Location Unknown

Early January

The world coalesced around him slowly and with much pain. Jet didn't think his head had ever ached this badly before, not even during the first few weeks of hangovers after Alisa had disappeared.

Every heartbeat pumped fresh agony through his skull in tandem with the old ache of the bullet wound in his thigh and the phantom pain of his arm. He felt faint, like he had no body at all, only a jumble of hurts to connect him to reality.

His mouth was both sticky and dry simultaneously. His throat was desperate to swallow but having trouble with what was normally something he never even had to think about. Everything around him was an out of focus blur, but a sudden movement nearby made him lash out.

Except he couldn't. His wrists and ankles were somehow bound. And the attempted lurch was the wrong move for his skull - nausea surged through him and he vomited on himself. Better than choking on it, but not by much.

A voice was making noises but he couldn't understand. Darkness, blessed darkness, teased at his vision and soon took him under.

The light in the room had changed by the time he jerked awake again. The headache remained, scarcely diminished at all, but his vision was thankfully clear this time. If he had a concussion, then sleeping was one of the worst things he could have done - that was an easy way to never wake up in this world again.

There were candles flickering on a nearby dresser. Dozens of smells vied with each other for dominance - herbs, spices, the musty odor of dead flowers, a pungent incense that seemed to be clogging his senses. He reeled. Had he been drugged?

"Blessed are we who have been given this man," A woman's voice, warbly and thin with age, crooned somewhere in his vicinity but out of his line of sight. He was still restrained.

"Wha-" Jet tried to speak but his own voice was a weak croak. He'd seldom felt so wretched - worse even than when that mutant lobster had bitten him back on the ship.

"You are the answer that I have prayed for and blessed are we for being answered. Praise to Him and rejoice!" Her voice changed abruptly after that as she began chanting in a language that Jet didn't recognize. Which was disconcerting - he knew quite a few languages.

The woman stepped away from the headboard to which he was tied. The bed must not be flush against the wall because she'd been somehow in front of the frame he was bound to. In her hands was a wooden bowl which she tipped over his chest - which was bare! Where were his clothes?! - and he hissed at the unexpected heat of the contents.

Blood and ashes?

"This is Eustace, my Eustace. He grew too feeble and was only good for a stew. But I kept enough of him to transfer over to you…"

She hummed to herself as she set the bowl aside and began to smear the congealing paste across his naked skin. Her watery eyes were fixed dreamily on her work. She barely seemed to register that he was straining to escape from beneath her trembling hands.

The door behind her smashed open, right off its hinges, to reveal the most wonderful sight Jet had ever laid his eyes upon.

Spike and Faye, side by side and each with a gun pointed steadily at the old woman.

She was startled by their arrival but not as upset as one would expect. In fact, a delighted smile grew on her face as she regarded them.

"Blessed be! More answered prayers!"

"Keep your blessings to yourself, you old hag!" Faye snapped.

"I will keep you all as He has willed and it shall be good!" The old woman responded triumphantly.

"You don't want us, lady. We like living in sin." Spike told her. "You shot down our friend and we want him back. You wanna stay alive, granny? Step aside."

"Spi-" Jet tried. He couldn't get words out.

Faye's gun stayed trained on the woman but her eyes darted nervously to Jet. He couldn't imagine he made a pretty picture. How could he warn them that this woman was mad? That she'd murdered at least one other person already.

In another moment it didn't matter.

The woman's face transfigured before their eyes into a grotesque mask of fury as she launched herself, hands covered in sooty blood, towards the new arrivals. She had barely lunged in their direction before Spike and Faye had both fired their guns point blank at her.

Relief flooded through Jet. He sagged against the straw-stuffed mattress and closed his eyes to try to ease his pounding head. Sounds around him told the tale of Faye undoing his restraints while Spike inspected the room and moved the body out of the way. A blanket was draped over his body until someone found his clothes and he opened his eyes to aid Spike in dressing him so they could leave.

"Think you can stand?" Faye's voice, but it was Spike's hand resting reassuringly on his good shoulder. "Easy now, easy!" She called as Jet grit his teeth and tried to help Spike lever him to his feet.

For a moment he didn't think he was going to be able to stand after all, but Spike steadied him until he felt a touch more self-reliant. Not that he needed to be. Faye and Spike came up under his arms, one on each side, offering their help in carrying his stumbling weight outside the room and then through a rickety old country house.

Parked in the dust of the farmyard were the Swordfish II and the RedTail, though there was no sign of his own Hammerhead. He let his crewmates lead him to Faye's vehicle and did what he could to assist them in getting him loaded inside.

Faye rummaged through the ever-present trash on the floor of her ship briefly and came up with a bottle of water that she gave him. Water, oh glorious water!

"I'm gonna program the RedTail to take you back to the Bebop, okay? Don't try to get out until we get there or you'll land on your face." Faye fastened him into the harness he'd never seen her use once. Still, probably smart because otherwise he might pass out on the controls.

He glared at her for the comment about falling on his face but kept drinking the water.

"We'll pick up the Hammerhead. I can tow it back from where it crashed." Spike assured him.

"What happened anyway?" He finally managed to ask. He could feel his consciousness beginning to ebb away. His crew was here - he was saved… he was safe.

"You got shot down and… I dunno… kidnapped? That old broad staged a rescue I guess but I'm pretty positive she's the reason you wrecked in the first place. You're lucky Ed's got trackers on all our ships. When you didn't come back from getting food we knew something was up and she found you for us." Spike answered.

Huh. It sort of rang a bell. He hadn't even gotten to the market before he'd been taken out. Well, he sure owed Ed something nice - he would have been in serious trouble otherwise.

Faye gave him a little salute as she closed up the pod from the outside and stepped away from the ship. He could see as she walked over to Spike to join him in his ship. The RedTail's engines fired up and soon the ship was launching into the air, but not before he watched Spike take Faye into his arms, pressing her against the zipcraft as they kissed.

It wasn't quite as jarring to see them affectionate these days. He'd gotten used to it and really… it was nice to see them both so carefree and capable of owning up to their emotions. Love and companionship - those were the true blessings folks needed in life and he had been blessed plenty with the friends he had in his. It was rewarding to see his friends - who had gone through so much before joining him on the Bebop and since - finally able to bask in happiness and love.

xxx

On Mars

Mid January

Faye was so mad at him that she was beyond words. They hadn't spoken in hours now. But...it was getting cold and he was still exuding body heat as if he were a furnace… and she had always loathed being cold…

Slowly, she edged nearer to his position on the train platform. He wasn't even on the bench but sitting on the ground beside the bench next to a pillar which he was leaning his head against. His eyes were closed but she had no doubt that he was well aware of her incremental shifts in his direction.

A cool gust of air swept past them, making her hair dance briefly and sending a fresh chill down her spine. Of all the days to be underdressed of course it would be the day they missed their connection from Alva to Alba City. They'd left their zipcraft in Alba when they'd snuck aboard the hyper train to Alva and her remote just didn't have the necessary range to call her zipcraft over from where they were now.

Irritatingly, they'd purchased actual train tickets for their return to Alba, but getting the bounty processed had taken just enough extra time to apparently doom them to a night under the stars at the station. Though technically there was a roof that stretched along the waiting terminal they were in at present. It's not like they were the only ones in this predicament either as several other travelers were in a state of dismay or rage and making a scene of some sort.

Faye had already done that and it had gotten her absolutely nowhere. All it really did was frustrate Spike to the point where he'd wandered off to pretend he didn't know the crazy lady screaming at the kiosk. Eventually she'd given up. It had taken her a few minutes to find where Spike had posted up and she had joined him on the bench only for him to give her a scathing look before he scooched himself right onto the ground.

So now he was cranky with her and she was still cranky with him for causing such a commotion grabbing the bounty that they'd had to deal with customs. Neither of them were in the right, but both could be forgiven for their anger given the circumstances. For hours now they'd privately fumed and it was getting late, getting cold, and still the last train for the night was not here because there had been an issue somewhere else on the track.

The breeze returned, showing signs it planned to linger this time.

She shivered and crept just a touch closer. She could almost feel the warmth of his body radiating out towards her, pulling her in. He exerted a force of gravity that she was compelled to give in to. She knew full well just how capable he was at keeping her warm and it was hard to stay mad knowing that if she just apologized for her tirade he would probably give her the jacket off his back. But she didn't want to apologize. They had gotten a bit better at communicating but apologies were something else entirely. Admittance of an error or unnecessary bitchy behavior? No fucking way.

Something crinkly landed on the bench between her and the end of it. A packaged pastry treat from a vending machine. Faye's mouth dropped open in shock. She'd been starving for hours. They hadn't had time to dine on the train to Alva and had to run full pelt for the departing train only to watch it pull away just as they'd reached the platform. She hadn't noticed a vending machine anywhere in all that time but she also hadn't been looking.

With glee she tore into the package and stuffed the whole pastry into her mouth. It was a blueberry flavor - maybe. But honestly she didn't give a shit about flavor - it was food and that was all that mattered. With their line of work and frequency of being broke or reliant on the kindness of others for a meal, it was a good thing none of them had food allergies or any food dislikes. Although that wasn't entirely true… it's more that they'd put up with a food they didn't like if it meant having something, anything, in their stomachs.

Closing her eyes to savor the last of the crumbs on her tongue, she sniffed at the air as a new and welcome aroma wafted her way. Fuck the breeze for being cold but oh did she ever appreciate that cloud of tobacco and nicotine reaching her nose now.

"You want one?" Spike's voice was indifferent, a casual offer to someone who may as well be a stranger. Clearly she was still in his bad graces. But to be fair she wasn't ready to be friendly with him again just yet anyway.

She opened her eyes and saw he had a bent cigarette lit in his mouth and a similarly crooked one offered in her direction. She'd seen the customs agent take his pack, citing something about smoking laws, but clearly he'd been able to finagle it back. Or maybe he'd been able to sneak a few out before it was confiscated. Either way, she was overjoyed at his generosity and snatched greedily at his offering.

They smoked in silence for a few minutes, letting their vice calm their frustration and make them into more bearable human beings. After a day of work chasing down a particularly elusive bounty, on empty stomachs and with no real food, the hassle of confiscated cigarettes, and long hours spent on the platform just waiting in limbo, it was no wonder they were both so short tempered. But between the junk food and the smoke, Faye was starting to feel decidedly more charitable towards her partner.

"You just gonna sit on the cold ground all night?" She asked eventually, crushing the cigarette butt against the bench. She could be the bigger person and make an overture to him, especially if it encouraged him to share his body warmth so she could stop shaking.

Spike glanced at her, looking abruptly guilty. "Uh… so there's an air vent above me…"

She blinked at him. "What?"

He reached a hand towards her. "Fuck the bench, c'mere."

Faye let him pull her down and felt a blast of warm air coming down from the heater vent running along the roof. She looked around and realized belatedly that there were several vents scattered along the length of the platform and blowing down heat. He'd been basking in this for the entire time she'd been freezing on that bench?!

"Oh, my god." She shivered anew as her body adjusted to this much warmer breeze. Spike had drawn her down to sit in front of him, between his spread legs. She looped her arms around his bent knees and leaned back against his chest, keeping her own knees drawn up towards her body to keep all her limbs in the outpouring of heated air.

"Well this sucks," She huffed tiredly. "I can't believe they haven't figured out the issue with the train yet."

"Ehhh it's whatever, Faye. Life is full of hassles, don't let them get you down. Make the most of a bad situation, you know?" Spike was all laid back nonchalance - something that she occasionally found annoying but more often something she wanted to emulate. Maybe it could be that easy though. She had plenty of experience shrugging off the bullshit, it just usually made her feel better to vent about it at the top of her lungs first.

"Whatever happens, happens eh?" She remarked, throwing a statement she'd heard him make numerous times before right back at him.

"Could be worse. Least we've got each other right now." He pointed out. As if to emphasize this, he leaned forward slightly to wrap his arms around hers and beyond - he clasped his hands together in front of her bent knees to keep them tucked tightly together, engulfing her completely in his body heat.

She looked around at the other travelers again. Some were solo and others were in pairs or groups, but all looked stressed and anxious. She could overhear a handful of conversations that seemed to be people here bemoaning the fact that they weren't with the people on the other end of their comm call.

"It's simple logic but it's hard to apply in real life." She noted. He made an inquiring sound. "Your philosophy - not letting shit get to you. Letting stuff roll off your back. It's not as easy as you make it sound. But… I'm trying."

He lowered his head to rest his chin on her right shoulder. "You're doing fine. Besides, it's good to purge all the negativity." He chuckled ruefully. "Venting is fine. I just didn't wanna hear it."

Faye snorted. "Mm. Well. It wasn't really your fault we missed that last train." She said in response. If he could cut her a break, she could do the same right back. "It was that fucking ass, smashing through the duty free store. What I wanna know is why we're always responsible for the damages instead of the bounty. He was the one who led the way after all."

Spike shrugged. "Done is done, with shit like that there's no point complaining or pointing out the fucking obvious truth."

She shook her head slowly. "You're something else, Mr. Spiegel."

He snorted. "I don't know if I've ever heard anyone address me like that."

"By your name?"

"Well yeah. It's either Spike or I guess sometimes the cops call me sir when they're paying us out for work. I've heard 'hey bozo' a few times but I've never looked to see if it was actually me they were talking to."

She laughed. "Don't forget about scrambling bird."

"Swimming Bird, get it right if you're gonna say it,"

"I've seen you scrambling plenty more than I've seen you swimming." She told him plainly.

He laughed then too. "Okay fair point."

From the speakers overhead came an announcement that was too garbled for anyone's ears to make out. But the message was obvious when the sounds of a train approaching reached them. The other travelers began moving about in anticipation, wasting more energy and accomplishing nothing. Faye tilted her own head back so she could press a kiss to Spike's stubbly cheek.

"Thanks for being you."

He brought his knees closer together, squeezing her between them, and tightened his arms around her too. They stayed on the ground in their loose but comfortable embrace until the train finally pulled in and they were able to get back on track at last.

xxx

On Board the Bebop

Later that Night

Spike couldn't really say shit considering the… oh let's call it moss color that his own hair was, but there was something very unique about the violet-hue of Faye's dark hair. It, much like his own, was completely natural but he had never known another soul anywhere in the galaxy to have hair anything similar. In a way it was refreshing. Julia's had been such a lovely shade of muted gold - it gleamed like liquid fire - and while no one else he'd met had had quite the same shade… there were countless times he thought he'd glimpsed it briefly on some passing blond or flaxen haired beauty.

It had been heart-wrenching every time.

Thankfully it had been happening less and less, though for a while after her death he had still been haunted by those luscious locks. It had been a different agony than the same double-take he'd been doing between faking his death and later ending the Red Dragons. When she'd been alive out there somewhere… the momentary pause as his heart skipped a beat was filled with the ecstasy of a hope potentially fulfilled. It had been a letdown every single time it hadn't proved to be her, but there was always the optimistic whisper that it could be one day.

Callisto had been the start of a painful awakening. Discovering she had been alive, had been flitting around the galaxy with no attempt at trying to track him down… even hearing that she had regaled Gren with tales of his eyes… it had left him more adrift and off balance than any other time except when he'd been waiting in the rain for her to never show. He hadn't wanted to admit that perhaps their love had been more one-sided than he had ever realized. It had been agony enough to acknowledge that she hadn't thought him strong enough to keep her safe, hadn't thought him smart enough to evade their mutual enemies, hadn't thought him worth the risk of escaping together. He had mulishly refused to accept that their story together was over. That their love had been a distraction for her more than the salvation that he had seen it as.

She had given him reason to stay alive. Had seen all his brutality, all the violence he was capable of, all the cruelty he could inflict on others… and she had judged him worth healing. Worth touching with a gentleness that lit a dangerous fire within him. She had accepted him wholly. But in the end he hadn't been enough. Her affection for him hadn't been as all consuming as his for her. And that was driven home for him on Callisto when he had to admit the truth.

She could have reached out. Could have managed to contact him secretly somehow. Had instead waited until the noose was around her neck to try and seek his aid. To give him no answers. To choose then to try and tempt him from the life he'd managed to forge even though he hadn't really made an effort to live at all. Jet and Ein and Faye and Ed had shown him that even his half-hearted attempts at camaraderie were enough for them. His bark and his bite didn't frighten them. Hell, Faye should have run screaming for the hills when he'd rescued her from the cathedral. That should have shown her just how dangerous he was.

Instead she had called Jet to help scrape him off the pavement. Had probably killed any of the syndicate men he hadn't been able to while he had been so preoccupied with Vicious. He'd never brought it up with her so he wasn't sure what had happened after he was thrown through the glass. Just one of countless times when he should have pushed for answers but hadn't cared.

Julia had still been haunting him. The only thing he held dear in his heart at the time.

She'd betrayed both of them. Vicious and Spike himself. But… what was the alternative? To betray herself? They had, all three of them, tried so hard to be true to themselves. To the beasts they were at heart. In the Syndicate you had to be hard and you had to be looking out for yourself above all else. No one really had your back.

And still, even now, understanding so much better with every passing day how her love had been a pale shadow of what love could be… still she fucking haunted him. He couldn't eradicate her from his heart. Even if all she'd offered had been pretty lies… he'd bought in hook, line and sinker. She'd nursed him back to health, tried half-heartedly to spurn his inappropriate advances, and ultimately had let him believe whatever he needed to. But she hadn't risked herself at any point until the very end, when she must have realized there was no end to their exile and no hope for a future together. Had it all been just to spur him on to clear their way to true freedom?

She had never given him much to work with. But at the time it had seemed like everything in the world. For a street rat climbing the syndicate ladder, with no familiarity with girls or how they thought and how they worked, she had been a breath of fresh air. Something so wonderful amidst the horrors of his job. She'd been more dangerous than he'd ever given her credit for - something which Vicious would have found amusing and idiotic. Vicious had always known exactly how savage she could be. In retrospect, there had to be a reason why Vicious and Julia had once been so close, though Spike had never given it much thought at all.

He'd been a fool time and again for that woman. And what did he have to show for it? Scars. Two deaths. And memories that continued to plague him. An image of an angel, her caring eyes and her tender smile and her kind touch all true and yet also a mask to cover the darkness that dwelt within her. She had been as deeply entrenched in the syndicate as either Vicious or himself, and that had been by her own design. But he had foolishly believed that she wanted to break away from the bloodshed, to run away to a better life with him. Even when she hadn't shown up, he'd given her the benefit of the doubt. For years. Until Callisto cracked his idolized perception of her at last.

He hated blond hair now. Couldn't stand straw colored hair. It had been a stab to his heart every time he'd had the flash of gold and Julia and the immediate devastation that set in once he forced himself to remember she was far away and not likely to reappear in his life… Which he now knew had been because she didn't want to be there. He had hated blond hair because he was grieving her while she was alive but separate. Now he hated blond hair because it represented an inconsistent woman who had toyed with his heart with little regard to the damage she caused. And still he couldn't shake her.

He trembled just thinking about her death. The pointlessness of it - of their entire sham of a relationship. Not that he could even call it that. He'd never had a relationship in all his years of youth and young adulthood. Never had the experience of taking a girl on a date or courting someone while the older folks rejoiced at their budding love. It was no wonder he hadn't known how to do more than flirt when Faye had crashed into his life.

Faye…

Lying curled on the mattress in front of him, Faye reached up and behind herself to plunge her hand into his mess of hair. Somehow she could always tell when he was floundering in emotional turmoil. She used her fingers to massage his skull and for an instant the sheer pleasure settled his soul. It wasn't quite enough though. Memories tumbled through his thoughts and he tightened his arms around Faye's midriff, pulling her deeper into himself. Fuck, he was so glad to have her. Why then did he still get overwhelmed by the memories of a woman who had never loved him as truly as this goddess in his arms?

His face was buried in the sleek softness of her violet tresses. He inhaled deeply, appreciating the subtle floral hints of her shampoo. That was something she and Julia had in common. Not the same choice in shampoo, thankfully, but they both went more towards the odorless end of things than the overpowering options the majority of women seemed to favor. Perhaps that was because both Julia and Faye knew the value of discretion and how smells stand out. They were both clever and cautious women.

Well.

Faye had the ability to be cautious when she chose to be - which wasn't often. With Julia it had been effortless only because she had been forced to be cautious her entire life. It had been ingrained into her in the same way loneliness had. Yet Julia had still had that spark of life… that brightness in the darkness of Tharsis life. She'd been bold in the few ways she could. With that silly red umbrella. With her enticing leather catsuit. With her fast and loose driving of flashy vehicles. With her pursuit of two syndicate bad boys simultaneously.

Faye was bold in entirely different ways. From her ridiculous fashion to her brash blundering into situations that didn't require her rough touch, to just forcing herself onto the ship in the first place. Which honestly impressed Spike now that he thought about it more. It had been annoying in the beginning, but she'd proven to be a fine teammate. And that courage was incredible, really.

A young woman alone in the world, putting herself on a ship of male energy - which could have been extremely hazardous if the men weren't as well-mannered and honorable as he and Jet were. He had admired that in Julia also - her dedication to holding her own in the boys club that was the syndicate. But it wasn't the same courage, not really. Julia had built herself up to be strong and had become exactly as tenacious as required to exist in their harsh world.

Eventually Julia had even demonstrated enough nerve and self-interest to abandon their world. Given the choice of killing him or dying if she didn't, he had to appreciate the fact that she chose to flee on her own rather than shooting him dead before he even knew to be wary. It would have been far easier to just end him like Vicious had demanded, though no doubt she would have still been murdered afterwards. She had known Vicious well enough to understand he liked to toy with his victims, tease them with hope, and then cut them down cold-blooded. So running was her only real option, though she hadn't needed to run on her own.

If she had truly cared for him… well, he had seen for himself how poorly things went for Katerina and Asimov but at least they'd tried together. Julia had wanted to be free but that meant free of every part of her past apparently. Which included him.

Julia had chosen a life on her own. Faye had been mercilessly thrust into that reality.

Faye had been alone for so long. She'd braved a universe where she knew no one, had no allies, no home base, no history, no clue how to even exist at first or knowledge of how shit worked.

Even if she'd had memories when she was first revived, the world had moved on around her and everything was different from when she had been frozen. She had imparted some of her struggle to him over the years. Well, to Ein at first because he was the only one she figured might care - or, more likely, wouldn't just ignore her outright. Shit, he felt bad about it now but he and Jet had been pretty rude to her for months, uninterested in hearing any of the stuff she claimed. Although Faye had been rather full of bluffs and bluster and bullshit back then, so it had been hard to tell the truth from the falsehoods even if they'd wanted to.

It was only after he proved he was willing to listen that she started to open up to him. By all counts, it was a harrowing tale made more so by the ever-present issues women dealt with constantly. Hearing about the years between her revival and her barging onto the ship… it never made him happy, but if it helped her by getting it off her chest it was the least he could do.

Faye would not go back to a life on her own.

He'd feared for a bit that she might abandon him just like Julia had. Once Faye's debt was gone it's not like she had to hide out on the Bebop any longer. And after Julia's betrayal, Spike had been expecting the same from Faye. Perhaps in part because she'd been so flighty and so predisposed to dashing off on her own. Which he hadn't realized had been a self-preservation instinct, though he was beginning to understand that now.

But Faye had proved to be unwavering in her loyalty to the ship - to the crew. To him.

And she had been single-minded about dragging him, kicking and screaming, back into the world from the darkness he'd taken refuge in after his own revival. She had forced him to confront his inner demons and to finally admit that he needed others. That he needed to confide in others, to rely on others, to accept the weaknesses inherent in all people - himself included - no matter how much he liked to pretend he was above and beyond all that.

More than that, she had no qualms putting her own life on the line. She'd pulled his bacon from the fire as much as he'd done the same for her. And he hadn't even acknowledged half the times she'd done so. Where Julia had left him on his own, not covering his back or facing down the odds at his side, Faye couldn't and wouldn't be kept from being right there with him. She'd rush heedlessly into danger just to keep him safe. It was a humbling truth that had him feeling unworthy.

Memories continued to crowd his conscious thoughts. Memories of Faye. Her tearful acceptance of his exit to keep them safe. The way she'd looked as she woke up after trying to take down Londes on her own. The way she'd tried to protect him from going after Tongpu and even how she'd followed to help. Smoking with her in the kitchen, in the living room, on the hangar deck, everywhere. The sad confusion in her voice when they'd all watched her beta tape while she hid in the hallway since Jet had said she wasn't allowed to watch if she hadn't paid him back for the delivery fees. Her desperation when she tried to get answers from that asshole Whitney. Her fear of attachment and the inevitable fallout of having faith in others and being let down… that was something he hadn't known then, or cared about to be honest, but he had been entrusted with knowing that and so much more.

All of their encounters, all of their banter, all of their time together. All the way back to that first night when he'd been killing time at the casino with Jet and had decided to sit in at the table of the prettiest girl he'd seen in ages. The sparkle in her eyes - though he hadn't known at the time was due to her delight at assuming her target had arrived - had been enticing. Some harmless flirting ensued and then both of their worlds were thrown into upheaval.

He considered their meeting… not preordained or anything fanciful as all that, but rather like a stroke of luck for both of their futures. Sometimes things played out in surprising ways. And while he wasn't often a fan of the way the universe or life or whoever liked to shake things up on him… there were times when he realized it was for the best.

There's a lot of holes in his memory - most especially from his childhood and youth in the syndicate. But there are some gaps even during his time on the Bebop, typically due to injuries leaving him fucked up for weeks or months. He'd be out for entire days after some battles. But the biggest haze was in the aftermath of his showdown with Vicious. All he really recalled was being angry. He had been in pain and he had been heartbroken and he had lashed out at Jet and Faye. He didn't remember lashing out but he knew he had to have. It could have only been weeks of dickish behavior that would have driven Jet to snap on him and unload all the frustration he'd felt. The guilt had been choking by the time Faye had stepped in and, to Spike's surprise, gently led Jet away from the living room where Spike had been in full pout.

The obvious evolution of their relationship in his absence and during his convalescence - their flourishing friendship while he got worse and worse to be around - that had been a struggle for Spike to come to grips with. Hours after shouting, Jet had apologized - unnecessarily since Spike had deserved all the words Jet said - but the ex-cop had understood something Spike himself had not.

The fact that he felt shunted aside. Replaced. As if their lives had moved on without him and there was no room for Spike now. Jet had put that to rest by confiding that Faye's reliability as a partner was refreshing if unexpected, but that she was still no match for the way he and Spike could work together. It had been a balm to his wounded pride while he watched them flow through their normal daily lives as he healed up.

Getting allowed back on bounty hunts had been another huge step in the right direction for him as it gave him something to focus on besides his pain, his heartache, and his discontent over the friendship Faye and Jet had forged. Naturally he hadn't recognized the jealousy for what it was at the time, but he'd still been deep in denial about all sorts of things. And while he could regret the time spent in that cranky daze, no good to himself or anyone around him, and certainly undeserving of the affection Faye had continued to harbor… Spike didn't do regrets.

He didn't regret falling like a fool for Julia. It had opened his heart to the possibility of love and to the hesitant comprehension of the simple fact that he could be worth loving. His dream of sharing a life with her… the possibility of peace with her… it was enough to keep him going for a long time. And then he kept meeting people. Women especially. He kept being shown how love could work. How love could tie people together. How some people were gutsy enough to risk it all for happiness with someone who sees them, accepts them, encourages them.

Loving Julia had taught him many painful lessons - some of which he needed to unlearn. But perhaps some of that pain had been for a purpose. If he hadn't had the experience of Julia… would he have appreciated all that Faye was, and could be, and had to offer?

Which brought him right back to Faye and her persistence in loving him. Her refusal to take his shit except to dish it back out. Her belief in him and her acceptance of him as a fallible human being. She saw how vindictive he could be. How coldly capable of murder. How lethal he had been trained to be. And if anything it drove her to be just as tough and just as badass. It was curious how they played off each other… she saw his weaknesses and wasn't put off by them. She saw his strengths and strove to match. She saw his uncertainty and showed him her own timidity. She didn't try to make him into something he wasn't, but she accepted the ways he chose to change on his own.

Who would have thought he'd be lucky enough to have another chance - a real chance - at love? It wasn't something he deserved, of that he was still sure. But he had been mentally maturing lately and had come to a new conclusion about all of this. It wasn't for him. Sure, he got the benefit of it all and was damn glad for it, but ultimately it was for her. Faye deserved happiness and security and love. Faye deserved a good man at her side to be her partner in the struggle of living, sharing in her joys and sorrows. Truly invested in making a future for her… for them.

He pressed a kiss to the back of Faye's head, lips against her silky violet hair, and sighed in contentment. He was damn lucky she was a patient woman… but… maybe he was worth the wait. He was sure gonna do his best to keep her satisfied and prove to her every day that he was a gamble she wouldn't regret!

xxx

Count your blessings to find what you live for!