"I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more." ― C. S. Lewis

III.

About three years ago…

"Stay, don't go yet."

So much for Kang Sol trying to escape the sleeping dragon.

It was tempting to agree to the request especially as he was casting some kind of mesmerising spell with those forlorn, pleading eyes.

Kang Sol covered her eyes with her left palm.

Resist, resist. She told herself. A time and a place. A time and place.

"As attractive as this offer is, Han Joon-hwi, I can't. I'm meeting a client at 9. I've got to go home first. Have a shower and then change."

"And I have a trial in two days." He sighed regretfully but there was a mischievous glint in his eye. " I was suppose to be working last night but I was seduced by my beautiful fiancee."

"Seduced? Hah. Hardly. You fell asleep before I did."

"Did I? Well, then we'll have to rectify things immediately."

Before he could make his move, Sol slipped away from his grasping reach.

"You should get to work too, Han Joon-hwi. You're a public servant remember? Your salary comes from the taxpayers of South Korea and that includes me. On behalf of the taxpaying public, I insist that you get off your butt and take yourself off to work."

"Yeah sure, Ms Taxpayer. But I insist on seeing you tonight. To pick up where we left off."

Joon-hwi was pulling out all the stops but Sol seemed immune to his early morning charms.

Sol hesitated. Something that had been nagging at her, something brewing away below the surface which was beginning to take vague shape in her mind.

Joon-hwi noticed the change in her demeanour.

"Why, what's the problem?" He said sharply.

"I don't know. That's the problem. Something doesn't feel right."

The cryptic talk set Joon-hwi off imagining all kinds of scenarios. Was she getting cold feet? Did he go too far? Was she feeling the pressure?

"What doesn't? You mean us… doing it? You don't want to?" His handsome face displayed a panorama of expressions alternating between bewilderment, anxiety and frustration. Sol was adept at throwing curve balls at the least opportune moments but this one took the cake.

"Idiot." She sank into the edge of the bed. "What are you thinking? It's the whistleblower, Shin Eun-hye."

Joon-hwi heaved a sigh of relief which went unnoticed. "What's wrong with her?"

"She's acting weirdly. I don't know. She's been avoiding my calls."

"We don't need her to testify, you know. We have everything we need."

"There's something else going on and I can't put my finger on it."

"You think Pyramid Pharma got to her?"

"Yeah, maybe. Something like that." The frown indicated that she was unconvinced by that hypothesis. "I don't know. I'm probably being paranoid."

"Probably. But it doesn't mean you're wrong." A happy grin replaced the anxious look. "But what does that have to do with you not being here tonight?"

"I want to go over to her place and see her after work. I'm worried."

"Alright, I'm coming with you." There would be no convincing Sol to do anything to the contrary. It would be a waste of time and Joon-hwi didn't bother. He did what he always did. Tag along.

"You don't need to."

"Of course I don't. But when my fiancee sees ominous signs of things going wrong, I feel compelled to be there just in case they really do. Because more often than not, she's probably right on the money."

On top of everything else he had to contend with, Pyramid's legal representatives from Hwajeong came knocking on Prosecutor Han's door that morning. Joon-hwi was startled by the unexpected sight of an old friend. A former roommate in fact.

"Pyramid wants to settle this out of court. "

"No way in hell." He was adamant on that. "I don't do deals with the devil."

"C'mon Joon-hwi. Let's not make this a crusade. Or a thing about good vs evil. I'm just representing a client."

Seo Ji-ho, now an attorney with Hwajeong and Associates, was placidly sitting across the table from Joon-hwi prepared for a fight. The latter already had an inkling why he was there.

"Did your firm send you here as their errand boy because they know that we were once roommates?" Joon-hwi did his best to keep the sarcasm out of his voice and largely succeeded.

"I chose to come here. I volunteered."

"But why?"

"Because I knew that you'd be like this."

"Protecting your colleagues and your employers?"

"Something like that."

"Protecting your career more like it," scoffed Joon-hwi, unable to hold back the frustration that was building up.

"I have never pretended to be an idealist and of course I care about my career. But whether you believe it or not, I'm trying to protect you too."

Joon-hwi did not respond. He knew Seo Ji-ho well enough to know that those sorts of words were not said lightly. Since his former roommate had taken the trouble to come, he obviously had something worth saying. Joon-hwi felt an obligation to listen. For old times sake and out of respect for the person who came despite expecting the push back.

Ji-ho started off on a sinister note.

"Believe me when I say that you don't really want to mess with Pyramid Pharmaceuticals. I know what you're going to say Han Joon-hwi. But there are things you don't know. I can't say I know much myself."

"There are rumours circulating around Hwajeong… just rumours mind you… that the CEO of Pyramid is a psychopath and people who get on his bad side don't end well. Some are never heard of again. On top of that some of my more senior colleagues have hinted that the company might be involved in gain-of-function research. I asked around a bit but I was stonewalled for the most part. It's probably the case that no one really knows anything. There is no real proof of that and no one who knows anything is talking. Whatever it is that they're actually doing, I think there must be some foundation to the rumours.

"What I'm trying to say is that if you push too hard… or dig too deep they could make life very difficult for you… and Sol. Even if you don't care about yourself or your career. You should think about Sol. She's your weakness and sooner or later they will find out.

"Take the deal, Joon-hwi. It's not a bad one in the scheme of things. Think of it as a first step. Live to fight another day. Sooner or later whatever it is that they're up to will surface.

"And no… the firm doesn't know about our relationship. As far as they're concerned I am just a young ambitious lawyer who is trying to prove himself. If you don't mind, I'd like to keep it that way for as long as possible."

It seemed as if heaven or whoever was in charge of the universe spinning clockwork on its axis, was conspiring against them. Everyone and everyone was telling Prosecutor Han to settle and put an end to things. A protracted court case was in nobody's interest. Of course it went against the grain but he could hardly fault the arguments thrown his way. The consensus was that Pyramid was a monstrosity that no one wanted to untangle. No one except for Han Joon-hwi of course.

Finally pressure came from the higher-ups. A minor victory was still a victory. That was the mantra on offer and Joon-hwi was being pressured to take it against his better judgement.

It was scarcely a coincidence either that Shin Eun-hye, the whistleblower, went off-grid and became inconveniently uncontactable right about that time. They went to her apartment as planned but the place was bare. Except for a few pictures left behind in haste, it looked as if no one ever lived there. Something or someone spooked her and she ran out of town as soon as she could.

Although victorious, the bride-to-be and her future groom were commiserating some days later in a deserted part of their favourite park with cans of beer and oil-soaked fried chicken. Comfort food for two young lawyers who were suffering from the after effects of a pyrrhic victory.

"You know, Joon-hwi, I really hate being right sometimes."

"It feels like we're going to have get used to being right and hating it."

"What is it about Pyramid that scares everyone?"

"That's what I wanted to find out. I wish we had more to go on to prolong the investigation."

"You did your best."

"It doesn't seem like enough sadly."

"It's the price we pay for working within the limits of the law."

"What? Is the Great Kang Sol A saying that she's giving up on the law and taking up vigilantism?"

"Right now the way I feel, it's tempting." Sol laughed in spite of herself. "But I have no superpower or unlimited wealth like Batman or Iron Man."

"You have a superpower."

"Don't say it's you." She wagged her fingers accusingly

"I wasn't going to but I can live that too."

"So what's my superpower then?"

"It's your passion to save people and the extent you'd go for them."

Sol threw her arms around Joon-hwi with childish glee. "Do you like me that much?"

"I must if we're getting married in a few months."

"Sheesh… What a wet blanket." She made a pretence of being exasperated. "But that's okay because I like you heaps and heaps. I will forgive you everything."

She tip-toed and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Promise me that you will never give up even when everything is against us."

"I solemnly promise to every request that comes packaged with a kiss."

"Idiot."

Present…

The lifeless body lying on the autopsy table was that of a former sergeant in the navy, Lee Do-hyun. Dead for a week his face had been rendered unrecognisable by bludgeoning and acid burn. Fingerprints could not be taken due to acid burn on his fingers. But there were other distinguishing features about the deceased which expedited identification. He had scars — old knife wounds of varying sizes and a single bullet wound in the shoulder area. The medical examiner speculated that these could be the result of someone who had seen combat and/or trained in a branch of the military. So the missing persons database was duly consulted with all the variables input.

Despite having been witness to most of the previous victims in gruesome technicolour, Joon-hwi was not exempt from experiencing a nauseous discomfort in the pit of his stomach. It was a grisly sight to be sure. In life this man had been someone's son, husband and father, a pillar of his community who somehow happened to fall into the clutches of some unconscionable maniac with a strong bloodlust. It didn't seem enough that he was dead but the mangling of the body showed an inexplicable hatred for the victim — an act which was done post-mortem. With no obvious answer in sight, the murders appeared nothing more than the senseless act of a monster.

The killer's morbid fascination with his victim's brain baffled the experts. What was the purpose behind poking and prodding around another person's thought functions? What had he (most likely) wanted to achieve with the craniotomy? That was never fully convincingly determined. As always it had been done with precision with the right tools by an expert in the trade. It was assumed at the time to be a senseless act by a failed medic who was fixated on wreaking havoc and vengeance on a world that had been cruel to him.

It was as if Jack the Ripper had reincarnated and was reborn in South Korea. That was how the media would sensationalise it and milk it for whatever it was worth. The MO was inconveniently wrong of course. But the terror that swept across the nation was the same. A serial killer. The stuff of fictional tv was a nightmarish reality for the residents of Gyeonggi province.

"It's the 14th body and it still gets to me."

Detective Kim said out loud what most in attendance were thinking. Not that anyone really felt like talking but the silence and tension was becoming tortuous.

"So Doc, it's confirmed then that this is another homeless killing?"

"I can't tell you if this is the homeless killer's handiwork. But I can safely say that it checks all the same boxes as the previous deaths."

"Cause of death?"

"The same. Myocardial infarction induced by unknown substance."

"Thanks Doc. You've worked hard. This has been a tough gig. For everyone."

"Catch the scumbag. That will be thanks enough for me."

"What are you thinking Han pro?"

Joon-hwi had been noticeably quiet during the briefing. He seemed lost in his thoughts.

"Did Sgt Lee go homeless too?" voicing where his thoughts had been taking him.

"Not especially. He disappeared 3 months ago after telling his family that he was going on a business trip to Guam but he never came back." That response came from a seasoned member of the RIU, Lee Seung-jae after consulting the document in front of him.

"If we are to assume that the same perp is behind this, it seems to break the pattern. Sgt Lee wasn't homeless like the others."

"Where are you going with this?" inquired Team Leader Kim. "Are you saying that Lee Do-hyun is not a victim of the homeless killer? A copy cat?"

"Not exactly. I think, no, I'm sure he was a victim of the homeless killer. The evidence indicates that."

"So you're saying that Lee Do-hyun is an anomaly in the pattern…?"

"We all assumed in the previous cases that the perp chose homeless persons because they were easy pickings. Some random person on the street."

Joon-hwi paused momentarily to gather all the strands of his thoughts.

"What if there was something else about the victimology that we missed?"

"Like what?"

"Like what if the victims weren't homeless as we'd thought? What if they had some other reason to interact with the killer?"

"Han pro… are you saying that the victims knew the perp?

"I'm not sure. Maybe. But I have to wonder if they're a self-selecting group."

"They chose to go with the perp rather than the perp randomly picking the vics?"

"According to the first report after you canvassed the homeless folk in the nearby areas, no one saw anything or was even sure they were acquainted with any of the victims."

"So what?"

"Were they really homeless? Or were they made to look like they were homeless? Maybe we need to rethink the entire investigation. Go back to the drawing board."

The entire room comprised of law enforcement officers exploded into a noisy protest.

Team Leader Kim stood up and whistled for attention. He was rewarded with compliant silence.

"Even before Han pro suggested it, I was going to bring it up anyway. It's obvious that we missed something last time. Let's do what Prosecutor Han said. We need to look harder at the victimology in light of new evidence about the latest victim.

"We are trying to catch a killer here. Leave your egos and agendas at the door. We don't need all that crap here when the entire country is being terrorised by this kind of evil. There's only one thing of importance here: We have to catch this bastard and save lives."

"Team Leader, thanks for what you did in there, sir. I know you didn't do it for me but these days I take whatever I can get."

"Don't thank me. You can be sure you'll be working hard."

"Working hard I don't mind but being treated like a pariah for doing what I thought was my job is not exactly what I signed up for."

"Lee Jun-ho is not a bad guy but he's not someone who rocks the boat."

"I noticed."

"You're a smart kid Han pro but I have a question that I've been meaning to ask."

"Ask away."

"Why did you become a prosecutor? You could have gone anywhere you wanted or as far as you wanted in the police."

"It's my uncle, I guess. He was a like father to me."

"Professor Seo Byung-ju. I remember him."

"It was the height of conceit that I thought that being a prosecutor was where I could do the most good. But these days… I'm not so sure."

"I still have doubts myself and I've been in the force for over 20 years now. You think you know everything, seen everything. Then something like the homeless killer comes along and we're back to square one. We have to unlearn everything we know. It's tiring."

"I thought it was just me."

"You're just tired, kid."

"I can't afford to be tired. Not right now."

"None of us can. But at least enjoy the change in scenery."

"I will. And thanks."

"According to former Sgt Lee Do-hyun's family, he was suffering PTSD after an incident in Afghanistan where he was deployed. After being discharged from the navy, he flitted from one job to another for 10 years. He didn't seem to be able to hold down a job for too long. After a time, his parents sold the old family home and helped him start a small electronics business. That went okay. A week before he went AWOL he told them that he was going on a business trip and in his words: when he came back things would get better."

"Did they say how things would be better?"

"He didn't say and they all assumed he meant that the business would get a boost."

"The really interesting thing is that he didn't book any flights out or leave the country illegally."

"It's an odd thing to say. 'Things will get better'. What things? Why not just say that the business will improve? It's so vague."

"What if he isn't talking about the business but something else?"

"Lee Do-hyun's life consisted of the shop, home and church. That was it. He didn't even drink."

"Did he have friends? Former navy buddies? Someone he was close to?"

"Ah yes. He used to attend a support group for navy vets. I almost forgot about that."

"Someone there should know what was going on with Lee Do-hyun. It's possible that he told them something that he never told his family."

"What about Kim Hyun-min formerly Captain Kim Hyun-min, ex-special forces?"

"Same kind of story except that he was in Iraq. PTSD when an IED blew up half his team. Actually if you change the names and the dates and a few details, it's practically the same story."

"This has got to be the key."

"I don't believe in coincidences." Team Leader Kim was nodding sagely.

"We've got to start talking to his relatives and acquaintances again."

"I was afraid you were going to say that. It's too much to expect that anyone would remember anything new when we're 18 months away from the initial investigation."

"It has to be done."

"The previous report also noted that Kim Hyun-min was in unusually good spirits two weeks beforehand. He met some old school mates for dinner and told them that he was going to start all over again and things were going to get better for him soon."

"If I remembered right he was in the fishing business."

"He was."

"It's no coincidence. They both had long-term PTSD. How were they being treated?"

"Meds. Psychiatric consults. Rehab. That sort of stuff."

"Okay, we've got to talk to the docs and get their medical reports. Prosecutor Han can help with warrants and subpoenas."

"I hope it's not some kind of wild goose chase and we're barking up the wrong tree."

"Even if it is, we can't leave any stone unturned."

"Since Iraq, Hyun-min hasn't been the same. He was a mess when he came back. Of course he felt responsible for what happened to his men but the truth was, he was lucky to be alive. War is hell and he brought hell home. The fishing gig saved his life. He lost everything when he came back."

A close military buddy of Kim Hyun-min had come in to make a statement. He had been in a different unit but they had trained together before.

"I know it's been a while but can you remember anything else about him before he disappeared?"

"I've been thinking about this since you contacted me. I went through some photos on my phone and found some of a get-together we had a couple of months before his… death. I guess I was feeling nostalgic. And I thought maybe the photos would help trigger my memory."

"Did it?"

"I think so. I talked to some of the other guys who were there first to make sure that I remembered correctly. Hyun-min was in really good spirits. You can see that in the photos. We all commented on that. Some of us even thought that he met a new woman or something. Everyone joked about it."

"Was it? A new woman?"

"No it wasn't at least that what he said but he was cagey about what it was."

"Do you think he was lying about it not being a woman?"

"I don't think so. He was quite insistent."

"What do you think it was?"

"It's hard to say. Hyun-min was excited about something. For the first time since he came back from overseas, he seemed to be hopeful."

"Any ideas of what that could be?"

"Hmmm… I don't know. But… Hyun-min used to say… that he wished he could forget everything. If it weren't for the memory flashes, he would have some semblance of normality so that he could move on. He always wanted to forget and that's why he went to live on the coast to get away from everything. He even tried hypnosis once. That's how desperate he was."

"So detective, you don't think Do-hyun was murdered by the homeless killer?"

"We're exploring other lines of inquiry now that new evidence has come to light."

"I don't understand. Why Do-hyun?"

"That's what we're trying to determine, sir. I realise this must be painful for you."

"Parents shouldn't have to bury their children. It's not normal."

Joon-hwi who was watching the interrogation thought about the elderly man's loss which inevitably him led to think about his own.

A man shouldn't have to wonder where his fiancee is after three years.

At least he has a body.

He let the thought sink in, regretted it instantly and then chided himself for being selfish.

"I'm sorry sir but I will have to ask more questions." Detective Yeo's discomfiture in dealing with the subject was clear and his eagerness to get on with it showed. Fortunately the elderly man was too caught up in his own grief to notice.

"I want to do everything I can of course but I really don't know much. I didn't even know he was back in the country."

"The electronics shop. Was it doing well?"

"It paid the bills. It didn't make us rich truth be told but Do-hyun had a way with machines which is why he was involved in communications while he was in the navy."

"He had PTSD? It's on his record."

"If you mean was he shellshocked… yes, but he never liked to talk about it. The only time we knew what he was thinking or feeling was when he had nightmares."

"But before he left on his business trip, what was he like? What was his mental state?"

"Nothing really out of the ordinary. Actually, he seemed to be in good spirits."

"Was he especially happy?"

The father thought about it before saying, "Yes, he was. My wife made a comment about it. I remember that. We were having dinner together. Our daughter-in-law and grandson were there too."

"Do you remember anything he said?"

"He was happy… that I remember and then he told us things were going to get better. I thought he was talking about the business."

"What else could he have meant?"

"If it wasn't about the shop, then it would have to be about his nightmares."

"Was he getting treated?"

"He was going to therapy now and again. The support group was a help. But he was still having nightmares occasionally."

Joon-hwi spoke into the microphone that was connected to Detective Yeo's earpiece. "Ask him if Lee Do-hyun ever said he wanted to forget. Those exact words."

"Did your son, Lee Do-hyun ever say that he wanted to forget everything?"

The grieving father was quicker with his response this time. "Yes, he did. Many times. He said everything would be better if he could forget. He would be a better son, husband and father. He sometimes said he felt like he was only half a man because of he kept remembering things he didn't want to. He prayed and prayed that God would take away those terrible memories. He was praying for a miracle."

Detective Yeo turned to the two-way mirror and stared at it intently. Prosecutor Han who was on the other side observing and listening could only nod, unsure of what the implications of all that might be.