Hello my loves. Sorry this is posted later than I originally stated. I picked up some extra hours at work and after several long days, including a 13 hour shift, the only thing I wanted to do was sleep.

Normal disclaimers apply.

Emmett was waiting for me outside of the gym when I finally emerged from the locker room. We walked to my car in a comfortable silence and he let out a low whistle at the immaculate condition of my Volvo.

"Sweet ride dude."

"Than-"

"Shame it's an old ladies car." He shrugged, cutting me off and sliding into the passenger seat.

I stood there with my mouth dropped open in shock at the blatant diss of my baby until Emmett knocked on the drivers window and asked if I was getting in. I sat in the drivers seat and switched on the radio. Some oldies station blared out of the speakers. I had forgotten dad had borrowed my car while his was in the garage.

Emmett quirked a brow at me. "I do have music from this decade I swear." I said, reaching for the channel changing button.

"Hey, I'm not judging. I like some older stuff too. I enjoy making up different lyrics to them. Take Magic Moments by Perry Como for instance." He grinned before bursting into song. "If you're wanting some fun, then finger your bum, first remember to lick it. If you're down on your knees and sucking knob cheese, you're trying not to spit it. Dee-praved mo-ments. Scenes behind closed doors. Dee-praved mo-ments. You wish that they were yours." Emmett burst out laughing once he had finished singing while I sat there slightly stunned. "See! It's much more fun than the original lyrics. You try it. Turn up the volume."

I did as he asked and Seasons in the Sun by Terry Jacks was playing. I paid attention to the tune and came up with; "We had joy, we had fun. Flicking bogies at the sun. But the sun was too hot and they melted into snot." I finished loudly, my face burning red.

Emmett howled so loud with laughter several other students stopped walking past to look at us through my car windows. "Oh man. That was the best thing I've ever heard. You and I are going to get on great."

I shook my head but couldn't stop smiling as I pulled out of the school parking lot.

It didn't take me long to drive us both back to my house, despite being on the outskirts of town. Tanya did her usual creepy flirting out front as I ushered Emmett into the house as fast as possible. "Mom? I'm home. I brought a friend." I called out as soon as I opened the front door.

"Welcome home sweetheart. I hope you listened to me and stayed away from those Swan kids. Charlie may be a decent man, but his kids act like hooligans." She called back before walking around the corner to greet me. Her eyes went wide when she saw who I was standing with.

"Mom, this is Emmett Swan. I'm his school buddy and partner for our English assignment. Emmett, this is my mom Esme Cullen."

"Nice to meet ya Mrs C. I'm one of those hooligans you told Eddie here to stay away from." He socked me in the shoulder before looking around and letting out a low whistle. "Sweet digs you got here. Reminds me of this house we stayed in while we were in...Delaware."

"His name is Edward. I didn't suffer through thirty two hours of labour for him to be called 'Eddie'. And thank you. I decorated it myself."

"Mom! Don't be rude."

"Don't you dare lecture me on manners Edward Anthony. You may be taller than me but you're not an adult yet. Just wait until your father hears about this."

"C'mon dude. She's going to be ranting like this for hours until my dad comes home and calms her down." I led Emmett up to my room. "I'm sorry for the way she spoke to you. She is nice normally. I swear."

"Pshh, don't sweat it. I liked her Malfoy impersonation. I thought for sure she was going to pull a full Draco. Oh Sweet! You've got the latest Fifa game." He said, spying my games console and stack of discs. "Wanna match?"

"Sure. Why not." I shrugged. We could always work on our assignment after the game.

Three matches later and Emmett winning 2-1, we finally got started on our schoolwork.

"Oh!" He exclaimed from his spot on my bed. "I know this play. Izzy had a role in it." He said, thumbing through the pages.

Not a lot of people know about her role in this particular screen adaptation because it was such a small part. Only her die hard fans know that. "You're an Izzy Marie fan too?" I asked, excited that we'd have something else in common. No one else at school seemed to be as big of a fan of hers as I am. "I have all of her work on DVD. Did you want to watch one?"

"NO!" He shouted, making me jump slightly. "Sorry. No, it's alright. Actually... I have to go." He looked at his watch. "It was nice hanging out with you Ed."

"Yeah you too. Let me just grab my keys and I'll drive you home." I made to get up from my desk but he stopped me.

"Don't worry about it. I'll enjoy the walk and it's not like it's far to go."

"Oh okay. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Sure thing. Laters." I heard him jog down the stairs and call out a 'See ya later Mrs C' to my mom and then he was gone. He didn't even take his English book with him. I put it in my bag with the intention of giving it back to him tomorrow.

What an odd end to the afternoon. I for sure thought I had found a fellow Izzy fan, but obviously not. Oh well. I can keep my obsession to myself.

000

After dinner I was just settling down to rub one out when my door burst open and Alice pranced in. Thankfully I was fully dressed this time. "Alice! Don't you know how to knock?!" I growled, feeling my desire dissipate.

"Oh shush Edward. I've seen it all before. We did share a womb after all and there was also that phase you went through when we were six and you refused to wear clothes for our entire summer vacation in Florida."

"I was four and yes I do remember. What do you want?"

"I need you to lie to mom and dad for me tomorrow. Jasper's parents are away for the evening and I'm spending the night. I need you to tell our parents that I'm staying round Rosalie's for the night instead."

"Why don't you just tell them yourself?" I asked, irritated that she wants me to do this for her.

"Because you know what mom's like. She'll start asking twenty questions and you know I'll crack under that type of pressure. Please Edward. Pleeeeeease?" She begged. "If you do this I'll forgive you for leaving me behind this morning."

Hmm. I mulled it over for a bit. Lie to mom and save some money. I can do that. "Fine. But if she asks it was a last minute decision because Rosalie wanted some girl time. I refuse to tell her any more than that so you better have a plan in place for if she calls you to check."

Alice flung herself across me and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Thank you! You're the best brother I could ask for." She squealed before climbing off me and skipping to my door. "I need to go wax!"

That visual completely killed off any need I had lingering and I was left with a limp dick and a slightly sick feeling in my stomach. Sisters ugh. Who'd have them.

Anyone else notice Emmett's near slips? If he carries on like that it won't take Edward long to piece two and two together.

On a different note my other fic Neighbourhood Nice Off placed 4th in the top ten fics completed in August by twifanfictionrecs. If you haven't read it already please do and leave me your thoughts.

Much love x