Prompt from Book girl fan: My sister's getting married today, so please write something about a wedding.
AN: Congratulations to Book girl fan's sister. May she have a happily ever after.
The Best Man
"Holmes?"
"Yes Watson?"
"Holmes, why are you wearing that armor?"
"Watson, do you know why men's jackets button left over right?"
"Left over right? What are you…?"
"It is so that one may more readily draw one's sword."
"Sword?"
"That presumes, of course, that one is right handed, which most people are. Cats are ambidextrous, but that does not matter because they do not wear swords."
"Holmes…"
"Do you know why the best man stands upon the groom's right?"
"It is the place of honor, Holmes."
"Partly correct."
"Holmes…"
"Do you know why there is a best man? Why there are usually groomsmen?"
"Holmes…"
"Because in olden days there was a genuine concern that the bride's family, the male relatives, would attempt to steal the bride away before the ceremony could be completed."
"Holmes, you and I are still going to be friends once I am married."
"Oh? I am glad to know we agree on that point."
"Mary agrees, too."
"Miss Morstan continues to show her good sense and obliging nature."
"We will invite you for dinner. We will attend concerts and plays with you."
"Excellent! I look forward to many pleasant evenings."
"There is a reason you are to be my best man. It is because you are my best friend, Holmes."
"And you are mine, Watson."
"Then please do not ruin the wedding."
"Ruin the wedding? Watson! I wouldn't dream of it!"
"Then why are you wearing that… that… costume?"
"Because it is a costume."
"What?"
"On several occasions you have observed that my talents would readily lend themselves to the stage. You recall?"
"Uh… Yes."
"Well, there is a new theatre company putting on a performance of Henry V."
"Shakespeare?"
"Indeed. I am to portray the Duke of Exeter."
"Exeter?"
"Opening night is two weeks from Friday. I have secured box seats for you and your bride."
"So, you won't be wearing that to the wedding."
"Of course not! Such a ridiculous notion. It does look rather good on me, though, does it not?"
"It looks fabulous, Holmes. You will make quite the convincing royal duke."
"Thank you, Watson."
"Yes. And thank God."