Barney was feeling hollow inside as he packed his gear. The words Tool had said to him that morning kept echoing in his mind. His hands faltered as his mind raced through all the thoughts he was having. He was staring at the table, unmoving, when Toll came into the room.
"Barney?"
He snapped his head over to look at Toll. He wondered if it was written all over his face. Toll was waiting patiently, so Barney cleared his throat before answering.
"Yea?"
"Do you really trust this Ava?" Toll asked. Ah, so that's what this was about. Another doubter.
"I trusted Duke, and if he trusted her, then so do I," Barney reasoned.
"And who is Duke?"
Barney saw Duke standing in front of him almost as if he was back in that battlefield. He blinked, the image getting erased. He wondered how Duke died.
"A man who saved my life and didn't have to," Barney answered a bit roughly. "Any more questions?"
"Nope." Toll held up his hands in mock surrender. Then he went over to his side of the war room and started pulling out his guns. Caesar, Gunner, Doc, and Lee soon followed suit. Barney looked after a while to see Ava hovering in the doorway, surveying the room. He noticed how small she looked.
Lee noticed her at this point and gave an audible snort of disconcertment. Toll shot him a look before meeting Barney's eyes.
"Come on in, Ava," Barney said to her after. "Take your pick."
She strolled in casually, arms crossed as she walked and took it all in. She went to reach for a knife on the table, and Lee instantly caught her wrist.
"Absolutely not," he said.
"You really are intimidated by me," she noted.
"Not at all," he practically snarled. Doc reached over to snatch up the knife at this point, giving Lee a wink.
"It's mine anyway, Christmas," Doc said lightly. "Leave the big boy toys to the master. Your little knives are over there." He pointed to one of the shelves, and Lee shot him a glare before releasing Ava. He watched as Doc handed Ava the knife.
"Thanks," she said to him. She studied the raven on the handle before turning the knife over to look at it. Barney looked as Lee came towards him, bag over his shoulder.
"If she gets us all killed, it's on you," Lee said to him as he passed. Barney rolled his eyes.
"Drama Queen," he called after him. Lee held up his middle finger as he walked out of the room. The others finished gearing up and left one by one. Barney and Ava were soon alone together.
"If this is a problem, I can stay here," she said to him.
"Christmas takes a while to warm up to new people. Ask the younger team."
"Doesn't play well with others?"
"Not at all," Barney chuckled. "He's our emotional one."
"Got it," Ava said with a slight smile.
"I'm waiting for Luna," Barney said. "I've thought about Gunner's idea, and I think it could work." Gunner had pulled him aside to explain it once it was decided they were doing the job.
"Care to explain?"
Ava leaned against the table as Barney shifted on his feet. Luna came rushing in at this point.
"Sorry I'm late," she said, heading to her side of the room and sliding open the cage to reveal her weapons.
"You're fine," Barney replied. "Since you're here, you might as well listen up. This is the plan." Luna turned to face him, waiting. Then he launched into it.
...
Ava was out for a run as the sun was setting. She was thinking about this mission and what she and Luna were supposed to do. She almost started laughing at the ridiculousness of it, but she knew it would work. Men always let their guard down around a pretty girl, and Luna was definitely pretty. Ava had gone out to purchase coverup, a wig, and a dress. There weren't going to be any mistakes on this job, but then again, no one was giving her false information so that she'd blow her own cover and get killed.
Simon.
Ava's blood boiled just thinking about him and what he'd done to her and Duke. Her feet pounded the pavement as her thoughts raged on. She forced herself to think about the new job instead. It was almost a blessing, having this new thing to focus on. They were leaving in the morning. She knew Christmas had a problem with her since she'd bruised his ego by manhandling him. She hoped he would grow up and get over it before they needed to count on each other to stay alive.
Then she thought about Gunner. He seemed to be hiding pain, just like her. It was intriguing despite her not wanting to be intrigued. He was always smiling at her or looking at her when she looked at him. She remembered the last time a man looked at her like that. It was a regret of hers, leaving Michael behind the way that she did all those years ago. She hoped he really was happy with her sister.
She slowed down when she caught sight of Tool standing in the street outside of his building. She came to a stop a few feet away from him, trying to figure out what he was doing. He was frowning and looking a bit disgruntled.
"Are you all right?" she asked finally, making him turn to see her.
"Oh, yes," Tool answered. "Just thinking."
Ava was pretty sure he was lying, but she didn't know him well enough to press for the truth. She just gave him a smile and a nod and walked past him to head inside. She hit the shower and then she hit her pillow. She felt slight anticipation about the next day, but she knew she'd calm down eventually. She always did.
The Next Day
Gunner felt nervous. It wasn't anything to do with the mission. No, it was to do with the beautiful woman who was sitting beside him. Barney had taken off at 0600 hours, and Ava had chosen the seat to Gunner's left. His mouth was dry, and he kept swallowing or licking his lips. He didn't know what to say to her without sounding like an idiot. It appeared that Mars noticed as he nudged Thorn, who smirked. Gunner shot them a sharp look, making their faces become serious again. Galgo and John had stayed back, which Gunner was thankful for. The Chatterbox got on his last nerve very quickly, and John usually sat off to the side and brooded. At least, Gunner thought he was brooding. He might just look unhappy all the time.
Luna was jiggling her leg across from him. He wondered if she was afraid of what she was going to be doing. It appeared that this type of thing was not new to Ava, who was calm and still next to him, her eyes closed. She'd put something on her face to hide the bruising from her last fight. A bit of the cut was still visible, but it just added to her beauty in his mind. Toll was reading, as usual. Caesar was frowning at a Sudoku puzzle in his hand. Doc was sleeping. Lee was up with Barney at the front. Gunner sometimes wished he was allowed to sit there.
"How the fork are you supposed to solve one of these?!" Caesar exploded, shaking the puzzle book viciously in his hand as if it could answer the question and apologize for being so difficult. Everyone looked at him, brows raised.
"Fork?" Toll asked on cue.
"I have kids, man," Caesar retorted.
"Right. Fecking hell," Toll said, smirking.
"What if you put a 'ph' in front of it?" Mars asked, snickering. "Does that still count?"
"Puh-huck," Thorn tried it out.
"They make the same 'fff' sound, idiot," Luna said, rolling her eyes.
"I know that," Thorn shot back.
"Fartknocker!" Toll exclaimed, on a roll with his child proof swear words. "Fudge! Mother, Father, Sister, Brother!"
"Okay, okay!" Caesar said loudly, done with being mocked.
"Son of a motherless goat," Toll threw in, his voice deepening near the end of it.
"Hey, I've seen that bit," Mars said, realizing. "Tim Hawkins, right?"
"Right on," Toll answered, chuckling. He looked over at Caesar. "Turd."
"Shut up, man," Caesar growled. "God."
"Oohh, he bleeped and he tooted."
"Knock it off!"
"You better stop before he blows us all up," Thorn said, gesturing. "His vein is popping." Caesar threw his puzzle book at Thorn's head, who ducked it easily. He didn't miss the pencil, though, which caught him just under his eye. "Ow!"
"Settle down back there!" Barney called from the front. Gunner looked to see him twisted around to face them. He felt like a scolded child, and he hadn't even done or said anything to deserve it. Ava had a bit of a smirk on her lips at this point, and Gunner felt pleased that his team was able to make her amused. He wanted to make her laugh and smile. He wanted to know everything about her. He wanted to know why she looked so sad.
He hoped to find out.
...
Ava found the bickering and banter among the Expendables to be comical. She was used to working alone, so having teammates was a nice change, not that she'd admit it out loud. She thought back to her military days and the team she used to have there. They were a good group of men and women.
"So, Ava," Gunner said, making her look at him. Finally, he spoke. She could tell he was working the nerve to say something for the last while. She found his awkwardness a little bit sweet and refreshing. Most men were very bold and confident when they told her what they wanted.
"Yes?" she prompted when he faltered. He cleared his throat again.
"Where do you call home?"
The question caught her off guard. She didn't really want to think about home, but then again, it was all she could think about lately.
"It used to be Boston," she answered softly.
"Are you on the run?"
"I'm just trying to get lost," she answered, trying to be vague.
"I was lost once," Gunner offered. "I'm alright now."
Ava surveyed him carefully. She had a feeling he was referring to some kind of addiction. That would explain the look in his eyes. Could he sense it in her? Was that why he kept trying to converse with her? Did she give off a vibe that she wanted to share about her own addiction? Maybe she wanted to. It surprised her.
"Good," she said. "That's good."
"Ava," Luna said suddenly, making both Gunner and Ava look at her. "Can we talk? Privately?"
"Sure," Ava agreed, getting up. They moved to a quieter part of the plane. She could tell the younger woman was nervous about this mission. She leaned against the side of the plane and waited.
"What if they figure it out?" Luna asked quietly. "What if I can't pull this off?"
"You can," Ava answered. "Just pretend they're someone you really care about, and you will appear genuine."
"That's it?"
"Yea," Ava replied, nodding slowly. She reached to squeeze Luna's shoulder comfortingly. "And besides, most men don't think much when there's a chance for sex."
"Right. Men," Luna muttered, cracking her knuckles. Something about her reminded Ava of her sister. She felt her throat tighten suddenly.
"Yea, men," Ava agreed.
"You've done this before?" Luna asked. Ava nodded slowly. She recalled the last one she had done, the one where her cover had been blown and she almost got killed.
"Just follow my lead, and we'll be in and out before anyone can say 'let's have sex,'" Ava said with a smile.
"All right," Luna said. Ava moved back to her seat next to Gunner and rested her head against the wall of the plane. There was a dull throbbing in her temples. She hoped this mission would go quickly. Then she could disappear.
...
"I don't trust her," Lee said for the tenth time. Barney was getting tired of hearing it. The temptation to put out his cigar on Lee's leg just to give him something else to bitch about was very strong. His fingers twitched.
"I'm not asking you to trust her. I'm asking you to trust me," he said eventually.
"And you trust her?"
"Right now, yes."
"This is crazy," Lee said on cue. "She comes from nowhere, and you just pick her up like a lost lamb?"
"It's how I got you, isn't it? Is there a return address on you somewhere? I'm about done with this attitude," Barney said a bit abruptly.
"Finders Keepers," Lee retorted.
"More like Losers Weepers," Barney muttered.
"What?"
"Just shut your damn mouth and go to sleep or somethin'," Barney ordered. "Don't yap at me unless you're on the verge of death, and even then, think twice."
"Sod off," Lee growled. He stopped talking, though. He knew better than to push Barney too far. It left Barney to resume his thoughts on other things, things he didn't want to think about. Things that scared him.
Hell, he'd take getting shot over thinking about any of it.
...
Tool fingered his glass full of whiskey and stared off into the distance. The boys were gone again, and he was alone once more. A part of him had almost volunteered to go and get himself killed. It was a more appealing option than what he was going to face if he was honest.
He sipped his drink, setting the glass down again gently. He looked at the gun on the table next to it. He wasn't ready yet, but there was no way he was going down the way the doctor told him he was going to. He just couldn't go out like that. He'd rather take control of it himself. Barney had flat out said no when he asked, so that left Tool to do it himself.
It scared him: death.
A part of him was scared he'd see that woman from the bridge there, that she'd accuse him for just letting her die like that. The other part feared there was a God who was going to send him to hell for everything he'd done. The last part was terrified there was nothing. The idea of eternal blackness made him feel like he couldn't breathe.
"You look like you're considering something very big," Galgo said, coming to join him. Tool liked Galgo. He could also get annoyed by him quickly if he wasn't in the right mood, which now was one of those times.
"I'd like to be alone," Tool told him as nicely as possible.
"Right," Galgo sighed, getting back up. "Just so you know, I am a good listener too."
"I have a hard time believing that," Tool snorted.
"Well, believe it," Galgo said with a shrug. "You know where to find me." He walked away, and Tool knew that he could have shared what was on his mind. He had a feeling Galgo would understand where he was coming from. Maybe Galgo would help him. He gave his head a shake and reached to put his gun away.
He'd worry about what to do to himself another day.