Disclaimer: I do not own Cruel Summers. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
June 1995...
"So, when did you know you were, you know?" Mallory asked awkwardly.
Vince sighed, and then after a pause softly grumbled without looking at his friend, "Are we really going to have this conversation?"
"We don't have too, if you don't want too." Mallory reassured quickly, then biting her lip, before blurting out, "It's just..."
"Just what?" Vince turned to frown at his friend after a brief pause.
"Nothing." Mallory said quickly, and unconvincingly.
Another brief pause, and then Vince sighed, "I guess, I always knew, you know? I liked girls, but... I never really, liked girls. Not like that, anyway. But it wasn't until I met Ben, like, really met him, that I knew for sure. I was like, wow! This feels so right. This is who I am, who I'm supposed to be. And I may not be ready to scream it from the rooftops, but I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life."
Yet another brief pause, then Mallory just hummed, "Huh."
"Huh?" Vince raised an eyebrow.
"I mean, that's great." Mallory quickly added, forcing a smile onto her face, "I support you, 100%."
"But?" Vince questioned.
"No buts." Mallory insisted, before sighing, looking her friend directly in the face, and insisting, "Seriously, there is no but, and there never will be. You're my oldest friend. My oldest friend who isn't a backstabbing bitch, but... the point is, I love you, man. I don't give a shit who you wanna be with, as long as they treat you right."
"Thanks." Vince smiled in relief. It was a smile that the two friends shared for a few long seconds, and then against his better judgment, Vince tested a theory, "So, is there something you want to tell me?"
"Like what?" Mallory questioned defensively, going back to her old self.
"I don't know..." Vince paused, initially playing it off as a joke, "You've been hanging out with Kate Wallis a lot lately.
"Ewww, gross!" Mallory laughed, pushing him gently, and then somewhat giving herself away, "How come guys always jump to that conclusion. Even the gay ones. I mean, seriously, we're just friends. And even if I wanted that, she wouldn't, it's not like Kate would ever like girls. She's way too, Little Miss Perfect Texas Girl for that. And even if she was, she'd never like me like that."
"I don't know, I've seen the way you two look at each other." Vince said softly, immediately killing the light-hearted mood. Worrying that he'd made a mistake, then Vince softly added, "Mallory, I..."
"Don't!" Mallory snapped at him, "I don't care what you think you've seen, but Kate isn't like you. I'm not like you. We have a normal friendship, and if you say any different, I'll..."
"You'll what?" Vince questioned, after yet another brief pause.
"Nothing." Mallory said apologetically, "I'm... I'm sorry, Vince. I shouldn't lose my temper like that. I didn't mean to imply what you are as bad. Who you are! I just..."
"Feel protective of her?" Vince questioned.
"Yeah..." Mallory said weakly, "She's been through a lot, you know?"
"I know." Vince said softly, before pointing out, "I guess it's a good thing, she has someone like you in her corner, huh?"
"Yeah..." Mallory said sarcastically, "She's real lucky."
"You know what I mean." Vince pointed out.
"I do." Mallory admitted.
Mallory wanted to tell him he was wrong about Kate being lucky to have Mallory in her corner, but he would never understand. And yet, in another way, he knew better than anyone. Something that she wished she could tell him, but she just couldn't. Not right now. Thankfully, he seemed to realize that, and changed the subject.
Not that she was really listening to him, as her mind was once again focused on Kate Wallis. She'd imagined having 'that conversation' with her many times before, and each time she got what she deserved. Which meant she should do it, but again, she just couldn't. Little did she know she would be having 'that conversation' only a few months later, and it was like nothing she had ever dared to hope.
*
September 1995...
"So, when did you know you were, you know?" Mallory asked awkwardly.
Kate sighed, partly because of the words, and partly because their latest kiss had been broken for this, "Are we really going to have this conversation?"
"We don't have too, if you don't want too. I'm totally good with just the kissing." Mallory reassured quickly, then biting her lip, before blurting out, "It's just..."
"Just what?" Kate turned to frown at the other girl after a brief pause.
"Nothing." Mallory said quickly, and unconvincingly.
Another brief pause, and then Kate sighed, "I guess, I always knew, you know? I liked boys, but... I liked girls too. I didn't think I'd ever do anything about it, but then... I met you. Like, really met you, that I was like, wow! This girl. And it felt so right. Feels so right. And we just click, you know? More than anyone else in my entire life."
Yet another brief pause, then Mallory just hummed, "Huh."
"Huh?" Kate raised an eyebrow.
"Nothing." Mallory said quickly, and unconvincingly. Then when the other girl gave her a look, she sighed and admitted, "It's just, I've had this conversation before. Sort of."
"With Vince?" Kate guessed, right on the money given the look on Mallory's face, "What? He's your best friend. Other the me, of course. And gay. So it makes sense you'd come out to each other."
"Kate?" Mallory hissed, "Keep your voice down."
"What? We're in my room. It's fine." Kate brushed it off, and then when the other girl still looked terrified, she asked, "Is it because I used the term coming out? Huh? Are you really that scared of labels?"
There was a brief pause, then Mallory grumbled, "I didn't know you knew about him."
"Please, as if him and Ben are in anyway sneaky." Kate scoffed, before sighing, "I think most people know, but they don't want to know. You know? Either because they feel sorry for Ben, or they just don't care. And the rest? Either they can't wrap their heads around the idea of them being together, or they hated Vince already for being black."
There was a brief pause, and then Mallory softly questioned, "Is that how it is with us?"
"No." Kate almost laughed, "I was acting out of character before we became friends, and after... everything, no one dares question me. Well, no one but my Mom, and she's either afraid to ask, or doesn't want to know, or hasn't even considered it a possibility. But everyone else? Hell, I could shove my tongue down ya throat, right in front of 'em, and some would still dismiss it as gals being pals at this point."
All Mallory could respond with was, "Oh..."
"So, what about you?" Kate asked, "When did you know?"
Another pause, this one the longest yet, then Mallory grumbled, "Same... I always knew. But... I didn't like boys. Just girls. Only girls. But I thought everyone would hate me, if they found out, so I... I just, pretended. It was pretty easy, actually. I'm not blind, I knew Jeanette's Dad was always hot, objectively speaking. So I just needed to talk about him, and that would normally shut the conversation down. And I went on a few dates, just so no one would talk. And to see if I could feel anything. But I didn't. Hell, I was beginning to think I was broken, because I didn't even really feel anything for girls. I wanted to fuck them, but... I didn't really, feel anything, until I met you. Like, really met you. And yeah, I was like, wow! This girl! And it felt right, and we did just click, and I want this. More than anything else in my entire life."
There was a long pause, in which the two girls just stared at each other with a soft look, then they shared a brief kiss, before finally Kate broke the silence with a question, "Do you want to go back to kissing, or just cuddle?"
"I'm good with either." Mallory said softly.
"Or, we can talk about labels some more?" Kate offered cautiously, before pointing out, "I can think of at least one label worth discussing."
Initially Mallory frowned with confusion, then she got what Kate was saying, and then admitted, "I... I think cuddling is good, for now."
"Then come here." Kate whispered softly, gently guiding Mallory's head down to her chest, while rolling so that Kate was lying on her back and Mallory was on her side, when before it had been vice versa. For a few long seconds Kate gently stroked Mallory's hair, then she kissed the top of her head, and softly told her, "I'm actually glad we had this conversation. Because I, feel something for you, no matter what labels you feel suits you."
Mallory smiled softly, and softly admitted, "Me too."
Mallory could in fact think of one particular label that she wanted, that being of Kate Wallis's girlfriend, but she couldn't say that out loud. Not yet. Hell, she didn't even want to think it, in case she jinxed it.
So she just lay there, happy with the labels that she and Kate had managed to dance around.