Chapter Six: Lessons In Flirtation
"Who gave you this?" Shingen glanced up from the anonymous letter I'd written, and 'found.'
"No one," I was able to answer with complete honesty. "It was with the other messages at the drop site near the front gate." (Because I had put it there before leaving to deliver his outgoing messages). I returned my attention to the burr puzzle, carefully laying the pieces out in front in (hopefully) the order needed to reassemble it. (When I'd returned with his messages, Shingen noticed me coveting the puzzle again, had tossed it to me and told me to "do my best.").
He flipped the message over and back, possibly looking for an additional clue to its origin. "Hm."
Curious as to what he thought about Aki's information, I ventured a question. "Is it bad news?"
"Not exactly…" He handed me the letter and let me read it for myself.
Although already familiar with the contents of the letter, it was sort of a thrill to be given it to read. Maybe Shingen was interested in my opinion, maybe he only wanting a sounding board for his own – either way, I was being officially let in on this new puzzle. This puzzle was far more treacherous than the wooden burr puzzle. Pretending the information was a surprise, I read over the letter once with a frown, then re-read it again as if to think things through.
"I guess the question is – since this letter doesn't name which of you was the target, what is the purpose of killing one or more of the three of you, then blaming Nobunaga? Is the endgame one of your deaths with Oda as a convenient, and yet not terribly believable, scapegoat, or is the endgame to use the death of someone close to you or Kenshin to reignite the war? If the latter, which of your deaths is the most likely to achieve that?"
He smiled at me – not one of the flirtatious smiles he used on pretty, well, on all women, but one of genuine approval. I wanted to bathe in that approval until my skin wrinkled. "You parsed that out pretty quickly."
Well, I had had a day and a night to think about it. In fact, I'd been doing nothing but thinking about it all through this afternoon's errands, looking at nearly everyone in the town suspiciously. It hadn't helped that once again, I'd had that prickling sensation of being watched – followed even. At one point, I'd even doubled back through an alley to see if I could locate anyone suspicious. No such luck. I was so new to this place that I didn't know who was supposed to be here and who was a stranger. How could I figure out what was out of place, when technically, I was the one out of place?
Less out of place than yesterday, true. The recipients of the messages all greeted me with smiles today – some had even heard about my archery demonstration. The only non-smiling recipient was Chiyome, who handwaved me through with a stern look. But given that yesterday she'd had her guards hold me at knife point, I considered that a win.
Once again I went back to the wooden puzzle, building the center structure so the exterior pieces would have something to grab onto (hopefully the notches were in the right places), to keep my hands busy while my brain considered issue of the assassination attempt. Finding out the "who" at this point was unlikely, especially as the sniper had passed away overnight. I felt another wave of regret for his death, then out of necessity, pushed past that to consider once again the "why."
Bizarre conspiracy theories occupied my thoughts until I realized that the comforting sound of Shingen's brush against the paper had stopped. I glanced up to see him watching me. Did he want me to continue speculating? Maybe he needed someone around to bounce ideas off - this kind of discussion had always been one of the more intriguing aspects of working for Aki. "If it's the first possibility and someone wants you dead, do you know anyone who wants to kill you?"
That got a short laugh out of him. "Dozens. None who would bother to pin it on someone else. They'd simply kill me." Then his mood altered in an instant, changing from contemplative to bleak, his knuckles gripping the edge of the desk so tightly they whitened. "Not that it would be necessary."
What is that about? "What do you-"
Before I could finish the sentence, it was like a door slammed shut and he returned to a businesslike manner. "Tomorrow morning, ask the guards at the gate if anyone noticed an unfamiliar messenger."
"Will do. I'll check with the late watch too; in case it arrived in the middle of the night." Which, of course I knew it hadn't, but if I were dealing with an actual mysterious message, I would ask them. I fitted more pieces into the puzzle's structure.
"No need. I didn't come in until after the guards changed over this morning, and it wasn't at the gate then."
Not going to ask what he was doing out so late. Not my business.
"Are you going to warn Kenshin about all this?" And if he was, when was he going to do so, so I could be safely in another room. Preferably in another building. In another city. On another continent. Even another century, preferably my own and not one with dinosaurs.
"No, I have no desire to spend any time in the dungeons," Shingen said.
That's the second time someone has mentioned that Kenshin has a dungeon and knows how to use it. "Mai said something about having spent time in there," I said, wondering if there was a longer explanation.
"Kenshin would want us locked away for our own safety." Shingen stood up with a slight groan and flexed his fingers – he'd probably been writing reports and messages since early this morning. "But that's a conversation for another day. I believe it's time to take you, Yukimura, and Sasuke out to the Teahouse."
I looked down at the puzzle, that I had not yet reassembled and would really really like to be able to continue to work on, then remembered. "No confections for a week… did you hope I'd forget?" Even if I had, Yuki certainly wouldn't.
"Do you think I would do that?" Ha! He's sneaky.
I am sneaky too (thanks, Aki!). "Do you think that I wouldn't notice you responded with another question, and not an answer?"
"As did you." He grinned, as if he appreciated the exchange, then said. "That is not the purpose of this visit anyway. It's intended to be educational."
"I have a bad feeling about this," Sasuke said, as he and I and Yuki trudged through the castle town, behind Shingen and Yoshimoto.
Shingen had declared that we needed more experience talking to women. Yoshimoto had been impressed into service as a back-up. In other words, he was coming along to point and laugh.
"Really? I can't possibly imagine what could go wrong," I replied.
"I can," said Yuki, whose apprehension apparently rendered him incapable of detecting sarcasm.
The Teahouse smelled as delicious as it had smelled the day before, and I cast a worried glance toward the back to make sure that Aki wasn't still lurking. Not that he'd break my cover, but he would be all too amused by this.
He wasn't here – likely he'd left for his urgent mission as soon as he had finished talking with me.
"Are you sure this isn't a ploy to sneak dessert?" Yuki asked Shingen as the five of us sat in front of a table outside the Teahouse.
"It's a happy circumstance that I can do both," Shingen said, as he signaled the owner.
"No, you can't." Yuki said. "Not for a week."
"If you really want to do both, then we should postpone this," I suggested. "Honestly, I don't mind. In fact, I would feel terrible if you were trapped here, tortured by confections that you will not be allowed to eat." And hopefully by the end of that week, we will have forgotten all about this horrific scheme.
"Yeah. That," Yuki said, taking my suggestion as a potential out.
"You two are a terrible influence on each other," Shingen said. He then separated us by putting Sasuke in between, and I had the feeling of déjà vu to my school days when Toshie and I were separated by our teacher (she put the kid that ate glue in between us – not that I believe Sasuke was the kind of child who ate glue).
In no time at all, we were settled with our tea, and a tray of sweets that was "for the whole table." Having learned my lesson yesterday, I took one that looked less like a walking glucose molecule.
A few young women were strolling down the road in our direction, arms linked, smiling, laughing with each other. Their delicate pastel kimonos looked fresh and cool. Something about seeing them all together like that brought to mind the image of sorbet.
"Pay attention," Shingen said. His kimono was doing that porn star dip again.
"I wonder if I should take notes," Sasuke said quietly.
Well, I doubted there would be a quiz. Probably instead we'd be forced to demonstrate a practical application of the lecture. Flirting immersion.
Shingen focused his gaze on the woman in the center of the group. In her hair she wore an enamel comb decorated with butterflies. She looked at him, then shyly looked away, then looked back out of the corner of her eye. All the while, Shingen kept his eyes on her, with an expression of startled wonder on his face.
In my head, I heard a voice that distinctly sounded like David Attenborough narrate a nature documentary about the mating rituals of the Grey-Eyed Auburn Crested Hornbill. I came within seconds of breaking into a fit of hysterical giggles that would have revealed my true gender. Instead, I took a gulp of too hot tea and considered my scalded esophagus a small price to pay to maintain a serious expression.
"You don't need to be that obvious about it," Yoshimoto said. "Sometimes an action will get as much attention as a blatant stare." Yoshimoto looked over at the women – all of whom were looking our way at this point. This time it was Yoshimoto who shyly looked away. He brought out a fan and gracefully opened it in front of his face, as if the view of these women was too much for his soul to take in. After a long pause, he glanced over at them again. They seemed hypnotized.
Sasuke looked like he really wanted to be taking notes. I bet he was the kind of student who broke the curve at Ninja Academy… and ate glue.
"Smile at her like she is the only woman in the world – because at this moment… she is," Shingen looked back at the one he had decided to cull from the herd and let his lips slowly curve into a smile until he was gazing at her with a look of dazzled adoration.
I. Have. No. Words.
And now, they were all coming toward us.
Yuki stared fixedly at the table and muttered something about avoiding eye contact and the smell of fear.
"I was wondering if you could tell me, if you're here, who's running heaven?" Shingen said to Butterfly Comb. She blushed. "Angel, the sparkle in your eyes is so bright the sun must be jealous."
I just witnessed a grown woman melt into a pastel sorbet puddle.
How does he – Nope. Still. No. Words.
Yoshimoto continued where Shingen left off and addressed all of them at once. "I've always been an admirer of art, but today, with all this beauty displayed before me, it's the first time I've truly appreciated being able to see."
With a smile that encompassed all of them, Shingen invited them to sit with us, saying, "I wonder if you angels can give us some assistance."
At this point, the angels would be willing to follow him through the bowels of hell at this point, but, carry on. Without bothering to ask what he wanted, they all joined us – but not without a bit of a scrum to see which one would sit next to Shingen. Butterfly Comb won.
"My young friends here," he gestured to the three of us, then said as an aside to Yukimura, "head up, Yuki." He continued, "Are nervous and unsure talking to beautiful women, such as yourselves. Would you mind allowing them to converse with you?"
I knew there was going to be a practicum.
They all nodded, and turned to look at the three of us.
The three of us were silent. No one wanted to go first.
Bueller… Bueller…Bueller.
Finally, Sasuke turned to the woman closest to him, pushed his glasses further up on the bridge of his nose, and said, "If you were an angle, you'd be acute one."
That only earned him blank stares. (Although true confession, if he'd ever met the real me and used that line, it might have worked, as I have a soft spot for terrible puns.)
Yuki coughed several times, then said, "This is dumb. What's the point of sitting around and yapping?"
The blank stares turned to glares.
Long awkward silence. Yoshimoto tapped my arm. Oh right. It was my turn. "You are all, um, really sweet to be helping us. Thank you. But my life is chaotic right now, because my brother has been missing for seven years, and I wouldn't be able to treat anyone the way they deserve to be treated."
Hm, that at least earned me a few sympathetic looks, which was an improvement from the confusion of Sasuke's line and the outright hostility that Yuki invited. Can we go now?
After another painfully long silence, Shingen eventually realized he had tortured us enough, and he walked the ladies back to the main thoroughfare. When he returned, he sunk down next to Yoshimoto and automatically reached for the tray of pastry.
"Hey! Paws off," Yuki practically snarled the words. "The week's not over yet."
"Are you certain? This afternoon felt like one thousand days," Shingen sighed.
Yeah, he had that right. The only good thing about this whole experience, is that after seeing what was behind the curtain, I surely had been vaccinated against the Takeda charm. Occupational Hazard neutralized.