in my van?" Jeff asked for the fourth time in twenty minutes. "I could fit everything in there, and it smells better."

"Smells better?" Morgan asked Chuck softly, leaning over to him.

"It's weed, Morgan," Chuck explained. "All the weed they've smoked in there, that's what he's talking about."

Morgan looked over at Chuck, who had been quiet most of the ride. "Dude, what happened?"

"I promised myself there was something I would never do to Sarah," Chuck replied, looking out the window. "Then, I did it. I didn't think she would hear me, but she did. And now… now, I've ruined everything."

"Chuck, all you have to do is talk to her."

"Morgan, she won't talk to me. We're on a break, and I'm sure she's going to find someone else, after what I did." Chuck continued to stare out the window, his heart breaking. Morgan studied him a minute, shook his head, and pulled out his phone.

Hey, Chuck is all depressed and looking worse than when Peaches had to go upstate. (Long story, Peaches was dead, but Ellie didn't have the heart to tell him.) He thinks you're with someone else.

Morgan sent the text, sat back, and felt proud of himself for fixing that issue. A second later his phone pinged.

There is no one else for me. But I am giving him space to find someone else. Listen, I'm going to miss all of you, so if I go silent, it's just me dealing with stuff in my own way. Show them how awesome you are, and I'll watch on YouTube.

"Hey, Chuck." Chuck turned to Morgan. "She says there's no one else." Chuck sat there a moment. "I texted her." Chuck still sat there, and Morgan handed him the phone. Chuck read it, and looked up at Morgan. "What happened?"

"I messed up, Morgan," Chuck told him.

"Then fix it," Morgan said with a shrug, taking back his phone.

"It's not that simple," Chuck argued.

"Chuck, it's Sarah. It is." Chuck turned his head toward the window, and watched the road go by. He turned back to Morgan, his eyes wide. Morgan grinned. "Fix it."

}o{

They had played their last song, and the crowd was chanting for Chuck. Morgan walked up to him. "What are you singing?" he asked.

"You sure about this?"

"Absolutely. It's Sarah. Anna is going to video the whole thing. It's livestreaming on YouTube right now," Morgan explained. Chuck nodded, and walked to the stool that was sitting in the middle of the stage, a microphone in front of it, a spotlight beaming down on them.

Chuck sat as the crowd's cheers dissipated. "We'd like to thank everyone for coming out tonight," Chuck began. He stood, reaching over to take the mic out of the stand. "I had a song I was going to play on the guitar, but I think tonight this calls for something different." He took the mic over to the piano, the spotlight following him. Putting the mic in the stand there, he sat down, playing a few notes on the piano.

"This life is hard," he began. "We all go through things. Some of them we share, and some of them we bury. But eventually, we have to deal with everything. Tonight, I want to sing for you a song about who I am, about what I believe, and what I stand for." He started to play, but paused. "Usually when I do this, I have a friend who has me sing to them, to block out the nerves. That friend can't be here tonight, and I miss them." He nodded at that, and began to play the piano and sing.

Highway run

Into the midnight sun

Wheels go round and round

You're on my mind

Restless hearts

Sleep alone tonight

Sendin' all my love

Along the wire

Sarah stared at the screen in front of her, his voice nearly assaulting her. She knew who he was singing to. She knew exactly, because she had told him to.

They say that the road

Ain't no place to start a family

Right down the line

It's been you and me

And lovin' a music man

Ain't always what it's supposed to be

Oh girl you stand by me

I'm forever yours, faithfully

She closed her eyes. He wasn't finding anyone else. He wasn't going to make sure she wasn't his rebound. He knew she wasn't.

Hell, she knew she wasn't.

Circus life

Under the big top world

We all need the clowns

To make us smile

Through space and time

Always another show

Wondering where I am

Lost without you

And being apart ain't easy on this love affair

Two strangers learn to fall in love again

I get the joy

Of rediscovering you

Oh girl, you stand by me

I'm forever yours, faithfully

Part of her said she should grab all her things, throw them in a suitcase, and disappear off of the face of the earth. He deserved so much better than her. That part was screaming at her, that she needed to run, that she would hurt him, she wasn't worthy of him.

Another part of her dragged the screaming one to a closet, slammed the door shut, and locked her inside. She stared at his eyes on the screen, and she heard what he said, play in her mind. She was going to be the destruction of him by her staying. She was going to hurt him, but she wanted him. She wanted them. She didn't deserve it, but she wanted it.

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Faithfully, I'm still yours

I'm forever yours

Ever yours, faithfully

Tears fell from her eyes as Chuck finished singing. She could hear the crowd roaring, but she saw that he was staring straight at where Anna was filming, and he blew the camera a kiss.

"You've made the biggest mistake of your life, Chuck Bartowski," she said softly, to no one.

The thing was she wasn't sure, for the first time, that she believed it.

a/n: Today's music includes Faithfully by Journey