Chapter Thirty-Nine – Shingen's POV – Unwanted Advice

As a student of tactics Katsuko proving to be as bright and eager in front of a desk as she was when she joined him in bed. Sometimes, Shingen would set a problem to her simply to hear what solutions she came up with. "Oftentimes, your initial first instinctive plan will be the best one – never discount that – but it's always worth working out what could happen if you enacted your second, third, or fourth plans." Her first and second plans were generally solid. Her third alternated between awfully brilliant or brilliantly awful… her fourth… unworkable, inelegant, but highly entertaining.

"I wish my instructors in school had been more like you." They'd been strategizing solutions to hostage scenarios, and she had just rescued the pastry that was standing in as the 'hostage.' "I might have skipped school less often."

"Is this a prelude to a teacher – student fantasy? If so, let me get through a couple more reports and we can explore that." Shingen wondered what she would say if he told her how he'd once considered bending "Katsu" over the desk and-

"It wasn't."

Too bad. She'd wiped her face clean of any expression, but he thought he'd caught a gleam of interest. Another time, perhaps. He stole the pastry back, knowing that she wouldn't eat it anyway, and popped it in his mouth. It still tasted delicious, none the worse for wear from its stint as a war hostage… although Katsuko did look a bit traumatized that the hostage she had worked so hard to rescue had met such a violent end.

"I'm learning so much more from you than I ever did in school. You make it all interesting, even things I never would have been interested in before, like the flood management." There was a considering tone in her voice… of course after her experience in the river, he imagined she had incentive to be interested in flood prevention.

He wondered what she had been like in her own time… or for that matter what education was like in the future. It sounded like it might have been fairly formalized. "What were you interested in, Devil… also, what does skipped school mean?"

"Um, well, it means instead of being in school like I was supposed to be, I was out doing something else." Ah… so she had been a naughty teenager – and still could be. Such as when she had stolen his clothes and dumped them in the dry garden… leaving him to negotiate with Mitsuhide to get them back. "What I was interested in, and what I skipped school to do, is go snowboarding."

Snowboarding?

"Um, when you were a child, did you ever use a large piece of wood and slide down a snowy hill on it?" She gestured with her hands to mimic the action of sliding down a hill.

"No, although it sounds like something I might have enjoyed." However, not an activity that would be worth the risk of getting caught in misbehavior.

"Snowboarding is something like that, except you stand on the board, it goes a lot faster, and there are snow parks that build courses you can ride. It's the closest thing to flying without an airplane." Once again, she mimed sliding down a hill…and up a hill… and upside down?

And there was that look she got on her face when she was climbing trees. Where were her parents during these escapades? He'd noticed that she generally avoided discussing any family aside from her brother. "I'm not completely picturing it, but I believe I have the general concept… it sounds dangerous, and therefore something you did every moment you could, Devil."

Damn, he'd sounded like an old man there. Hopefully she hadn't noticed any disapproval in his voice.

"I wore a helmet."

She noticed.

Katsuko picked up the report she'd been looking at before and asked something about the Kamanashi river. But her voice faded into a swirl of vertigo as he felt a familiar tightness in his throat and lungs. Not now! He tried to order his body to function normally, but already the breathlessness was taking over. Damn it, normally this happened when there was no one about – the last thing he wanted to do was alert Katsuko to the-

"What is it? Bad news?" She peered over his shoulder.

Get her out of here before it's too late.

"No." His voice sounded rough even to his own ears. He cleared his throat. "Thinking… time for a break."

"Alright." She got up and turned toward the hearth. "Tea?"

He seized upon that as an excuse to send her out of the room. "I'm… out. Run to the kitchens… and beg for more leaves?" Again, the spasm in his chest.

"Of course," Katusko smiled at him and headed out the door.

Fingers gripping the side of the desk, Shingen managed to hold on until he could no longer hear her footsteps. Only then did he allow the coughing to overtake him.

Would it not stop?

Feeling the telltale metallic taste in the back of his throat, he grabbed for his hand towel, knocking the puzzle off the desk in the process. An instant later, Katsuko was at the door. She locked eyes with him, then rushed back outside for a moment. He thought her heard her accost someone, but the words were inaudible over the sound of his own coughing.

Then Katsuko returned again, and carefully put her arms around him. He could feel her hand hesitantly rubbing his back. Which didn't help… but didn't hurt either. "Sounds worse … than it is, Devil," he said as he tried to get control of the spasms radiating through his chest.

Then Yuki rushed into the room and took in the situation in a glance. "I knew it."

"What should I do for him?" Katsuko asked. He imagined she was worried, but at least that didn't come through her voice.

"Let's get him to the futon," Yuki said as he ducked under Shingen's arm, using his body to prop up Shingen's weight.

"No," Shingen said. That was the last thing he wanted. Ashamed of his weakness in front of them, he tried to straighten, but another spasm jolted his ribs, and for a moment the vertigo returned and there were two Yukis and two Katsukos.

All four of them were frowning. "Stop pretending you're ok!" Yuki practically snarled the words.

"I'm not… Breathing is…. easier… when I sit up," Shingen explained. At least the spasm seemed to be easing up. He closed his eyes and concentrated on getting air in. For a while, no one spoke, but he felt their warmth on either side of him. He would have preferred that no one learn of these… episodes… but since that horse was out of the stables, he admitted to himself that there was something comforting about have the two of them with him.

"How often does this happen?" Katsuko asked a question he'd been dreading. "This can't have been the first one if you knew sitting up is better for you."

"Not very often." He edged the blood flecked towel under the desk.

"We both saw it … My lord." That aggrieved edge was still in Yuki's voice.

"I'm aware of that. It doesn't mean I want to continue looking at it." Then, because he knew Katsuko would be even more suspicious if she had to ask again, he turned to her and said. "Not very often at all."

"Specifically, how many days a week, and do you have more than one a day?" She sounded impatient, and, clearly suspicious anyway. If he hadn't been the object of her questioning, he might have admired it more – someday, she might be good at interrogating prisoners – she didn't miss a trick. Rarely had, in fact.

Still, he downplayed it. "Two maybe three times a week. It's usually when I overexert myself." He looked up in time to see Yuki and Katsuko exchanging a meaningful glance. "Both of you, stop that. These spells are intense but brief."

"We're allowed to care about you," Yuki said. He leaned over and put the burr puzzle back on the desk. "You scared the hell out of Katsu. She was shaking when I got here."

Shingen filed that away to think about later. Not much scared his Devil.

And, already she was defending herself against Yuki's comment. "I was startled, that's all. Now that I have a better idea what to expect and what to do, I'll handle it better next time."

"God. The two of you deserve each other," Yuki muttered. "This incident proves you need to be treated sooner, not later."

Again with this? Days like today aside, he could manage to hang on until they could go through the time doorway at Togakushi. The future could wait until Katsuko could be there with him. "I do know what my body can and cannot handle. In the greater scheme of things, three months is not very long." He put his arms around their shoulders. "And I'd prefer to spend that time with the people who are closest in my heart."

Katsuko got to her feet. "I'm going to see if there is any willow bark tea in the kitchen." She gave him a long, firm look. "When I get back, you will drink it."

"What will you give me if I do?" Though he tried to ease the mood back to playful, Katsuko wasn't having it - she simply whirled around and zipped out of the room.

"Now there are two of you treating me like a child," he muttered once he was sure this time that she had gone and wasn't going to return immediately.

"Don't act like one." Yuki stood up and put the kettle back on the brazier – likely so the tea water would be hot by the time Katsuko got back.

"I've lived with this curse longer than either of you have been aware of it." Neither of them had been with him when he'd realized that the lump pressing into chest, rather than disappearing, was growing bigger. Neither of them had to wake up every morning and try to determine whether it would be a good breathing day. "I've gotten used to knowing what I can or cannot do."

"Or maybe you've gotten used to the daily worsening of your health to the point where you no longer notice it," Yuki pointed out. "I remember how you used to be – how long has it been since you trained on a daily basis?"

A… while. He ignored the implications of that. He'd been busy. As a response, he gestured to the pile of reports on his desk. "You can't have it both ways, Yuki. Either you think I am pushing myself, or I'm not training?" Yes, he knew full well that that wasn't Yukimura's point – but he also knew that he could out-argue his young friend any day.

Yuki sighed and scrubbed his hands through his hair. He looked like he was gritting his teeth. "I don't understand why you don't want to go for treatment immediately – look, I know you are concerned about Katsu, but there are people here who will look out for her. Mai's all but adopted her as an honorary sister, which means that Kenshin thinks of her that way too."

"Katsuko can be impulsive. It's entirely possible that she'll ride off to see her brother as soon as she can." Yuki started to say something, but Shingen cut him off. "Ikuno is a mining town – she might think she can handle herself, but her overconfidence could get her into trouble." Even here, she had gotten into trouble with the Shogun's men. If Kennyo's ninja hadn't been on hand to help, the result could have been far worse than the black eye she had received.

"That's possible, but… those silver mines are now under Oda control, and Toyotomi Hideyoshi recently took charge. Say what you like about the man – and I've said plenty – but he's about as law and order as they come. Katsuko might be safer there than you would be," Yuki said.

"Unless they find out she's… mine." At which point she would be a valuable hostage. But not wanting to dwell too deeply on his own claim to her meant to him, he added, "I want to be the one to take her to her brother. She's met those whom I consider to be family," he nodded at Yuki. "I'd like to meet hers."

"Tell her that, then. If you phrase it like that, I bet she'd be happy to wait. 'Meet your family' seems to be one those things women get all giggly over." In his typical Yukimura fashion, he rolled his eyes.

What if I don't come back?

Katsuko and Sasuke's world might boast better medicine, but neither of them claimed that Shingen would be cured. Only that he might be. But… this wasn't a conversation he was willing to have with Yuki. Or even Katsuko. "If, as you say, and I agree, that Katsuko is a strong and competent woman, then you should trust her to help me get to the future via the time door that will open for her."

"I do trust her… but she shouldn't have to do that." Apparently feeling like he had capped the argument, Yuki bowed to Shingen and left.

The best thing to do would be to go back to work as if nothing had happened. That should prove to his persistent daredevil that he could recover quickly from these attacks. By the time Katsuko returned, Shingen was calmly sitting at his desk, working away.

She quietly prepared the tea with the hot water Yuki had started for her and set it next to him. Was she trying not to disturb him or… he got a look at her face. "You're angry with me because I don't want to go with Sasuke."

"I'm angry with you because you've been hiding how bad it is." She settled down across the desk from him.

He could point out that deception, hiding, and lying were things that she was familiar with and practiced regularly herself. But… if he did that, there would be no returning from there. He was trying to avoid an argument, not make the one that was brewing worse. "I thought to spare you exactly that kind of scene," he replied. He patted the cushion next to him. Come over here and let me help you forget what you just saw.

"You can't shield me from everything. There's no need to. I've been crisscrossing this country by myself for years – I can handle things – if I know to prepare for them." She crossed her arms and gave him a steady look. "Drink the tea. I know you don't have a fever, but it should help with the pain."

Ugh. Must he? But to prove that he would do what was necessary to keep himself well for another three months, he sipped the tea. It… wasn't terrible. He thought maybe she'd put some honey in there to cover the taste? "At least it's not as awful as chewing on bark."

Katsuko watched him finish off the tea. "Am I understanding correctly that you don't have an objection to going to the future for treatment, but only to the timing of the journey?"

Once again, she showed an ability to see clear to the heart of a dilemma. "Yes, that's it exactly." Although he didn't want to get into the why that was, any more than he had wanted to with Yukimura. "I drank it all. Where's my reward?" Maybe he could get her to tell him another one of those folk – fairy tales.

But instead Katsuko shook her head. "I'm sorry… I need to be by myself for a little while." She gave him a quick kiss, then hurried out.

That was not supposed to happen.

An hour later, she had not returned. Instead, the next person through the door was Kenshin, who, rather than take a seat, stood at the desk and looked down at him. "What is this I hear about you turning down a method of treatment for your illness?"

Shingen wondered if it had been Yukimura or Sasuke who had tattled. Katsuko, at least, knew how to keep a secret. "I haven't turned it down. I've simply postponed it."

"You're being an idiot." Kenshin rattled his sword in his scabbard, and Shingen started the mental countdown to the moment he unsheathed it.

"I disagree with that assessment, but even if it were accurate, I don't recall giving you a say in the matter." Damn it, he felt another cough starting. He cleared his throat, hoping to force it back.

"I don't recall being given a say in the matter when you started stirring up trouble in Echigo when I locked myself away after Isehime… died." And there went the sword. Kenshin swept it through the air a few times, before bringing it close to Shingen's throat. "If you die before I am able to kill you, I will kill you."

Apparently, he felt like he had said his piece, and he turned and marched out.

Shingen barely had a moment to grab another cup of tea – Katsuko had been correct that the willow bark tea made him feel a bit better – before he was cursed with another visitor – Yoshimoto, who, like Kenshin, walked in without announcing himself. "Katsuko's not with you?" his cousin asked. "I expected to find the two of you cuddled up in an overt display of domestic bliss."

"We've had… a slight difference of opinion." More than slight, but Yoshimoto was the last person he wanted to discuss his personal life with. Or perhaps second to last – Kenshin was fairly low on that list as well. "What brings you here?"

Yoshimoto's acquisitive eyes lit upon the puzzle box that Katsuko had given him. He picked it up and ran his fingers over the inlay wood. "I ordered one of these for myself. Tokuro is an exquisite craftsman." At Shingen's impatient sigh, he added, "Do I need to have a reason, other than to visit?"

"You generally have a reason." Shingen resigned himself to spending the next chunk of the evening dancing around whatever topic Yoshimoto wanted to discuss.

"I may have had one when I left my room, but it has flitted out of my head like a butterfly now." Yoshimoto folded himself onto the cushion that Katsuko had recently abandoned. "Which opinion do you have and which does she have, and how different are they?"

"What are the odds that this particular line of questioning will flit out of your head as well, if I decline to respond?" Shingen replied. Aside from not particularly wanting to discuss this with Yoshimoto, there was the fact that his cousin wasn't aware of the time travel issue.

Yoshimoto again fondled the puzzle box, and Shingen's fingers itched to snatch it out of his hands. "It has taken root."

"Like a weed?"

Yoshimoto inclined his head. "If you say so."

Weeds could be yanked out of the ground forcefully, but Shingen didn't feel like making the effort. "There is a possibility that the healers in Katsuko's home … village… will be able to treat my illness. However, there are only two possible ways to make the, er, voyage, and the first one, for various reasons, is too dangerous for Katsuko. I could make that journey with Sasuke. But I prefer to wait for the second -."

"You're talking about the time travel?" Yoshimoto spoke as if time travel was as common as travel by palanquin.

"She told you?" Not that he minded her sharing the information, but considering how difficult she apparently found telling him, Shingen was annoyed that Yoshimoto had been so easily brought into the secret.

Yoshimoto smiled. "She did not. It was something I suspected of Sasuke and Mai. Recently Mai said that Katsuko was from the same 'village' as she was, so it was not difficult to put that together." He shrugged. "I might, possibly, in my wanderings in search of art and antiquities, encountered a person not of this time… and as they say, 'there are more things on heaven and earth, than are dreamt of in your philosophy…. Er, that last bit is from a stage play, that… might not yet be written, but the person I encountered, enjoyed quoting from it." He fluttered his fan. "That's neither here nor there. You were saying?"

There were several comments and questions Shingen considered posing to Yoshimoto, but it was too much effort. Discussing anything with his cousin felt like chasing after a piece of paper that had been caught in the wind. It would flap about, changing direction without warning, and then suddenly blow back and hit you in the face. "If I were to go to the future for medical treatment, I must either leave Katsuko behind to travel with Sasuke in a few weeks from a Honno-ji, or wait for another three months and travel with Katusuko from the Togokushi Shrine. I prefer to wait. Katsuko and Yukimura believe I should go with Sasuke."

"Ah." Yoshimoto nodded. "What does Sasuke say?"

"Aside from mentioning that the earlier trip would be optimal, he has declined to press an opinion on me forcefully." Although for Sasuke, that probably was his way of being forceful. "And you?"

"Are you asking for my opinion?" Yoshimoto seemed flattered.

"Rather I am bowing to the inevitability that you plan to share it whether or not I ask." Not that he intended to put any more stock in it than anyone else's.

"It seems to me that when it comes to illness, treatment should be sought sooner, rather than later," Yoshimoto said. "If your concern is being parted from Katsuko, waiting too long might result in a more permanent separation… although I expect she might not be alone for terribly long in the latter scenario."

Well.

Shingen sat up straighter and fixed a glare on Yoshimoto. There was that piece of paper, changing direction and slapping him in the face. He realized that Yoshimoto had only chosen those words for effect, but that didn't stop him from asking, "You?"

"Oh, no. I was speaking in generalities not specifics. While I like Katsuko very much, she is not a restful person. I wouldn't have the energy." Yoshimoto punctuated that statement with a theatrical yawn. "But as I'm sure you are aware, there are many who will find that spiritedness very attractive."

Apparently deciding that was enough conversation for the time being, Yoshimoto got up and flitted away like the butterfly he had recently compared his memory to.

So… that was four people in a row who had claimed the last word in a discussion and taken themselves off before he could respond. Not wanting to suffer a fifth instance, Shingen gave up and went to bed. It didn't look like Katsuko was planning to return in the near future.

He'd been deeply asleep at the time, but at some point in the middle of the night, Katsuko had decided to come back. Rather than try to determine when, he was simply grateful that she was there, curled into him like a kitten. He supposed his body had recognized her coming home, because his arm was around her, hand resting on her stomach. He felt her deep even breathing against him.

Some lingering tension from the previous afternoon and evening slowly drained from his body. He closed his eyes again, floated back into the soft fog bank of sleep, until the sunrise tugged him into awareness.

Katsuko muttered something about a … half… pipe? Which made little sense, but fairly typical of her. Though he'd once teased her with a made-up story about sleep-narrating an intense session of lovemaking, it was true that she could carry on long, nonsensical conversations in her sleep. Once of these days, he would break that news to her, but for the time being, he was having too much fun knowing something she didn't.

She continued to chatter for a while, until he sensed that she was moving into wakefulness. "Are you sleeping?"

"Half," was her adorably sleepy mumble.

Hm. He wasn't much more awake than that either, except for... "Do you want to be sleeping?" Her eyelashes were fanned out on her cheeks. Shingen lightly tickled her eyelids.

She lazily batted away his hand. "That depends on the other options."

He decided to give her a hint and moved his hand back to her stomach. With intent, stroked her belly, dipping lower and lower with each circle. "I do have another option," he said.

Her answer was to turn toward him and tug him closer. Her tranquil acceptance of his overture was a balm to him, and he whispered his joy and thankfulness into her ear. He eased into her, or maybe more accurately they eased into each other, a long, extended, intimate hug. This was not an explosion of passion, but something quieter, something… essential.