A drunken old man with blue-gray hair wandered across an alien landscape. His shoulders were hunched and his thoughts were occupied with the barely-sentient mass of flesh and crystal heading toward the Earth. It had been an impressive thing, even beautiful in a sense. A hive-mind, a collective, a creature so large, so powerful, it operated on the scale of entire species across endless worlds. A being that feasted on intelligence itself, experimented on civilizations and consumed planets in an endless dance of shattering and recombining. A multi-dimensional parasite. Impossibly large and yet, insignificant against the enormity of a multiverse it could barely comprehend or exploit.

Oh, the thing certainly knew a great many things and it was certainly capable of accomplishing almost anything it could possibly want. Yet, the creature couldn't achieve the one thing it actually wanted to achieve. In the grand scheme of things, even the multi-dimensional alien god was a sad little worm, desperately searching for an answer to the one problem it truly cared about.

The man stopped in place and sighed. That was the great irony of it all. The creature would never solve its problem. Not because a solution didn't exist, mind you. No, there were multiple solutions. But the thing was just too stupid, too focused on the dance to recognize that it already had a solution.

He took out his flask and drank again. He hated the idea that he could be even remotely similar to such a pitiful thing. Yet here he was, straying far away from home – if 'home' even meant anything at this point – searching for meaning where there was not a shred of it to be found.

The parasite, – or maybe parasites, though as far as he was concerned the entire thing was a single hive-mind split in two – would arrive at the cradle of humanity sometime in the next few years. He knew for a fact that a significant number of the alternate Earths the parasite could access were inhabited by people. He knew what humanity's fate would be across those realities. He knew that quadrillions would die. He told himself he didn't care. That despite the fact that he himself was a human, other humans didn't hold a particularly special place in his heart. He knew that the multiverse was infinite, that there was always someone suffering somewhere, that even this very event echoed infinitely across endless realities. He knew it would be a futile effort to try to save doomed people for the sake of making a difference. And yet…

He sighed again, "Shit."

Maybe he was just losing it, maybe it was the combined result of his drunkenness and his newest existential crisis. But he knew he had already made his decision.

Not that it would cost him much anyway.

He took out a strange looking gun and aimed it at the ground. With his other hand he took out a white crystal. He had been saving it for an emergency, but at the end of the day, impulsive decision and urgent need were not that different. And besides, he could always make more.

"One central node, or at least cl-close enough," he murmured as he calibrated his gun, "A bit of irony." he chuckled and pressed the trigger. Light flashed on the ground, ripping a hole through reality. An instant later, white flesh spilled out.

He sat down and slowly pushed the crystal into the flesh.

He cleared his throat, "Hellooo, stranger," he began animatedly, carefully keeping his hand on the crystal, "This is a sim-simulacrum, it's, ah," he paused, then rolled his eyes, "You'll figure it out. Have fu-un."

The rancid scent of rot and decay pierced through the darkness. On instinct, I reached up to pinch my nose, but the smell was so overwhelmingly repugnant that bile rose up in my throat before I had the chance to do so. The content of my stomach poured out of my mouth as I tried and failed to contain it.

I took a breath, trying to center myself, but only managed to overwhelm my senses with the smell and make myself vomit again.

And then again after that. I vomited so many times that nothing remained in my stomach to vomit out anymore. Even then, it took a while until I could stop gagging on the smell.

I tried to straighten up, and hit my head on something.

"What the fuck?" I breathed out.

An alien parasite, a tiny slice of a massive gestalt creature, linked to the host's brain through a cross-dimensional Einstein–Rosen bridge. Must sever the connection as soon as possible now that the simulacrum has fully transplanted itself, otherwise the host's behavioral—

"What the FUCK?" I rasped.

Oh God, oh God, there's an alien parasite in my head. What the fuck… How did this happen? And… how the fuck do I…

I shook my head, driving the thought away for the moment. There was something strange going on, but… this wasn't the time. I would deal with it later.

One problem at a time.

I couldn't see anything in the darkness. I tried to move, only to find that I was constrained to a very limited space. Moving my feet only pushed around the mass of things that surrounded them. I grabbed at the… walls, trying to get a proper handle on my surroundings. The surface was cold… metallic—

Oh.

I groaned.

The bullies. School. Obviously, I'm inside my locker.

Right. I needed to get out.

I tried to turn but the space was way too tight. How the fuck had I fit in this place anyway? The fucking bullies. God, I was going to murder the trio. I squeezed myself so I could have a little more room for movement, and managed to successfully – and awkwardly – turn in the confined space.

Oh, there was light! I moved faster, managing to graze my elbows as I fully turned to face the five thin strips of light that penetrated inside.

Right, that would be the door.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" I shouted, "I'm stuck inside a locker. Help!"

There was only silence.

"Great."

Right. It was a shitty locker door. How hard could it be to force it open anyway? I groaned, and pushed myself back as far as I could, which was not much at all. I really needed to carry more tools with myself, then this shit wouldn't happen. A portal gun would've been really useful right about now.

What?

Strange mathematical notations and equations swirled in my brain—

I shook my head.

Oh, for fuck's sake, focus on the current problem. Leave the other shit for later Taylor.

I kicked at the door with all my might, which barely accomplished anything. I kicked again, and again.

"IS ANYBODY THERE?"

Bang, Bang, Bang

"COME ON, THERE HAS TO BE AT LEAST ONE USEFULL PIECE OF SHIT IN THIS FUCKING BUILDING."

Bang, Bang, Bang

I paused to take a breath of the rancid air.

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU, EMMA."

It was only now that I felt the exhaustion and hurt all over my body. I was weak. That… shouldn't have been the case. I would have to fix that later. After removing the connection to the parasite of course. That took priority.

Focus.

I stared at the door—

Holy shit, there was a small gap between the bottom of the door and the right side. The part with the lock hadn't moved. What the fuck did they make those things with? No matter, if I could only reach out with my fingers, maybe I could force open the lock.

I renewed my kicks to the door, watching the gap slowly widen until it felt wide enough to be useful.

I reached forward, the gap was barely big enough to accommodate my fingers, but I could barely reach the lock if I stretched my fingers enough for the metal edge to tear into my hand.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

I leaned forward, putting my ear as close as possible to the lock while keeping the tip of my fingers close enough to the lock to be able to work with it. It was a very awkward position. I started turning the mechanism, slowly. Those implants to improve hearing accuracy would've been really fucking useful now.

Later.

Finally, an eternity later, the last digit clicked in place.

I sprawled out on my hands and knees as soon as the door popped open to the empty hallway. I hungrily breathed in the air. It was not exactly fresh air. But it felt much better than inside the locker.

Then I looked around, the hallway, illuminated by sunlight through the windows, was entirely empty.

"Seriously? Not a single person?"

I pushed myself back up and stumbled to my feet. I still felt incredibly weak. I really needed those implants, if only for emergencies like this.

"Okay."

I took another breath and turned to the locker.

"Holy shit. Mother fucker. What the actual fuck?"

The entire thing was infested with crawling insects. Just seeing the image made the foul smell intensify exponentially. I almost fell down again.

"Fuck, I need help."

I turned away from the revolting sight and started walking, stumblingly making my way through the hallway. There was not a single person in sight. What time was it anyway? There was still a lot of sunlight coming through the windows if anything. People should've been here.

Then I got to a hallway with classrooms.

I stopped as soon as I heard people talking.

There were classes going on. Somehow that made me even angrier about the whole thing. I almost ran to the nearest door, but I was too weak to do anything of the sort. So, I walked slowly, agonizingly, until I got to the door. I leaned against it and waited a few moments.

I took a breath, and barged in.

And of course, the stunned face of fucking Gladly was the first thing to greet me. Every conversation in the room ceased. I would've loved to turn and see everyone's faces but I was feeling really queasy now. And I couldn't care less about the students. Well, except the ones I was going to murder, that is.

I stumbled toward Gladly.

"Call nine-one-one." I blurted out.

Gladly stared at me stupidly like the fucking idiot that he was.

Oh fuck. My vision was darkening at the corners. That couldn't possibly be a good thing.

"I said, call—"

"Miss Hebert? Are you alright?"

Oh, for fuck's sake.

"Are you fucking blind? No, I'm not fucking alright, you piece of shit." I tittered forward on my feet, "Call for the- call for an ambulance, you—"

Gladly moved, probably to intercept me before I fell face first on the ground. Not that something like that would happen, seeing as I regained my balance before it could.

"Miss Hebert—"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND CALL THE F—"

Everything went black.