Chapter 2

"I'm not saying she should never go to parties, I'm just saying I wish she wasn't in such a hurry to grow up," Kate sighed, cuddling up next to her husband on the couch. The fire in the fireplace crackled, the small flames lighting up the room. Alexis and Peter had gone home a couple hours ago, just before the twins had gone to bed.

"I know what you mean," Rick replied, wrapping an arm around his wife's shoulders and pulling her close. "I think Alexis started kindergarten, what, yesterday?"

Kate laughed softly.

"Except now she's all grown up, married with a full time job, and here we are with three more kids, and a cat for crying out loud," she said.

"Kate, I think it's safe to say we're getting old," Rick said, turning his head to look at her.

"Hey, speak for yourself Castle," she retorted, sipping a glass of white wine. "I'm not the one getting out of breath just from chasing one suspect two blocks down Fifth."

"Alright, point taken," Rick said, kissing the side of his wife's head. If there was one thing the women in his family liked to pick on him for, it was his lack of love for fitness. "But, even if I am getting old," he continued, tilting Kate's chin up with his hand. "I know you've been madly in love with me since the moment you laid eyes on me…"

He smirked.

Kate tilted her head back, letting out a single laugh. Another romantic moment thwarted by a classic Castle remark.

"Oh puh-lease," she smiled. "We've had this conversation so many times. It was you who was madly in love with me. I, on the other hand, thought you were mostly a pain in the ass."

"Ah, still in denial I see," Rick teased, kissing her cheek, down to her neck and collar bone. Kate sighed contentedly. "I'm not a pain in the ass anymore though, am I?" he asked quickly, pulling back to look her in the eye again.

"Only sometimes," Kate smirked, setting her glass down on the table before placing a hand on her husband's cheek. "But since I did marry you I've learned to tolerate it."

Rick kissed her on the mouth in response.

"It was so nice having everyone home today though," Kate said, breaking away from the kiss. "I know it's been forever, but as crazy as it sounds sometimes I forget Alexis doesn't live here anymore, until I have to say goodbye and watch her walk out the door. I guess…I guess I'm just not ready for that to happen with Lily too; she's still my little girl. And then the twins…" Her voice trailed off.

Rick squeezed his wife tighter, feeling a pang in his chest as he remembered the day he and his mother had moved Alexis into her freshman dorm at Columbia. Kate had had to work that day so Rick had had some time to say goodbye to his eldest daughter by himself. To him, even though Alexis had only been moving a few miles away, it all felt rather symbolic. The Castle family had begun just him and his little fiery-haired daughter; it only seemed right that he be the one to take this first step into her adult life with her.

"I can't believe I'm going to be the one to say this," he began, clearing his throat. "But we both knew, having kids, that this day would come, right?"

Kate raised an eyebrow, looking at him. "You're right, I really can't believe I'm hearing that from you, given how after you dropped Alexis off at Columbia you cried for three days. And I won't even mention those two years the Times based her in London."

"Okay, that is officially the last time I try to comfort you," Rick said, holding a hand up in defeat.

"Don't worry, Castle, I'm not trying to question your masculinity or anything," she responded.

"Oh no, because that never happens, living in a house with three – sometimes four – women," he countered.

"Hmm…well maybe this will help…" Kate whispered, leaning in to kiss him softly.

"Mmm…" he muttered. "Yeah, yeah that does help…"

Kate loved these moments with her husband, alone time in the evenings to talk about life, work, the kids…she could banter with him for hours, and she always knew no matter how much they made fun of each other (or, on occasion, fought), she loved Richard Castle more than she'd ever loved another man.

Save for her mother's death, he had been there with her, and for her, through everything. He had loved her even when she had thought herself unlovable. He had broken through her wall or, 'peeled the Beckett onion,' as he would say. He knew her better than anyone, understood her better than anyone. And she had never really thought of herself becoming a mother until she had met Rick either.

It had taken her a while, but once she finally did say 'I love you' to him, she knew she never wanted to say it to another man – except for her sons – for as long as she lived.

Before she knew it, their kiss got heated. Everything around her faded into the background; nothing existed but her and her husband. She ran her hand through his smooth hair as he leaned her back on the couch, their tongues in battle with one another. She began undoing the buttons on his shirt as he tugged at hers…

They were both busy – Kate with her caseload and running the 12th Precinct, and Rick with his newest book – so this was the perfect time. They were all alone, it was getting late…

Suddenly, Kate pushed him back slightly, remembering something.

"Wait," she said.

"What is it?" Rick asked, his forehead creasing as he looked down at her.

Placing a hand on his chest, she leaned him back as she sat up.

"Oh, it's nothing I just…I told Lily to be home by eleven thirty and I just wanna make sure she's not gonna walk in on us…"

"Right," Rick nodded, making a face at the thought of his sixteen-year-old daughter walking in on him and his wife. He wasn't sure who would be more traumatized – her, or him.

Standing up, Kate walked into the kitchen, only far enough to see the time on the microwave before her heart began to race. The clock read 12:07. Her daughter, who had never, ever, missed a curfew before no matter how badly she wanted to, was almost forty five minutes late.

"Rick," Kate called out, worriedly.

"What?" he replied, standing up to join her.

"It's past midnight. Lily was supposed to be home over forty five minutes ago," she said, her eyes growing big with worry as she folded her arms across her chest, hugging herself.

Rick tried to stay calm, at least for his wife's sake. "I'm sure it's nothing, she and Maddie probably just got stuck in traffic or something, you know, Friday night in New York…I'll try calling her."

Rick pulled out his cell phone just as Kate grabbed hers from the counter, her fear only increasing when she noticed she had no missed calls. Lily was late, and she hadn't called.

"Straight to voicemail," Rick said, looking at Kate, who suddenly felt like she wanted to cry.

Kate's mind immediately jumped to the worst-case scenario; her daughter lying somewhere dead, just like her mother.

Rick's brow furrowed, feeling his wife's tension and worry without even touching her. Secretly, he felt just as worried, but it wouldn't do either of them any good for him to show it.

"Try Maddie," Kate insisted, trying to keep her voice from breaking.

Rick entered the number, but the same thing happened – straight to voicemail.

"No luck," he sighed. "Maybe they just lost track of time?"

At this moment he found himself wishing with everything he had that that was the case. Alexis had done it before when she was out with her friends…then again Alexis had also been kidnapped while she was out with friends.

"And turned both of their cell phones off? I've been a detective for over twenty years Rick, there's something else going on here," Kate said.

"Okay well right now maybe being a detective for over twenty years has you overthinking a little bit. She's a teenager, Kate, who's never really done anything too serious, mind you," Rick said, trying to convince himself as much as his wife. "Remember the time Alexis came home two hours late? She was fine, just lost track of time."

"Oh yeah, well I also happen to remember her getting kidnapped her first year of college too," Kate snapped, immediately regretting her words after seeing the look on her husband's face. "I'm sorry, I know that's not helping."

"Yeah well," Rick sighed, running a hand through his hair. "As much as I don't like to remember that, you're right. Why don't we just give it another-"

But the sound of the landline ringing interrupted him. Kate rushed to the phone.

"Lily?" she spoke into the receiver.

"Is this the Castle residence?"

An unknown voice responded.

"Yes, who is this?" Kate replied.

"This is Doctor Taylor over at Lenox Hill. Your daughter Felicity was in a car accident with another girl…"

"What?" Kate breathed into the phone, her eyes glossing over with tears. Not my baby girl, she thought.

"What's going on? What's wrong?" Rick came and stood next to her, close to the phone, but she ignored him.

"She's down in the emergency department now, if you'd like to…"

"We're on our way."

Kate hung up the phone quickly, running upstairs to grab a sweater and shoes.

"Kate! What's going on?" Rick followed close behind. "Who was that?"

She swallowed, still trying to keep the tears at bay.

"It's Lily…she was in an accident."

Lily's eyes were cemented shut, and the only thing she knew was pain. She had no idea where she was, or how she got there. The more she concentrated, the more she could hear, but everything was fuzzy; fuzzy enough for her to know she hadn't just fallen asleep.

She felt a tingle on her left hand. Something soft had touched her, was holding on to her.

"You're sure?" she heard a woman ask, the voice sounding distant.

"Absolutely. Her brain activity is normal, it's just a matter of her waking up." Lily didn't know that voice.

"But the stitches on her forehead…"

"It looks worse than it is, Mrs. Castle. If you'd like I can show you the scans again."

Mrs. Castle. Lily knew that name, even if her mother didn't always use it. The female voice she had heard was her mother's, and soft thing still holding on to her was her mother's hand. The unknown voice must have been a doctor.

Staring intently into her daughter's closed eyelids, Kate took a deep breath, waiting a second before letting it out.

"No, that's okay," she whispered, closing her eyes.

"She's going to wake up." Lily knew that voice right away; it was her father's.

Rick took hold of his daughter's other hand.

Standing behind Kate, Alexis placed a hand on her shoulder. "It's going to be okay, Kate," she said.

"I know that," came Kate's indignant reply. Lily knew, no matter how deep of a slumber she was in, that her mother was acting tough, putting on a front; she just didn't understand why.

"Come on, baby," Kate whispered. "Please wake up."

Lily felt her mother's hand touch the left side of her head. The right side was throbbing slightly, giving her a woozy feeling, like she had been shot up with a bunch of painkillers.

Alexis placed a hand on Rick's shoulder, before announcing that she would go call Martha.

Lily wished she could communicate to her family that she was okay, but some invisible force kept her pinned down. Every part of her was paralyzed. She felt her mother rubbing soft circles on her hand, as if she were sending her a secret message, telling her over and over that she was here, waiting for Lily to wake up.

But all Lily could do was fall back, deep into her haze.

"It's been almost two days, Dr. Taylor," Kate breathed.

"Think of what her body went through though," Alexis reasoned, sitting at the window seat of Lily's hospital room with Jake and Reece, an arm wrapped around Reece's shoulders.

"Exactly," the doctor said from the doorway. "Her brain activity is normal, her vitals are strong. Her body just needs to heal."

"Well why can't it heal faster?" Kate snapped.

"Kate," Rick said her name gently, pulling her into his arms. Kate choked on a sob, no longer caring if her children could hear.

"I can't lose her too, Rick," she whispered into his ear.

"I know, I know," he said, holding her tightly.

Although she was still asleep, Lily could hear everything that was said over the past few minutes. She had only ever heard her mother cry like this a handful of times in her life, and every time it had to do with her siblings, her grandmother, or her.

A burning pain rattled around inside Lily's rib cage, knowing that Kate seeing her like this is, in a way, reminding her of losing her own mother.

Moments later, she felt someone beside her again, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Lily?" A small voice whispered her name. She knew right away it was Jake. Even though her brothers were identical, she could always tell them apart, sometimes much to their dismay. "If you wake up we promise we'll never be a pain in the butt again. And I'll let you beat me at laser tag as many times as you want."

"And even though it's statistically impossible, me too," Reece added, before letting out an ow when Jake elbowed him.

Lily wanted to laugh. If she were awake she would tell them she could beat them whether they let her or not, even despite Reece's 'statistics,' but her body was still frozen stiff. She felt so bad for her little brothers; only eleven years old, they probably didn't understand a lot of what was going on. Either that, or no one was really telling them what was going on.

Then again, Lily didn't understand what was going on either, and she was the one stuck in the hospital bed.

Watching her children, Kate stifled a small laugh, the lump in her throat making her voice catch. She knew that if her daughter were awake she would roll her eyes. Nothing could ever make the twins be less of a pain to their younger older sister. They were their father's sons, after all.

Hearing her entire family in the room, Lily wanted nothing more than to wake up, and she tried harder than ever to make something—anything—move.

Her two middle fingers twitched.

Jake, still sitting on his sister's bed, jumped. She had moved.

"Mom! Her fingers moved!" he said.

Kate rushed back to her daughter's side, along with Rick and Alexis.

"Lily? Honey?" she said softly. "Lulu, I'm right here, can you hear me?"

After straining every muscle possible close to her eyes, a sliver of white light blinded her. She heard her father tell her sister to go get Dr. Taylor.

She had no idea how much time had passed until another, brighter light shone in her face.

"Lily, can you open your eyes?" The voice that was Dr. Taylor asked kindly. The light was so bright it hurt Lily's head, but she forced her lids open even further as the doctor stepped back, trying intently to find her mother.

"Mom…" she tried, but her voice was raspy and almost non-existent.

"Hey, baby girl," Kate smiled at her daughter, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm right here, we're all here." She let out a long breath, grabbing Lily's hand and resting her forehead against it.

When she looked up again, Lily noticed her mother's face was flushed, her normally beautiful hazel eyes swollen and sad. Letting her head roll to the side, she saw her entire family looking back at her, her father and sister both with relief and sadness, and her poor brothers scared and trying desperately to hold back any tears.

"Hey, guys," she said quietly to them. "I'm okay."

Unable to hold it in any longer, Jake buried his face into his sister's shoulder and began to sob. Slowly, Lily wrapped an arm around him and Reece, still feeling like she was being held back by cement.

"I'm sorry I was so annoying before," Jake cried.

"What? You're my brother, you're supposed to be annoying," Lily said, in an attempt to comfort him.

Rick came up behind Kate and placed a hand on her back, wanting to give the children a minute. He could feel how tense his wife was, just by one simple touch, and he knew right then he would do anything to make it go away, and to make Lily better. Three out of the four most important women in his life were here in this room. They were all hurt in some way, and he could hardly stand it.

After a moment, Alexis took hold of Jake, who was trying to calm himself, and sat back down at the windowsill, holding her brother in her lap.

Kate took another deep breath, grabbing Lily's hand again. "Honey," she choked out, kissing her daughter's forehead. Rick sat down on the other side of her bed.

"I…" Lily began. "What happened?"

Everyone in the room looked around at one another, and Kate and Rick hold eye contact for a while, both of them silently deciding what to say.

"Honey, there was an accident," Rick said gently. His blue eyes were full of worry; he had been trying to hide the fact that he'd been crying.

"What?" Lily breathed, looking at her mother, whose forehead wrinkled the way it did when she was in pain.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Rick asked carefully.

Lily thought back, her eyes opening and closing slowly. Various images flashed through her mind, but nothing concrete. Everything from last night on was fuzzy.

"I don't…" Lily muttered, shaking her head.

"Sweetheart, you were in a car accident on the way home from Wyatt's house," Rick told her.

Lily racked her brain, remembering flashes of moments. Maddie had been making out with some guy, then searching for her car keys. They had been late leaving Wyatt's house.

"We were running late," she rasped. "I'm sorry."

Kate closed her eyes, blocking more tears as she remembered how worried she had been upon noticing that her daughter was forty-five minutes late getting home. "Oh sweetheart, it's okay. Don't worry about that," she said.

"The car," Lily whispered. She remembered turning her head and seeing nothing but two huge headlights coming toward her and Maddie. "Headlights coming straight at us."

Rick inhaled sharply, hanging his head and fighting his own tears.

"Where's Maddie?" Lily asked, and Kate rested her head against her daughter's hand again.

"Bug," Alexis began, using Lily' childhood nickname, knowing how hard it would be for her parents to tell her sister what had happened. She smiled through glassy eyes, trying to lessen the blow she was about to give, but a couple tears escaped nonetheless. "Maddie's gone, Lily. She passed away right after the accident."

Right then Lily swore her heart had stopped entirely. "What? No…no she didn't." Her confusion quickly morphed into cold dread.

"I'm so sorry, Lulu," Kate whispered, kissing her hand.

Lily couldn't breathe, but she was. "No," she said, her voice shaking, not sounding like her own. "She's not. She has to be here. She's always been here."

She attempted to sit up, but both her parents gently push her shoulders back down. Her siblings watched helplessly as her mother touched her cheek, holding it in her palm.

"Shh, you're okay. It's okay, just breathe. Deep breaths."

Kate pressed Lily's hand against her own chest so she could feel her even, deep breaths, and try to match them.

But it was no use. Lily felt like she couldn't breathe at all, and she was panicking. Before she knew it, Dr. Taylor was back in the room, searching through a drawer and then injecting something into her IV. Within seconds everything was slowing down, and she slipped backwards, back into the darkness.

When Lily woke up again, she immediately recognized the voices coming from the doorway: her parents, and then Lanie, the Medical Examiner at the 12th Precinct, her godmother and mother's best friend, and Sargeant Esposito, a detective at the 12th and close family friend. She remembered what Alexis had told her, and her eyes quickly filled up. Slowly, she reached up and pulled the oxygen mask away from her mouth, grabbing the attention of the group.

Kate rushed over to her daughter. "Hey, sweetheart," she smiled at her, smoothing her hair and helping to remove the mask from around her neck. "How are you feeling?"

"My head," Lily mumbled, reaching up to the right side of her head. But Kate stopped her.

"Oh, don't touch it yet, honey. You've still got some stitches there."

Lily looked around the room. Lanie and Esposito were standing at the foot of her bed, and Lanie was smiling at her sadly.

"Hey, pretty girl," Lanie said. Lily smiled, a small, unwilling smile.

"Someone snuck in to see you again," Esposito grinned, gesturing to his right. Following his gaze, Lily noticed her brothers, curled up against each other and fast asleep on a chair. The sight of them made her smile, a little more genuinely this time.

"Your dad says they wouldn't leave him alone when he went home to get clothes," Kate said. "Couldn't sleep at home without you there."

Rick nodded slowly, bending down to kiss his daughter's forehead. Their sons had been nothing if not relentless, to the point where it became virtually impossible to leave the loft without them.

"Espo and I are gonna go talk outside for a minute. I'll be back soon, sweetheart," he said.

Lily nodded, watching as her father and Esposito left the room. Lanie took a seat on the right side of her bed while her mother remained, unwavering, sitting next to her on the left.

"Where's Lex?" Lily asked Kate quietly.

"She had to go back to work for a little while, honey," Kate told her, smoothing her hair some more. "But she said she'd be back to visit again later tonight with Peter, and Grams is catching an early flight back, so she'll be in to see you too."

Lily smiled to the best of her ability, turning her head back toward Lanie.

"How are you feeling, Lily?" Lanie asked.

"I don't understand," Lily admitted. "I don't understand why this happened. She wasn't drunk. We were driving home and just chatting about...normal stuff." She wiped a tear from her cheek, the memory of recalling her first kiss hitting her like a train. "And then these bright lights coming right at us. But I wasn't looking forward. I should have paid attention. Not distracted her. Told her to swerve sooner."

Kate pulled her daughter close and kissed the top of her head. "Honey," she whispered. "It's not your fault."

"Yes it is," Lily responded, slightly angry. "I should have done more. She's my best friend, and now…"

"Lily, listen to me," Lanie began gently. "Your responsibility was you. Not Maddie, or anyone else. I know she's your best friend, but there wasn't anything you could have done. In the end it was the car that hit you, and someone who probably shouldn't have been driving in the first place."

Lily sighed, caught between wanting to pull away from her mother and wanting to be held. The feeling in the pit of her stomach was not going to go away any time soon, and no amount of emotional talks would change that.

"Lulu," Kate said quietly, to keep her voice from betraying her.

Captain Beckett was a strong woman; anyone who met her, knew her, or worked with her knew that. There were not many things that broke her, but seeing her family in pain was definitely one of them.

"I know you're hurting now and you might not want to hear this," Kate said. "But…it's gonna get better, I promise. One day you'll wake up and you'll find that you don't mind carrying this around with you anymore. I know, I've been there. You'll be sad for a while and you'll wonder why, why did this have to happen to you, and to Maddie…but it'll be okay, you'll be okay."

Lily looked up at her mother, her blue eyes swimming.

"I'm sorry for fighting with you, Mom." They both knew she meant that night, before the party.

Kate took her thumb and wiped away a stray tear from her daughter's cheek. "I love you, sweet girl," she said, placing a kiss on Lily's forehead.

Lanie placed a hand on Lily's back as she curled into her mother, letting her guard down once more. The tears began to fall again and, face buried into her mother's chest, she cried, letting out every raw emotion she had. Yet Lily still knew that even when her tears finally dried, the hole in her heart that was her best friend would still remain.

"Kate!" Rick called out his wife's name when he spotted her in the hospital hallway later that night. He had been keeping vigil at his daughter's bedside for the past couple of hours while Kate had gone home to shower and change. Lily had slept for most of the afternoon, and the twins had remained loyally at her bedside, curled up next to her with books.

His private conversation earlier with Esposito had been necessary, but disconcerting to say the least. It was a conversation he absolutely had to share with his wife, but absolutely did not want to at the same time. But he knew if anyone were to threaten his family, Kate would stop at nothing to finish them off.

Kate rushed over to him, a concerned look on her face. "What is it?"

Rick ran a hand through his hair. "Before you go back in there, there's something I need to talk to you about."

Kate's concerned expression turned quizzical.

"It's um…well, after Lily told us she saw the headlights coming straight toward them, I…I asked Espo if he could go check out the accident. Call me crazy, but after Lily said Maddie hadn't been drunk, my gut started telling me that this wasn't just another accident."

"Okay…" Kate said, and before she knew it she was going into full detective mode. "What did he find?"

"Well, when he and I were talking earlier today he mentioned something that might be of interest…something that I think, and he thinks, might need to be investigated further."

"What is it, Castle?" Kate asked impatiently, caught between wanting to hear more about the accident and wanting to get back to her daughter. "Spit it out already."

"The police found evidence of skid marks from the truck that hit Maddie's car. It had swerved into the lane only about twenty feet ahead of them…but there was no evidence of erratic driving on their part before then, and Maddie had been driving in her lane. Esposito says there's sufficient evidence – enough evidence – to believe that this accident…might not have been an accident after all."