A being darkly wise, and rudely great:
With too much knowledge for the sceptic side,
With too much weakness for the stoic's pride,
He hangs between; in doubt to act, or rest;
In doubt to deem himself a god, or beast;
In doubt his mind or body to prefer;
Born but to die, and reas'ning but to err;
Alike in ignorance, his reason such,
Whether he thinks too little, or too much:
Chaos of thought and passion, all confus'd;
Still by himself abus'd, or disabus'd;
Created half to rise, and half to fall;
Great lord of all things, yet a prey to all;
Sole judge of truth, in endless error hurl'd:
The glory, jest, and riddle of the world!
- Alexander Pope, An Essay on Man: Epistle II

V.

Across the glass barrier that separated them, Lee Min-seok was looking gaunt and unshaven. There were things Kim Ju-hyuk hated about his job: One was breaking the bad news to loved ones about the deceased and the other was this: Telling an innocent man that the system had screwed up and he was behind bars because of it. At least Prosecutor Han was there with him to cushion the imminent blowback.

"Why are you here? To gloat? To torment me?" Lee Min-seok spoke in a dull, lifeless tone. " Isn't it enough that you've destroyed my life already? How many times do I have to tell you that it wasn't me? I didn't do it."

"We are here because we have been tasked to reinvestigate the entire case." Han Joon-hwi spoke first.

Lee Min-seok perked up as he heard the change in tune. "Something's happened, right?" As soon as the lights came on for him, he arrived at the obvious conclusion, "You found another body."

Neither the prosecutor nor the detective were willing to concede anything. So neither felt inclined to respond.

Lee Min-seok's face suddenly became animated and thoughtful. "So there was someone else there on that day."

"What day? Who?"

"That day you police goons accused me of dumping Kim Min-hyuk's body."

"What did that person look like?"

"I couldn't see but I felt him watching me."

"That's not enough. We need more to go on."

"I know, that's why I didn't say anything at the time." Lee Min-seok's eyes eagerly darted between the two men. "Are you here to release me? I'm a victim of wrongful indictment after all."

"The matter is still under investigation."

"I'm telling you, it wasn't me. I haven't been able to stand the sight of blood since a medical incident 8 years ago. I suffer from PTSD too."

"So you say. But your psychiatrist… Dr Jeon Dong-kyung… had a different explanation."

"Yeah, I heard her testimony in court. I was shocked to hear her say that I was faking it. She told everyone that I had Munchausen Syndrome. In all the time I was having sessions with her, she never gave me the impression she thought I had Munchausen or that I was faking PTSD."

"Are you saying that your psychiatrist committed perjury?"

"She lied, if that's what you mean. I don't know why she did that. It made no sense."

"Maybe she changed her diagnosis."

"If she had, no one told me beforehand. I don't know why anyone would fake PTSD, I still get nightmares from time to time. It's not the kind of life anyone would want to live. That's why I dropped out of medical school. A patient bled out in front of me due to medical negligence on the part of my supervisor. It wasn't me but he made me the scapegoat and scared everyone else into supporting him."

"Why didn't your public defender bring that up?"

"I don't know to be honest. He seemed very sharp and he gave me the impression that he was very supportive before the trial but once we got to court, he didn't try very hard to defend me. I got the feeling he had other reasons for taking my case."

"Like what?"

"Everyone thinks I'm paranoid for saying this but it seemed like he wanted to make sure I lost. If he had done his job properly things might have gone differently for me."

"Did the prosecutor-in-charge know this?"

"I don't think so. He didn't seem experienced enough to be on such a big case."

"That name seemed to ring a bell."

"It should because her name's listed as one of the psych consultants for the victims."

"That cannot be a coincidence, surely."

"It's hard to say. There can't be that many female psychiatrists around in the country especially one that specialises in trauma counselling."

"Did you believe that rigmarole about his lawyer sabotaging his trial?"

"He seems to believe it. Now that we know what we know, I'm beginning to think that it's possible. "

"But why would his lawyer do that?"

"I could think of a few reasons. Whatever they might be." Unsure of all the facts, Joon-hwi was reluctant to commit himself. "I think we need to pay Dr Jeon Dong-kyung a visit."

"I was thinking exactly the same thing."

"I told the prosecutor then what I'm telling you now. Lee Min-seok is a classic case of Munchausen syndrome brought about by childhood trauma. It's a rare condition but it does happen."

"Lee Min-seok insists that he has PTSD."

"Of course he does. He would, wouldn't he? A made up illness to get attention and to hide his darker impulses. It's the perfect cover. But I said all that two years ago."

"What about Kim Min-hyuk? And Seo Ho-chul? They were also your patients. Didn't they suffer PTSD?"

"Kim Min-hyuk? Seo Ho-chul? The victims of the homeless murders? Yes, they were patients of mine. Both had post-traumatic stress disorder. Why?"

"It's an interesting coincidence, is it not? That three of your patients happen to be involved in the murders?"

"What are you saying, Prosecutor Han? Are you implying that I'm somehow involved in their deaths?"

"Did I? I only made the observation that it was an interesting coincidence that these three individuals came to you for counselling."

"Really Prosecutor Han. It feels like you'll be accusing me of murder next."

"I'm sorry that you feel this way Dr Jeon. But I wouldn't dare. All I'm saying is that your clinic seems to be the common variable."

"As far as I know, they never met. And I'm one of a few PTSD specialists in the greater Seoul area."

Detective Kim decided then that it was the right moment to insert himself in this conversation. The seemingly calm and collected woman that ushered them into her office was clearly rattled by Han pro's line of questioning. What that meant wasn't entirely clear to him but her defensiveness was curious.

"Kim Min-hyuk and Seo Ho-chul told their friends and loved ones that they wanted to forget. What do you think they meant by that?"

Dr Jeon regained her professional poise and her confidence returned. It was a return to comfortable territory. But she was clearly more guarded.

"Both these men had experienced some form of trauma in their lives. They relive the event through undesirable and recurring memories. Kim Min-hyuk for almost 2 decades and Seo Ho-chul for 15 years.

"Because of these memories their lives seemed incomplete and it was a burden that was becoming unbearable over time. So it's not surprising that they wanted desperately to forget the past."

"Is there a cure for it?"

"No but there are treatments that do a good job managing the symptoms. Medications such as SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), for instance."

"But is there any kind of treatment available or any kind of clinical trial being conducted that can help patients put those memories behind?"

"I am unaware of any." Dr Jeon answered coolly. "But the role of memories is a very complex area in the field of neuroscience. There are various hypotheses around how memories are retained and lost. Trauma can affect the hippocampus or pre-frontal cortex as a whole causing difficulties in concentration and memory storage. Some patients even experience memory distortion — they remember things that didn't happen or didn't happen the way they think it did.

"Some scientists based in McGill University in Canada have argued for the plasticity of memory based on the assumption that just by the act of remembering memories can be altered. It's been called the reconsolidating thesis. Of course it's controversial position to hold, not one shared by all neuroscientist.

"It's been known for some time that recording a memory requires adjusting the connections between neurons. Neurons talk to each other through synapses. Through something called synaptic plasticity, neurons continue to produce new proteins to rebuild parts of the synapse so that neurons can strengthen their connections if needed. This creates a network of cells that encode a memory.

"The reality is that there's still a lot we don't know about how memories are made and recalled. Even less work has been done in terms of how the mind forgets although some researchers believe that forgetting is a part of the brain's natural function rather than an issue of decay. There's some speculation that the manipulation of neurotransmitters could be the key to this.

"But a cure for PTSD? … there's no such thing."

"I wonder if you're thinking what I am, Prosecutor Han."

"About that conversation with Dr Jeon? That she's touchy about the fact that two of the victims and Lee Min-seok can be traced to her? That she's immediately defensive? That she doesn't seem that eager to cooperate for some inexplicable reason? That she's trying to convince us that Lee Min-seok has a mental health condition that is acting as some kind of cover for another mental health condition. Also she didn't ask us why we were there - why were we covering old ground? Take your pick. You're bound to hit the jackpot with one of those."

"It might be helpful to have a second opinion on Lee Min-seok's state of mind. It feels to me that so much of the case against Lee Min-seok rested very much on Dr Jeon's say so."

"And while I can't put a finger on it, despite all appearances, there's something about Dr Jeon Dong-kyung that tells me she's not the dispassionate medical practitioner she wants us to think she is."

"Someone needs to have a chat with Lee Min-seok's lawyer too."

Three years ago…

Joon-hwi checked his watch and sighed. He made the call fully expecting repercussions from the other end.

Sol is going to kill me, I know she is.

"Sweetheart, I'm going to be late. But I need to get this amicus brief from the domestic violence women's shelter for a case that's going to trial tomorrow. It's the only time they can spare."

"Hey Han Joon-hwi! You're the one that insisted that we splurge on some fancy white dress from a high end boutique. I said I didn't care about that but you twisted my arm. But now you're telling me that you're not coming?"

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Just late. You know I wouldn't miss this in all the world."

"Yeah. Excuses, excuses."

"You know I'd rather be there, right? Right?"

"Yeah, yeah… whatever. I wanted a simple wedding and I don't know why I let you talk me into doing this."

"I'll be there in half an hour. Just look around. Try as many gowns as you like. Take your time."

"You'd better like what I choose then, Han Joon-hwi."

Sol huffed into her sleeve and hung up.

Dresses. That is so not me.

In truth, Sol was already on edge coming to terms with what she had allowed herself to be dragged into but the prices of the gowns put her firmly in a state of terror.

The expense could cover lunch and dinner for a few months.

It did cross her mind that this was the opportune moment to make her escape. No one was around and Han Joon-hwi wasn't there to cajole her into staying. She could stroll out the door and no one would be the wiser.

Unfortunately for the wardrobe illiterate Kang Sol, her indecision gave a shop assistant time to come to her rescue.

"Mr Han told us to expect you. It's Ms Kang isn't it? Please come this way."

Han Joon-hwi! Bah. Always a step or two ahead.

Sol reluctantly allowed herself to be led into a room surrounded by racks upon racks of wedding and formal dresses of all colours, sizes and description. She gasped and felt as if she'd been transported into some kind of alternate universe fairytale of which she was the non-fictional ugly duckling, completely at odds with aesthetics around her. She immediately felt completely out of her depth.

I would rather be in court being cross-examined by Yangcrates.

"What kind of dress do you have in mind?"

"I don't know…" The woman who usually had a word for every occasion could only stammer. "I haven't given it all this much thought to be honest. What would you recommend?"

"With your body type and size anything you wear would look good on you."

"I am open to suggestions."

For 30 minutes Sol became a mannequin for two grown women who were only too eager to play dress-up with their new subject as they promptly draped her in the most exquisite fabric she'd seen to date.

I never thought I'd say this but I can see why women have tortured themselves for this kind of stuff.

"Ms Kang, your fiancé has arrived. Sir you're just in time. "

At that moment when Joon-hwi walked in Sol was examining herself in the wall-sized mirror wearing a white mermaid style, jewel neck, long-sleeved lace dress.

"What do you think? It's ridiculously showy and not me. But I like it." She sounded a little embarrassed.

Sol was trying to gauge Joon-hwi's reaction from roughly two metres away. He however looked as if he'd been turned into stone and she couldn't quite make out the expression on his face. Did he like it or didn't he? She didn't know what to think. It made her more uneasy than she thought would.

"You don't like it?"

Apparently it escaped his notice that the briefcase he had been carrying was no longer in his right hand but had fallen onto the floor next to him. He seemed generally oblivious to his surroundings.

"I do," was the sum total of his response. She was disappointed, relieved and mystified all at the same time. He was surprisingly uncommunicative for a man who normally had an opinion about everything. However, there was something indescribably familiar about the gaze that met her eyes. It made her feel strangely diffident.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, of course I'm sure." Although he spoke with characteristic firmness, Joon-hwi seemed distracted. He was present in the body but his mind seemed to be elsewhere.

At this point the experienced sales assistant saw enough to be certain she had made the sale. "Sir and ma'am you have both made a great choice. How would you like to pay for the dress today?"

When they were in the car, she pressed him further on the subject. His strange reticence made her uneasy despite what she'd said earlier about not caring. "Do you really like the dress?"

"I do. I like it… very much." Although it was said simply and without any flourish, it was reassuring and adequate to the request.

Sol took his answer at face value and smiled contentedly. At least he didn't object.

Maybe I should have haggled a bit more and got a bigger discount.

Smiling to herself, Sol settled into her seat and contemplated over her choice and then thought about what everyone else's reaction would be once they saw her in it. She was surprised at her own eagerness to show-off that dress… to see the surprised looks on everyone's faces with her all dressed up.

This is really happening.

Joon-hwi was completely absorbed in his thoughts. Unlike what his bride-to-be thought, seeing her in that dress had put him in an inexplicable turmoil. He was rendered speechless. He didn't have the words to string together anything coherent. Which is why he made no attempt to.

He didn't think it was possible but it was the truth behind his reserve. It was as if they were two strangers meeting for the first time. It was if there was a new side to Kang Sol that he'd never seen before. It was as if he'd fallen in love with her all over again. There were no words to describe those feelings. All he knew at the time was that he wanted to hold on to them for as long as he could.

After her disappearance, when he allowed himself the luxury of doing so, he occasionally grieved over the fact that he never told her how he felt about seeing her in that dress.

Present…

The electronics shop in Merchant Alley that the latest victim Lee Do-hyun spent much of his working life in was not much to look at. There were an assortment of household appliances for sale displayed at the front of the shop but his real business was the repairs he did in his workshop located at the back. In that space, his myriad of tools and parts were stacked neatly in shelves and drawers of all shapes and sizes up against the back wall. Not unlike a traditional apothecary.

His neighbours were quick to declare to the detectives on site that the former communications specialist in the navy was something of a genius with machines. A freakishly talented tinkerer of all things mechanical and electronic. With him around, he saved them hundreds and even thousands of dollars. But it wasn't for that alone that he was well-liked. He was a kind and sensitive man who provided a listening ear to those who needed it. On several occasions he mediated disputes between traders that broke out. There was general agreement that he was an all-round nice guy that was a huge asset to the small business community there. Everyone was genuinely mourning over his passing.

He used a large desk, roughly the size of a dining table with a desk lamp cum magnifier that oversaw all the repairs that he did. One of the detectives concluded immediately that the job of packing the items and cleaning up afterwards would be a arduous undertaking for the family that he left behind.

The detectives went through his desk drawers which contained stationery, forms and parts. His sales and service records were kept neatly in a filing cabinet that was locked. Lee Do-hyun it seemed, liked to do things the old fashioned way. And he, Yeo Min-u, had his work cut out for him.

Detective Yeo found keys in the bottom drawer which he presumed would open anything that was locked in the room. Including the filing cabinet. Before he pushed it back into its alcove, it occurred to him that there was something odd about the bottom. The colouring and texture did not fit the drawer or the rest of desk. To test a theory, he tapped on it lightly. It sounded hollow. So he pulled the drawer out further and let his fingers run around the surface until they discovered a small nick at the back. This enabled him to put his finger through and lift the false bottom.

Hidden in the false bottom was a little black notebook. Detective Yeo scanned through it. It seemed to be the collective ramblings of man who was in pain, crying out to his God for help, to take away his pain. A man who was pleading for a miracle. A man who was ashamed of his own lack of faith.

On the last page Lee Do-hyun had scribbled down these words.

My miracle has come. God has finally answered my prayers. Immemoratio.

Somewhere further away… somewhere near the city centre… a nervous frantic phone call was made.

"The cops were here."

"It doesn't mean anything. They've been to see you before."

"I know but it feels different this time. I don't like it."

"What's there to like? You knew the risks as well as anyone else."

"I don't have to like the fact that I'm made to feel that I'm a criminal."

"This is not the time to panic. You should have let me get rid of the bodies the way I wanted to. Then the cops wouldn't be prowling at your doorstep."

"These men and women have families. They'd suffered enough. Not knowing what's happened to someone you care about is a terrible ordeal to live with. I can't do that to them. I promised."

"That's the trouble. You're too soft."

"Wasn't this about helping people and making the world a better place?"

"I have other 's a lot more riding on this than mere altruism."

That scumbag. He's changing his tune now that law enforcement is closing in.

"That's not what you said when you presented your grand vision."

"Money is needed to make the world a better place, Dr Jeon. Only dreamers can live on goodwill alone."

Three years ago…

Sol raced down the hospital corridor as quickly as her legs could carry her. Fitness had never been her forte but the alarming news she received out of the blue gave her the incentive she needed to leap out of her comfort zone. Not that it made any difference to the outcome. Dan was being given emergency surgery. Why… she didn't know. The text message from a Nick somebody was light on details . All it said was that the prognosis was grim and that Sol had better come because it was possible that it would be the last time she saw Dan.

All of this made absolutely no sense. So much so that Sol was inclined to think of this as a prank at first. Except a prank of this nature made even less sense. Why would Dan be fine one minute and be in hospital undergoing the fight of her life the next? The situation was beyond absurd. All the questions that Sol had could be summed up in one: What had Dan been up to? That was the rhetorical elephant in the room.

The unease which she felt just after she left Dan at the cafe in hindsight was warranted. Her sister hadn't been cagey for no reason. She had been up to something alright and things obviously went out of control… fast. Now it would be a question of survival.

Outside the operating theatre she saw an attractive man in his mid to late thirties staring anxiously at the entrance in anticipation of someone walking through it at any moment. Sol surmised that he was the one who sent the text and took the seat next to him.

When he realised Sol was next to him, he spoke. "You look so much alike. But I suppose you hear that a lot. I'm Nick Cho. I'm Erica's … I mean Dan's partner."

Partner? What kind of partner?

"Do you work together?"

"Yes" was all he said.

"Mr Cho…"

"It's Nick. Please just call me Nick."

"Nick, I'm really confused here but what happened to Dan? I only saw her last week. You say you work together but what were you doing? "

Nick Cho looked at Sol as if he was wondering what he should tell her. He seemed conflicted.

"We were on a mission together."

"A mission? What kind of mission?" Interesting choice of words.

"It's classified. I can't say more than that. I'm sorry."

Classified? What the heck… "Isn't my sister a lawyer?"

"Technically yes."

"Are you a lawyer?"

"Technically, no… I'm not."

Is this guy going to give me a straight answer? What the hell did Dan get herself into?

Sol spent the next few minutes trying to piece together all the bits and pieces of information that she knew.

Mission. Classified. Partner.

As she was about to blurt out the question, the neurosurgeon came out theatre.

"The surgery was a success. Ms Shin was very lucky. The bullet missed critical functions of the brain. We managed to remove the bullet from her skull. But the next few nights will be crucial. We'll be moving her to the ICU. You can see her there."

A gunshot to the head? My sister, Dan… what the heck have you been doing?